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The Daily Raider is brought to you by the Project for an Unamerican Century and the Ronnie Gardocki Beard Preservation Society. The Daily Raider accepts donations, but we will only use them for liquor, cocaine and South American prostitutes.
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Marilyn Manson - Antichrist Superstar Review |
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Marilyn Manson - Antichrist Superstar Review by: The Fanboy 1996-09-03 The biggest problem is the false advertising. On Antichrist Superstar there are 99 tracks. Oh, you think there are 99 songs, right? Wrong. There aren't. Instead, it's a disingenuous tactic meant to make us all look like idiots. There's actually 16 tracks and 17-98 are blank, with #99 being this thing under 2 minutes. As a purist I did not fastforward through the silence at all, I dutifully listened to all of it, waiting for the payoff. The payoff sucks. |
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Nine Inch Nails Lights in the Sky 2008 Tour Review |
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Nine Inch Nails Lights in the Sky 2008 Tour Review by: Doom 2008-08-06 I left during the second half of Deerhunter's set, not because it was bad, but because I sought some nourishment. Some very fucking expensive nourishment. And I didn't want to have to miss any of Nine Inch Nails while trying to procure said nourishment. I had decided earlier in the day to end my Cal Ripken Jr.-esque alcohol streak of somewhere between 14 to 18 days (hey, by my standards it's Cal Ripken Jr.-esque), but once I remembered I could buy liquor at the event I could not resist. All I had was $40 Canadian and it was all used up for purposes of drinking. |
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Daily Raider News: J Dilla Still Dead |
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Daily Raider News: J Dilla Still Dead by: Doom 2008-07-16 Many simply refuse to accept that he is dead and still look forward to new material released by him despite it now consisting of the same old beats over and over again, with different people rapping over them because "that's what Dilla would've wanted". They refuse to look at the evidence of the situation, instead wishing to remain ignorant of facts such as "J Dilla's death" and "J Dilla's death". The evidence justifying declaring J Dilla dead are voluminous, experts say. |
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Mindless Self Indulgence/The Birthday Massacre Concert |
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Mindless Self Indulgence/The Birthday Massacre Concert by: Doom 2008-06-18 This being a concert of popular bands (among the subculture) MSI and TBM, the pussy was an interesting intersection of emo and juggalo. The Birthday Massacre tends to draw in the younger, Gothy but not too Gothy girls, whereas Mindless Self Indulgence gets the types which merit a Hank Hill "Buahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!". I'm not saying the entire concert was uglos, but there was a definite group of uglos you could pinpoint at any given time during the show. |
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Jagermeister Music Tour 2008 |
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by: Doom and Adam Breihan 2008-06-18 Let's get one thing straight before I begin to recount: I only supported Jagermeister (yeah, Jagermeister. I'm not typing the goddamn 'ä' several times; fuck the Germans.) with my money because of Type O Negative, one of my favorite bands, being on the bill. Otherwise I would not spent $30 on a ticket for a tour dedicated to increasing brand awareness for a mediocre liquor which is featured in college dorms and college student shithole apartments across this disgusting country. |
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Scarlett Johansson - Anywhere I Lay My Head Review |
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Scarlett Johansson - Anywhere I Lay My Head Review by: Doom 2008-05-25 I'd prefer she lay her MOUTH on my DICK. Am I right, folks?! |
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Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero Review |
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Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero Review by: John McCain 2008-05-21 From a few lines of lyrics I did hear, Trent Reznor seems like a very bright and very patriotic man who will certainly go far in life if he applies himself and stops with the whole hippie 'music' scene. Music was never my bag as a child. I preferred watching the weekly nickelodeon. My favorite was "Frank Fastball, Oriental Killer" about a baseball pitch who is drafted into the DOA - the Department of Oriental Affairs. There he's outfitted with space age 1930 technology and given a mission to rid this entire country of Asian spies. |
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Ministry C-U-Latour 2008 Concert Review |
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Ministry C-U-Latour 2008 Concert Review by: Doom and the Fanboy 2008-05-14 The saddest thing out of everything at the House of Blues can be summed up in this little nugget of information: a Latino bathroom attendant tells me who showed up last night. Not someone useful, talented or funny. Not someone physically attractive. Jim Belushi. Yeah, that Jim Belushi. You know your venue is in need of some assistance when you look to Jim fucking Belushi, the asshole of Blues Brothers 2000 and According to Jim, as a beacon of talent and celebrity and human worth. |
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Juno Soundtrack Review |
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by: Doom 2008-05-14 The music is threadbare and the lyrics are worse. I've noticed there's not a lot of difference between indie music and just minimalist, simplistic bullshit idiot teenagers make. Maybe that's because there's no difference between indie music and minimalist, simplistic bullshit idiot teenagers make. In fact, indie music is populated with minimalist, simplistic bullshit idiot teenagers who aged a few years and wasted a lot of their lives in indie record shops and Starbucks (or, if they're really indie, some bullshit local equivalent which is totally less corporate and profit-driven than South American murdering Starbucks). |
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Exploiting China the Martin Atkins Way |
