Best viewed in 1280x1024
The Daily Raider is brought to you by the Project for an Unamerican Century and the Ronnie Gardocki Beard Preservation Society. The Daily Raider accepts donations, but we will only use them for liquor, cocaine and South American prostitutes.
|
|
Bryce Harper, Conservative Hero, Mark Judge, Inveterate Idiot |
|
|
Bryce Harper, Conservative Hero, Mark Judge, Inveterate Idiot by: Doom 2012-07-31 So not only is Jason Heyward lazy, he's akin to a public school teacher or Barack Obama, both emblematic of not trying hard and achieving without any individual effort. Now, one might say that becoming the first black President of the United States when he was the son of a single mother raised in Indonesia who had to overcome institutional racism in order to succeed at Harvard and become the Democratic nominee for President after less than one term in the United States Senate suggests he actually did have to put in a lot of hard work to achieve his goals. |
|
|
|
9/11 Review |
|
|
by: Doom 2011-09-11 For one thing, it's been done before, in reality and in fiction. What exactly were the terrorists thinking, choosing a target that was already used for a 1993 bombing and ripping off the fucking execution from the pilot episode of an X-Files spinoff? Talk about unoriginality. |
|
|
|
Haha, fuck you, America! |
|
|
by: Osama bin Laden 2011-09-11 "But Osama, you died. The Obama killed you! We won!" Okay, so I'm dead. Yeah, and? I'm chilling with some 72 virgins up here while my group's actions still affect you suckers down there on Earth. Your economy remains in ruins, your military is overburdened in multiple territories, the world despises you for your authoritarian overreach and you have not even seen tangible benefits from stealing from the oil fields of the countries you have tried to conquer. |
|
|
|
9/11 and football: too much for one day |
|
|
9/11 and football: too much for one day by: Doom 2011-09-11 We have a problem, and it's not the economy, the gutting of social spending or the fact that every single Republican presidential candidate save, uh, Huntsman and perhaps Romney, would pass a sanity test on their best day. It's that the tenth anniversary of our nation's greatest and most fantastic terrorist attack falls on the same Sunday as the first week of the NFL season. Clearly this doesn't work. Something has to be done about this scheduling conflict. |
|
|
|
9/11: The Best Lay I Ever Had |
|
|
by: Rudy Giuliani 2011-09-11 Things hadn't gone great for me for a while back then. I didn't get a Senate seat, my last term as mayor was winding down, my prostate was all fucked up with cancer, I was dealing with divorce from my third wife and separation from my fourth wife. Everything was grim until those planes. Those planes, man. Those sexy Boeings 767s streaking across the sky, hitting those towers, the impact resulting in huge explosions of fire and ash and infrastructural damage, I came so hard my intern/wife complained of throat pain for weeks. |
|
|
|
50 ways the Daily Raider is dealing with the economic depression |
|
|
50 ways the Daily Raider is dealing with the economic depression by: Doom 2009-01-28 |
|
|
|
Things I've Done Since My Last Article |
|
|
Things I've Done Since My Last Article by: Ronin 2008-11-12 As most of you Raiderites know, I have been AWOL for a couple of months....I think. I barely remember what happened yesterday anymore. So for my return I have compiled a list of things I've done in my break from the Raider. |
|
|
|
We Do Things Differently in Nevada |
|
|
We Do Things Differently in Nevada by: Nevada Brown 2008-09-24 Yeah, I'm parking in the handicapped spot. No gross old bastard in a Hoveround is gonna fuck with me. I got Calvin pissing on a Ford sticker, dig? I don't fuck around! Anyways, only a liberal activist judge would give a shit, and we don't vote for fags in Nevada, and especially not welfare babies - I don't care how yellow he is! |
|
|
|
Shut the fuck up about Brett Favre |
|
|
Shut the fuck up about Brett Favre by: Doom 2008-09-07 I've wanted Brett Favre to die for years because his existence has fucking annoyed mine ever since I began watching the local news and reading the newspaper. I like to know what the fuck goes on in my city, but to do that I must go through page after fucking page of fucking Brett Favre drama because even though I live in Milwaukee and not Green Bay, a fucking Green Bay shitty football team ranks higher on the importance scale than anything going on in the city the newspaper is supposed to fucking cover. Goddamnit. |
|
|
|
My High School Reunion |
|
|
by: Rammspieler 2008-08-24 If there is one other thing that you would not expect to see yours truly participating in besides actually getting a date or having a social life, then it would be me going out to any sort of party or voluntarily interacting with people and having to put up with the idiocies that humanity likes to throw out. Much like Doom, I have grown to loathe the idea of social gatherings when they are not limited to any number of people less than five and those five attendees do not happen to be your close friends. Yeah, I might feel differently about concerts, but that's just my guess because none of my favorite bands ever come here. |
|
|
|
100 Names for Jewker |
|
|
by: Doom 2008-08-20 |
|
|
|
Live aus Toronto |
|
|
by: Doom 2008-08-10 Toronto is like a yuppier version of California, bereft of the usual sprawl of the evil metropolitan American cities, compacted without feeling overcrowded. Frankly, the city also reminds me of what Giuliani wanted to do with New York: urban purification, gentrification, franchisization, generification. Yes, it's a pretty nice city. I don't want pretty nice, however, at least not until I've retired and become a private recluse (which is about 40% more recluse than I am now). |
|
|
|
Why I Never Get Shit Done |
|
|
by: Ronin 2008-08-10 I know some of you, especially Doom, are disturbed and angry due to my inability to get anything done EVER, much less on time. But don't worry loyal fans, and Doom, I have reasons for this horrible shortcoming, and I will list them here. |
|
|
|
Raider Debate: When did the Daily Raider jump the shark? |
|
|
Raider Debate: When did the Daily Raider jump the shark? by: Doom, the Red Fox, Rammspieler, Bruce Banner, Scarecrow, the Jewker, Generalissimo Furioso, Nixon, Jedi Guardian, Black Goliath, Nerdlinger, Lemansky, Ed Gein and the Fanboy 2008-08-03 Exactly what the article title says, boys. |
|
|
|
McGee guilty? McGee guilty? MCGEE GUILTY! |
|
|
McGee guilty? McGee guilty? MCGEE GUILTY! by: Michael McGee 2008-07-27 Yeah, I tried putting a hit out on someone, but that's not a crime if the target is someone worse than Hitler. You know who I'm talkin' about: Mark Belling. He's Charlie's right hand man, he is like the Darth Maul to Charlie's cracker ass Emperor Palpatine. And now McGee is becoming Liam Neeson. Fuck Ewan McGreggor, he's a faggot and any man that would pull another man's pants down is a straight-up sick faggot. |
|
|
|
Web Drifter Review |
|
|
by: Jedi Guardian 2008-07-23 Funny story on how Web Drifter came into existence. After getting laid off from TechTV. Martin came up with the idea to interview people from websites that were on his "favorites" tab. He tried selling the idea to Comedy Central, but as usual, the mainstream media company didn't find it appealing enough for their network. So, Martin took his idea to a more fitting format: online.
