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2012 Presidential Debate 3 |
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by: Doom 2012-10-23 Obama justifies cutting military budget based on not spending money on shit the military doesn't want, which does raise the question: would Obama ever bother to say "no" to the military if it wanted something? I'm guessing no, but that did recommend some cuts so that's a key difference between the two candidates. Romney knows the defense industry's the one American institution that'll never quit, hence his zeal in ensuring the global police have everything, even pointless shit like more ships for the Navy. Who cares if America has no real need for Naval combat anymore, what with having no enemies easily reached by sea? GOTTA KEEP CONTRACTORS BUSY. |
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The Gayest Reactions to Andrew Breitbart's Death |
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The Gayest Reactions to Andrew Breitbart's Death by: Doom 2012-03-04 Hey look, it's a video of Steven Crowder not being funny intentionally! What a rare find. |
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Andrew Breitbart |
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by: Doom 2012-03-04 There's so much to hate about this fucker it's hard to figure out where to start; he combines all the worst traits of Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly and the horde of petty, vindictive, soulless conservative bloggers that should've been exiled from the country after the 2008 election into one pudgy, repulsive once-a-man, now-a-shell. Breitbart exuded the kind of sleazy populist huckerism that returned to national consciousness when the Tea Party formed totally independently as a grassroots organization (not really) when it turned out the new president was going to not curb government spending (that's not the reason). |
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100 ways Andrew Breitbart might've really died |
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100 ways Andrew Breitbart might've really died by: Doom, the Red Fox, Generalissimo Furioso, Black Goliath, alucidreality, Dyevil and Hierophant 2012-03-04 |
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Raider/Counter-Raider: Should Bush be Executed? |
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Raider/Counter-Raider: Should Bush be Executed? by: Doom and Carenage 2009-01-28 He should be investigated by current President Barack Obama for the various allegations that persisted during his administration. If he is found guilty, he should be punished with whatever judgment is given to him. If he's found innocent, us progressives should apologize to him because then clearly he had had done nothing wrong and we were just mistaken. This is how things should be. We're America, we're not barbaric except for when the government is controlled by a Republican majority. We're not like Iraq, which executed Saddam Hussein when they could have just as easily issued a non-binding resolution condemning him. |
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FREAKFACE ABOUT ELECTION |
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by: Freakface 2008-10-29 JOHN MCCAIN WAS IN ARMY LIKE FREAKFACE HE FLEWED A LOT OF AIRPANES SO MANY HE HAD'VE LIKE 5IVE OF 'EM AND ONE TIME HE CRASH IN VIETNOM (GOOK VERSION OF IRAQ) VIETNAMEESE TORTURED HIM BUT JOHN CANE NEVER GIVE UP LIKE COWARD JOHN CARY DID WHEN HE WAS SOLDIER FAG THAT'S BECAUSE JOHN MCCANE LOVES HIS COUNTRY UNLIKE THE DEMO RATS. JOHN MCIN HAVE WEAK SPOTS HOWEVER EVEN THO HE IS AMERICHUN HERO HE HATES TORTURE BECAUSE HE THINK EVEN WRONG WHEN DONE BY ARMY IN AMERICA. |
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No one gives a shit about your opinions |
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People of America: No one gives a shit about your opinions by: Doom 2008-10-15 Your opinions go into a wind tunnel of no consequence. Your devotion to the political party dictatorship make your opinions null and void. At least with the Soviet Union they were open and honest with the party dictatorship. The citizens knew the Communist Party was the only game in the republic. Here? Idiots (who aren't idiotic enough to think 'shit's all right') still cling to the delusion that either the two party dictatorship will be abolished or lessened at some nebulous 'point' in the future, or that they the individual or they the collective lobbying group can affect either of the two parties. To improve them for the better. You won't. |
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Muslims: Our New Soviet Union |
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by: Doom 2008-10-01 While Russia's relative 'whiteness' gave a pall of paranoia over the country, with no one knowing who was a true blue American and who read Das Kapital in lieu of praying to God, a non-white foe is always preferred over a white enemy. Whiteness makes it much harder to whip up national hatred. Look at how Americans discriminated against the Italians and Irish until they realized the greater threat – Jews. |
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'Inexperienced' is the new 'black' |
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'Inexperienced' is the new 'black' by: Doom 2008-10-01 See, since Obama is 'inexperienced', he might not know what to do when in the White House. He might fuck shit up. He won't know how to use the phone! When talking to Vladimir Putin, he'll be spitting watermelon seeds on the receiver while malt liquor dribbles all over his expensive suit, causing Putin to believe him to be a rube and therefore deciding to nuke the United States and forcibly converting the remaining citizenry to his polonium fascist atheist homosinual (I've never seen him dressed as a cowboy!) evilogy. You can't trust him to be responsible, he's a nig-uh, inexperienced. |
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Democracy Soon! Alert |
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Canvassing Tips for the HASSLE Movement by: Craig Jacobsen 2008-09-24 "How will Obama improve my life instead of those of drug dealers and homosexuals?" Well, for starters, inquire about their income level. If they aren't too shysty to mention their yearly pay to a complete stranger collecting information on them, claim that Barack Obama is planning to send even bigger stimulus checks than Bush did to those exactly within $20,000 above or below their median income. It's probably true for most people, and if it isn't, well, they can't unvote, can they? |
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A woman vice president? |
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by: Ted Stevens 2008-09-07 Many of the things this so-called vice president does are simply tasks that women cannot do. Like breaking a tie in the Senate. Now, I may not be exactly certain on what the Senate 'is', but apparently I serve in it, and I've never seen a woman break a tie before. Men tie knots, not women. Women certainly cannot untie knots. That's why so many women wear heels and clogs, those shoes don't have laces. In Alaska, tying and untying is left to the men. |
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Re-Elect Bill Clinton |
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by: Bill Clinton 1996-09-03 Now on the other tip, Clinton done good, which is why mah nickname is "Clinton Done Good", as well as "Sex Machine". Americuh's more prosperous than it's been in a while, since the 60s, when ol' Clinton Done Good was smokin' the reefer and avoiding the draft. And in the 90s we don't even have a war, tho Ah'll give you one if you want me to or if I lose the election. Libya, Iraq, Canada, whatever, somethin'll prolly happen. |
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Bob Dole will use any bathroom Bob Dole Bob Dole well pleases to |
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Bob Dole will use any bathroom Bob Dole Bob Dole well pleases to by: Bob Dole 1996-09-03 No one ever recognizes what Bob Dole did for this country. Do you notice Bob Dole always keeps a pen in Bob Dole's right hand? That's so in any situation Bob Dole can offer a pen if someone needs a pen to use for writing or otherwise. Bill Clinton doesn't do that. Ross Perot doesn't even use pens, he uses pencils, and he says pens are for suckers because everyone makes mistakes and that's why we need the gold standard again. |
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Joe Biden: WHORE! |
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by: Doom 2008-08-31 Writing an article about Joe Biden is pretty fucking hard, I must admit. Not in terms of material, of which there's a shitload. But aesthetically he is so boring one must put forth much effort to write about him. Even plagiarizing in regards to the guy takes some effort, more so than his efforts to plagiarize took. |
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Stormfront loves Ron Paul |
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by: Doom and Rammspieler 2008-08-17 Despite his chances of becoming President having gone from nil to nil in the past couple months of primaries, Ron Paul has doggedly refused to give up on the amazing pipe dream of us electing a president straight out of 1840. Or, rather, his followers have refused to give up. Ron Paul's sticking to the 'there's no legitimate way for me to be president' line, which raises the question of 'is Ron Paul suggesting his 12 fanatics go all putsch on Washington's ass?'. |
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The Democrats are pathetic losers |
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The Democrats are pathetic losers by: Doom 2008-08-10 Each party is only good at one thing - projecting an image. The Democrats excel at fooling the vox populi into believing their candidates - Clinton, Obama - are human beings. The Republicans succeed in their effort to make Americans believe their candidates - Bush, McCain, whatever KKK nutcase they've dredged up - is a strong manly man who will hold us and kill everyone who doesn't share our last name when we're scared. So when people say the parties are the same, know they speak bullshit. |
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Elect More and Better Democrats |
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Elect More and Better Democrats by: Doom 2008-07-30 Very rarely can 'bad' Democrats be replaced by 'better' Democrats. Remember when the Dems tried to drum Lieberman out of ranks by having Ned Lamont run in the primary for Connecticut Senator? And Ned Lamont lost spectacularly in what should've been a sure thing, since most Democrats hated McCain Jr. and his naked Republicanism? See, here's how the Liebe won. Republicans, knowing their guy wouldn't win anyway, voted Lieberman so the Democrats would a) have a hacky obstacle and b) have a Republican in their clothing within the ranks. I'm sure the Connecticut for Lieberman Party was bankrolled by Republicans. |
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The New Yorker Obama Debacle |