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Exploiting China the Martin Atkins Way by: Martin Atkins 2008-05-04 When you think of industrial music, countries such as America, Britain, Germany, Belgium come to mind. It's a real Eurocentric scene, yeah. Thus, a lot of fans come in with certain expectations, thinking only certain countries can produce great or existing industrial music. Well, that's close minded. Asia has tons of potential when it comes to making industrial music. I mean, China on its own has like a billion people, nearly as many people as there are in Pigface at any given time. You could start thousands of bands with the population of China and not pay them squat because they don't know they're supposed to receive good wages. |
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Common - Finding Forever Review |
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Common - Finding Forever Review by: Josiah X 2008-03-26 Sides his shitty attempt at pretending he's black, Common treadin' familiar territory with this shit. Love songs, social inequality, guest appearances by white industry (Brit bitch Lily Allen...least LADY SOVEREIGN woulda known how to spit grime. Shit, that 14 year old 4 foot tall chipmunk blacker than Common.) and shitty observations by a shitty rapper. His flow alright...if you're a motherfucker who thinks violence is a problem and backpacker, Whitey-appeasing assholes like Common aren't problems. |
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KMFDM - Agogo Remastered Review |
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KMFDM - Agogo Remastered Review by: The Fanboy 2008-03-26 I have to say, out of all the rereleased, remastered crap Sascha KKK.'s shoveled out over the past three years, Agogo takes the cake, more so than sample-less Naive or the absolutely nonexistent Hell to Go rerelease. Why? Why is Agogo so bad? |
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KMFDM - Xtort Remastered Review |
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KMFDM - Xtort Remastered Review by: Pigface 2008-02-27 Nivek Ogre: Xtort has many contributors to it, from Chris Connelly to Nicole Blackman to Jon Van Eaton to Bill Rieflin to J.R. Blackmail to even F.M. Einheit. I would consider that an all-star lineup, wouldn't you, En Esch? En Esch: I do not consider that to be an all-star lineup, no. Nivek Ogre: Why don't you? En Esch: Because I am not on there! |
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Soulja Boy - souljaboytellem.com Review |
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Soulja Boy - souljaboytellem.com Review by: Doom and Commando 2008-02-27 What're we gonna do today, Mr. Collipark? We're gonna destroy the world, Soulja Boy. |
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Marilyn Manson Rape of the World Tour 2008 Concert Review |
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Marilyn Manson Rape of the World Tour 2008 Concert Review by: Doom and the Fanboy 2008-02-14 It's a funny thing. When I ordered the ticket several months ago, I did it mostly because I like Tim Skold and wanted an opportunity to see him in concert. Flash forward to January 2008, when I read Twiggy has rejoined Marilyn Manson and Tim Skold left for that reason. (Apparently Manson thought Twiggy and Skold on the stage simultaneously would be too weird. Uh, Skold plays guitar and Twiggy plays bass, dude.) "FUCK!" I said out loud as I read it. My reason for spending $40 - gone! |
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Don't Blow Your Cover: A Tribute to KMFDM Review |
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Don't Blow Your Cover: A Tribute to KMFDM Review by: En Esch and Guenter Schulz 2008-02-10 En Esch: I may have starred in pornography for Pigface, but it was a one time thing, and I felt very ashamed after doing so. Ashamed and naked and abused. Guenter Schulz: That's not the subject anymore. The subject is Die Krupps' version of "Power". En Esch: Oh, right! I hate it. |
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Hanzel und Gretyl - Uber Alles Review |
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Hanzel und Gretyl - Uber Alles Review by: Lorne Michaels 2008-01-30 Be forewarned, however: almost all of the lyrics are in German so if you do not know German you will be unable to understand the glorious refrains bestowed upon the Third Reich. Of course, if you are a TRUE Aryan you should already know the language of Hitler, of Himmler, of Goebbels, of Nietzsche, of Rammstein. Anything less is the miscegenation loving house whites bred by the United States of Jewmerica. |
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PIG - Pigmata Review |
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by: The Fanboy 2008-01-30 Everything sounds so much worse when it's released under PIG and not under Watts. I don't know, maybe it's just my perception, but I hate "Junky" and "Kundalini" and "Suck Spit Shit" a lot more when I see them as "PIG - [track]" instead of "Watts - [track]" on my mp3 player. It's not the same with them as PIG songs. |
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KMFDM - Nihil Remastered Review |
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KMFDM - Nihil Remastered Review by: Elitist Self-Important Twat Douchebag 2007-12-12 The rest of the album is what you would expect if you expected some mainstream Nine Inch Nails Ministry Marilyn Manson garbage from KMFDM. "Flesh", "Brute", "Terror", "Search & Destroy" and so on barely feature En Esch or other classic obscure starving artist members of KMFDM and instead almost completely play to the whims of Sascha and Watts. I guess they wanted to sell out more than the real KMFDM did! |
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U-God - Golden Arms Redemption Review |
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U-God - Golden Arms Redemption Review by: Doom and Black Goliath 2007-12-02 It's not up for debate whether Golden Arms Redemption is the worst album ever made. Rather, the debate centers around how Golden Arms Redemption is the worst album ever made. The public has a right to know how the Wu-Tang Clan spawned an original member who in turn spawned the worst album to exist not only in the history of rap, but also in the history of music. |
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will.i.am - Songs About Girls Review |
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will.i.am - Songs About Girls Review by: Bruce Banner/David Banner 2007-11-25 I like how he poses in the same manner of a Nazi accused of crimes against humanity who is awaiting trial and must have his photo taken before criminal proceedings. "My Humps" does correlate nicely to the atrocities undertaken at Auschwiz and Dakau. |
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Jay-Z - American Gangster Review |