|
|
|
|
100 Names for Nerdlinger |
|
|
by: Doom and Black Goliath 2008-07-13
|
|
|
|
100 Names for Generalissimo Furioso |
|
|
100 Names for Generalissimo Furioso by: Doom and Black Goliath 2008-07-13
|
|
|
|
You can't spell death without 'death' |
|
|
You can't spell death without 'death' by: The Sad Clown 2008-07-09 Sometimes I like to hold a used cigarette (I don't smoke them though, that's icky and pointless) and think about how it reminds me of a flower. A dead flower. I wrote a poem about it, but I'm not going to share it with you since you'll just like MAKE FUN OF ME or something. The point is, a cigarette inspires death and so do flowers since flowers eventually die after several weeks. That's deep and you know it. |
|
|
|
Seat belt Laws |
|
|
by: The Libertarian 2008-07-09 What if I don't want to wear my seat belt and I don't wear it, you ask. What would happen then. Well, you'll be fined by the government and forced to wear your seat belt from then on or else you'll be fined again. And if you have a child and you don't want to put their seat belt on, it's going to be an even bigger fine. That, my fellow Americans, is big government at its worst. Not content with just stealing our money through illegal taxes (all taxes are illegal in my mind), the government will take your money just for doing things they don't approve of you doing. |
|
|
|
The Trial of McGee |
|
|
by: Michael McGee 2008-07-06 First of all, McGee chooses to look at the racism involved in sending McGee to a 'trial'. McGee is not some stuffed shirt cracker; I operate under a law which is not codified into "laws", and that is the law of the street. Trials are institutional racism's way of keeping individuals from settling issues on their own and instead placing an individual in front of "prosecution", a word similar to "persecution" (something I have been abused with for months after the Jude cops' unlaw of the streetful arrest), and some halfsteppin' whitey with a hammer yelling orders to a McDonald's only viewable in the fourth dimension. |
|
|
|
I Blame Pacman Jones |
|
|
by: Don Imus 2008-06-25 Guys like Pacman Jones just create unwelcome stereotypes about the NFL and about blacks. Niggers - I mean blacks - are seen as shiftless, lazy and prone to violence because of bad apples like certain football players I've mentioned before. One of them does it and then a lot of people will assume the entire race does the same things. It'll be bad for all of Black America if everybody thinks they shoot up nightclubs and smoke joints and carry concealed weapons and murder Nicole Simpson. |
|
|
|
100 names for Black Goliath |
|
|
by: Doom and Generalissimo Furioso 2008-06-12 |
|
|
|
Guys |
|
|
by: Todd Howard 2008-06-01 Much has been made about how National Socialism conflicts with the original intentions of the Daily Raider founders, but I don't see it, guys. I don't. Seriously. Come on. I don't. Where is it in the original charter or the Raider Bill of Lack of Rights which says that Nazism is especially a bad thing? The Nazi Angst articles don't mean anything. Guys. The Raider makes fun of everything, even Nazis. I'm sure Hitler allowed some self-parody during his regime. Seriously, if he didn't, I'd be seriously surprised by it. Seriously. |
|
|
|
THE WHOLE DAMN SYSTEM'S OUT OF ORDER! |
|
|
THE WHOLE DAMN SYSTEM'S OUT OF ORDER! by: Jack Thompson 2008-05-28 THERE WILL BE MANY OBSTACLES IN KILLING THE MANY TENTACLED BEAST THAT IS TAKE-TWO! THE WHOLE SYSTEM'S OUT OF ORDER AND THE SYSTEM IS CONTROLLED BY TAKE-TWO! THAT'S HOW THOSE BASTARDS HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO PERVERT OUR KIDS, THE WHOLE JUSTICE SYSTEM ALLOWS THIS INJUSTICE TO OCCUR! THEY'RE IN TAKE-TWO'S POCKET! EVERYBODY WHO HAS GOD IN THEIR HEART SHOULD KNOW THIS! EVEN THAT JEW LIEBERMAN KNOWS IT AND HE'S A FUCKING JEW! |
|
|
|
FREAKFACE MAILBAG 2: FREAKFACE FREAKFACEALOO |
|
|
FREAKFACE MAILBAG 2: FREAKFACE FREAKFACEALOO by: Freakface 2008-05-11 FIRE IS REASON FOR BARCK OBAMA |
|
|
|
America's Products are weird and confounding |
|
|
America's Products are weird and confounding by: John Jap 2008-05-04 First the product I wish to examine is the soft drink Mountain Dew. What is this Mountain Dew that all of Americans find so popular and comforting? Who would want to drink dew from a mountain? That is ridiculous. In Japan we do not have mountains that produce tasty carbonated dew. Is it something you Americans have? I do not think so, therefore this Mountain Dew is either falsified or it is result of experimentation on products from the moon. |
|
|
|
Grammar & Typing |
|
|
by: Shigeru Miyamoto 2008-05-04 You should not use both in comjunction, the shift and space. They are mortal enemies as shown by the graphical visual above in the article. To put them together threatens time, space and shift; a reference to this is happening occurs in the documentary about the Ghostbusters entitled The Ghostbusters. Keys contain streams much like the proton packs.
