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Facebook Idiot of the Week

by the Liberal Fascist

Achtung! On Facebook, many people start groups based on common interests, which is totally cool and fine by me. But there lies a dark undercurrent of this feature, as it allows people to make communities that I personally disapprove of (which are therefore wrong, evil and heinous). How DARE someone support something I do not support or live up to my specific standards. Unfortunately, people on Facebook fail in this regard all the time, especially when congregating in Facebook groups, which brings me to the group I dedicate this 'Facebook Idiot of the Week' to: "I'm voting for Ralph Nader!". This is by far one of the biggest affronts to my sensibilities (and by proxy the sensibilities of all real Americans) I've ever seen. I'm clutching at my monocle and pearls RIGHT NOW just visualizing what this group means to the country. It sickens me. SICKENS. Seriously, if you can manage reading through this filth without throwing up, you're of a stronger constitution than I.

The "I'm voting for Ralph Nader!" group: History's greatest monster

AND YOU'RE GOING TO LET GIULIANI OR SATAN WIN THE PRESIDENCY LIKE USUAL.

Yes, a group such as this really DOES exist, despite there being NO reason for it to exist. Leave it to Facebook to destroy my free speech right to impede the free speech rights of others. This is why I really hate what the right wing RETHUGLICANS have done to this once great country of ours. Back in the 90s, people did whatever they wanted, so long as it was at done at a co-op or another non-smoking area of the city. But now, thanks to Bush's fascist coup, this hate speech and unAmerican garbage is all over the Internet. HOW DARE people express opinions I don't agree with! What kind of country are we living in now, Nazi Germany? If I wanted fascism, I'd go to China!

But I guess I should explain to you unenlightened folk (aka people who DON'T support the Hillary Clinton/Barack Obama Presidential ticket) why I disagree so profusely with this discussion group's existence. My reasoning is simple: Ralph Nader is most totally a sellout, as are the people who vote for him and support him. Why do I say that? He's by far the biggest reason we're in the trouble we're in. He's a third party candidate and third party candidates are the DEVIL. What they do is split the vote from the Democratic Party and the Republican Party while still not making enough of a difference to gain representation in Congress. This means people who would normally vote for the Democrats vote for him, leaving the Republicans the majority of the votes, even though Bush still had less votes than Gore when Nader was accused of stealing the election and giving it to Bush. But I don't care! In my opinion, Nader is JUST as responsible as Bush for everything that's happened this decade. Everything.

Why would ANYONE want to vote for Ralph Nader? He's the very reason why we've had George W. SUCK for the last 7 years! The Iraq War? Nader. The increase of free trade and globalization? Obviously Bush did it with the help of Ralph Nader. Hell, I bet he even helped Bush respond to the horrible terrorist attack of 9/11. According to my research, the Green Party may in fact be funded by the Republican Party, meaning all of you liberals who think voting for the Democrats' pro-free trade, pro-war, pro-capitalist policies is 'uncool', you're really just voting for the Republicans! That's how democracy works. If you're not voting for us, you're voting for the enemy. I don't like to consider people enemies, but the Green Party is just as bad as the Republicans in my opinion.

Look, if we allow everyone to do anything they want, such as voting for ANY candidate...it'd be, like, anarchy, or something worse, man. People could do whatever they want! That may seem cool in theory, but you have to remember how much the Rethuglicans hate people doing certain things. So what would happen is the Republicans would force everyone to do what they wanted. In short, anarchy is basically what we have now. Is it SO hard to choose from TWO candidates instead of multiple candidates? I mean, come on, it's still democracy. Just with a few less choices. But you'd only vote for the Democrats anyway, because the Republicans want to DESTROY THE COUNTRY. PICK THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS, GODDAMNIT!

On the upside, not many people have joined the group, thank God. Only 317 people thus far consider themselves members of this HATE GROUP (yes, I'm calling it a hate group because it's just as bad, if not worse, than groups like the KKK and the Neo-Nazis, as I'm sure all of you will agree). They seem to be the type of people who'd like Ralph Nader's 'message': hippies, the unemployed, idealists, leftists, the same old same old. The type of people who scoff at a Hillary Clinton speech yet think Dennis Kucinich is a genius (racists). In fact, I don't see any African-Americans or women in the group. Not as though it's something unexpected, seeing as how his constituents are dirty hippies, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

You should definitely NEVER vote for Ralph Nader or any other third party candidate, for I GREATLY disapprove of such an action. GREATLY. Ralph Nader is never going to win! It's hopeless! Give in. Vote for the Democrats. They're not so bad. Sure, they supported Iraq, and free trade, and all the other things I hate, but they have a chance of winning! Voting for someone who can never win hurts my self-esteem, and it lets people like George W. THUG free reign to DESTROY this country. Maybe Hitler wouldn't have been elected if people didn't vote for far-left candidates like Wilhelm Nader and Horst McGovern. Not saying anything specific, but just think about. We too could've stopped Hitler II from taking office if not for Ralph Nader, man. It's ALL his fault. And, like, the people who support him are no better than the guys who put the Jews in the gas chambers. Right, man? NAZIS.

View previous Facebook Idiots of the Week:
Week 1: Deric Hope
Week 2: Amy Rymaszewski
Week 3: Kris Allen
Week 4: Steph Warsh
Week 5: David Adams
Week 6: Adam Butler
Week 7: Peter Szlachetka
Week 8: Jordan Powell
Week 9: The Truth about the Civil War
Week 10: Craig Higgins
Week 11: Chris Bell
Week 12: Randall Adams
Week 13: Delist Palestine from Facebook as a country!
Week 14: Facebook
Week 15: Tyler J. Kristopeit
Week 16: Remember Captain America!
Week 17: All our prayers are going out to Virginia Tech