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Jay-Z - American Gangster Review by: Black Goliath 2007-11-18 Kingdom Come was mediocre and very disappointing, especially since it was his comeback album. Now he tries to fix the mistake with American Gangster, the album inspired by the recent movie. Oh shit. Will this be a stinker as most film soundtracks are prone to be? Or will he be able to salvage what's left of his reputation? |
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KMFDM - Tohuvabohu Review |
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by: En Esch and Guenter Schulz 2007-10-31 En Esch: KMDFM is just being mean now, by putting their 'fan phone' on this opening track. They know Slick Idiot doesn't have a regular phone and they want to rub it in our faces. Low move, Konietzko. Too bad your song is not at all improved by your use of this rich man phone, for it is still repetitive, self-referencing crap. You would never see Slick Idiot do such idiotic pandering! Never, never, never! The saxophone is also a horrible touch. |
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Queens of the Stone Age 2007 Concert Review |
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Queens of the Stone Age Duluth Tour 2007 Concert Review by: Doom 2007-10-31 I like the drugs and the drugs like me. |
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Type O Negative 2007 Concert Review |
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Type O Negative Halloween Tour 2007 Concert Review by: Doom 2007-10-28 Yes, I suck. It's been hard for me to admit this, but with the help of my spiritual advisor, my family and friends, and the guy who hocks OxyClean on basic cable (until my mind realizes OxyClean is not OxyContin), I have recognized this difficult to recognize truth. How does this relate to the Type O Negative I attended a mere few days ago? I'm getting to it. See, it was at Type O Negative's concert that I hit rock bottom. That I realized I sucked. Why this realization happened will be divulged in the rest of this article. |
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Radiohead is destroying capitalism! |
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Radiohead is destroying capitalism! by: The Libertarian 2007-10-03 See, supply and demand has worked since the beginning of time. The market demanded dinosaurs, so dinosaurs flourished. The market demanded evolved mammals capable of high social interaction, so the dinosaurs went extinct. It's worked since the beginning of time, and I don't see how it will ever stop unless statist revolutionaries consciously try to destroy the great equilibrium created by the economy. Why would you want to change something universally beneficial to all, except the poor and middle class, but we all know they don't count so, again, why? |
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Ministry - The Last Sucker Review |
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Ministry - The Last Sucker Review by: The Fanboy 2007-09-30 Why can't Ministry go back to being apolitical like they used to be in the 1990s? Ministry never used to be fervent Bush bashers. I remember loving Psalm 69 for its speed metal riffs and its total lack of political opinions expressed. "N.W.O." had no message behind it, I'm telling you! Then Filth Pig went and ruined it by turning it into a Bash America fest. |
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Why Rammstein are the Bishiest Non-Japanese Band in the World |
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Why Rammstein are the Bishiest Non-Japanese Band in the World by: The Fangirl 2007-09-15 TILLIE!!!!! *gushes like a schoolgirl* Till Lindemann. If there was a human representation of the act of sex, then Till Lindemann is sex incarnate! What is there not to love about him? He's rugged yet cuddly like a teddy bear, he has this deep and sexy growl. But above all that, he's a tortured intellectual that I can connect with through his deep lyrics and his poetry. Sometimes it makes me wish that I were dead so he can have sex with my corpse! What more can I say?!?!?1? XP |
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Atreyu - The Curse Review |
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by: Dizz 2007-09-12 Yeah yeah, another fucking hardcore review by me. I know what you're all thinking, "Does Dizz actually listen to stuff other than all this screaming and crazy guitar stuff?" Yes I do, but most of it has been reviewed already or I have a collaboration in the works for it. Still, sometimes you come across a band that sounds badass beyond all belief and then you start looking at the lyrics you are absolutely amazed by the incredible amounts of emo bullshit in it. Such is the case of Atreyu. |
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Iced Earth - The Glorious Burden Review |
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Iced Earth - The Glorious Burden Review by: Bill O'Reilly 2007-09-12 Why is The Glorious Burden my favorite? Because The Glorious Burden is a concept album about WAR and how the United States wins all wars, even unjustified ones like the Civil War (the Confederacy had a reason to secede, Mr. Lincoln. Don't let politics get in the way of what's right - the ability for states to choose their own negro policies.). Topics range from Valley Forge, Gettysburg, Waterloo (not an American victory in practice, but an American victory in spirit), among others. |
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Rock the Bells Chicago 2007 |
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by: Doom 2007-09-11 U-God's in it! |
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Combichrist 2007 Concert Review |
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Combichrist What The F**k is Wrong With This Tour? 2007 Concert Review by: Doom 2007-09-09 The romanticized vision of moshing involves attractive people, mostly women, moving in ways in which stimulate the sex drive. But the realistic version, well, it's a lot of sweaty, large men unaware of their own stature and how it impacts the others around them. |
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KMFDM - Tohuvabohu Review |
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by: The Fanboy 2007-09-04 Sascha Konietzko, this guy, this guy's just pissing, just pissing all over us! And we just smile, and lick it up? SASCHA KONIETZKO KILLS BANDS! HE RERELEASES NAIVE WITHOUT THE ILLEGAL SAMPLE! HE BEATS UP DEVOTED INTERNET FANS BECAUSE THEY BOOTLEG MATERIAL AND SELL IT! You know what he did yesterday? He screwed over my PIG bootlegs auction on eBay, with the SOLE purpose of making this seem like a personal vendetta! |
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Emigrate - Emigrate Review |