|
|
|
|
2008 Olympics in Beijing |
|
|
by: Mr. Negative and the Yellow Claw 2008-04-30 Our opening ceremonies will dwarf anything ever attempted by any Olympics host because China has the artistry and ingenuity to surpass all expectations. What had you in mind for your next Olympics? A large American flag draped in hot dogs and apple pies? Haha, Asia is better at eating hot dogs than you as shown by Kobayashi. We will have fireworks, dragons, small children, great walls, and even the possible return of Mao Tse-Tung. Why even bother to show up, America, because we'll defeat you and surpass you in every aspect. The Beijing Olympics will be the greatest Olympics ever played. |
|
|
|
Fear Me, White Man |
|
|
by: The Yellow Claw 2008-04-30 To weaken you for the impending invasion, cultural warfare will be waged by the East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere. It is no coincidence this last decade of the United States was awash in Asian culture, from cartoons to movies to low wage labor. All of your recent horror films take inspiration from Japan, Korea, Thailand. Your children's cartoons are either "anime" or anime inspired. This was our way of infiltration on a cultural level and it is already complete. One decade your entertainment is all-American with football and cheese, the next it is 96% Asian controlled. |
|
|
|
Guys |
|
|
by: Todd Howard 2008-04-30 Seriously. |
|
|
|
Lace Lerations in Amelica |
|
|
by: Ho Chi Gookerson 2008-04-27 Outside of within Asia, we hate evelybody except fol Amelica. But outside Amelica? Evelybody. We hate bracks, Jews, Hispanics, Gelmans, Lussians, evelybody. This can be exprained by sevelar factols. Asian society not fond of outsidels, unrike Amelican curtule which thlives on impolting dly creaning, football stals, soccer stals, bank managels. Thelefole, we do not and cannot tlust many peopre not of Asian descent, even if most of us hate Asian descent anyray. It is nothing pelsonar, niggels, we just not care fol foleign peopre. |
|
|
|
Stop being like me |
|
|
by: Adolf Hitler 2008-04-20 Barbarossa was pretty much a failure from start to finish. What the fuck was I thinking? Exactly. That's right. I wasn't thinking, and that's how that idiot Stalin and his mentally inferior Red Army got the drop on the German war machine and forced us to eat shit for hundreds of miles in a retreat back into Pure Europe. Really, defeating the fucking Soviet Union should've been a slam fucking dunk, but it wasn't. I failed at accomplishing even that simplistic, easy task. I was too fucking stupid to realize Russian winters were cold and soldiers of the Wehrmacht would require warmer clothing. I fought cold and cold won! |
|
|
|
What does this mean? Roundtable |
|
|
What does this mean? Roundtable by: Dick Gephardt, Lorne Michaels, Blitz Niggardly, Carenage, Shigeru Miyamoto and Josiah X 2008-04-16 Josiah X: Man, those fuckin' Virginia Tech crackers DESERVED what they got. They crackers! Crackers ain't innocent! I read all this shit about 32 innocent people killed in Virginia Tech massacre. Again, I don't think crackers is innocent. They the very opposite definition of innocent. Guilty. Guilty of being ghostfaced motherfuckers, right? You best damn know I'm right. |
|
|
|
I blame this on the nappy headed hos |
|
|
I blame this on the nappy headed hos by: Don Imus 2008-04-16 Yeah, I fucking said it. I'm tired of having to respect these 'women' for their ability to throw a ball into a hoop for the amusement of a primarily white audience. I didn't respect them when I was talkin' about them on my radio show (which happened to be one of the biggest comedy achievements of the 21st century), and I don't intend to respect them now. Got it? |
|
|
|
What Virginia Tech taught me: We need to bomb Mecca |
|
|
What Virginia Tech taught me: We need to bomb Mecca by: Bill O'Reilly 2008-04-16 If any Muslims are reading this, I'm sorry, but this is just how it needs to be. We need to set an example by blowing up a building of immeasurable importance or else every gas station owner will think it's okay to go into a college university and shoot up innocent/white kids. In case you couldn't read that last sentence since it's in an advanced language spoken by humans, let me translate into your tongue: ~~`~~~`-`-`-`-`~~~~~---++``~~~~``````. Looks Arabic enough to me! Now do you understand? Good. |
|
|
|
Madison...or Tehran? |
|
|
by: Charlie Sykes and Mark Belling 2008-04-06 Paul! Paul! PAUUUUL! Damn you, Paul! Why did you have to get into a car accident because of the snow! If you weren't in a car accident, I wouldn't have gone to Madison and seen all those pinko homosexuals there. I saw homos, I saw queers, I saw gays. I even saw an interracial couple rolling their halfrican child down the street! Unfortunately, there were too many PEOPLE looking at me for me to push them down into a manhole or devour them whole, but I would've done it! I would've done it if not for those damned bystanders! |
|
|
|
Fangirls |
|
|
by: Doom 2008-04-06 NOTE: YOU MAY BE OFFENDED BY THE FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE EITHER A FANGIRL OR A CATTY HOMOSEXUAL. I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T CARE. YOU'VE BROUGHT IT UPON YOURSELVES BY BEING FUCKING ANNOYING AND WORSE THAN DEATH. |
|
|
|
MPS: Monkey Prison Schools |
|
|
