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The Daily Raider is brought to you by the Project for an Unamerican Century
and the Ronnie Gardocki Beard Preservation Society. The Daily Raider accepts donations, but we will only use them for liquor,
cocaine and South American prostitutes.
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Consume for Vengeance 2008-08-24 |
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More hastily written trash
for you worthless wastoid burnouts who have nothing better to do with
their inevitably disappointing "lives" to read. My day was shitty and
it's going to get shittier until the disintegration of my mind as a
rational entity capable of making decisions and processing information.
If you believe this too negative or it's insulting towards your person,
go fuck yourself.
Here's the bullshit:
Eureka - Breaking news, SciFi
Channel produces a shitty TV show!!!
Guild Wars Review - This is a
video game review.
Too Human Review - A video
game again confirms my desire to not play fucking video games anymore.
High School Reunion -
Rammspieler recounts his version of the most useless event for one to
partake in besides religious services, the high school reunion. I hope
my high school reunion takes place in an abattoir.
Facebook Idiot 77 - The only
good thing to come of Georgia was Stalin.
Blog Moron 34 - wherein we
disparage a homosexual gamer for his apparent character flaws. It's a
hard argument to make that a Harry Potter earned the right to breathe in
oxygen. Carbon monoxide, though? Very easy.
YouTube Fuckhead 24 - created
not out of artistic integrity but desperation to fill space. It's
obviously a fucking classic.
I'm off to drink shitty
coffee and try to remind myself I used to have promise as a human being
before pissing it all away on self-indulgent substance abuse and
overinvestment of untrustworthy Little Eichmanns whose contributions to
"society" are outweighed by their intellectual penury and vampiric
sociopathy. Anyone thinking this is a veiled attack on themselves can
fuck off.
-Doom |
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Slaves 2008-08-17 |
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Two new wine reviews here and
here. I
don't have the problem, YOU have the problem.
Although the year's not yet
over, I think I saw the funniest horror movie of 2008. Check out my Mirrors Review. You'll agree with me once you finish reading it.
It's been a while since we checked in on our Nazi pals at
www.stormfront.org, so we cooked up this little article: Stormfront loves Ron Paul.
Sorry for ignoring you guys! Ron Paul '08!
YouTube, Facebook,
Blog. You know
the drill.
-Doom |
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Fourth Also Anniversary 2008-08-03 |
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[23:52] Generalissimo Furioso:
So, it's finally here, anniversary time. There's nothing all that
special about the anniversary of a website, especially one that I didn't
know would ever celebrate something as ancillary as an anniversary
[23:52] Generalissimo Furioso: Whatever, fuck all of you conceited
niggers with your sideways glances and cat-calls.
[23:53] Generalissimo Furioso: We have more Brand New Day, Month 7 to be
exact, because if we don't angry up on comics, we will on with liquor
and that causes DEATH.
[23:54] Kennedy: The Godhead leads us toward our glorious demise.
[23:54] Doom: Also an article about how comics have left me
disillusioned and maybe thinking I shouldn't read guys in tights
punching each other anymore.
[23:57] Jedi Guardian: I blame DC!
[23:57] Doom: Furioso and I reviewed Saving Grace, which is a
show with no explanation as to what it is and why the fuck it was made.
[23:58] Generalissimo Furioso: It involved Pedophilia and the Catholic
Church, HOW ORIGINAL.
[23:58] Generalissimo Furioso: Also, LEM WASN'T DEAD
[23:58] Generalissimo Furioso: BUT HE WISHES HE WERE
[23:58] Kennedy: I also wish he were dead.
[23:58] Jedi Guardian: All of us do.
[23:59] Doom: So how about those weekly features?
[00:00] Jedi Guardian: That would be swell.
[00:00] Generalissimo Furioso: We have another
Blog speil by Doom, I'm
sick of blogs but much like Kangaroo testicles, Doom can't get enough
[00:01] Doom: You shut the fuck up, you Moloid
[00:01] Generalissimo Furioso: Moloid?
[00:03] Doom: Mole Man's minions
[00:03] Doom: Jedi, introduce your two articles.
[00:03] Generalissimo Furioso: I thought they were called something else
[00:04] Doom: No.