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by: The Fanboy 2007-09-04 So what does Skoldness mean in the literal sense? It means misplaced emotion, whininess and an uncanny ability to completely ruin any band forever and ever (see: KMFDM, Marilyn Manson, Shotgun Messiah, ohGr, MDFMK, Skold). Therefore, given Emigrate's complete Skoldness, Richard retroactively ruined the entirety of Rammstein's oeuvre. Gee, thanks a lot, Richard. Now I can't listen to Herzeleid or Sehnsucht anymore! |
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Watts - Pigmartyr Review |
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by: En Esch and Guenter Schulz 2007-08-21 En Esch: Hello and good news, Slick Idiot fans! Guenter and I decided to put aside our differences when he realized the world still needed Slick Idiot (also, it's hard to rent a box on our individual salaries). Also, today, when looking for the remote, Guenter found a dime underneath one of the Slick Idiot couch's cushions! This increases the profits of Slick Idiot from -$10,000.00 to -$9,999.90. A few more of these and we might only be in debt for the rest of our physical lives. |
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Living Sacrifice - Reborn Review |
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Living Sacrifice - Reborn Review by: Dizz 2007-08-07 Wow, how incredibly….stupid and supposedly uplifting. That's not what Hardcore is all about. It's about walking on water, summoning the devil, or having a bunch of evil spirits go apeshit because you messed up their Indian burial ground if it's not spouting leftist politics. How that can possibly be confused with “invisible guy in the sky who will unleash terrible vengeance on you if you piss him off, but is your best friend if you hate fags” I have absolutely no idea, but apparently some big shot thinks it's great. |
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En Esch's Rammstein |
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by: En Esch 2007-07-19 What Rammstein has lacked in their last couple albums is the dance style employed to such great success in Herzeleid and Sehnsucht. That is why, were I in charge of Rammstein's overall direction, I would make it move back to the dance direction, also known as the Slick Idiot direction. Slick Idiot got successful by doing dance techno type industrial, and for Rammstein to become even MORE successful it must do the same. |
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KMFDM - "Looking for Strange" Mini-Review |
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KMFDM - "Looking for Strange" Mini-Review by: En Esch and Guenter Schulz 2007-07-19 En Esch: Guenter, why don't we have girlfriends? Guenter Schulz: It's hard to take a girl back to a cardboard box and have her still respect you. En Esch: Ah, yes. |
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Transformers: The Album Review |
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Transformers: The Album Review by: Doom 2007-07-15 Wait, shit. I forgot! One track does appear to actually be inspired by, and not 'written before', Transformers: The Explosion. The Goo Goo Dolls (of the "Hey, remember how much the Goo Goo Dolls sucked?" strain of conversation) contribute the treacley and audibly awe-inspiring (awe-inspiring in the way Milli Vanilli's lip synching or the Ramstein air show disaster were awe-inspiring) "Before It's Too Late (Sam and Mikaela's Theme)". It sounds exactly like you think it would sound: shitty and faggy. |
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Marilyn Manson - Eat Me, Drink Me Review |
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Marilyn Manson - Eat Me, Drink Me Review by: Doom 2007-07-11 Despite really hating Manson the person, I've liked most of Manson's albums, Golden Age of Grotesque (it has Skold and sounds similar to Skold-era KMFDM) and Antichrist Superstar (back when the more talented Trent Reznor 'showran' the production) in particular. My anticipation for Eat Me, Drink Me, Manson's latest, has been quite large; not so much due to high expectations for Manson to create a masterpiece, but more because it's the only place to hear new Skold music. In spite of the Skoldtacularity of Eat Me, Drink Me, I'm still torn on how I feel about the disc. |
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KMFDM - Angst Remastered Review |
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KMFDM - Angst Remastered Review by: Bill O'Reilly 2007-06-02 To ensure the safety of your kids, you can buy KMFDM repellant for $300 at my Factor Gear store. Supplies are limited to 1 million, so buy buy buy as fast as you can. FASTER! FASTER!! FASTER!!!!!!! |
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Nas - Hip Hop is Dead Review |
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by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2007-06-01 Maybe if someone tells that to 50 Cent, he might kill himself or turn back to drug dealing. |
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Linkin Park - Minutes to Midnight Review |
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Linkin Park - Minutes to Midnight Review by: Doom 2007-05-13 "Leave Out All The Rest" - sounds aggro mixed with a shitty Sevendust ripoff. Pass. Oh, and influences from System of a Down. Terrible. Bad samples galore in "Bleed It Out". And bad rap from Fort Minor. Awful. Bilge. CHIIIIIILD POISON!!!! "Shadow of the Day" waa waa dad beat me I hate him even though I thanked him in the liner notes. |
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Fall Out Boy - Take This To Your Grave Review |
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Fall Out Boy - Take This To Your Grave Review by: Dizz 2007-04-28 "Saturday": "Hey, guys let's make another song about how our lives are miserable and how it's so hard to be alive." That must have been the way this song had been pitched, because as with all of the other songs, the meaning is glaringly obvious, and ridiculously simplistic. Maybe the fact that I've listened to music with actual metaphors and such in it, and intelligent ambiguity that I see through this easily, because apparently people often praise how great and deep the lyrics are. |
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Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood Review |
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Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood Review by: Josiah X 2007-04-17 Rock music in particular was co-opted by white culture. We all know the REAL Beatles were three black men from southern Louisiana, and Ringo Starr, and they wrote songs like "I Wanna Kill You, Cracker", "Murder Drive" and "A Hard Day's Revoltin'". In the present day they've completely taken rock music from black people, so they now have a new target for cultural theft: rap. |
