BUY ME 2008-02-27

It's Wednesday and you know what that means! More Daily Raider updates! I agreed to write this update post because it would help promote Pigface's review of KMFDM - Xtort Review and because I have an affinity for the website. They write 14 articles a week every week. Who cares if most of them suck? There's lots of them! That's the kind of spirit the CEO of Invisible Records admires. Quantity over quality any day.

The comics section sports 3 new articles: Fucking Me: It's The Law by Iron Man, Black Adam: The Dark Age Review by Doom and The Magical Xylophones 2007 by the Fanboy. I want to highlight that last one because it's another posthumous release by the Daily Raider of Fanboy material. There's little I enjoy more than exploiting the dead for money.

Rounding out the update are articles all about money and cash-ins: 50 Things Kids Won't Learn In School About Jews by Charlie Sykes, Pokémon Pearl Review by Doom and Soulja Boy - souljaboytellem.com Review by Doom and Commando. I cannot begrudge anything that leads to money. I love money. Almost as much as I love exploiting people and using slave labor. Almost.

I'll end this now, as I think I found a toenail clipping outside of Al Jourgensen's trash. TO EBAY!!!!

-Martin Atkins

Go robot, it's your birthday 2008-02-25

I am 20 year olds now. Truly, I am a man. Wait, I became a man at the Bar Mitzvah I never had. Anyway. It being my birthday does not stop me from feeling the need to inform you of things that are new that you should read. It's a special update since we got ourselves a roundtable written entirely by the staff of DC Comics. Countdown Month 10, boys and girls!

For TV, there is a review of Cashmere Mafia, the second Sex and the City ripoff of the season. I suspect it won't be the last. All similarities to our Lipstick Jungle review are entirely coincidental, by the way.

Two presidential candidates get profiled with Barack Obama: America's Favorite Nigger and Rudy Giuliani: America's Favorite Fascist. So what if Giuliani dropped out? He's still an asshole.

The rest of the update:

-Blog 8 by Doom: making fun of IAN BRILL time!

-Facebook 51 by Doom, Rammspieler, Jedi Guardian and Nerdlinger: making fun of Northern Illinois University's time!

-Myspace 80 by Doom and Nerdlinger: making fun of Kel Mitchell time!

Next update will be...soon.

-Doom

The Shitty Awards 2008-02-20

Apologies for the delay in updating; there was a snag in one of the articles which required a Ron Lim-esque fill-in at the last moment. Try to guess which one required the Ron Lim-esque fill-in! You may be pleasantly surprised. ...but probably not.

This is our awards update, as seen by Game of the Year 2007, The Up-Chuck Awards 2007 and The Travoltas 2007. Writing credit goes to pretty much everyone on the site.

There's also some television reviews in Smallville: "Fracture" Review by myself and Black Goliath and Lost 4x01: "The Beginning of the End". I should mention Ronnie Gardocki: A Facial History by the Fanboy too. Yes, by the Fanboy. But isn't he dead, you ask. Yes, yes he is. I managed to find a few finished works Fanboy left behind before his, *cough* unfortunate demise. Expect a couple more Fanboy articles to appear on site at random intervals.

I would say I'm a horrible boyfriend for writing Pleasuring Doom's girlfriend, the Stan Lee way, but then again, I didn't write it. Stan Lee did. Not me. Stan Lee. Not me. Stan Lee.

That does it for tonight. Expect another update...soon.

-Doom

ANDREW STEIBER 1989 - 2008 2008-02-17

Blasted wallcrawler! I blame him for the death of Andrew "The Fanboy" Steiber, who was shot and killed at 9 PM tonight! And I bet Doom was involved in it too! Either way, though, I'm not picking up the tab for his funeral expenses. The fat load can get cremated at the Pizza Hut for all I care!

What else? Oh, yes. There's an updated FAQ. And the Contact page has writers like Nightcrawler, Nerdlinger, Jurassic3000, Malice, Molestro and Ed Gein on it now. As long as SPIDER-MAN's not on it, I'm pleased.

Now what are you waiting for? Write!!