[00:04] Jedi Guardian: give a minute.
[00:14] Jedi Guardian: It's a conglomeration of the saddest groups of
fucks on the planet...
[00:14] Jedi Guardian: circle jerking over someone who resembles the
female gnome from WoW.
[00:16] Doom: And the other one?
[00:17] Jedi Guardian: Michael71186....
[00:17] Jedi Guardian: Who is he?
[00:18] Doom: Some guy
[00:18] Jedi Guardian: Okay.
[00:18] Doom: And finally, Daily Raider Jump the Shark, wherein
we discuss when we started sucking.
-Doom |
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Suck my update 2008-07-13 |
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Yeah, here's some shit you
can read or not read since we do not yet live in a totalitarian society
wherein Raider reading is mandatory. It'll happen one day...the same
time this shit ever turns a profit. First is Myspace Loser Week
100: The End, which is exactly what it sounds like. No more Myspace. Shit was running on fumes for a while anyway. That means from now on only 7 articles on Sunday as opposed to the usual 8.
You'll have not as many articles to not read, folks!
100 Names for Generalissimo Furioso
and 100 Names for Nerdlinger: because if there's one thing to do on a friend's birthday, it's viciously insult them.
Flashpoint Review and Doom the Funky Alcoholic Wine Review: Charles Shaw Sauvignon Blanc
are unique because they cover subjects such as crappy programming no one
would possibly watch and an affirmation that I like getting drunk. Bet
you didn't know that before.
What would you say if I said
this week's was the best Facebook ever? Well, it doesn't matter, because
this is the most frivolous and what happens when a writer doesn't have
ideas. Behold,
Facebook Idiot Week 71: You Won't Believe You Just Read That!.
YouTube Fuckhead Week
18: IAmWasabi shows why fat people shouldn't be recorded.
Blog Moron Week 28 was originally about Perez Hilton but then I figured out showing Perez Hilton shit might have some of my beloved retarded 12 year old readers seizure like those Japanese kids.
Instead, some Republican asshole! Didn't see that coming, did you?
Update over. More later.
-Doom |
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I will never be young, I will never be loved 2008-07-09 |
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More writing things you
probably won't read because you'd rather be reading Digg or Something
Awful or some other example of new media detritus. Those of you stupid enough to hold onto this sinking ship, you're in luck, though.
You get to read shit by the three people who still continue to fucking
bother with this shit!
I came across the wonder of
seeing The Shield in syndication. Check out my
Edited Shield
article for more information.
Furioso and I wrote this Blinx 2 Review
for educational purposes. Now you'll know not to play anything involving
cats.
Two Hancock reviews, the latter of which is Josiah X's black resistence review of the motion picture starring lovable cartoon character Will Smith.
Since we hate you and comics
and Spider-Man, Amazing Spider-Man: Brand New Day Month 6 Roundtable.
Finally, two articles from
our features section by guest writers:
You can't spell death without 'death'
by the Sad Clown and
Seat belt Laws
by the Libertarian.
More later.
-Doom |
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More fucking jokes 2008-07-02 |
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Yes, indeed, this update is
more fucking jokes about shit we shouldn't really care about anymore. As
such, here's some fucking reviews of stupid comics published by comics
who stagnate the medium through devoting almost all resources to static
licensing characters whose exploits are required to stay within set
parameters befitting their existences as trademarks of negligible
artistic value. Here's one now, Peter Parker, informing you readers that Being friends with the Devil is awesome.
There are also reviews of Titans #3 and Hulk #4. Oh, who gives a shit anymore.
Here's another goddamn Fantastic Four TV show review, hopefully the last one.
The episode the article pertains to was written by Dan Slott, so expect
some sweeping generalizations about a man whose existence we judge based
on some white male power fantasies he wrote for a corporation in
exchange for money.
The Bill Engvall Show Review shows you don't need to be Jeff Foxworthy or Larry the Cable Installer to be an evil redneck.
Drink, drink, drink: Doom the Funky Alcoholic Wine Review: Foxhorn Chardonnay
More fucking white male power
fantasies, albeit in video game form: The Incredible Hulk (Wii) Review.
It contains one of the most tenuous guest appearance writing things
ever.
-Doom |
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