by: Charlie Sykes 2008-03-26 School vouchers solve every problem. Trust me. It works. Let me give you an example. Nigger in Nigger School gets bad education because of Nigger School's low budget. Nigger gets a chance to opt out and go to a better school. A certain amount of niggers also follow. Then we'll be able to get rid of all the inner city schools and dispel notions of segregation by pointing to certain token black students in the private schools. I figure if vouchers are used often enough, MPS as it currently is will cease to exist. |
|
|
|
Dizz Insults 101 |
|
|
by: Stan Lee 2008-03-19 Good morning, class, to the first morning of your semester enrollment in Dizz Insults 101. I actually wanted to call the class "Insulting Dizz 101", as it's less ambiguous, but the administration wouldn't let me change it. Fucking crackers. Oh well, it's typical for tenured black professors like me to still be DIS-CRIMINATED against. |
|
|
|
Duhhhh, I don't wanna write an article, cause I'm lazy |
|
|
Duhhhh, I don't wanna write an article, cause I'm lazy by: Fanboy Boy 2008-03-19 Sleep is my favoritest of my three hobbies. Sleep is where I'm a viking. My goal in life is not to become a skilled person of any kind, but rather to become the guy who was Sloth in the movie Se7en. Wouldn't THAT be the life. Never having to move, never doing anything whatsoever. That's a fantasy I want to become my reality. I want to atrophy physically and mentally and I don't want help from being tied down (like Sloth had in the movie). |
|
|
|
In Defense of Slavery |
|
|
by: Barack Obama 2008-03-12 We ought not paint slaveowners with such a broad brush either. Just because they owned human beings and took pride in owning human beings and treating them like dirt does not make them bad people. That's a crass generalization and deep down you know it is. Generalizations hurt America, except in the case of generalizing all Americans as lovers of change and lovers of Barack Obama. Then it's perfectly okay. But only in that situation. |
|
|
|
Georogicar Science |
|
|
by: Ho Chi Gookerson 2008-03-09 Section one is focused on locks and the science of locks. Locks are vely impoltant to realn about, since the majolity of the Ealth's Clust is made of locks and things that are rike locks. Locks ale made of minelars, which ale nothing but tightry complessed selies of morecures that ale set in a clysterrine stluctule. Locks ale impoltant even in evelyday rives of peopre rike you or me. Many ploducts are made with locks or with lock-lerated substances! Stones ale made of locks and so ale Statue of Ribelty! No Amelican I know is abre to go rifetime without seeing Statue of Riberty at reast once! |
|
|
|
50 Things Kids Won't Learn In School About Jews |
|
|
50 Things Kids Won't Learn In School About Jews by: Charlie Sykes 2008-02-27 |
|
|
|
I Quit! |
|
|
by: The Fanboy 2008-02-17 Yes, that's right. I quit. I refuse to write for the Daily Raider, or even write critiques of the Daily Raider that later appear on the Daily Raider for some reason. I can no longer in good conscience aid a website that is so horrible and so terrible and so shitty and so...you get my point. I wish others would join me in my walkout, but thus far it looks as though only Carenage and the Libertarian are joining me, and their defection is expected. After all, they're biologically me! |
|
|
|
Mediocre Moments in School Shooting History: Northern Illinois |
|
|
Mediocre Moments in School Shooting History: Northern Illinois by: Doom 2008-02-17 He was at the bottom of the lecture hall, with an entire panorama of students to murder. Does he get more than a handful? Nope! And he used much better weapons than Cho (he used a .22 for God's sake!), with three handguns and a shotgun to blow holes in schoolchildren. The shotgun alone should've buckshotted him into the double digits. Either he didn't do target practice with moving objects (deer, squirrels, blacks) or he didn't play a sufficient amount of video games to improve his aim. |
|
|
|
Guys |
|
|
by: Todd Howard 2008-02-17 The Northern Illinois tragedy, guys, you guys can't be making fun of that. It's just, guys. Guys. Too soon, guys. You know it's too soon, guys. You can't...guys, guys, seriously. You can't. It's too soon. Too soon. There has to be a, seriously, a grace period for when you can not say these things. Guys. There has to be. Or else it's anarchy. Anarchy, guys. Anarchy. And already, guys, you're flouting the grace period and you're making fun of people who are mourning, guys. That's not cool, guys. Guys. Guys. Come on. Seriously. Not cool. |
|
|
|
Why I really love my girlfriend |
|
|
Why I really love my girlfriend by: Doom 2008-02-14 Yes, this is a serious article. Shut up. |
|
|
|
Valentine's Day: Why it sucks |
|
|
by: Doom and Malice 2008-02-14 Flowers seem to exist as a gift solely to give Goth-y kids a 'witty' piece of insight to spew to their friends about how ironic it supposedly is for someone to buy a gift that wilts and dies after two weeks for their loved one. I don't see any other reason, for what I just mentioned applies (although it's a trite observation). I mean, flowers do die quickly and don't do a whole lot for the girl in question while they live. Sure, they look nice and smell nice, but that's about it. |
|
|
|
Ow! My Balls! |
|
|
by: Doom 2008-02-14 Haynes Lee alternatitle: My Dinner with Hernia Haynes Lee alternaalternatitle: Hernia in the Groin Haynes Lee alternaalternaalternatitle: The Ball State University Massacre
|
|
|
|
A tour to the US of A |
|
|
by: Jedi Guardian 2008-02-11 42. Tennessee Nothing to see here, except for a shitty museum dedicated to Elvis (even though he performed most of his concerts at Las Vegas).