-J. Jonah Jameson

I'm DEAD tired! 2008-02-17

Hey hey! I was just six feet under and BOY is my brain being slowly devoured by worms! But enough about me. You want to know about the update! Well, first of all we have three reviews by the duo of Doom and Malice: Blair Witch Project 2, Step Up 2 and Jumper. Blair Witch 2, eh? I wonder if I'll ever haunt anyone. Probably not, but you never know.

You know what also happened in this update? The Fanboy quit. He didn't quit life like I did, but he quit. Read about it here, it being him quitting, not me dying. That was a couple updates ago, right? Right. Okay. Next up. Next up are two articles about Northern Illinois, Northern Illinois by Doom and Guys by Todd Howard. Me, I prefer accidental drug overdoses to death by bullets.

I also prefer accidental drug overdose to that ugly he-she Black Canary seen in the Smallville episode "Siren", which Doom and Black Goliath review here. It makes a guy just wanna fuck Jake Gyllenhaal again.

The rest of the update:

-Blog 7

-Facebook 50

-Myspace 79

-Zombie Heath Ledger

Vote for me vote for me vote for me 2008-02-14

It's Valentine's Day! You know what that means: love is in the air. And I love love, since love is a positive thing which can bring America together. You know what else can bring America together? Me. There's a lot of Valentine's Day articles, however, with no me-related articles, the first of which is Valentine's Day by Doom and Malice. They also work together on P.S. I Love You and The Eye. Ah, lovebirds. They remind me of Michelle and I. Anything that reminds me of me is great.

In addition Doom writes about Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane as well as an article about how much he truly loves his girlfriend Malice. You know another way to support love and show your romantic feelings towards another? By voting Obama in the primaries. I'm pro-love! Except when it comes to gays, in which case I'm uncomfortable. But I support them anyway because even a gay vote is a vote!

Other articles: Ow! My Balls! (about Doom's unfortunate testicular problem), Steve Niles' Dating Guide and a review of a Marilyn Manson concert. Hm, I wonder if Marilyn Manson supports Barack Obama. I know I do!

-Barack Obama

BAH 2008-02-11

I am very NOT pleased to present to you the Daily Raider Zero Update, which is called as such because it was a fill-in update created in the wake of Doom's more egregious delaying. However, I do like the Zero Update because it is one update without Doom contributing to it whatsoever. Wait...DAMMIT! He co-wrote 100 reasons why the update took so long with Stan Lee. Well, at least there's, uh, the Half-Life 2, Ep. 1, Ep. 2 article by Nightcrawler. Eh.

Black Goliath gets out of prison long enough to write two articles, Superman/Batman: Vengeance and The "N" List: The Top Five Threats to Black America. Well, at least he's not that crumbum Josiah X, though I bet they're probably cousins or something.

Commando smokes up and writes another Democracy Soon! blog. Hippie. Jedi gives a tour of the United States. Canadian.

The two articles I do recommend are Todd Howard's Guys, the update, guys, guys and my cogent and fair-minded Where's the update?!. We're speaking truth to power. Truth to the power that is Doom's corruption and refusal to update once an hour every hour until there are 200 more articles on the site.

-The Fanboy

I don't write shit 2008-02-10

Well since White Law hasn't made any moves on our houses (yet), I think it's safe to say that I, Ed Gein, will be able to bring you today's update.

First in line is Burnout Paradise review by that comic drawing HACK Furioso. I'll get away with saying that because that fucker's never on chat! Up next is Cloverfield review by Doom and Malice (aka "New" Doom and site ruining whore). Oh look, it's a Countdown Month 9 roundtable by Doom, the Red Fox, Bruce Banner, Black Goliath, Nerdlinger, the Fanboy and Dan Didio. Here's a Fun Fact: we hate writing these. But it makes for an impressive update, so doom on you! We've also got a Medal of Honor Airborne review by "that HACK" Furioso. I'm going to keep saying that until he gets the hint to go to you-know-where. We've got Blog 6 by Nerd and Iranian Uncle. Facebook 49 by Doom and Malice(get used to it, niggers). Myspace 78 by Nerd and Todd Howard; can't have one of these kinds of articles without Nerdlinger, man. He's a "social" nerd, you know, so it's like nothing for him to be assigned a Myspace, Facebook, blog, etc etc. Finally there's a Don't Blow Your Cover: A Tribute to KMFDM Review by En Esch and Guenter Schulz, which I know nothing about.

