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Facebook Idiot of the Week
by Doom
Fuck Palestine!
Yes, fuck Palestine. You shouldn't be so surprised. The sentiment is fairly common, especially in America. Which, not coincidentally, is the biggest ally of Israel. But I'm not here to debate whether or not our support of Israel is good or not. I'm here to discuss the inanery going on in the untold Israeli/Palestinian war...the Internet war. The place where the disconnected from the real conflict come to trade blows and trifling Internet insults. The apex of this narcissistic chest pumping occurs on Facebook, which has frequently proved to be a more insidious creature than Rupert Murdoch's symposium of sound clips and whoredom, Myspace. Facebook contains college students - widely held as the whiniest and most passively-aggressively opposed to things of all the age groups. Their decadence underscores the idiotic points they cite in frivolous arguments. Add it to some callous myopia and you have "Delist Palestine from Facebook as a country!"
Search Method: I asked my magic 8-ball (made of cocaine) how to find the den of the hopeless. It pointed me to Facebook and my fingers did the searching. Seeing as how one of my political interests is the whole Middle East thing...searching for stupidity on that subject seemed the best avenue for destined mockery. A simple combination of keystrokes unleashed a horrible beast - a horribly hilarious beast.
Before I go into the muck of stupidity this group exudes, let me explain a few things about Facebook first. One of the many fields to fill in order to fully describe yourself to the sentient Facebook overlords is location, as apparently people outside of the United States have fallen to our social networking (a new kind of globalization! Only MORE self-centered!). The software allows for any real country to be put in...including PALESTINE (yet not Chechnya...they have a few years to go before people start pretending to care about them, I guess). Therein lies the bone of contention. Officially, Palestine does not count as a state, thanks to Israel's military might and craftsman top of the line steel cages. Unofficially, anyone who is proud of there being no Palestine state is a fucking moron.
PALE...STINE? SOUNDS LAHKE A SPINOFF OF RAMMSTEIN, YANOW WHAT AH MEAN? WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!
The above image partly explains why the group believes Palestine should no longer be considered a state on Facebook. Really, what the FUCK. Do pro-Israel wring their hands regularly on Facebook, thinking "Oh, the awful Palestinians think they're a country on here! What to do, what to do!" Why even bother? All it does is piss off Palestinians, who have already been pissed on by life already, so what good does it do to force them to put "Israel" as their country? I suppose the counter to the line of questioning the picture lays out is "Where was Israel before 1948?" The likely answer: "Fuck you, you fucking Arab anti-Semite sandnigger! GO BACK IN YOUR CAGE, MOTHERFUCKER!" For fuck's sake, man, the Palestinians were placed in concentration camps in order to accommodate the Jewish emigration to the new state of Israel! Talk about your hilarious twists of fate and ironic non-justice. Didn't the global community say something about territory gained in war being non-rightfully gained territory? FUCK THE UNITED NATIONS AND THEIR PUSSY RESOLUTIONS. WE WON IT OFF THOSE NIGGERS FAIR AND SQUARE...AND WITH BACKING BY SEVERAL MORE POWERFUL COUNTRIES.
Let's think about why someone would join this group. Temporary loss of sanity? Maybe. Pigheaded hatred of logic and reason? Certainly. A desire to be a part of the most useless group possible? Without a doubt, if you consider Facebook's population just fuckin' loves being pointless and meandering fools. What could someone possibly gain by entering into this cycle of pointless hatred and bigotry? I really don't know, and I'm usually a guy with answers on even the most idiotic of our idiotsyncrasies. At least it gives a little bit of balance to the Internet hate groups. So many of them despise Jews, so it's nice to see one composed of Jewish supporters who also support blindly hating someone of a lower socioeconomic level. Racism: not just for crackers anymore!
Whew. Dodged a bullet there. For a second I thought I might need to debate intelligent, reasonable people, and not goofy idiots (Josh Abrams looks like a Fred Willard character gone horribly wrong). Thank Yahweh for the Greater Facebook Rule of Unintelligent Troglodytes!