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Mos Def - True Magic Review |
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by: Doom 2007-02-22 I think this was put together on a budget of 25 cents, some dryer lint and cotton candy. The percussion and especially the horns in the various beats sound cheap and lazy, arranged by substandard producers like Preservation and Minnesota (seriously, who's ever heard of these bozos before?). It's fucking terrible. Really, really horrific and a pain to my ears. Literally, some of the beats play as though they're on a fucking Casio keyboard. |
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The Right Brothers - No Apologies Review |
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The Right Brothers - No Apologies Review by: Doom 2007-02-08 I want to give special mention to their eighth track on No Apologies, "Bush Was Right", which may be the funniest piece of music interspersed with lyrics ever made (excepting the Right Brothers' other classic, "Mama, I Wanna Live", a pro-abortion ditty...FROM THE FETUS' POINT OF VIEW). The guitar in "Bush Was Right" literally sounds like "Nyah nyah nyah nyaaah, nyah" on a perpetual loop. I cannot make this shit up, people. |
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Ghostface Killah - More Fish Review |
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Ghostface Killah - More Fish Review by: Doom 2007-01-31 The members of Theodore Unit - Ghostface's 'crew' - don't even begin to match half of the New York MC's talent. Their inclusion on Supreme Clientele only worked because 1) they only appeared on a few verses on a few scattered tracks, at most and 2) the great production and collective shock at a sophomore Wu-Tang release actually being good drowned out Theodore Unit's overall shittiness. |
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The Absence - From Your Grave Review |
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The Absence - From Your Grave Review by: Dizz 2007-01-22 Also, I would like to show all of you Fundies out there that rock music is not in fact the Devil's music, because Jesus himself would not do vocals for Satan's band.
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Kevin Federline - Playing with Fire Review |
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Kevin Federline - Playing with Fire Review by: Doom 2007-01-06 Reviewing a Kevin Federline 'album' is more difficult than you would imagine, I bet. Sure, from a distance it appears as though K-Fed is a walking joke and, therefore, a review of his musical talents would result in a comedy lay-up. See, that's the thing. It's so easy to mock a redneck trailer trash parasite with no talent, no money and no wife. I might as well be lamenting the lack of quality in weathermen's ability to predict the weather, or the oddities involved in McDonald's pricing and nutritional systems. |
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Raider/Counter-Raider: Schwein - Schweinstein Review |
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Raider/Counter-Raider: Schwein - Schweinstein Review by: Rammspieler, En Esch and Guenter Schulz 2006-12-30 Guenter Schulz: I really like "Organzola", the song, actually. The guitars start at the first second of the track and are plentiful enough for me to not criticize Schwein for not including 17 minutes of guitar noodling. They can be excused because only a few are talented enough to do such noodling. Namely, me. Jules from PIG and those Japanese guys certainly aren't talented enough to do the totally unique solos on "A Drug Against War" or "Godlike". |
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We Need Money |
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by: En Esch and Guenter Schulz 2006-12-25 Guenter Schulz: My guitar comes complete with the Guenter Gueide to power chords, a handful of Tim Skold's chest hair from when we fought over who gets to sing "Chaos", him or Esch, 30 copies of Cheesy, the legal rights to Schulz - What Apology, the kazoo used on Slick Idiot track "A Slick Idiot Against A Drug Against War" and the chance to write yourself into En Esch's will once. |
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KMFDM - Money Remastered Review |
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KMFDM - Money Remastered Review by: En Esch 2006-12-25 There is absolutely no reason to buy a rereleased Money, unless you're a Sascha sycophant and want to buy another En Esch-deficient album of distinctive garbage. Instead, why not check eBay for a near-mint copy of Cheesy? It won't cost you much, and you're certain to get your money back through the joy brought to you by such classic tracks as "Ich Bin", "Rule the Mob" and "Cum". |
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KMFDM - Naive Remastered Review |
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KMFDM - Naive Remastered Review by: The Fanboy 2006-12-25 An 'edited' version without the sample. Bah!!!! I want the copyright infringement version and I want it now! I don't care if it's impossible or too costly to get the rights, I want my bottle/"Liebeslied" and I want it now! Sascha is a total jerk for not killing the estate of Carl Orff and stealing the sample. I guess Sascha's failure to do that is an indication of how much he UTTERLY HATES THE FANS!! |
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KMFDM - UAIOE Remastered Review |
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KMFDM - UAIOE Remastered Review by: Lorne Michaels 2006-12-25 The RIAA is Jewish, so only heavily anti-white or pro-multiculturalist Kike bands get airplay. That's why MTV shows System of a Down and not White Wolf or Prussian Blue. Why VH1 airs Jewish extremist Weird Al Yankovic in lieu of fine white men Iced Earth. Sickening and endemic of the Jewish problem, I know. |
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KMFDM - Don't Blow Your Top Remastered Review |
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KMFDM - Don't Blow Your Top Remastered Review by: En Esch and Guenter Schulz 2006-12-25 En Esch: Ja, ja. Ja, anyway, I'm glad I'm not in KMFDM anymore. They stifled my creativity at every turn, telling me 'fake dance bullshit' is 'horrible'. I have a little thing called the sales charts for when Cheesy debuted to prove you wrong, Konietzko! Whatever. He won't be anybody in the next few years. Go squeeze another $20 out of your fanbase by releasing Excessive Force again, while Slick Idiot plays in the highly successful superband, Pigface. |