Peace out kneegrows.

-Ed Gein

Updatetacular Siter-Man 2008-02-06

Well, well well… A few weeks later and it looks like Doom’s come crawling back to me to write the update. I expect it’s because my previous one was so damn awesome, and he needs me to fill in while he’s out having a better life than me…

Let’s move along from the self loathing for now and get rolling with the update. First we have an actual update for the Books section with Animorphs by Lorne Michaels. Ah, Animorphs, bring me back to such simpler times… Then we have a review for Devil May Cry 4 by Nightcrawler. Is Nero a huge faggot or not, all questions shall be answered!

When you’re done reading that claptrap, we have a review of Dogma by Shaenelle Johnston. Who the fuck is she, you ask? Damned if I give a rat’s ass. Coming up after that when you get off your lazy ass is Mario Party 8 by Doom and John Madden. Exactly what the Wii needs, MINI GAMES!

Bringing up the rear is a review of Sophie by Doom (not his girlfriend, but a TV Show, you fucking perverts). Then an article by a newcomer: Why I Died by Zombie Heath Ledger. I’m sure it will be a fascinating read from a man who’s claim to success in the first place was taking it in the ass.

Finally, we have 2 new comic updates:

Ultimates 3.2 by Doom and Black Goliath. Incestual relations abound!

-Nerdlinger

Update Time 2008-02-03

I'm tired, so I'm gonna list what's up and who wrote it.

New Avengers by Nightcrawler

Rambo IV Review by Doom and Malice

The Simpsons: "That 90's Show" Review by the Fanboy

Dead Rising Review by Generalissimo Furioso

Blog 5 by Nerdlinger and Nerdlinger

Facebook 48 by Doom, Generalissimo Furioso and Nerdlinger

Myspace 77 by Nerdlinger and Ed Gein

Wow, Nerdlinger wrote more than I did this update. Christ. I'm slipping.

-Doom

2008-01-30

It's January 30th! You all know what that means!

Yeah, I don't know either, but it does mean another update for everyone's favorite website you've never heard of!

Tonight we have the following

100 Other Ways for Lemansky to get into trouble before year's end. I still call him Dizz, just because I don't consider getting kicked out of College the same as being perforated by your best friend.

New Recruits by Sgt. Major, everyone's favorite babykiller

PIG - Pigmata by the Fanboy, I'm sure it'll be completely objective with no hyperbole whatsoever.

Seinfeld by Lorne Micheals, I'm still puzzled as to why he writes for us, but eh.

Hanzel Und Gretyl- Uber Alles review is another article by the Lornester, he better like it, OR ELSE!!!!!!

Youngblood #1 by the man dating everyone's favorite site ruining whore, Doom.

And finally, a fair and balanced review of The Simpsons Game by yours truly, Lorenzo De Medici.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to play Lost: Via Domus and then
murder Doom with a salad spoon.

-Generalissimo Furioso

2008-01-27

Hey, hey kids! What time is it?! [kids in the audience shout] “IT'S UNCLE RAMMSPIELER TIME!” As much as I've grown to dislike children, they are still good for a few things. Amongst them is making novel entrances for updates even more novel. Anyway, it's been a while since I've had to write an update and it's a shame to see Doom being a glory hog and writing most of them. Leave some for the people, fucker!

You know that more or less it is that time of the year where we recap the worst films we've had the displeasure of reviewing. So in our attempt at making an awards show even more entertaining than the Razzies, here we present the 2006 Travolta Awards by Doom, Red Fox, Banner, Nixon and yours truly. Rest assured the 2007 one will come...eventually.

As always we have Mr. Steiber a.k.a. The Fanboy bitching about some random thing that has little or no consequence to real people in the real world. This time it's on why the man formerly known as Dizz's transformation into Lemansky makes him break out in hives or something. I hear that things are getting so bad for Andy that there are rumors of his eminent resignation. I'll kinda miss him but then again we already have several version of him to make things confusing, including Earth-Prime Fanboy a.k.a. Nerdlinger. But this version is the definitive one!