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by: Doom 2008-07-23 Come on, fucking look at the cover. No one could take this seriously. It's obviously satire. For fuck's sake, Osama's picture is above the fireplace. It's The New Yorker; no one could ever think this is serious. |
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Guys, I think we need to seriously stop the Iraq War |
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Guys, I think we need to seriously stop the Iraq War by: Adam Breihan 2008-07-16 I think it's, like, gone on long enough. 5 years is way too long to let the United FASCIST States of America oppress the Iraqi people without doing something serious to stop the occupation. So dudes, we gotta stop it. The politicians obviously can't because they're like owned by corporations and the military industrial complex and the far-right administration and the biased far-right media, so we need to do it or else all those Iraqis will continue to die and shit. I mean, you know, I don't think that shit should fly anymore, and we need to hunker down and get serious about stopping the war. |
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Tony Snow: One Less Blue Eyed Devil in the World |
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Tony Snow: One Less Blue Eyed Devil in the World by: Doom 2008-07-16 It's very fitting that Snow suffered and eventually died from colon cancer, because I'm certain he received it from all the ass fuckings the Republicans gave him. His bowels were awash in conservative semen (remember, they aren't gay if they don't admit it and hate gays publicly) every fucking day on FOX NEWS, so why wouldn't he contract colon cancer. Karl Rove alone is enough of a cancer to infect entire hospital wings. |
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Tim Russert: Thank Fuck That Asshole Is Dead |
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Tim Russert: Thank Fuck That Asshole Is Dead by: Doom 2008-06-22 Tim Russert accomplished a lot of worthless bullshit in his position as politician fellatio giver. For example, he is said to have put "red state" and "blue state" into the popular discourse. I fucking hate red state/blue state bullshit. Really, can't America be a little more complex than fucking goddamn Dr. Seuss terminology? I know Americans are fucking stupid, but we do not need more simplified retard buzzwords. |
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The Poor Deserve It! |
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by: The Libertarian 2008-06-12 You'd think if poor people didn't want to be poor they would just do the smart thing and get a high-paying job. Yet they don't, so we can thus determine they have no brains or at least no functioning brains. I can't tell you how many times I've seen hobos use the change they've collected to buy some food or a bottle of water instead of doing the wise thing and investing it in the stock market. |
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Obama for President! |
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by: Adolf Hitler 2008-06-01 I know what you're thinking - "but he's a nigger, Adolf. Aren't niggers a stain on the race?" Yeah, sure, but so are all non-Aryan peoples. Who were the Democrats supposed to pick, Lieberman? The fact is that he's not a nigger like Sharpton, but a nigger like Al Roker, or the Urkel. A loveable "that one". I mean, Hillary Clinton is "blacker" than Obama, for Christ sakes! The possibilities for a pure white statesman or woman in these diversified times is getting tougher and tougher. We need to loosen ourselves from that impractical position. |
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Israel/Palestine: The Zero State Solution |
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Israel/Palestine: The Zero State Solution by: Charlie Sykes 2008-06-01 Kick the Israelis and the Palestinians out of the land. Israel may not be prime real estate, but it does have some religious significance for Christians, Jews, and Muslims, which is exactly why we should take ownership of it ourselves and make Jerusalem into a free trade zone theme park that will show people in the Middle East the glories of Christianity and how every other religion is wrong, wrong, wrong. |
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Free Tibet |
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by: Carenage 2008-04-30 Look, I don't know where exactly, but I do know someone involved in the Tibet situation needs money and we ought to provide it. Really. I don't mean a crazy amount either, since I'm aware we all need to buy the new Blu-Ray disc of Serenity and people need to prioritize. So I'm not saying we give our entire paychecks over to someone in Tibet. Just a small amount. Like $5. $10. Per person, that should come out to at least a couple hundred dollars. |
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Free Burma |
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by: Carenage 2008-04-27 Although I do not agree with its message, since I don't think violence solves anything, Rambo is a good way to show your support for the Karen rebels who are speaking out against the Burmese government in a grassroots sort of way. I think the Karen rebels are in charge of creating bumperstickers to put on their cars advocating democracy or something. I don't know for certain. Rambo does do a good job of showing the crimes of the country's government and why we should totally, like, tell them to stop being the government of Burma. |
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Poriticar Science: Intelnationar Lerations |
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Poriticar Science: Intelnationar Lerations by: Ho Chi Gookerson 2008-04-27 I ask arr of you that duling rectules you stay quiet and do not tark much. Tarking takes focus off of my rectule and puts it on tarking. You not enlorr in Tarking 203, you enlorr in Intelnationar Lerations 175. Arso, prease, no raptops. They ale distlacting. In one of my othel crasses, Ratin Amelican Poritics, student was on raptop arr the time, distlacting myserf and othel students flom rectules by sulfing on Intelnet and doing e-mairs when he shourd have been taking notes. Rooking at Amazon.com is onry acceptabre if it lerates to Intelnationar Lerations! |
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Yes, the war is more important than your 'identity politics' |
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Yes, the war is more important than your 'identity politics' by: Pseudo-Intellectual College Student Douchebag 2008-04-23 It's pretty clear we can only do one thing at a time. It'd be totally naive to think we could work on improving domestic policy and foreign policy at the same time. Too much work, man, and there's an Apatow marathon on tonight. So I'm not going to, like, stick around for all right, you know. So we really ought to hammer this out before The Cable Guy hits Comedy Central. Okay? Okay. |
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Virginia Tech: Bush's involvement |
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Virginia Tech: Bush's involvement by: Blitz Niggardly 2008-04-16 There's several connections between Cho and killbot factories. He was once a member of Gerakan Pramuka, the Indonesian boy scouts when he lived there. While the Boy Scouts do not have on record a merit badge for killing, it's generally understood that the Knights Templar, the adult version of the Boy Scouts (also known as Eagle Scouts in some circles), does. Clearly, Cho was angling to earn his killing merit badge and prove he was man enough to be an Eagle Scout/Knight Templar by murdering 32 people at Virginia Tech. |
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It's not rape if we consent to it |
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It's not rape if we consent to it by: Harry Reid 2008-04-09 You don't really want a Senate Majority Leader who does something, do you? Think of what I could do with my powers if I used my powers for evil! I might become some far-left hippie Fuhrer ramrodding pro-leftist agendas through both houses to reshape the country into a socialist wet dream. Or maybe my Mormon God will possess me and bring about the Apocalypse through a non-binding resolution. |
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Attempting to initiate homosexual sex is part of my standard bathroom procedure |
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Attempting to initiate homosexual sex is part of my standard bathroom procedure by: Larry Craig 2008-04-09 Guys, come on. You have to believe me! I wouldn't lie about something like this! I wouldn't! Come on! Don't haul me away! I did nothing wrong, seriously! Come on! Please! I didn't mean it, just like I didn't mean to agree to a guilty plea! I compulsively agreed, which is a documented medical condition! You have to believe me! Please! Please! Please... |
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I'm tired of politics |
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by: Doom 2008-04-02 It's become a fucking football game rather than what it should be - a frank and truthful discussion on the affairs of the government and what direction the government ought to go in and what its role in society should be. None of these stupid fucks talk about that, except for, like, Ron Paul, and I don't trust anyone who demands his followers drink a sugary, cyanide-esque substance before taking a trip to the world of the perfect free market. |
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Obama's great, but... |
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by: Michael Richards 2008-03-23 I understand presidential candidate Barack Obama is a great orator with impeccable rhetorical skills and a great vision for the country's future and clear, sound methods on how to solve America's many problems. I understand he's by far better than John McCain and Hillary Clinton as potential presidents. I understand he's had an impressive political career so far. I understand all of that. Obama's great. Yes. Obama's great, but you're all forgetting one thing... |
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France: French for "Terrorist State on the Rise" |
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France: French for "Terrorist State on the Rise" by: Bill O'Reilly 2008-03-19 Since their pathetic defeat at the hands of the Nazis, France has basically been a nothing power. We had to bail them out of WWII and we had to bail them out of Vietnam. It's likely we killed some people in Algeria too just to satisfy the homos in France. As their military has decreased into hippiedom, however, their liberal communist spirit has risen into Soviet Union proportions, or perhaps Berkeley, California, proportions. |
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Voting Sucks |
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by: Doom 2008-03-16 When Puff Daddy advocates participation in the electoral system, it warrants scrutiny. |
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McGeewaukee: Michael McGee's Milwaukee |