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Marilyn Manson - The Golden Age of Grotesque Review |
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Marilyn Manson - The Golden Age of Grotesque Review by: The Fanboy 2006-10-28 I knew things were to be a sour affair of Skold proportions when I couldn't find Twiggy Ramirez anywhere on the CD. Marilyn Manson's personnel decisions are always genius but this one...only 99% genius, I believe. Obviously all the other infinitely more talented than Marilyn Manson were fired for much the same reason of being too talented for musical genius Marilyn Manson. MM is not about talent, it's about the lack of talent expressing emotion and feeling. It's all in Amazing Gothasy #15. |
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Rob Zombie - Educated Horses Review |
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Rob Zombie - Educated Horses Review by: Doom, Deathkill-360 and Dick Gephardt 2006-10-21 FUCK NO |
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KMFDM Hau Ruck Zuck Tour 2006 Concert Review |
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KMFDM Hau Ruck Zuck Tour 2006 Concert Review by: Doom 2006-10-07 The Rave is the only real legitimate rock concert hall in town. All their competitors close down or mysteriously get burnt to the ground. What a shocking series of coincidences leaving the Rave with a monopoly! It wouldn't hurt so much if The Rave wasn't one of the shittiest places I've ever been to, and I've been to Georgia so you know I'm not talking hyperbolically. |
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Slick Idiot - DickNity Review |
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by: Doom 2006-10-04 I have heard the worst album ever. |
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KMFDM - What Do You Know, Deutschland? Remastered Review |
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KMFDM - What Do You Know, Deutschland? Remastered Review by: The Fanboy 2006-09-30 En Esch soloed first!!!!!! |
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Dr. Octagon - The Return of Dr. Octagon Review |
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Dr. Octagon - The Return of Dr. Octagon Review by: Doom 2006-09-27 Here's an average track: Kool Keith says one line, for example, "Trees are dying". The producers then take this line and roughly three more incoherent lines and somehow turn it into a multi-verse track, where they're not concerned with actual rhyming or rhythm or meter or even the rap fitting the music behind it, but with filling up time so to make it appear to be a real track of music. |
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Shaggy 2 Dope - F.T.F.O. Review |
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Shaggy 2 Dope - F.T.F.O. Review by: Bruce Banner/Juggalo Hulk 2006-09-04 I'M TIRED OF YOU NONJUGGALOS MAKING FUN OF ME BECAUSE OF WHO I AM! IT'S CALLED RACISM, HATERS. YOU MESS WITH ONE OF THE JUGGALOS, YOU MESS WITH THE JUGGALO FAMILY! AND WHILE WE DON'T HAVE POLITICAL POWER OR JOBS, WE DO HAVE POSTURING, LOTS AND LOTS OF POSTURING! WE POSTURE BETTER THAN EVEN 50 CENT'S FANS! WATCH IN TERROR AS WE PRETEND TO BE DANGEROUS, INTIMIDATING AND IMPORTANT! |
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Ministry - Rio Grande Blood Review |
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Ministry - Rio Grande Blood Review by: Bill O'Reilly 2006-09-03 Where's Bin Laden, you ask? Who cares, he's old news, he's marginalized to the point where he's probably going to end up as a guest on the incredibly low rated Keith Olbermann show. No one cares about Bin Laden because he's no longer important. The REAL enemies who hurt our country are Al Gore and his Socialist Buddies like Hillary Clinton and Howard Dean. |
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My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge Review |
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My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge Review by: Dizz 2006-08-29 For a person who loves music as much as I do, it's difficult to figure out why terrible bands exist, aside of course from the idiots continuing to support them. One of my leading theories for this phenomenon is that God is pissed off and therefore needs to get our attention somehow, since some ignored the warning that George W. Bush was, and realizes horrible music is the best way. |
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Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere Review |
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Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere Review by: Josiah X 2006-08-29 Dangermouse is the slave master and Cee-Lo is his shoe shinin', cotton pickin', drunken impregnationin' SLAVE! It explains why the production credits list Cee-Lo as singer, but white man Dangermouse, oh, he's a 'producer'. More like whip cracker! See, it's yet ANOTHER case of the white man music industry compromising the black man's vision. Remember the cracker in Jedi Mind Tricks? The gook in Handsome Boy Modeling School? That metal face white boy from Madvillain? |
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Optimus Rhyme - School the Indie Rockers Review |
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Optimus Rhyme - School the Indie Rockers Review by: Doom 2006-07-22 With the hip-hop landscape deluged with tough talkin' gangstas who only act in that way to receive acclaim from those who subscribe to the 'hardcore always equals good' doctrine, I hold little hope in many releases sating my desire for excellent wordplay and songs with both a bit of gravitas and a lot of fun, especially with overwrought angst being the 'in thing' these days. Fortunately, 2006 marks both the return of Optimus Rhyme and Del the Funky Homosapien to the art of album production, so all hope is not lost. |
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Fort Minor - The Rising Tied Review |
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Fort Minor - The Rising Tied Review by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2006-07-22 Shinoda also whines about how critics hate him, or call him names, or something. He claims in the song ("High Road") that "I'm tryin to be bigger than the bickerin/bigger than the petty name callin" and yet the entire thesis of the track IS slamming critics for not understanding him or not liking him. The puerile, petty nature of his rhymes combined with his lack of flow and annoying swagger do little to endear me to him. |
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Yellowcard - Lights and Sounds Review |