In what I take to be another comic book review because it is in Roundtable format, we have a review of The Four Horsemen by Doom, Banner, Black Goliath, The Fanboy and Dan Didio. Dan Didio would like our readers to know that failure to read this week's edition of Countdown will be met with his killing a DC staffer. Not that that would really affect anybody, but he threatened to kill me if I didn't make the announcement.

Who says that American remakes of Asian horror films died a quite death with the last one we reviewed in 2005? Apparently they are making a comeback of sorts, so Doom and Site Ruining Whore (hereafter referred to as “Malice”) decided to review the spearhead of this new onslaught, One Missed Call. Remakes of Asian horror are so mid 2000's!

Blog Moron of the week by Furioso and his Ginsbergian partner in crime, Nightcrawler.

Facebook by The Fanboy and Myspace by Nerdlinger.

Enjoy it fuckers.

-Rammspieler

2008-01-23

Greetings, Meatbags! Jedi Guardian on stand-by for the Daily Raider update.

Thought: I was contemplating when my meatbag master Doom was going to update this weakling website. Hesitation: Fine. I’ll explain the update:

John McCain by Doom

The TV show entitled Life is Wild by meatbag quartet of Doom, Red Fox, Furioso, and *GASP* Nixon

Martin Luther King Jr. was a cracker by that black power rabblerouser Josiah X

JLA: The New Frontier by Doom and the Red Fox

The Comebacks by Doom and Nixon

Sweeney Todd by Doom and Red Fox. Observation: Tim Burton’s sure like to make Johnny Depp more desperately emo.

Pulse Unrated by Doom and once again, Nixon.

Inquiry: How does my master like to collaborate with this Nixon so much?

-Jedi Guardian

Fuck Nerdlinger 2008-01-20

Yeah, now what, bitches? Nerdlinger’s finally doing the update. About damn time since I joined this site. So, what do we have on our plate for The Daily Raider today? First up is If I Did It 9/11 by OJ Simpson. Next up is Iran by Bill O’Reilly. Okay... I’m starting to see a pattern here, guys...

Then we have the Upchucks for 2006, by Doom, Jazz, Banner and Chuck Austen. Wait a minute...

Batman Forever by Doom, Jazz and Nerdlinger. Okay, this isn’t funny anymore, Doom. You’re reminding me of bad times...

Then our regular assortment of Facebook by yours truly and my Uncle (expect the usual Jewish conspiracies about), the momentous Myspace 75 with Doom and Rammspieler (and I couldn’t be part of this why?) and Blog by Ronin. Wait, Ronin? Ronin who?

Okay, guys. I get it now. I’m just one big joke to all of you, aren’t I? You just made me write this update to mock me, haven’t you Doom? HAVEN’T YOU?! FUCK YOU AND YOUR BATMAN NIPPLES!

-Nerdlinger

NERDDATE 2008-01-16

BEHOLD, FOR I AM NERDLINGER, KING OF THE MADISON DIVISION! And now that I have gained supreme power in the Daily Raider's offshoot branch, it's high time I start making more updates for this site without it being some practical joke on my behalf! Now then, on for today's list:

Blacksite Area 51 Review by Furioso. I remember that game when it looked good on the commercials. Surely, they make a great game look even better.

Speaking of things looking better, we have an article about eBay by Doom, where you never get what you pay for, so I've heard.

We then have two more articles by Doom, one a review of Onslaught Reborn #5 and second a review of War along with Furioso and Back Goliath. The first is some sort of comic book by Marvel and the second a movie. I hate Marvel comics and I wasn't there to see the movie, so I don't give a shit about either of them.

Along with shit I don't care about, there's a review of The Sarah Connor Chronicles by Nightcrawler. Perhaps now he'll stop bitching about getting his shit on the site when he's under my reign!

Bringing up the rear is a review of Fantastic Four Isla de la Muerte by Rammspierler and Furioso and another review of Yo Soy Boricua Pa' Que Tu Lo Sepas by Rammspieler. This angers me in two ways. First, these titles are in Spanish. Secondly, I understand what they mean.

And with that, my reign over the Madison division shall continue! Later, bitches!