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McGeewaukee: Michael McGee's Milwaukee by: Michael McGee 2008-03-12 Corner stores are where the power base for the McGee defenders is at. The Charlies of the world, they see these corner stores as encroaching businesses encroaching on white businesses such as banks and restaurants and recruiting centers (sublet for the homosexuals, but that is a matter to be settled in another mental McGee missive McGee). That is true. But that does not mean it mustn't be done. That means it must be done at a higher rate than Charlie thinks is being done. He must be taken off-guard - literally. |
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Barack Obama: America's Favorite Nigger |
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Barack Obama: America's Favorite Nigger by: Josiah X 2008-02-25 So it looks like Will Smith has been supplanted by Barack Obama as the best house nigger in the country. I know a lot of ignorant ass niggers been sayin' to me, "Josiah X, Josiah X, looks like a black man might become president. Doesn't that make you happy?" Fuck no! I ain't happy 'bout this bullshit. This just means I'm gonna have to work even harder to undermine Whitey and the house niggas who think white government's gonna be good as long as a brother's up there navigating it. |
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Rudy Giuliani: America's Favorite Fascist |
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Rudy Giuliani: America's Favorite Fascist by: Doom 2008-02-25 Beyond FUBARing 9/11 recovery, Rudy Giuliani's accomplishments whilst mayor read like a laundry list of authoritarianism. The greatest of these was his 'successful' cleaning up of New York. Perhaps cleansing would be a more appropriate term, as he turned a scummy city into a scummy city with all the minorities and poor people and anchors on society swept away to shittier parts of the city so corporate business felt safer and whiter. He pinned all of NYC's problems on those unable to defend themselves, i.e. the pussy way of demonizing. |
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Democracy Soon! Coalition Blog Feature #4 |
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Democracy Soon! Coalition Blog Feature #4 by: Commando 2008-02-11 Obama obama obama - I love saying it. It's a fun name. Get your blogs running campaign slogans, and spell them right. "Freedom is the audacity America needs!" Remix time. People want the content, right, but not the same package, right? Remix Obama's slogans so the people don't get bored. "Change some Hope into the Future". Well, I don't see nothing wrong with an idea like that. And they said good coke don't come cheap in the Bay Area... oops I shouldn't have just typed that. Oh well. |
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New Recruits |
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by: Sgt. Major 2008-01-30 MERCENARIES - WE ALREADY HAVE THOSE! MY MISTAKE! MOVING ON! |
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John McCain: The Far Right's Trojan Horse |
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John McCain: The Far Right's Trojan Horse by: Doom 2008-01-23 He doesn't actually talk straight, either, as his positions change to fit the times. All politicians do this to one extent or another, but for McCain it's especially egregious since his false reputation bases itself on rock-hard determination and not straying from what he thinks in his heart of hearts is best. 8 years ago he despised hatemonger Christians like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson, calling the former an "agent of intolerance". Yet in the run-up to his presidential campaign, he kissed their rings and appeared at Liberty University. STRONG CONVICTIONS! |
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The War against Iran: We'll be greeted as liberators, seriously |
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The War against Iran: We'll be greeted as liberators, seriously by: Bill O'Reilly 2008-01-20 SERIOUSLY! COME ON, I'M NOT PULLING YOUR LEG THIS TIME, FOLKS |
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Vote George W. Bush in 2008 |
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by: Doom 2007-12-12 I say that if Hitler got 12 years to turn Weimar-era "Hey man, anything gooooes...you wanna toke?" Germany into his dream Reich, we ought to give Bush the same amount of time to complete America's makeover into 17th century England. Or the Earth as seen in the Book of Revelations. It depends on his ambitions for his 3rd and final term (a 4th term would be pushing it and would piss on FDR's legacy). No matter what, though, a third term would cement those currently spurious comparisons between Hitler and Bush. |
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Sicko Review |
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by: Doom, the Red Fox and Nixon 2007-11-23 I guess you could say he made some good points about healthcare, corporate culture, greed superseding human welfare, and so on. But on the other hand, he's fat. Why should we believe what he has to say? |
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The Ron Paul Phenomenon |
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The Ron Paul Phenomenon: The Internet Fucks Up Again by: Doom 2007-11-23 The Swarm is what I call the psychotic freaks who show up anywhere, anytime, whenever someone on ANY site criticizes Ron Paul or writes something that can even be construed as possibly being critical of Ron Paul. Hell, these unthinking automatons may even show up in my inbox after I publish this; it's certainly possible. They typically arrive in a swarm, posting comment after comment in rapid succession, and then ironically prove all the stereotypes people make about them, namely that they're nutcases following an insane man. |
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Ten methods of civil action to really shake up the status quo |
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Ten methods of civil action to really shake up the status quo (non-violently, of course) by: Carenage 2007-11-18 We have a lot of problems in America right now. I say right now because there used to be a time where things were good. That was when Bill Clinton was President. He was a fine man and a fine president unfortunately tarnished by the Republicans' witchhunt with the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Apparently oral sex is worse than destroying the Constitution. |
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Democracy Soon! Blog Entry #3 |
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Democracy Soon!: Raising Awareness - One Wristband at a Time by: Commando 2007-11-11 On the TV yesterday there was a news report on Iraq which included a shot of a war memorial. All the names got to me. It's sad, these men and women who are supposed to be fighting for our freedom are forced to fight for an imperialistic lie! It got me thinking - what if everyone at school was forced to see people carrying around those names of the deceased on little black wristbands? Then people can't lie to themselves and say "this isn't happening". Oh yes it is, people. |
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Half Hour News Hour: Pilot MK II Review |
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Half Hour News Hour: Pilot MK II Review by: Doom, the Red Fox, Generalissimo Furioso, Nixon, Black Goliath and Dan Didio 2007-11-07 This pilot led to the order of a dozen or so more episodes, which signaled the first time FOX NEWS openly aired a comedy show. The season run was marked by recurring bits such as "White Guy: Oppressed Conservative" and Dennis Miller. Yes, I'm serious. Dennis Miller. You know the situation is fucked when FOX NEWS needs to call in their mop-up pseudo comedian to squeeze some comedy out of the humorless rock of a script. |
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Democracy Soon! Blog Entry #2 |
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Democracy Soon!: Hillary vs. Obama by: Commando 2007-11-04 Obama is black. I don't think I understand his cultural heritage and personality as much as I do that of Hillary, but my cultural heritage wasn't oppressed like his. I think I might owe it to those whose grandfathers' slavery built this country to vote for a black candidate. And anyway, even if that weren't true, it wouldn't be too bad to vote for him. I kind of like his big ears and smile. He isn't beautiful like Hillary, though. But he's also a man of color, which could help diplomatically because we have bombed so many people of color due to our fascist Republican leadership. |
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Ron Paul is Awesome! |
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by: Pseudo-Intellectual College Student Douchebag 2007-10-31 So I've been reading this Daily Raider site, and a couple days back they bashed the best presidential candidate out there. Dudes, you need to stop bashing Ron Paul, man. Ron Paul knows what's up with our country. He's got the plan. He's a straight talker, speaking nothing but the truth. Like, he knows the Iraq War is wrong, and torture is wrong, and us preemptively intervening militarily is wrong. Does Hillary CAPITALISton know that? Didn't think so, man! |
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The Death of Protesting |
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by: Doom 2007-10-31 Protests don't even have to be violent to be effective (although violence certainly helps). Above all else, there needs to be a purpose. An actual defined purpose understandable by everyone as not just worthless, stupid fucking posturing. The lack of purpose is the biggest problem befalling any sort of organized resistance against government or capitalism (or both). |
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Ron Paul: The Worst Populist, Ever |
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Ron Paul: The Worst Populist, Ever by: Doom 2007-10-28 When you get past the false image of a populist 'and a white man will lead them' figure, to the barebones of Ron Paul's personal philosophy, it's an unholy fusion of libertarianism and the fucking social conservative bullshit we've heard from every Goddamn Republican candidate since Nixon left office, with a fabulous slice of lemon-y John Birch Society-esque Jew World Order insanity. |
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Democracy Soon! Blog Entry #1 |
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Democracy Soon!: A Day at the War Protest by: Commando 2007-10-28 The catering was provided by our very own Tricia McDonne-Blatsky, whose tofu skewers and gluten-free vegan pizza were very popular amongst our regular attendees. (None of the barbecue-goers, strangely, stopped by, regardless of the signs advertising the free food. I think they were burnt out on collard greens!) |
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A Woman President? Git outta here! |
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A Woman President? Git outta here! by: Toby Keith 2007-10-21 A woman cain't be president, it's right dere in are Consitution-Bible thingama Declearation. You know, the thing with words. It's right there, that ladies can't be no positions a authority. Right next to the part about guns bein' a fundermental right. |