The group further deserves scorn due to the members it proudly claims. Not surprisingly, a lot of members are Jewish or Israeli or neoconus douchebagus (aka the 'I'm not an anti-Semite, look at how many Jewish friends I have!' contingent of the Bush supporters). See, a lot of nice fine Jewish people suddenly go crazy once you bring up the hot button topic of Israel/Palestine, and sometimes they'll turn into "Nuke the fuckers" type conservatives. But only on the Palestine question! Disturbing to say the least. One funny thing is the group used to say "Although many of our members have these views, this community is not racist against Palestinians and such racism will not be tolerated", or something else to that effect. The very equivalent to the rich white man's "We don't hate black people, we just don't think niggers should be in our country clubs", only even funnier.
The maintainers of the group disabled both the message board feature and the Wall feature. Gee, I wonder why. Maybe because, like everything else related to Israel and Palestine, it would devolve into heated flamefests of everyone accusing each of racism. And then the Jewish members putting the Arabic members behind a wall of sorts. Wuh woh! Due to these measures, it makes my job much harder. How am I supposed to properly mock these idiots if I cannot read any of their thoughts on the matter? I'll just have to guess at their horribly tangled logic, I suppose. That's not as fun, dammit. Okay. Soldier on no matter what. "If the Palestinians want independence, maybe those savages shouldn't blow up innocent children!" "We have a country and you don't, neener-neener-neener!" "We need to find a long term solution - a final one, if you will - to the Palestinian question." "FUCKING PALESTINOFASCISTS" Ah, comedy.
Adding a bit of comedic irony, another brainless group dedicated to delisting a country exists: "Delist Israel from Facebook as a country!" Somewhere Jimmy Carter is crying. CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? Whereas the Palestine one boasts 5,000+, Israel has a mere 3,000+. One wonders why so many stupid people decide to join even more stupid groups. A matter of "I don't have anything to do with my life today, better fill up on some frivolity!", perhaps? The "Don't delist Palestine from Facebook as a country" outpaces both with more than 10,000 members. If we view these groups as a microcosm for society, then the overwhelming number of college retards either want Palestine to be a real country, Israel to cede its territory won in war or for both to cease to exist because the whole conflict is too confusing and takes away from brain cells dedicated to beer pong, man. Whoa, shit, I think an episode of Robot Chicken is on. Be back later, dudemeisters.
Average Group Member's Cause of Death:
100:1 - Killed by actual Palestinian
50:1 - US cuts off aid to Israel, Egypt unleashes death hordes
9:1 - Shallows too much Dershowitz cum; chokes to death
7:1 - Israel nukes the entire Middle East just to prove they could
6:1 - Mutually Assured Stupid Facebook Group Destruction
5:1 - United States nukes Israel after systematically eliminating all Arabs
from the face of the Earth
3:1 - Foreskin proven to cure all known diseases
2:1 - Killer bees!
1:1 - Exhausted to death from killing Palestinians
"Delist Palestine from Facebook as a country!" group is...the Ariel Sharon of dictators (too easy), "Delist Palestine from Facebook as a country!" group is...the Not-Flanders of Family Guy characters (Jewish), "Delist Palestine from Facebook as a country!" group is...the [insert IDF retaliation of choice] of slaughters (too easy), "Delist Palestine from Facebook as a country!" group is...the Natalie Portman of whores (Jewish) and finally, "Delist Palestine from Facebook as a country!" group is...the George Steinbrenner of baseball owners (SECRETLY CONTROLS THE WORLD).
View previous Facebook Idiots of the Week:
Week 1: Deric Hope
Week 2: Amy Rymaszewski
Week 3: Kris Allen
Week 4: Steph Warsh
Week 5: David Adams
Week 6: Adam Butler
Week 7: Peter Szlachetka
Week 8: Jordan Powell
Week 9: The Truth about the Civil
War
Week 10: Craig Higgins
Week 11: Chris Bell
Week 12: Randall Adams