-Nerdlinger

Update Without a Doom 2008-01-12

You read that right, folks. For once, there is an update to the Raider that features no involvement from me whatsoever. Except for writing this. First, there's Hulk #1 Review by Banner. Loeb is not something he cares for either. Jurassic writes a Southland Tales Review and it's more positive than you may initially believe. Nightcrawler's Team Fortress 2 Review will surely anger all you Team Fortress 2 maniacs out there, and by that I'm referring to Nerdlinger and Nerdlinger alone.

I'm also pleased to introduce to you a new writer, Ronin. His article, I Love the Drugs, certainly cements him as in the Raider tradition, don't you think?

Blog 2, Facebook 45, Myspace 74 by Furioso, Nerdlinger and Lemansky. Yes, Lemansky. That useless fuck does something for once!

-Doom

Heil Hizzle Mein Nizzle 2008-01-09

Sigh... I do not know what is even the point anymore. I'm a total failure. Eva doesn't want to see me these days, the Third Reich is a total bust...I should totally just kill meinself or something. But before that, here's some update for the Daily Raider.

Super Mario Galaxy Review by Doom is a review of a Super Mario game. I never got past level one. Sigh.

Game of the Year 2006 is more dated than my adoption of the swastika. But whatever, man.

Fallen Son Review and Ultimate Power Review are comic reviews by Doom.

Powerpuff Girls Z Review and Pokemon Battle Frontier Review are TV reviews by Doom and Jazz. Both articles began a year ago and were just completed now. At least they finished their work, unlike me...

Smallville: "Fierce" Review by Doom and Black Goliath. I'm too depressed to even get angry that the Daily Raider let a nigger out of his cage to write.

I, I, uh, need prozac or something. Really...

-Adolf Hitler

 Vic 2008-01-06

Hey, Vic. I ran down a few leads on Shane and nothing's come up. Guy's a goddamn ghost. Think he might already be in Mexico by now? What? You're not the Vic I know? Shit, I went into the Daily Raider by mistake. This ALWAYS happens when I go barhopping the previous night. Goddamnit. Oh well. I guess here's some stuff you readers should read.

Amazing Spider-Man #545 Review by Doom

Amazing Spider-Man #545 Review by the Fanboy

Countdown Arena Roundtable

Countdown Month 8 Roundtable

Girls Roundtable

Myspace and Facebook and Blog. The other Vic says that last one is a new resurrected feature for you to enjoy. And, personally, I recommend you don't eat before you read Facebook this week. Chick is ugly.

-Ronnie Gardocki

 New Jeers 2008-01-02

The first update of the new year! Wooooo...or something. I don't believe in that resolution crap, but I do promise the following things for this year: updates that actually occur on the day the date on the update indicates. I don't know when exactly we'll catch up, but it'll be soon. And by 'soon' I mean 'eventually'. The only rationale I can offer for the chronic lateness is, to quote Stan Lee, "bitches, man, bitches".

I'm too tired to think of one liners related to these articles, so just read the following:

Manhunt 2 Review by Doom

Transformers: Animated Review by Doom and the Red Fox

Power Rangers in Space: "Shell Shocked" Review by Doom, Generalissimo Furioso and Nerdlinger

Bratz Review by Doom and Nixon

Aliens vs. Predator 2 Review by Doom

Alvin and the Chipmunks Review by Doom, the Red Fox, Generalissimo Furioso, Nixon and Nerdlinger

Enchanted Review by Doom, the Red Fox, Generalissimo Furioso, Nixon and Nerdlinger

-Doom

I'm the you you are afraid to be 2007-12-30

McGee, McGee, McGee! McGee, McGee, McGee! That's the word on everybody's minds...literally. McGee's on the brain because McGee is in the brain. I know because Michael McGee is supposed to know. McGee is all seeing and all knowing in all the possible realities of McGeeism. So I will tell you about the Daily Raider's update. I already know what it is despite never being asked to write the update. The update is in McGee's mind, which means it's on your mind too.

The update for the Daily Raider starts with America's Next Top Model Review by Doom. Now this is just discrimination against those with McGee in their blood, because Tyra Banks has a sizable McGeeichlorian count. Do not discriminate McGee for being McGee.