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How to Make Excuses About the Jena 6 |
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How to Make Excuses About the Jena 6 by: Jurassic3000 2007-10-21 Are you tired of hearing about black people complain about injustice? Do you feel as a white person you are victimized because you know that if you call someone a nigger, a kike, or a chink, an ass whoopin' will be coming right afterwards? Are you a self-righteous member of DailyKos or Free Republic who feels Mychal Bell should serve 22 years in jail because he beat up a white kid? Well, then this guide is definitely for you! |
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What do you think is gonna happen when I get outta here? |
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What do you think is gonna happen when I get outta here? by: Michael McGee 2007-10-21 You got it stuck in your brain that I murdered somebody. What do you want to call me a murderer for? I've never killed anyone! I don't need to kill anyone! I think it! I have it here! Believe me. If I started murdering people, there'd be none of you left. |
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The "Slavery Myth" |
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by: Black Goliath 2007-10-14 It's called cotton. Look it up. We picked it. It also happened to be the South's money maker since cotton had GLOBAL DEMAND. Wonder why Great Britain was willing to jump into the Civil War? It didn't want to lose one of its main trading partners. I think that's enough clout to be respected. And as for the North, the blacks there, free or not, still had to help with construction of dams, factories, food, shipping, you name it. It's funny that Medved thinks that because the South wasn't as efficient as the North, it was because the North didn't have southern slavery. |
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The Lighter Side of Iraq |
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by: Doom 2007-10-07 There being no draft means no one really feels the need to mount a significant opposition to the war. Or one capable or doing anything in any respect, anyway. This curtails a lot of the opposition, thereby allowing Iraq to go on for much longer than normal had there been conscription of any kind. As long as there's no draft, then we should be able to stay in Iraq for years, if not decades. |
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Raider/Counter-Raider: Gun Control |
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Raider/Counter-Raider: Gun Control by: Carenage and the Libertarian 2007-09-30 Guns are a serious problem in this country. Everyone's allowed to buy them, even people who plan on using them for bad purposes, which is way unfair. Like, I think the background check should be much more extensive, and the gun seller should explicitly ask the buyer if they plan on using the gun for unseemly purposes such as crime, shooting up a school or fighting an illegal war not authorized by the Congress and the United Nations. But that's not all the legislation I want to float to the Congress via a neutrally worded petition. |
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9/11 Changed Everything! |
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by: Doom 2007-09-23 Can any of us reach a consensus on the lessons of 9/11 or its meaning? No, huh? Well, can we put forth intelligible ideas? Hates our freedom, eh? Well, I think you can see for yourself the problem when most people still think terrorists attacked us "because they hate freedom", "because they're jealous", "because they're genetically inferior", "because Islam is a religion of hate", and etc. until the end of history. Our discourse isn't even bad; it's hopelessly broken and retarded to those who have at least two brain cells to rub together. |
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Has 9/11 taught us nothing?! |
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by: Charlie Sykes 2007-09-23 I didn't see any niggers in the Founding Fathers, did you? Exactly. Of course not. It'd be as preposterous as having, say, monkeys sign the Declaration of Independence. Oh wait, it'd be the same thing. Ha ha ha ha ha! |
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The 9/11 Truth Movement |
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by: Doom 2007-09-17 Suggesting 9/11 was the result of our Middle Eastern policy creating a generation of pissed off Arabs looking to any possible source of revenge against Western vested interests is far too complex for a lot of Americans, it seems. Some retreat into "he hate us cause are freedom" or "global jihad blah blah blankity blankity", while others, for essentially the same reasoning, go for "the gubahmen did it". Sure, it's not rednecks this time, but it's still the same basic logic behind it. Government do bad things, therefore government do all bad things. |
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Vote for Hillary Clinton |
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by: Ms. Feminist 2007-09-15 Ms. Clinton is not an elitist Washington insider either, or maybe she might be. Point is, she's a woman and not George W. Bush. That's, I admit, ultimately why I support her. Yes, lobbyists contribute to her campaign and it seems she's saying anything she can in order to win the nomination/election. To that I have two words to say: but still... |
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The War on 9/11 |
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by: Bill O'Reilly 2007-09-13 There's a war going on. I'm not talking about the War on Iraq, the War on Terror, the War on Drugs or even the War on Christmas. A war you're not aware about. A war the media doesn't want you to know about, despite the fact that they themselves are waging it. The War on 9/11. No, it's not a hoax or an attempt by yours truly to boost his ratings and his profits in a slow fiscal quarter. It's very real. |
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Where's bin Laden?!?! |
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by: Doom 2007-09-11 Here's a newsflash for you stupid assholes in the Congress, the blogosphere and every talking head venue that caters to the left side of the spectrum: finding bin Laden doesn't fucking matter, nor did it it ever matter, nor will it ever matter. NEVER. Looking for him wastes resources we need to use on strengthening our ties to the drug trade as well as topple foreign countries via subterfuge. Well, uh...I guess those resources are still being wasted. |
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Karl Rove, We Never Tolerated Ye |
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Karl Rove, We Never Tolerated Ye by: Doom 2007-09-09 And, really, all the 'dirty tricks' liberals whine about Rove having pulled in his political career? Almost ALL of them hinge upon the average citizen's idiocy, xenophobia, racism or laziness. For instance, the "John McCain had a black baby" thing. A shitty thing to accuse someone of, but it only has real weight if Americans hate the idea of a white man having a black child, either in wedlock or out of wedlock. |
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I was right about those Jude cops!! |
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I was right about those Jude cops!! by: Michael McGee 2007-08-28 Charlie Sykes needs to pay up because I was right about the Jude cops and he was wrong about the Jude cops and he's the one who needs to be in jail, not Michael McGee. Charlie was always preaching love. Charlie had no idea what love was. Charlie was so far from love it wasn't even funny. Death is Charlie's trip. |
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What's the problem with vigilante cops? |
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What's the problem with vigilante cops? by: Charlie Sykes 2007-08-25 The Milwaukee Police Department, despite being poorly run at times, is our ONLY line of defense from the black onslaught I call the dark half of Milwaukee. If not for the MPD, we would be an anarchistic dictatorship (with Michael McGee/Marvin Pratt at the head) with fried chicken buckets EVERYWHERE. In a democratic republic, we have to have faith in our politicians and in our police force to keep us from being besieged by negrofascism. |
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5 Reasons Why Genarlow Wilson Should Stay In Jail Forever |
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5 Reasons Why Genarlow Wilson Should Stay In Jail Forever by: Token Minority Neoconservative 2007-07-19 If you're going to engage in crazy sexual acts, at least have the decency to try and cover it up like Mark Foley. Of course, a person like me believes that black men are generally barbarians, though some can approach whiteness through leaving the liberal plantation and adopting the cause of neoconservatism. You see, teenagers make mistakes and do stupid things all the time, but Wilson decided to let his jigaboo friends show off his stupidity because he is a brute who takes advantage of innocent, pure women. |
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Midterm Failures: The Democratic "Dream" Gone Awry |
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Midterm Failures: The Democratic "Dream" Gone Awry by: Doom 2007-07-04 Or, the Democrats suck and I told you ha ha ha ha |
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Michael McGee was framed |
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by: Josiah X and Michael McGee 2007-07-04 Now, this is not the first time our fine alderman has been arrested by the white occupation forces. Some time ago, the 'city' of Wauwatosa, aka New Crackerton, arrested Michael McGee because of 'disorderly conduct'. I think all of us knows what that means in reference to a black man: racism. What else would it mean? Wauwatosa clearly did not like the fact that there was a black man in their city who was not a) shining shoes, b) shucking, c) jiving or d) appearing as a contestant on American Idol. |
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Hannity's America Review |
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by: Doom 2007-06-20 Hannity also tries to be informative, like running long flashback segments to enlighten the stupid American public what they're not smart enough to remember from 15 years. One such case is "The Clinton Chapters", an obvious ripoff of Dick Morris' old segment "Guess What I Just Found In Bill Clinton's Dumpster", which reminds viewers that Clinton did in fact do such things as sleep with an intern and drink the blood of an entire elementary school.
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Alberto Gonzales: Evil Mastermind or Idiot Stooge? |
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Alberto Gonzales: Evil Mastermind or Idiot Stooge? by: Doom 2007-05-04 This new transparency of action really hinders the Administration from doing much of, well, anything. A real evil mastermind wouldn't let a little thing like the American public stop him from imprisoning all Arabs and shredding the Constitution.