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Yellowcard - Lights and Sounds Review by: Dizz 2006-06-30 Upon my first listen to this album, I didn't think it was all that bad. However, upon completion of it I realized that I had listened to the entire album on mute. |
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Vanilla Ice - Platinum Underground Review |
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Vanilla Ice - Platinum Underground Review by: Doom 2006-06-16 Vanilla Ice not only makes J-Rock from Trailer Park Boys look like a genuine hip hop head, but it looks like his tattoos were drawn in crayon and lipstick by any children that were unfortunately willed into this world by Vanilla Ice's sadly working penis. Quite possibly the most hilarious rap album cover ever created, unless U-God tries to make another one. |
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Dangerdoom - Occult Hymn EP Review |
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Dangerdoom - Occult Hymn EP Review by: Doom and Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2006-06-14 Even though it's half the length of The Mouse and the Mask, it's mostly subpar sequel songs or incredibly terrible skits, with a few nice remixes to sorta make up for it a little bit. It wasn't good enough to be worth an EP priced currency exchange, so it was made free in 64kbps glory, a sound level horrible even for people who are not audiophiles. The only possible conclusion? Adult Swim hates their fans, and posted Dangerdoom material that didn't make the album as a sick joke. And judging from their programming choices as of late, that is undoubtedly a completely correct conclusion. |
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Mr. Nogatco - Nogatco Rd. Review |
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Mr. Nogatco - Nogatco Rd. Review by: Doom 2006-05-21 Kool Keith: "God, I hate my fans. Bunch of crackers who don't like my shittier music. But then again, I like money, as shown by my several attempts to throw out shit in hopes of people buying it. I know! I'll bring back Dr. Octagon, but in the kraaaaaazy Kool Keith zany format - Dr. Octagon...only backwards! Those fucking whitey fans will be forced to buy it, no matter how shitty it is! Muhahahahahaha!" |
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The Right Brothers: Right is Right Review |
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The Right Brothers: Right is Right Review by: Bruce Banner/Zell Miller 2006-04-01 This is just a rehashing of the hit single "Get them Wetbacks Outta Here", and it shows in the song. What I liked about the previous song is completely lost here. For example, look at the lines: "Too many illegal immigrants get across the border/laws must be reformed by the end of the fiscal quarter". Now compare it to the lines from "Get them Wetbacks Outta Here": "GET THEM WETBACKS OUTTA HERE!/THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE THAN A WETBACK IS A QUEER!" It just doesn't compare. |
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Crazy Frog 2: The Return |
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by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2006-03-22 But my research indicates that children do not buy these, instead it's young adults who buy them. Though naively idealistic and irresponsible, most young adults know the general definition of music, so this surprises me. Of course, if data ever comes out that doctors or lawyers like to 'jam to' Crazy Frog, I may very well kill myself. |
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James Blunt |
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by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2006-02-14 He has been favorably compared to Elton John - which is probably not good for his musical career or his sex life. |
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Reggaeton |
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by: Bruce Banner and Rammspieler 2006-02-07 There are a few things that I can list that are things I'd never like to hear: the death rattle of an infant, the sound of an explosion that vaporizes an entire city, Gwen Stefani, and finally, reggaeton. |
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Viktor Vaughn - Venomous Villain Review |
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Viktor Vaughn - Venomous Villain Review by: Doom 2006-02-07 As with all Viktor Vaughn CDs, Doom doesn't do any of the production, so not only do we only get 9 minutes and 30 seconds of Vik on the mic, we don't get any of the production from him either, so the album is largely composed of guests. Oh, FUCK YOU. |
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Crazy Frog |
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by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2006-01-31 I have listened to Crazy Frog's music, even his first song "Axel F", and all of it is complete refuse. Just so you don't have to go to the trouble of listening to any of Crazy Frog's 'songs', I will describe each and every one of them for you [because each and every one of them follows the exact same modus operandi]: take a pre-existing song, and add in the patented Crazy Frog sound effects, which is basically that one sound effect that's been on the internet for 7 years. I really have to wonder how long it takes these people to concoct these songs. I'm certain that equipped with a reasonable sound editor I could just feed into it the preexisting song and place the appropriate Crazy Frog sound[s] where I see fit. That should only take 3 or 4 minutes if I'm being accurate about the creative process his songs. |
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Tom Green - Prepare for Impact Review |
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Tom Green - Prepare for Impact Review by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2006-01-23 The first thing I noticed about the CD, other than that it wasn't very good, was that it costs a total of $37.49 on Amazon.com. I would really like to know why a Tom Green CD costs that much. The sensible customer would be hard-pressed to buy a Tom Green album for the average MSRP for a CD, so why would Amazon sell it for nearly 3 times that? Either the CD is made of solid gold or laced with asbestos, it had a limited print run due to lack of interest, or the people pricing things at Amazon are stupid. I am guessing that it's a combination of B and C. |
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Herzeleid Forums 3: Return of the King |
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Herzeleid Forums 3: Return of the King by: Doom and Rammspieler 2006-01-01
Doom: [phone rings] It's the Realityphone! [answers] What
is it, Commissioner Gephardt?