Selling out my principles is next by Doom, and if he's selling out his principles it means he's a snitch, and Michael McGee tolerates snitches so little Michael McGee invented Stop Snitchin. Superbad is how McGee's plan to free himself will take place. McGee will resurrect James Brown and use the frequencies of the song "Superbad" to bend the physical and mental bars of the prison Michael McGee currently and physically occupies.

The Kingdom Review and The Brave One Review are also reviews by the Daily Raider staff. Why they don't review the truth that Michael McGee is the 7th day of creation remains to be seen or experienced by Michael McGee.

Myspace and Facebook. I would have those if not for my incarceration by the Jude cops who also assassinated Martin Luther King Sr. and Jr.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to murder Sharon Tate's chakra soul.

-Michael McGee

Die, Jesus, Die 2007-12-25

Fucking Christmas. Every year it gets worse. God. Speaking of which, you may notice I use 'God' and 'Jesus Christ' when it's totally bourge to invoke such religious imagery. Well, it's just that I hate Jesus Christ and God so fucking much. Why do I hate them (I like how I say 'them' as though these stupid concepts exist in real life)? Here's a partial explanation: I Hate Christmas.

Jedi has been away on vacation (literal vacation, as in Spain) for the past week or two. You may be wondering what makes this different from any other time for the sporadic Canadian-Mexican writer of ours. I don't really know. Anyway. He wrote an article about his place of employment, aka Wal-Mart. He hates it as much as we do.

Hot Rod Review by Doom and Nixon. Yes, this IS the two week return of Nixon. Expect a lot of shit from him for two weeks and then nothing else until the summer.

Rush Hour 3 Review by Doom, Nixon and Black Goliath. EVEN MORE NIXON. And some Black Goliath! Now that's what I call Ebony and Ivory.

Smallville: "Wrath" Review by Doom and Nixon. You know the drill.

Zeitgeist Review by Doom, Rammspieler and Nixon. It's that conspiracy documentary stoners love! I'm sure we'll treat it with the academic respect it so richly deserves.

Hey, I actually reviewed a Wii game. See? Mario Strikers Charged! Now the Nintendo section is slightly less out of date.

Next update'll be...sometime.

-Doom

Shane? Shaaane! 2007-12-23

Hello, loyal Raiderites! I have at last returned to my rightful position of writer! For those who weren't keeping up to date with all of the horrific goings on for me, I have written up a detailed report on this incident.

In addition, we have the usual Myspace by DOOM, but for Facebook, Stan Lee decided to kick me while I was down and have the subject be me. Asshole. If he weren't the creator of Marvel Comics.....

Anyway, we also have two roundtables up: Tales of the Sinestro Corps by DOOM, Banner, Black Goliath and Jurassic; and Search for Ray Palmer by DOOM, Banner, Nixon, Black Goliath and others.

But wait! There's more! DOOM has reviewed both I Am Legend and National Treasure 2. Both are films people attempted to get me to watch with them. Finally, it has come to pass that I am no longer going by my long time moniker of Dizz. Due to the recent incident (read the fucking report) and its parallels to Curtis Lemansky on The Shield, I have been re-named Lemansky. The name change doesn't really mean much, but it does mean DOOM gives me sandwiches all the time!

-Lemansky

Ha ha ha 2007-12-19

Greetings, Milwaukee! A white day to you. The Daily Raider, or as I call it, Bolshevik Jewish Scum Central, asked me to write one of their little 'updates'. I obliged just to show how much whiter I am than any of them.

Guys by Todd Howard. I don't like the sound of him. He sounds liberal.

Captain Carrot and the Final Ark Roundtable by Doom, Bruce Banner, Generalissimo Furioso, Black Goliath, the Fanboy, Dan Didio, En Esch, Dr. Strange, Dr. Reginald Teeth, O.J. Simpson, Penance, Ted Kennedy, Ronnie Gardocki, Doc Samson, Stan Lee, Ben Grimm When He Went Back In Time And Became Captain Blackbeard and Joe Quesada. Three words: too many niggers.