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Political Progress at Home And Abroad |
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Political Progress at Home And Abroad by: SDS Guy 2007-05-04 Hey dudes, now that, like, we all have a good idea of how to form a totally effective group to help us make world peace and stuff, we need to talk about how to, like, totally get this stuff done. You know, we need to, like, get our stuff together so we can totally make the country to where, like, no one ever fights and we, like, all get to do whatever we want and stuff and everyone's, like, really happy, and the key to this is effective use of peaceful protests and petitions in almost every case, just see for yourself. |
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Bloody Brits! |
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by: Iranian Uncle 2007-04-28 For days those sailors wouldn't admit to their trespassing in our water! They maintained their innocence, something we know the West is quite incapable of, for the West is never innocent of any accusation the Mighty Nation of Iran puts forth! They were quite good at their lies is all I can say! At least their consciences finally got to them and they confessed! |
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Johnny Alcoholic's Presidential Traits |
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Johnny Alcoholic's Presidential Traits by: Johnny Alcoholic 2007-04-17 [Picks up 12 pack of Milwaukee's Finest] |
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Bush is, in fact, not a good President |
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Bush is, in fact, not a good President by: Carenage 2007-04-09 Even though our current Resident-in-Chief (get it? He didn't win in 2000 or 2004, so he's the RESIDENT in Chief? I totally am considering thinking about turning the phrase 'Resident in Chief' into a bumper sticker and putting it on my hybrid bike) has an approval rating of 30% or so, I think people need to know more about his crimes against the United States of America and democracy as a whole. |
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Hey, let's form a non-violent coalition, man |
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Hey, let's form a non-violent coalition, man by: SDS Guy 2007-04-09 I consider myself a Democratic Socialist, because Socialists, Marxists and Communists are too revolutionary and mean. They believe the need for a vanguard to help bring about the revolution, whereas I believe we can bring about change just by thinking positive and voting for change. All the system needs is the votes to go a different way, not a massive overhaul or rejection of the system entirely, man. We're anticorporate, us Democratic Socialists, but not in a violent way. |
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Affirmative Action Rules! |
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by: Pseudo-Intellectual College Student Douchebag 2007-04-09 The Pilgrims were even so kind enough to treat the native Indians (the minorities) to a Thanksgiving dinner. This act of kindness was the first step in creating social equality for uneducated, economically under-developed, dark skinned peoples. |
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I'm black, in a progressive sort of way |
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I'm black, in a progressive sort of way by: Barack Obama 2007-04-05 I'm running for President to help ALL Americans, but most especially the rich white Americans who donate money to my campaign. If they told me to put on a diaper and throw bananas everywhere, I would (although I would only defecate in the diaper and then transfer the diaper to my head if they approved my ideas for Barack Obama T-shirts, bobbleheads and commemorative coasters). |
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Let's do something about Darfur! |
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Let's do something about Darfur! by: Carenage 2007-04-01 Another method I found to work well is holding a seminar on Darfur at your college. One thing college students like to do, even more than drinking and smoking pot, is going to depressing seminars on complex geopolitical situations with no real conclusion to draw workable answers from. |
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Hacks off to the 110th Congress |
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Hacks off to the 110th Congress by: Doom 2007-03-10 Don't let the empty promises fool you. Nancy Pelosi claiming the 110th will be a more open and just one is a crock of shit. EVERY SINGLE CONGRESS SAYS THEY'LL BE THE BEST ONE YET. And every time, each one of them fails to live up to the hype. Don't take the platitudes seriously, it saves you future headaches. None of it matters, similar to the idea of 'change'. Every Presidential candidate runs on the idea of 'change'. Fuck, even George W. Bush did in 2000. You shouldn't trust her one bit, not because she looks like a grandmother. |
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Fuck Supporting the Troops |
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by: Doom 2007-03-10 What these pseudo-patriots do is buy stupid fucking ribbons and staple them to their SUV, thinking a show of their support will lead to the Iraqi insurgency seeing the ribbon and yelling "We must stop this! The United States supports its troops too much for us to handle! Insurgents VANISH! [puff of smoke]". |
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Barack Obama: One Smart Nigger |
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Barack Obama: One Smart Nigger by: Joe Biden 2007-03-04 Listen to one of his speeches. You'll hear his great articulation. Instead of saying 'axe', he says 'ask'. Instead of saying 'nigga', he uses the preferred, proper term of either 'nigger' or 'negro'. Usually people of his type (by that I mean young Senators. What did you think I meant, black people? Oh, I'm no racist!) don't enunciate or speak as well as regular white (er, experienced Senators) folk. But Obama is the exception. If you closed your eyes and listened to one of his speeches, you'd think it was a white man talking. |
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Affirmative Blacktion |
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by: The Libertarian 2007-03-01 If we think about what kind of borderline low high school grade students are getting bumped, we are looking at America's future managers and CEOs. We are literally destroying the future upper-class as we speak. I don't know what stinks of communism more than making would be managers and CEO's go work at menial gas station attendee positions just because "their grades were low" or "they ran out of slots for past alumni's children". |
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The Half Hour News Hour |
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by: Doom, the Red Fox, Bruce Banner/The Hulk, Dizz and Generalissimo Furioso 2007-02-28 The Half Hour News Hour is definitely the Right Brothers of televised satire. |
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Israel's President: I Was Right |
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Israel's President: I Was Right by: Lorne Michaels 2007-02-17 A lot of kikes have already Jew-mailed me about inaccuracies in my postings on Stormfront. They tell me, "Shalom, oy vey! The President of Israel only has ceremonial powers, and then other ones like pardoning prisoners and commuting sentences!" To which I say, exactly. Under the powers vested in him by the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, Cohen can pardon criminals, like all of the Jewish mob or the infamous Baby Eating Cult that operated out of Tel Aviv. Didn't you fucking kike sympathizers read the Jewspiracy Dossier by David Duke? |
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Why People No Longer Support The Iraq War |
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Why People No Longer Support The Iraq War by: Doom 2007-02-14 Americans hate bad news. I cannot begin to recall how many times I've heard people say the news is too negative and focuses on all the bad things that happen in the world. Uh...fuck you. You're the reason filler bullshit like human interest stories and 'cat stuck in tree' gets shown on the news too often. THERE IS NO GLASS HALF FULL SCENARIO FOR DARFUR AND PALESTINE, YOU STUPID FUCKING SHITHEADS. |
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Ronald Reagan: Our Real Worst President |
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Ronald Reagan: Our Real Worst President by: Doom 2007-02-14 I still hold out hope for my one true dream to occur: pissing on Reagan's defiled remains, then dancing on his grave. Or perhaps a mound of needles from homosexual men to cover his tombstone and burial mound. That'd be fitting for such a homophobic bastard. |
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The Fake Left |
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by: Doom 2007-02-08 The 110th is largely marked by cowardice, most notably seen in their whining over the Iraq War. YOU'RE FUCKING CONGRESS. STOP FUNDING THE FUCKING WAR AND BUSH CAN'T WAGE IT ANYMORE. GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULLS, YOU YELLOW BELLIED HACKS: NO MONEY, NO WAR. YOU CONTROL THE GOVERNMENT'S MONEY. GET THE GODDAMN PICTURE?! |
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Demythologizing Iran |
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by: Doom and Commando 2007-01-31 And speaking of Holocaust denial, the West fares no better; in a poll, 28% of 18-29 year old respondents in England weren't sure if the Holocaust was a myth. In 2005 a U.S. government report labeled Holocaust deniers as 'scholars'. Thank God for the enlightened West, or else the freakish, backwards and evil Arabic nations would rule the world with their ignorance. |
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State of the Union 2007 |
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by: Nixon 2007-01-25 For starters, Bush noted that the State of the Union is in fact strong, contrary to popular belief. This of course should catch no one off-guard because while Bush has been brought to admitting that sometimes he has made bad decisions (see: his Iraq Plan speech) he hasn't come to terms with his presidency being an abysmal failure and a blight upon this nation. So, we're still strong in his eyes, at least.
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Bush: Idiot or Retard? |
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by: Doom 2007-01-25 This raises all sorts of questions about what Bush can do if he struggles with the basic act of constructing sentences. Can he put on socks? Can he turn knobs? Does he need assistance when chewing food? When he fucks Laura (or Condi, for when he's feeling really randy), do you think Cheney or an aide or someone else holds Bush's cock so the semen doesn't spray wildly and stain the bedspread? After all, what else are 'handlers' supposed to do?