|
|
|
|
Where's the update?! |
|
|
by: The Fanboy 2008-02-11 Where's my |
|
|
|
Guys, the update, guys, guys |
|
|
by: Todd Howard 2008-02-11 Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. GUYS. Seriously. This is, this is, it's not good. |
|
|
|
100 reasons why the update took so long |
|
|
100 reasons why the update took so long by: Doom and Stan Lee 2008-02-11 |
|
|
|
The "N" List |
|
|
The "N" List: The Top Five Threats to Black America by: Black Goliath 2008-02-11 All right, so maybe the word "threat" is a little extreme. I'll use another word. Annoying. That sounds right, that'll work. You can also use the words cancer, blight, obstacles, or Didios. All are fitting for this subject. The reason I even bothered to go through with this was a conversation with my friend Greg Johnson. Although the site gives him some grief [and how! - Doom.], there is ONE thing we see eye to eye on: there are a lot of ignorant niggers in this world. |
|
|
|
Why I Died |
|
|
by: Zombie Heath Ledger 2008-02-06 I'm Heath Ledger, but you can also call me Corpsey! |
|
|
|
100 other ways for Lemansky to get into trouble before year's end |
|
|
100 other ways for Lemansky to get into trouble before year's end by: Doom, Nerdlinger and Ed Gein 2008-01-30 As you may or may not have heard, Lemansky ran afoul of White Law once again. Boy, the guy just seems incapable of catching of a break! Rather than offer him solidarity or sympathy, we decided it would best raise his spirits by skewering his eternal plight and taking other various shots at assorted staff members who didn't contribute to this article. |
|
|
|
Lemansky was better when he was Dizz |
|
|
Lemansky was better when he was Dizz by: The Fanboy 2008-01-27 I swear, this Dizz-to-Lemansky shift is EVEN WORSE than that horrible retcon which established Dizz suffered from ADD. I prefer brain damage disease Dizz to jerkass Dizz. I would prefer David "Smirkin'" Mirkin's Dizz to the jerkass one created under Mike Scully's reign of terror. Down with Lemansky and down with jockey elves! |
|
|
|
Martin Luther King Jr. was a cracker |
|
|
Martin Luther King Jr. was a cracker by: Josiah X 2008-01-23 We've seen how a black man can become a white man with little difficulty (Michael Jackson, the Wayans Bros, Joe Biden). Why is the reverse unthinkable? The white man created nerve gas and the common cold to kill the black man; make-up to make a whitey look dark would be incredibly easy by comparison for the government science labs and the FBI. Hell, it explains a lot about why the Congress is filled with so many damn house niggers. They're not niggers at all, they're just crackers in disguise! I knew there was something about Charlie Rangel that wasn't quite right. |
|
|
|
If I did it, here's how 9/11 happened |
|
|
If I did it, here's how 9/11 happened by: O.J. Simpson 2008-01-20 Now, I'm not saying I did do 9/11. I'm not. Plus, there ain't any proof saying I did 9/11, so you can't prosecute me for 9/11. Yeah, you heard me, Goldmans. You motherfuckers can't scapegoat O.J. for this one! |
|
|
|
My eBay Career |
|
|
by: Doom 2008-01-16 Aquababee424, you are my new sworn enemy. Your inferior brain cannot comprehend the wonders of owning a piece of Skold solo career history! You illegitimate harlot, you snake... YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU CROSSED VICTOR "JUSTALITTLETORTURE" VON DOOM, BITCH. RUE!!!!!! |
|
|
|
Girls Roundtable |
|
|
by: The Fanboy, En Esch, Alex Ross, Joe Quesada and Puck 2008-01-06 The Fanboy: I have yet to see a girl in person, but I do a fair amount of research on the Internet about this sort of thing. From perusing the NON-PORNOGRAPHIC links, it seems a 'girl' is the moniker given to a 'woman' who is generally perceived as 'young'. A woman, I suppose, is the female gender. Specific to our case, it's the alternate gender to the male gender in our species. Does that make sense? |
|
|
|
Selling out my principles |
|
|
by: Doom 2007-12-30 DAMN YOU, FEMINISM AND THE REJECTION OF POLYGAMOUS RELATIONSHIPS |
|
|
|
I Hate Christmas |
|
|
by: Doom 2007-12-25 FUCKING DIE FUCKING DIE FUCKING DIE |
|
|
|
Wal-Mart |
|
|
by: Jedi Guardian 2007-12-25 DUH, THANK GOD I'S NOT A WOMAN OR A NIGGER OR I WOULD HAVES NOT WORK AT WALMART, HYUCK! |
|
|
|
Dizz's Digital Deeds Determine (I'm in) Deep Shit |
|
|
Dizz's Digital Deeds Determine (I'm in) Deep Shit by: Dizz 2007-12-23 Fuck humans. |
|
|
|
Why Do They Hate Us? |
|
|
by: Concerned Citizen 2007-12-19 9/11 was definitely unprovoked, I think. America is the big police force of democracy to the rest of the world, making sure democracy is flourishing and stuff, and protecting people who need protecting. At least that's what I think America does. Maybe I'm wrong. But I certainly remember how we helped people in WW2, in Yugoslavia and in Kuwait. We're the leader of the free world! That has to count for something. |
|
|
|
Charlie's Wild Ride |
|
|
by: Charlie Sykes 2007-12-19 Alternate title: Charlie Sykes' Nappy School Bus |
|
|
|
Guys |
|
|
by: Todd Howard 2007-12-19 Seriously. |
|
|
|
Guys |
|
|
by: Todd Howard 2007-12-16 Guys. |
|
|
|
Bitches, man, bitches |
|
|
by: Stan Lee 2007-12-12 My point is, when you get down to it, bitches are bitches. They ain't for changing your entire life around. I hear all this jive about Doom giving up his lifestyle of drinking and drugs and I think "What is this fucking bullshit?". You don't fucking see Stan "The Man" Lee give up his 40s and his coke for his wife or whatever breezy he's nutting in the mouth of this week. That's because I know that a relationship is about you fucking her and her trying to not bother you when you're not fucking 'em. |
|
|
|
Charlie Sykes' The New Black Codes |
|
|
Charlie Sykes' The New Black Codes by: Charlie Sykes 2007-12-09 For a long time I have championed the reinstitution of slavery. Now I realize the folly of such a practice coming back. We can't do it. Things are too different now as compared to the 1800s. For one, blacks aren't disciplined at all anymore, what with their rap music, their baggy pants and their knowledge of firearms. They just wouldn't make good slaves. Mexicans, maybe. But blacks? No. Too far gone. |