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Viktor Vaughn - Vaudeville Villain Review |
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Viktor Vaughn - Vaudeville Villain Review by: Doom 2005-12-23 Vaudeville Villain is not only among MF Doom's best, it's also one of the best hip-hop albums I've ever had the pleasure of listening to. |
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Herzeleid Forums 2: Rise of the Machines |
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Herzeleid Forums 2: Rise of the Machines by: Doom and Rammspieler 2005-10-22 Rammspieler: Yeah, Rammstein is letting me down too. What happened to the times when they used to sing about serious stuff like rape, having sex with corpses and bondage? I hope that by the next album they start singing again about incestuous relationships with fish or they will lose me as a loyal fan! |
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KMFDM - Hau Ruck Review |
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by: Nixon 2005-10-19 Well, in rock music, the only (very broad) category I feel qualified enough to discuss, my number one rule is no screeching. Ever. EVER. Call it personal preference, but if the lead singer's idea of, well, singing is to try and do a sword eating trick with the mic, the song goes off, and in the Recycling Bin. |
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Anorexi Lexi |
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by: The 2005-10-12 Music is a timeless art that, when done correctly, can be the most entertaining thing in the world, or the most annoying thing if done wrong. After noticing the horrible state that the music section of the web site is in, I took it upon myself to try my own hand at this noble art. Being that I neither own nor know much about any music out there it just seemed to make more sense to make music rather than critique it. |
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MC Frontalot - Nerdcore Rising Review |
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MC Frontalot - Nerdcore Rising Review by: Doom 2005-09-07 I find that in a field drowning in gangsta rappers and mumbly guys who can't really rhyme, MC Frontalot is a breath of fresh air; he doesn't try to be someone else, someone with cars and money and girls; he's just himself, and that's much more interesting than "All About the Benjamins". |
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MTV Video Music Awards 2005 |
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by: Doom 2005-09-03 The first 'anything can happen' moment happens, when a lone fan yells out for Diddy to start dancing, and Grandmaster Flash just so happens to have appropriate music on cue. What an unintended happening! And then MC Hammer shows up. I'm serious. MC 'No Career' Hammer. I figure Diddy found Hammer selling his body for heroin outside the Awards Show. |
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Linkin Park Sucks |
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by: Doom and Commando 2005-05-14 Rap-metal had thankfully died off for the most part before Linkin Park's arrival. I'm sorry if this makes it sound as though rap-metal is something that necessitated a revival, for it's not. Linkin Park is oft referred to as 'nu metal', mainly because it sounds somewhat like metal...and it's bad. Hence the hilarious sarcastic use of 'nu' instead of 'new'! |
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Gorillaz Review |
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by: Doom 2005-02-19 Most of the musicians these days are all about their image. All style, no substance. The music itself may be mediocre or even bad, but it goes platinum regardless, all because of who's on the cover. Gorillaz, a collaboration between Dan the Automator and Damon Albarn, among others, takes this idea to the extreme. |
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Modest Mouse EP review |
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Modest Mouse - This Is A Long Drive For Someone With Nothing To Think About Review by: Scarecrow 2005-02-09 This EP's title is long. God damn. |
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Deltron 3030 Review |
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by: Doom 2005-02-03 Concept albums are rarely ever good. Oh, sure, there are a few good songs, but usually halfway through the concept is abandoned, or the concept just isn't strong enough to carry a 60+ minute long album. Thankfully, Dan the Automator, Del the Funky Homosapien, Kid Koala and many others have crafted a brilliant sci-fi hip-hop concept album. |
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The Herzeleid Forums |
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by: Doom and Rammspieler 2005-01-16 Rammspieler: If you play them backwards you get
Christian songs. |
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Glenn Case Interview |
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by: Doom 2004-12-21 "He [Glenn Case's friend Jason] takes pictures from a Sears style catalog of these male models in sweaters...He puts fake gold chains on them, and decides to name them "MC Buttwipe and DJ TP Roll"." |
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MC Frontalot Interview |
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by: Doom 2004-09-28 "Most of us have to struggle to remember the thrill of standing in line for Empire Strikes Back. It's so much easier to conjure the image of five thousand billion Jar Jar Burger King toys degassing in a landfill." |
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Nerdcore Hip Hop |
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by: Doom 2004-09-28 I like hip-hop. The lyrics are more interesting than 'my parents don't understand me, and I think the shop teacher is hitting on me'. Also, before anyone thinks it, not all hip-hop acts resort to outright sampling and no other musical endeavors. Nor are all songs about the hood and/or guns, drugs and women. To prove this, I give you Nerdcore Hip-Hop: a subgenre that features rapping about mechas, Star Wars and the Unified Field Theory. |
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Rammstein - Reise, Reise Review |
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Rammstein - Reise, Reise Review by: Doom 2004-09-27 After three years of waiting and crappy bootlegs, Rammstein's fourth album, Reise, Reise has finally been released. While longtime fans will be divided like with the release of Mutter, this album is, in my opinion, worth the wait. |
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