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Fox News Channel: Brilliant Propaganda, Non-News |
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Fox News Channel: Brilliant Propaganda, Non-News by: Commando 2007-01-25 Conservatives, on the other hand, are your "everyday Joe". They stick to their guns and love their country. Liberals are acceptable on Fox inasmuch as keeping enemies close. The party line comes through when it becomes obvious the station itself supports very particular views on policy, especially when friendly conservatives chat amicably with conservative hosts in contrast to the argument and distress apparent when liberals come on the network. |
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Bush's New Iraq Plan |
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by: Nixon 2007-01-22 Okay, let's recap five years of blunders. In 2001, Islamic terrorists blew up the World Trade Center, culminating years of both building religious fanaticism in the Middle East and anti-American sentiment world wide. For one moment the world paused, felt bad for us, and even offered to help us deal with terrorist organization that perpetrated the act, Al "Trained by the CIA" Qaeda. |
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FUCK YOU KILLBOT FACTORY!!! |
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by: Dizz 2007-01-17 He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting. Then he wakes up from his wet dream and goes and tortures and kills those same innocents. |
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America: Fuck You! |
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by: Iranian Uncle 2007-01-09 Your women are no much better! Letting their hair show as well as their ankles! It is a disgrace to the eyes of the all mighty Allah! PRIASE HIM!!! Where in the name of Mohammed are the burkhas and the hujabs for these harlots?! If they did not dress in such a scantily clad manner, then perhaps all these black men would not rape them! |
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Andrew Jackson: Our Worst President |
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Andrew Jackson: Our Worst President by: Nixon 2007-01-06 It's hard to think of a nicer set, in generalization, of presidents than our first 6. Before Democrat and Republican, before campaign commercials or, hell, even national touring, our nation elected, well, intellectuals. People weren't voting on the guy who they wanted to most have a beer with, or go to church with, or even the guy with the best haircut. They were electing men of education to a position of incredible importance, leading the nation. Until Andrew Jackson fucked it all up. |
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The New Slavery |
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by: Nixon 2007-01-06 The base problem is thus: when we see people doing shitty jobs, like washing our floors or making our fast food, we want something to object to. In the old "if you aren't laughing you're crying" sense, if we can't nitpick and bitch, we feel sorry for them. And we, as a culture, hate feeling sorry. Feeling sorry is why we pipe money into charities when we do nothing charitable in person. Feeling sorry is why we gave money to tsunami victims who we usually criticize for stealing American jobs like making shoes in hellish conditions. |
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Saddam Hussein: Mission Accomplished |
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Saddam Hussein: Mission Accomplished by: Doom 2007-01-03 Oh, wait, shit. I forgot. Our mission wasn't 'Kill Saddam Hussein'! Shit. We're fucked now. I spent hundreds buying banners and party hats and other paraphernalia related to celebrating Saddam's death as the last event in the Iraq War! What the hell am I supposed to do with 300 party favors that unfold into a noose and Saddam Hussein's lifeless corpse after you blow into it? |
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Gerald Ford: Down the Memory Hole We Go! |
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Gerald Ford: Down the Memory Hole We Go! by: Doom 2007-01-03 One only wonders what the funerals for Bush I and Bush II will be like. "George H.W. Bush's Persian Gulf War forced evil villain Saddam Hussein to toe the line, until he continued to brutalize his people throughout the 90's." "George W. Bush healed the nation's national nightmare of 9/11 by killing many, many Iraqis. God bless him. Good night, sweet prince."
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Withdraw from Iraq six months from now now! |
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Withdraw from Iraq six months from now now! by: Carenage 2006-12-28 The far-left seeks a withdrawal of troops NOW instead of six months from now now. While a very valid and appreciated viewpoint in the marketplace of ideas and I'm certainly not discounting their view or calling it invalid, I (this is just my personal opinion) do not believe such a withdrawal is the best solution possible. This is for a few important reasons. First, if we withdraw now, we're not really doing a solid for the Iraqi people, man.
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The Not-So-Democratic Revolution |
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The Not-So-Democratic Revolution by: Nixon 2006-12-25 So, from that angle the Democrats lose the House when Evangelicals show back up in the polls, which would be...2008. I can't honestly imagine them sleeping through a presidential election, especially if their Own Personal Anti-Christ Hillary Clinton ran for the office. Or Obama. Fucking darkie. They haven't gone away since the movement started, and in the classical Panadora's Box sense, once you let them into politics, they don't leave (for further evidence see: Iraq). |
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Happy Feet Review |
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by: Bill O'Reilly 2006-12-25 This is America, Mr. Happy Feet. We don't take too kindly to people trying to multiculture up our culture with 'differences' and 'opposing viewpoints' and other such obvious communist propaganda. In the Culture War (buy my book to read more about the Culture War), we have a name for people who try to indoctrinate our kids with negative feelings like tolerance and understanding: Secular-Progressives. To find out where to find these deviants, read my latest book, Culture Warrior in the Pacific Theatre: The Differences Between Chink Secularists and Jap Traditionalists. |
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We're losing the spirit of the War on Christmas |
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We're losing the spirit of the War on Christmas by: Doom 2006-12-25 The core tenet of the War on Christmas is bullshit. Prophets O'Reilly and Gibson prove this to be true. However, I'm seeing less and less of it as time goes on. I hear far more "Happy Feet is evil" carols than "the liberals are destroying Columbus Day" hymns. Listen, this the season to FIGHT FOR CHRISTMAS. Not any other bullshit related to the erosion of Christianity and morals in America. ONLY THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS IS ALLOWED. |
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The War on The War on Christmas |
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The War on The War on Christmas by: Bill O'Reilly 2006-12-02 This is fearmongering by the SPs designed to turn the unwashed masses onto atheism and science and all those other disturbing 'modern' things. Michael Moore, Cindy Sheehan, other anti-American troop haters want to turn this great country of ours into Iran. You know what Iran doesn't have? Christmas. And more importantly, a War on Christmas. |
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Places We Need to Invade |
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by: Sgt. Major 2006-12-01 SYRIA - THE UNITED STATES MILITARY DOESN'T HAVE COORDINATES ON SYRIA YET, TRUE! TO BE HONEST WE DON'T KNOW WHAT OR WHERE SYRIA IS! AHOORAH! THAT'S NEVER STOPPED US FROM MURDER AND IT WON'T STOP US THIS TIME! SYRIANS SOUND SANDNIGGER-LIKE AND OUR GREAT DICTATOR GEORGE W. BUSH SAID TO THE ARMED FORCES IN HIS WAR ON TERROR DECLARATION, "KILL ALL THE MUSLIMS [AKA SANDNIGGERS], BOYS!" |
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Meet the New Villain, as Corrupt as the Old Villain |
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Meet the New Villain, as Corrupt as the Old Villain by: Doom 2006-11-13 Robert Gates, the fuck of the hour, served as Deputy Director of the CIA when all the fun unfolded. During zee Bush Regime, Magilla has appointed a number of deeply involved Iran-Contra shitbags to high-level posts. Words fail me. Robert Gates originally was nominated to head Homeland Security (what a great idea) but someone appropriately said, "Are you out of your fucking mind, Bush? Forget you ever thought of the idea, shithead," ending Gates' second period of terror prematurely. |
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HAHAHA DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE MOTHERFUCKER BYE BYE |
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HAHAHA DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE MOTHERFUCKER BYE BYE by: Doom 2006-11-13 10. John McCain said he'd commit suicide if the Democrats won. It's true. When asked what he'd do if the unlikely event of Democrat takeover of the Senate happened, McCain responded with 'kill myself'. We're waiting, Mr. Senator/Mr. Douchebag. Take the GOP cock out of your mouth for a moment and replace it with a gun. I'm happy to provide the gun for you if you don't have one of your own. |
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Politics News Briefs: Week of November 15th, 2006 |
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Politics News Briefs: Week of November 15th, 2006 by: Press Release Man 2006-11-13 In a shocking turn of events, Alan Keyes (R-Ill.) lost in the Congressional race for the 12th district of Illinois, despite facing no opposition from any other party or candidate, by a total of 29 votes. Despite massive campaigning and frequent televised debates with no one, Keyes amassed a total of 0 votes. "It's unprecedented," said local Republican Party leader Bob Howard. "All voters had to do was fill in his Congressional race on the ballot! No one else ran!" |
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Es ist Mein Seat |
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by: Heinrich "Jim" Sensenbrenner 2006-11-07 There is, then, no danger in the circumstances that spic-hating will disappear, for it is the Hispanics themselves who add fuel to its flames and see that it is kept well stoked. Before the opposition to it can disappear, the malady itself must disappear. And from that point of view, you can rely on the Hispanics: as long as they survive, spic-hating will never fade. |
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Raider/Counter-Raider: The Great Tennessee Senatorial Debate |
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Raider/Counter-Raider: The Great Tennessee Senatorial Debate by: Bob Corker and Harold Ford, Jr. 2006-11-07 Harold Ford, Jr.: Meesa not smart enough to know what homosexuality is, mmhm! Meesa going to smack lips instead of answer question of homosexuality! Smack smack smack smack smack smack smack! Now meesa's goin' lissen meself some rap music, okay massah? Smack smack smack wack some hos kill some bitches smack smack smack jig jig jig! |
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The Apocalypse: The Upside Of |
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by: Mark Green 2006-11-07 I stand for Wisconsin values, and one of Wisconsin's values according to me is hating gay people. Though the Anti-Christ, being the inverse of Christ, therefore loves men in a sexual way, he still adopts a very strong anti-gay policy like all closeted Republicans. According to my meetings with him, gays have a status lower than dogs when America is liberated from the Jewocrats by the forces of Hell. The Anti-Christ stated, "To ironically punish them for their sinning, the demons will rape the gays continually for eternity." |