|
|
|
FREAKFACE MAILBAG |
|
|
by: Freakface 2007-12-09 FIRE STILL BAD |
|
|
|
The Girl Conspiracy |
|
|
by: Fritz Niggardly 2007-12-05 What do we even know about this girl? Nothing. Doom has not even once uttered to any of the staff what her name is ("Sophie" is disinformation planted by ze media dictatorship). Nor do we have picture, satellite photos, GPS of her house, voice identification, credit information, social security number, used panties or any other relevant information. We the public have a right to know the exact details of the woman's life, and specifically intimate knowledge of Doom's relationship with her. |
|
|
|
100 things for Dizz to do now that he's off the Strike Team |
|
|
100 things for Dizz to do now that he's off the Strike Team by: Doom, Rammspieler, Bruce Banner, Generalissimo Furioso, Nerdlinger and Stan Lee 2007-12-02 |
|
|
|
Reasons for the Fall of Humanity #3: NASCAR |
|
|
Reasons for the Fall of Humanity #3: NASCAR by: Black Goliath 2007-12-02 The movie Talladega Nights summed it up perfectly. Sasha Baron Cohen's character is a French, dark, and GAY driver who proceeds to kick Will Farrell's ass. Not surprisingly, he was pretty much disliked. I know mentioning a mediocre movie isn't the best way to make a case, but if that's not accurate to a tee, I don't know what is. "But Goliath. That's just fiction. That's not real life!" Well, tell me, where are all the black, latino, gay, insert minority group here drivers? Nowhere. The interest is not there, and if it was, they would be driven out fast. This is the only white sport remaining. Why dirty it up? |
|
|
|
When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd |
|
|
When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd by: Dizz 2007-11-30 Shane? Shaaaaane! |
|
|
|
What's The Deal With...Time Warner Cable Customer Service |
|
|
What's The Deal With...Time Warner Cable Customer Service by: Jerry Seinfeld 2007-11-30 When you wait as long as I wait, the music becomes a little bit repetitive. Did I say a little? I mean a lot. It's the same da-da-da-da-da the entire time. The same goes for the little announcements, which are really just advertisements for their other products. What's the deal with that? Their one product you've bought isn't working, and they're trying to sell you another product? What IS the deal with that. I seriously am wondering. |
|
|
|
Boycott Doom |
|
|
by: The Fanboy 2007-11-25 Well, I'm getting really tired of the Daily Raider Congress' inaction and cowardice in the face of Doom's unrestrained Executive power. I'm not saying we should impeach him, because it would destroy continuity of executives. We need to boycott him instead, because boycotting him will give the same message and create a situation wherein Doom will have to permanently abdicate in the face of non-binding resolution after non-binding resolution condemning him. |
|
|
|
A Girl??!!?!!?!!??!!?!?! |
|
|
by: Alex Ross 2007-11-25 The Daily Raider's original banner, if I remember correctly, from Daily Raider #1 said "No Girls Allowed", with the 's' in 'Girls' backwards for comedic effect. "Girls Allowed" is a clear reverse in policy, and I, Alex Ross, do not stand for such a thing. The Daily Raider was about going against the 'conventions' of the mainstream thought, which regarded girls as '50% of the population' and 'not icky at all'. Now look at them! |
|
|
|
Writers Guild Strike Projects: Cost-Effective, Writing Deficient |
|
|
Writers Guild Strike Projects: Cost-Effective, Writing Deficient by: Doom, Rammspieler, Bruce Banner, Generalissimo Furioso and Nerdlinger 2007-11-25 Hacks, start your word processors! |
|
|
|
Milwaukee's New Police Chief |
|
|
by: Edward Flynn 2007-11-25 Niggers? Is it okay to say that here? It's okay? Okay. Good. Cause I'm not a big fan of the moniker 'African-Americans'. When you're beating down a nigger, it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue to say "STAY DOWN, YOU FUCKING AFRICAN-AMERICAN!" You know what I mean? Yeah, it's not even really a race thing. It's just an issue related to what sounds best. Not really racist at all if you think about it. |
|
|
|
Why I Love My Girlfriend |
|
|
by: Doom 2007-11-25 She is a beacon of light and goodness into my wretched, dark, depressing, one long hangover of a life, and she gives me a reason to bother getting up every morning! Nah, I'm just fucking with you. |
|
|
|
Black Friday |
|
|
by: Josiah X 2007-11-23 Fuckers, we desire actual black people who ain't crackheads or dead bodies on the news. However, it isn't going to happen because you're too busy with your Black Friday coverage of "Oh shit, white people gotta shop! Let's show them shop for things the minorities can't possibly afford because they ain't capitalist motherfucker bitches!" It's one step away from Jesse Helms going on ABC and showing off the brand new negro he got at the Sears bargain bin. |
|
|
|
What am I thankful for? |
|
|
by: Doom 2007-11-23 I'll tell you. |
|
|
|
I'm Not a Racist |
|
|
by: Dog the Bounty Hunter 2007-11-23 If I was racist, I'd hunt niggers and not bounties. See?! |
|
|
|
More Like Victor Von Fag |
|
|
by: The Fanboy 2007-11-18 So, this girl, let's just call her "The Girl Who's Going To Destroy The Site And Ruin Doom's Career Forever Because She Is A Horrible Harlot Witch Who Is Evil And Awful And Doom Was Better As A Single Guy Anyway", or "Ruining Girl" for short, she is quite obviously the worst thing to happen to the website ever. Well, ever since Nixon and the Red Fox stopped executive producing and left Doom to his own misanthropic, heartless devices. |
|
|
|
Why we should have let the South win the Civil War |
|
|
Why we should have let the South win the Civil War by: Nixon 2007-11-18 Sure, Reconstruction might have worked if we hadn't had a corrupt incompetent fuck as president (Grant, beginning a proud tradition of Republicans being corrupt and incompetent fucks to this day), but if the Iraq War has taught us anything (it probably hasn't) it's that trying to change/shape nations that don't want to be changed doesn't really work. And the South never wants to be anything beyond the South. The backwards, racist, overtly religious and conservative South that does things the "good ol' fashion way". |