Charlie's Wild Ride by Charlie Sykes. I took a trip on the Milwaukee bus system and boy is my handgun wielding arm tired!

Why Do They Hate Us? by Concerned Citizen. I have the answer: because they're GENETICALLY INFERIOR CAVEMEN.

Knocked Up Review by Doom. Ugh, another liberal film about out of wedlock 'sex'. At least there's no abortion. They're probably saving it for the sequel, though.

The Batman: "Ring Toss" Review is also by Doom. I remember when Batman didn't look like a fucking gook production. Online gamer profiling? I always like the sound of profiling!

-Charlie Sykes

DON'T DO THAT!!! 2007-12-16

Hey. HEY. I saw you set your browser to www.dailyraider.com. DON'T. We can't be allies if you read that unadulterated filth. And if we can't be allies you're JUST AS BAD AS a REPUBLICAN. Actually, maybe you're WORSE. The Daily Raider hates liberalism and doesn't want to make smoking a punishable by death offense. THOSE BASTARDS.

So you SHOULDN'T read Facebook Idiot of the Week and Myspace Loser of the Week. They're by that NIHILIST Doom and that MISOGYNIST ANTI-SEMITE Nerdlinger. The Fly Review by Doctor Wankenstein encourages IRRESPONSIBLE DRUG USE, so don't read it either.

The Day After Tomorrow Review MOCKS the VERY IMPORTANT global warming movement.

Captain America #25 Review and Green Arrow/Black Canary...I don't know what I find morally resprehensible about them, but I sure do find them GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION.

Guys is the only good article, but you still shouldn't read it for solidarity purposes.

-The Liberal Fascist

The word of the day is: killing 2007-12-12

Good afternoon, DC Nation! Or should I say Reich afternoon! I'm taking a little time off from beating Geoff Johns to tell you about what the Daily Raider has to offer to you today. It's a doozy of an update, and I'm not just saying that because I own shares in them!

Bitches, man, bitches by Stan Lee: He may work for The Enemy, but I respect Mr. Lee and his opinions. He always knew what to do when a bitch stepped out.

The Art of Drinking 3: Quitting by Doom: Quitting? Aw, damn. I was going to invite Doom to a party at the DC beer hall! Oh well. More putsch planning for me!

Guys by Todd Howard: I'll be upfront - this guy is a total Judd Winick.

Vote George W. Bush in 2008 by Doom: I disagree with this article too. I think we should be voting Jackson Grimes for President. He's the candidate good enough for The Didio, so he's good enough for all of you! I SAID HE IS. ACCEPT IT.

KMFDM - Nihil Remastered Review by Elitist Self-Important Twat Douchebag: Hey, I didn't know Greg Rucka wrote for the Raider. ZING!!!!!!

The Golden Compass Review by Doom and Black Goliath: I wholeheartedly support this film because I hate God. The only religion fit for man is Didioism. Spread the word.

Red Dawn Review by Doom, Generalissimo Furioso and Black Goliath: Red Dawn reminds me of my days as a counter-revolutionary seeking to end the oppressive dictatorship of the Socialists who conquered the DC Nation. I killed at least 30 reds!

-Dan Didio

 Observations on Elements of Consumer Life 2007-12-09

What's the deal with the Daily Raider update schedule? This update is labeled 2007-12-08 but it's not 2007-12-08! What's up with that? Is Doom behind on updates and thus is shipping out updates late in the hopes of eventually catching up to the present? Also, you ever notice how Freakface gets a lot of mail? I'll show you! It's all in FREAKFACE MAILBAG, I'm telling you.

Ultimates 3 #1 Review and Countdown Month 7 Roundtable show the Daily Raider as writing a lot of comic book reviews. I question the motives behind that!

You ever notice Doom drinks a lot?

Another observation you may or may not be aware of: Charlie Sykes is a racist.

Finally, what's the deal with Facebook Idiot of the Week and Myspace Loser of the Week? They've been running for far more than 40 or 69 weeks! I want to know what the fucking deal is and I want to know it now. Why is Doom's girlfriend co-writing the Myspace Loser? HEY, MY QUESTION ISN'T FUCKING RHETORICAL. I EXPECT AN ANSWER.

-Jerry Seinfeld