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Vote for Me! |
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by: John McCain 2006-11-07 Critics accuse of me several egregious charges: flipflopping, pragmatism in place of any true political principles, and overall desiring political victory over anything else. Look, the photo opportunities with Jerry Falwell do look out of place considering my criticism of him several years ago. But can't a man change his mind on some matters, like whether or not he can afford to criticize Jerry Falwell while running for President? There are times where I can afford to be a maverick, like when I don't have to worry about running for anything, and times where I need to destroy all my principles in favor of getting ahead in life. |
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Are YOU ready for the Joementum? |
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Are YOU ready for the Joementum? by: Joe Lieberman 2006-11-07 The Connecticut for Lieberman Party has a long tradition of standing for what is right: an active foreign policy poised to build democracies around the world, strict censorship of entertainment, no affirmative action, and, most importantly, a desire to see Joe Lieberman reelected. While still holding unique political philosophies, all members of the party unite and show solidarity when it comes to elections, unlike SOME parties who promote individual thought. |
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Michael Moore is in fact quite corpulent |
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Michael Moore is in fact quite corpulent by: Bruce Banner 2006-10-31 I cite the superlative work of Dr. R. Limbaugh, who, in his latest thesis "Fatness and Brain Activity" posited the following: "Fat, when consumed by the obese, enters not from the mouth into the stomach, but instead through the skin and it goes into the brain, in turn blocking many synapses needed for higher cognitive functions, such as arguments and logic." |
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Republican Winning Strategies: 2006 Edition |
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Republican Winning Strategies: 2006 Edition by: Doom 2006-10-18 If those secular-progressive-Commie-Jewtheists over at the ACLU complain, well, direct them to a little thing called the Declaration of Independence, which says "All men are created equal". Good luck finding even ONE Republican who considers Hispanics, blacks, or Arabs 'men' or even the more inclusive 'people'. |
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Telling the difference between Neo-Conservatives and Neo-Nazis |
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Telling the difference between Neo-Conservatives and Neo-Nazis by: Doom 2006-10-15 When I talk attributes, I'm talking attitudes. Neo-Nazis skew towards asshole in the traditional sense, where an asshole beats you up, calls you a fag, steals your lunch money, etc., but with a unique wrinkle of continual complaining about being oppressed by the minority forces of America, specifically the Axis of Judaism and Whites In Blood Only. It's tough to be an oppressed militant asshole, but I gotta hand it to them, the Neo-Nazis manage to pull it off easily. |
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Islamofascism is lamo fascism |
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by: Lorne Michaels 2006-10-07 I see no consolidation at all to be honest, and terrorists cannot be seen as real fascists. They have no nation-state and they wear no jackboots, just silly clothing and homosexualist beards. Do I see any mention of autarky? No. I'd be fine with mongrels stealing that to better themselves and to kill Jews, but apparently autarky isn't understandable to those monkeys. |
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Don't Blame Me, Blame My Scapegoats |
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Don't Blame Me, Blame My Scapegoats by: Mark Foley 2006-10-07 Pedophilia was a horrible, horrible fetish and a horrible, horrible crime before 9/11. But then 9/11 happened and everything changed. You can't view something using your pre-9/11 mindset, everything looks distorted that way. It's the same when it comes to airport security. Before 9/11, we never thought our airports were particularly insecure, but after 9/11 we learned they were. And now we're at war, and things change during war. |
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Other Government Pedophiles |
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by: Doom 2006-10-04 Dennis Hastert may not regularly engage in tempting little boys himself, but you can't tell me he didn't see some of Foley's conversations and read them one-handed if you understand what I'm getting at. Hastert covered it up for a reason, and the reason is he jerked off to Foley's efforts. Why else did Foley stay on the Missing and Exploited Children Caucus for so long? Hell, he and Hastert likely had an "Abduct/Jerk Off Children" two phase plan, which I hope is fairly self-explanatory. |
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Sony Announces Entrance Into Competitive Field Of Being Iran |
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Sony Announces Entrance Into Competitive Field Of Being Iran by: Press Release Man 2006-09-24 "Essentially, we want to do what we did for video games to Iran, replicating our general strategy and formula for success. First, we will partner with our own internal development teams and third parties, including Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, to come up with promising repressive legislature and insane ideas. Look for titles like "The Jews Can't Prove It" and "We Will Not Rest Until Israel Is Isn'trael" to hit by next fall at the earliest." |
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President Bush September 11th, 2006 Speech Analysis |
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President Bush September 11th, 2006 Speech Analysis by: John Madden 2006-09-23 It's bad taste to bring up Iraq, a completely separate game, into a speech about a specific War on Terror season. Worst of all, this segues into his talk on justifying his plays during the Iraq game. It'd be like Vince Lombardi talking specifically about the first Super Bowl win right after winning the second. We don't want to hear about the previous one, we want to hear about the current one. It's just bad sportsmanship and a slap in the face to fans who have supported this franchise even after ratings have dropped 50%. |
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The Amazing Democrat No-Plan for 2006 |
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The Amazing Democrat No-Plan for 2006 by: Dick Gephardt 2006-08-31 In order to come up with an issue for us to make our number one priority, we scoured the books, the Loser Guide to Losing, the Michael Dukakis autobiography, Jimmy Carter interviews, until finally we stumbled upon a mid-80's Democrat proposed bill which never saw the light of day: raising the sales tax to 100%. It's an issue with 0% support, and very vocal no-support, so it's perfect for us. We will beat this issue into the ground, so much so no one opposed to it can in good conscience vote for ANY Democrat thanks to the 100% sales tax idea. |
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Privatize Everything |
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by: The Libertarian 2006-08-29 If a war is unjust, vote using your dollar. Stop buying Comcast's products and watch a war end. Much better system than the current one of United Nations and all this other bureaucracy. Let the market choose what wars to support! My first suggestion: Time Warner's War against the homeless. A bunch of volunteers and mercenaries clean up the streets, by vaporizing the homeless and then cleaning the ash off the streets. |
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The Death Tax and Minimum Wage |
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The Death Tax and Minimum Wage by: The Libertarian 2006-08-20 Look at the agrarian South before the Civil War! The plantation owners didn't give slaves a dime and look how the cotton industry and all the other industries strived in that period. If not for the jealous North, the South would still be a highly successful economy, the envy of the rest of the world. If plantation owners paid the slaves, I can tell you one thing: there'd be less people picking cotton and therefore less productivity. |
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Illegals? Ew!! |
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by: The Libertarian 2006-07-20 Instead, larger, more profitable and caring companies, would flood the market with well-priced illegal immigrants. And boy, the illegals' price flexibility is only the start. Hard working, English speaking illegal immigrants with no predisposition to knife fights, filthiness and Reggaeton. Not only that, illegals bestowed with state of the art home entertainment capabilities and nice housekeeping functions make the chances of popularity of Mexican illegals for the suburban consumer slim to none. |
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Lebanon vs. Israel: Who to root for? |
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Lebanon vs. Israel: Who to root for? by: Lorne Michaels 2006-07-19 This conflict will usher in a new era of White Dominance. A new Reich that will truly last 1000 years! I can't wait for it. You're history, Finesse Mitchell! |
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An Inconvenient Truth Review |
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by: Bill O'Reilly 2006-07-08 Gore sensationalizes global warming to make it a real threat but people just don't worry about how hot it is, Al. Ever hear of sunblock and air conditioning? We should really focus on those rat-like, disgusting illegal immigrants infecting our way of life with their 'Spanish' and 'job-taking' instead of silly threats like hurricanes and melting ice caps. Since when did a hurricane cause any damage to anything? |
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Conservative Merchandise 2 |
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by: Doom 2006-06-15 ThoseShirts.com is one of the most concentrated dens of idiocy and horrible capitalism since the glory years of when you could get the phrase "I Got No Problems With Niggers" on a T-shirt. |
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The Gayest Article to Ever Grace the Daily Raider |
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The gayest Article to Ever Grace the Daily Raider by: The Jewker 2006-06-10 They say that those who are homophobic really fear that they themselves might be homosexual. This is not to imply that the Right Wing is afraid of admitting to being gay as it is they are just afraid of admitting how much they love gay people. |
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Jury Duty Reform Now! |
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by: The Libertarian 2006-05-29 Why should I be forced to fight in World War II? I pay MY taxes! Make some homeless person serve, they have nothing better to do with their time anyway. |
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Illegal Immigrants: Threat or Menace |
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Illegal Immigrants: Threat or Menace by: Doom 2006-05-04 Even when it was the bears, I knew it was the immigrants! |
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Tom DeLay: In Memoriam |
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by: Nixon 2006-04-26 Here's to corruption scandal number two, Tommy! |
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Wiretapping |
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by: Richard Nixon 2006-04-01 Okay, only two presidents were ever caught "red-handed" wiretapping Americans for what some people would say is "no reason". But that's an unfair assumption about the other presidents. They wire tapped, they just weren't so proud as to announce it as Bush and I were. We know where the limits of the executive branch are, and unlike that upstart Reagan we aren't afraid to be caught pushing them. It's not like Bush or I ever used wiretapping in a way that hurt everyday Americans. |