|
|
|
Go, go, fascist rangers: UWM Post loves Ze Reich |
|
|
Go, go, fascist rangers: UWM Post loves Ze Reich by: Doom 2007-11-04 Once you strip away the fascist message of nationalistic fever pitch, you get your average friendly neighborhood closet racist. He couches his beliefs in academic and philosophical terms, which do little but make the contrast between railing on about lack of objective moralism and comparing the ideal race relations to Power Rangers more hilarious and more bizarre. It speaks to the lack of quality within the UWM Post more than anything else; I could have written a better blisteringly ignorant fascist tract than this joker. |
|
|
|
Wal-Mart is Evil |
|
|
by: Doom 2007-10-31 I have recently uncovered some shocking, disturbing facts about the nature of Sam Walton's mini-imperial empire. Facts which will shock and alarm you. Facts which will put coldness in your hearts. Facts so insane, so unbelievable, that they can only be published in a pseudo-journalistic publication such as The Daily Raider. Hold on to your hats, people; you're about to take a wild ride through the annals of mythology, pagan religion and beyond (warning: not a guarantee). |
|
|
|
I Want Another Rodney King! |
|
|
by: Charlie Sykes 2007-10-31 So it's no surprise there was outcry regarding the Rodney King video. Everyone called it a 'beating', an 'example of police brutality', and overall proof that racism in America still exists. Yes, and? Racism is good. It's incomprehensible to treat all races as equals when it's obvious the white race is far superior to the minority junk races. And, frankly, the police need to be brutal since thanks to Clinton and his comrade friends the police have become far too soft and liberal. To dispense true justice, you have to sometimes 'beat up an innocent suspect' or 'murder someone and pin the crime on a black person'. |
|
|
|
Fuck Canada |
|
|
by: Doom 2007-10-28 Yeah. I know it's not 'in' to bash Canada anymore, supposedly because the country is superior to the United States in health, economy, civil liberties and so on. Hell, their dollar's worth more than our dollar. But Canada still sucks. Because, um, it's Canada! Come on, people. Let's not lose sight of things as a result of Canada's success in the past decade or two. Canada is wrong. Canada is stupid. Canada is evil. Canada is everything the world thinks the United States is, and worse. |
|
|
|
Not So Great Moments in School Shooting History: SuccessTech |
|
|
Not So Great Moments in School Shooting History: SuccessTech by: Doom and John Madden 2007-10-28 Evil Satanist goth, anti-social monster, broken home, bad parenting, 'how could a nutcase procure guns', straw that broke the camel's back, overreaction as retribution, kids not taking seriously claims for revenge, impotent administration, horrible tragedy, what a fucking inhuman compartmentalizable monster, what does this mean, we need gun control, we need more guns, increased security in all schools so everything's solved blah de fucking blah. |
|
|
|
Hate Mexico! |
|
|
by: Rammspieler 2007-10-28 The reason why Mexican cinema is considered 'arty' and shit is precisely because they don't have the resources Hollywood has. So they have to rely on shit like 'story' and other long-forgotten techniques that Hollywood abandoned in their quest for more Zach Braff, Joss Whedon and Eli Roth hackery. But methinks that if the Mexican film industry had the very same resources as Hollywood, they would be putting out the same tripe as any American studio would. Fuck knows their television industry already does it. |
|
|
|
Homosexuals are Gay |
|
|
by: Toby Keith 2007-10-21 Howwwwday! How y'all doin'?!?! It's your old buddy Tobeh Keith here with some more of my right as rain freedom loving! Now, as we all, know, Toby keith hates fags, but since some people don’t agree with me we's gotta make sure everyone knows why Ah hates 'em. Now, Ah knows some of ya’ll think Ah cain't make too many words about how gay homos are, but Ah'm here to prove you wrong! |
|
|
|
Spain: Europe's True Pathetic Former Empire |
|
|
Spain: Europe's True Pathetic Former Empire by: Rammspieler 2007-10-14 Did you know that for Europeans, popular knowledge dictates that Europe ends in southern France and Spain is where Africa begins? Zing, baby! |
|
|
|
Ghost Hunting: Volume 1 |
|
|
by: Dizz 2007-10-08 Cheerio, all! Yes, you did read the title right. I, Dizz, decided I would go ghost hunting last night with a friend. Normally, this article probably wouldn't have a chance at being published, but due to it being Schlocktoberfest, it feels like it fits the mood of the month. Regardless of appropriateness or lack thereof, this is the story of my adventure and all of the amazingly terrifying things that happened on it. |
|
|
|
Crimes Against Comedy 3: Carlos Mencia Loves David Duke |
|
|
Crimes Against Comedy 3: Carlos Mencia Loves David Duke by: Doom 2007-10-07 The defense Mencia puts up when people criticize him or don't laugh at his jokes, ironically, is the funniest thing he's ever done. He says anyone who doesn't laugh at his shit isn't guffawing because they're the model of the easily offended church lady unable to tolerate the stark truths of world affairs and racial relations because she's so politically correct. In fact, most of his act's predicated on being a bulwark against this so-called 'politically correct society'. Me, I don't think such a police state of political correctness exists because, uh, it doesn't. |
|
|
|
The MATC Experience |
|
|
by: Black Goliath 2007-10-03 In an attempt to do it all over again the next day (since the paper was due in about another hour or so), I had to wait for some pervert to get off the Internet watching porn (NOT GREG) [I doubt that - Doom]. It wasn't your usual vanilla Angeline porn, either. Oh no. This was full frontal cum shots on a little teen face smut. And guess who was watching this? An old guy! Surprisingly, no one noticed this garbage, or no one cared too much, which would explain the recklessness of it all. |