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Diversity? Bah!! |
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by: Michael Savage 2006-04-01 AND THEN THE ACLU WOULD AGREE WITH THEM AND SUE ME TO SHUT ME UP BECAUSE NO THE MEXICANS ALWAYS HAD MEATBALL BURRITOS AND THE WHITE MAN IS ALWAYS LYING THEN JEWISH MEDIA WOULD ATTACK MY CHARACTER WHILE HELPING ARABS TO ATTACK AMERICA AND LOWER THE PRESIDENTS POLL NUMBERS THEN HOLLYWOOD ELITE WOULD PROTEST IRAQ AND CINDY SHEEHAN WOULD JEW LIBERAL ELITE HATE AMERICA DESTROY VALUES FIREFIGHTERS JEW TERRORIST WAR CRIME MEATBALLS AAAAAAAH308GJ43PGUBJWKTBLRHT. |
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A Plea for Statehood |
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by: Gary Rammspieler 2006-04-01 We don't pay taxes now, and I think that's really a shame! What better way to prove our loyalty as American citizens, besides being the first ones to get sent to the battlefront, than by paying taxes? But I must admit that it's pretty damn nice of Uncle Sam to give us money without expecting nothing in return. It really comes to show just how nice America is and that all those other countries don't know what they're talking about when they say that America is bad! |
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In Defense of George W. Bush |
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by: Cobra 2006-04-01 Osama bin Laden was alive when Clinton was in office. He wasn't arrested and executed by Clinton because Clinton was too busy HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN to notice that our national security was at risk from a raghead foreigner. Bush may have known ahead of time but who can really blame him for not doing anything with the knowledge? He was on vacation. You don't blame your boss who's on vacation for your failures, unless you're a liberal. |
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Middle East Predictions |
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by: Nixon 2006-03-29 No one seriously thinks the Jews and the Palestinians will ever stop fighting each other, especially not whoever we send over every 6 months to hold a peace conference. It's like the, "I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on Earth" joke except in this case it's the, "I wouldn't stop fighting you if we were the only two cultures on Earth" joke. And yes, it is most definitely a joke. |
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The Democrats |
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by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2006-03-22 HULK SMASH ANYONE WHO LAUGHS AT HOWARD DEAN FOR YELLING. IF HULK WAS HOWARD DEAN AND HULK LOST ELECTION CHANCE CAUSE OF YELLING, HULK WOULD SMASH UP DEMOCRAT PARTY AND FOX NEWS, THEN SAY "HOWARD DEAN STRONGER THAN ALL...STRONG ENOUGH TO BE PRESIDENT! VOTE HOWARD DEAN NOW OR BE SMASHED!" |
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Toby Keith Iran Plan! |
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by: Toby Keith 2006-02-14 Christianity is the only way I can stop callin' the Iranians "sand niggers". I mean, once you're Christian the only people I call niggers are the blacks. From here on out it would be all "my semi-Latino lookin' compadres" cause like I always say, they look more Mex than nig. Plus think of all the side benefits. More places to take missionary trips too, more places to sing concerts at, more places to build Bible Domes. The possibilities are endless. I mean, shit, we could have like Irano-Disneyland and unlike those godless Frenchies someone would probably show up. |
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State of the Union 2006 |
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by: Nixon 2006-02-07 It's not just that the speech was a mix of the same old shit + lies, but that there was no effort to be even remotely realistic in the same old shit + lies. Bush made such hilarious claims as "cut the deficit in half by 2009" to "no one out-competing the American worker" to my all time favorite "America is addicted to oil". The coy, smirky look never left Bush's face either. It was that same "I'm spewing and they're buying" look that says to anyone who can look beyond face value "I'm just fucking with you". But on the bright side, the State of the Union is...well, whatever you want to claim it is. |
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Republityping |
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by: Nixon 2006-02-07 Society generally frowns upon stereotyping. It leads to racism, ignorance, and pointless mistrust. However, society loves categorizing, which is like stereotyping, only everyone does it. Well, it is stereotyping, but people don't get as riled over saying "he's emo" as they do say, "he's emo, so he's obviously a homofag." As such, while this article does not try to stereotype Republicans* (*well, it does) it tries to categorize them in to real life groups that actually exist, in order to better understand a political party that spans more groups of white men and suburban women then, well, most conservative movements in the world. The categories try to examine the who and the why between each part, and will appear in no particular order of size. Importance wise, each group lends its own power to the Republicans. |
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Hillary Clinton: Socialist or Communist? |
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Hillary Clinton: Socialist or Communist? by: Doom 2006-01-16 But the similarities between Clinton's stances and Marxist theory don't stop there. For example, Hillary Clinton is in favor of women's rights, policies including but not limited to: equal pay, equal rights, the right to do what they wish with their bodies and for all intents and purposes be seen as just as good as men. SO WAS MARX. She's also in favor of all children getting a good public education so that they can go on to become enlightened individuals that will lead our country into the future. Guess who else was in favor of that? Mr. Karl Marx. |
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Everything's Going to be Okay! |
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Everything's Going to be Okay! by: MS Halo Helper 2006-01-16 Losing the war in Iraq and turning it into a mini-Iran in Tehran's pocket is nothing bad compared to the good we will be doing by trying to impulse save everyone's favorite established-without-foresight country! Win win! |
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Liberal Merchandise |
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by: Toby Keith, Bill O'Reilly, Pope John Paul II, Crazy Montana Militia Guy, Lorne Michaels and Jack Thompson 2005-12-20 Peace? Peace never got no one anywhere and takin' arms and startin' war against the people who're taxin and spyin' on us are the only ways we's gonna fight the real problems in this here country. First problem, keepin' the guhvament outta our pocket and bizness, second problem, keepin' the Jew from takin' our money, and third problem, can keep de nigger from goin' to are schools. My shotgun's stopped 12 niggers from goin' to my daughter's school; how many has yer peace sign stopped? |
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Surviving Bill O'Reilly |
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by: Doom 2005-12-18 Scare tactics are a proven method on how to brainwash the masses, such as in the Cold War or the War on Terror with "Those Godless Commies" or "Osama bin Laden attacked us because he hates our freedom". If these people think their freedom, in this case, the freedom to celebrate Christmas is in question, the sectors that care about Christmas will be fearful of the Commie Jews taking away their trees and lights and empty sentiment. Cook up a few things that may end up being proven false, you will have all you need to galvanize a group of people into taking action. |
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RightNation.Us Blogs |
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by: Doom 2005-12-11 I theorize that while Reagan was mind-comatose (somewhere in his second term), some CIA agents milked him, and sent his sperm out to every sperm bank in the United States. And thus, Neo Conservatism was born! |
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A Few Modest (American) Proposals |
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A Few Modest (American) Proposals by: Nixon 2005-11-17 Yes, the Republicans need to shoot for the grand year of 1901, back when the world was right. Sexuality was repressed, blacks were under Jim Crow (something apparently the Supreme Court rules "un-constitutional" these days), and when you needed a war you sailed to Central America, not Iraq. And you won those wars too! |
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John Kerry: Waffles Anyone?? Annotations |
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John Kerry: Waffles Anyone?? Annotations by: Doom 2005-10-28 Cobra doesn't realize that the War on Terror is a colossal failure unless you consider Iraqi citizens 'terrorists'. Oh, who am I kidding. Of course he thinks that. |
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Jordan Powell |
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by: Doom 2005-10-08 "Bush Tax Cuts NOT Just for the Rich. Seriously, it's true." |
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G.I. Joe Boards: Yo Jingoism! |
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by: Doom 2005-10-01 "To me, Sukma Dix is about like the stuff that your body rejects whenever you eat. It pollutes the main Gi Joe forum." |
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Fake Conservative Merchandise |
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by: Nixon 2005-09-28 Zell Miller Trick or Treat Costume. Sure, it's just a straight jacket with "FUCKING NIGGER MUSIC" scrawled on the back, but it's the thought that counts. |
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Conservative Merchandise |
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by: Doom, Nixon, the Red Fox, Rammspieler, Scarecrow and the Iranian 2005-09-07 Is Reaganite a specific term for Neanderthal morons who play with voodoo economics and want to dissolve the separation of church and state while worshipping a shitty slimeball muppet President who appeared to have Down's syndrome by his second term? If so, thank God. Now I don't have to call them 'Neanderthal morons who play with voodoo economics and want to dissolve the separation of church and state while worshipping a shitty slimeball muppet President who appeared to have Down's syndrome by his second term'. Reaganites is much catchier. |
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News blogs |
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by: Nixon 2005-05-15 What is truly frightening about this whole blog craze is that it’s invented by the people who are expected to be erased by them. It’s the media who is calling themselves dinosaurs and then pointing to these ‘upstarts’ and saying “See, see, they will replace us for sure!” |
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British Realpolitik |
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by: Doom 2005-02-15
Pack of fags, mate. |
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Anti-Americans are wrong |
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by: Toby Keith 2005-01-30 America has always been the greatest country in the world. It's a proven fact. Europe has never done anything to help the world, other than start wars and make stupid food. If you oppose America, you oppose freedom. And liberals right now might be saying, "I like America, just not the current administration!". Well, the majority voted in this government, and the majority is always right, unless a faggot liberal somehow cheats his way into office. |
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Realpolitik |
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by: Doom 2004-10-28
MC Cabinet ain't nothin' to fuck with. |
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