|
|
|
Jews and Niggers: The deadly alliance behind the Virginia Tech massacre |
|
|
Jews and Niggers: The deadly alliance behind the Virginia Tech massacre by: Lorne Michaels 2007-09-30 Kikes have been behind all of the worst events of the 20th and 21st century. 9/11, World War II (known to me as the War of Polish-Judeo Aggression), Israel, the Ramstein airshow disaster, and Columbine. Yes, Columbine. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were in actuality underage MOSSAD agents (have the Israelis no care for the rights of children?) whose real names were Eric Harrisberg and Dylan Klebowitz. |
|
|
|
The 9/11 Megaconspiracy |
|
|
by: Blitz Niggardly 2007-09-23 All of you by now know 9/11 did not unfold the way the MSM wants you to believe it unfolded. No, 'planes' did not 'hit' the 'World Trade Center', the 'Pentagon' OR 'Pennsylvania'. As if any of those locations even exist in the real world. For many years I and my friend Alex Jones have tried to find out what really happened on September 11th, and how it fits in with the other dastardly, evil events to occur in the world's 400 year history. Well, I have happened upon the ultimate explanation, the megaconspiracy if you will, which ties the entirety of human history together. |
|
|
|
Fallen Son: The Death of Lots of White People |
|
|
Fallen Son: The Death of Lots of White People by: Doom and Zombie Sam Loeb 2007-09-23 Zombie Sam Loeb: Virginia Tech was pretty fucking gay, but what was gayer was my dad's writing on Fallen Son. First of all, why the fuck is it called Fallen Son? Captain America is a soldier, not a son. Dumbass. And second of all, crying over some star spangled fag is stupid and faggy. |
|
|
|
Great Moments in School Shooting History: Virginia Tech |
|
|
Great Moments in School Shooting History: Virginia Tech by: Doom and John Madden 2007-09-17 Cho has, in one fell swoop, cemented the college as a viable environment for a school shooting, no doubt paving the way for future killers inspired by him and his courage to be a trailblazer in the way Harris and Klebold brought high school shootings to the forefront of the American cultural consciousness. And he's made it more acceptable for minorities and immigrants to join in on the bloodletting. Guy's the gun toting, Asian version of Rosa Parks. |
|
|
|
How to throw your own candlelight vigil |
|
|
How to throw your own candlelight vigil by: Doom 2007-09-17 If you're a college student and want to make the vigil college-oriented (as I think you would, given Virginia Tech), try to make the location close to campus. College students like mourning, but are too lazy to mourn deaths if they have to walk really far. Too much effort wasted on something that's not beer pong, man! |
|
|
|
9/11 Merchandise: Operation Enduring Profit |
|
|
9/11 Merchandise: Operation Enduring Profit by: Doom, the Red Fox, Rammspieler, Bruce Banner, Scarecrow, Dizz, Generalissimo Furioso, Jedi Guardian, Black Goliath, Jurassic3000, Nerdlinger and Iranian Uncle 2007-09-17 Bruce Banner: I often wonder if the media would have popularized Todd Beamer's final words if he said something not already in the macho action movie lexicon. Would we have patches with the phrase "Does anyone know how to fly this thing?" or "Holy shit, I think I pressed the wrong button GRAGGGGH *kzzt*" on them? I doubt it. |
|
|
|
Headlines of Virginia Tech: Holy Shit |
|
|
Headlines of Virginia Tech: Holy Shit by: Doom, the Red Fox, Rammspieler, Bruce Banner, Scarecrow, Dizz, Generalissimo Furioso, Jedi Guardian, Black Goliath, Jurassic3000, Nerdlinger and Iranian Uncle 2007-09-17 Jurassic3000: These headlines sound like Sega Genesis game titles. |
|
|
|
RUH ROH! |
|
|
by: Ho Chi Gookerson 2007-09-15 ME SO SOLLY! Aso, aso! A Mr. Cho Seung someting rent and shot up a schoor somewhere in Vilginia! Aporogies to you Meesta Vilginia Technocal Correge! Me so vely solly for pain you suffeled! Me not know how to rive with serf if this happened to Ho Chi Gookerson's famiry! |
|
|
|
If I did it, here's how Virginia Tech happened |
|
|
If I did it, here's how Virginia Tech happened by: O.J. Simpson 2007-09-13 For those questioning my (hypothetical) motivations, I had to kill them. I had to kill those 32 students and assorted personnel (and Charlie). For my KIDS, Goddamnit. Nicole was gonna take away my kids if I didn't kill her, 32 people at Virginia Tech, and Jewy Goldman. That's the honest truth. |
|
|
|
Capitalist Exploitation Time: Virginia Tech Edition |
|
|
Capitalist Exploitation Time: Virginia Tech Edition by: Tex "Robert" Tucker 2007-09-13 Many companies actually go as far as giving a portion of their profit money (sometimes all of it, if you can believe that) to charity. If you go ahead with that route, you're nothing but a sucker. And you're supposed to be the swindler, not the swindlee. Ol' Robert Tucker ain't goin' let you get hoodwinked by some smooth talkin' charity looking to 'help the families of the victims' or some other hippie bullshit. |
|
|
|
The Miss Arab World Beauty Pageant! |
|
|
The Miss Arab World Beauty Pageant! by: Iranian Uncle 2007-09-11 Is this seriously the most beautiful woman in all of the Arab world?! Now I pity you Sunni swine more than I ever have before! With millions of women to enter, this was the best?! How sad! I would have taken a Jew over her! |
|
|
|
MARRIAGE GOOD, FIRE BAD! |
|
|
by: Freakface 2007-09-03 MARRIAGE IS FOUNDATION OF GOOD LIFE, SUCH AS ONE FREAKFACE HAVE. WITHOUT MARRIAGE, FREAKFACE HIDEOUS MONSTER UNABLE TO SEE, HEAR, SMELL OR DO ANYTHING ELSE COOL. WITH MARRIAGE FREAKFACE HIDEOUS MONSTER UNABLE TO SEE, HEAR, SMELL WHO'S MARRIED. SEE DIFFERENCE (FREAKFACE CAN'T NOT BECUZ FREAKFACE EYE ONLY WORK SOME OF TIME). AND WHO NOT LOVE GOOD WEDDING? |
|
|
|
Michael Vick: Crucify him! Crucify him! |
|
|
Michael Vick: Crucify him! Crucify him! by: Charlie Sykes 2007-09-03 Rule #1: always assume a nigger's up to no good. Rule #2: when you find out the nigger's up to no good, MAKE HIM PAY THE PRICE. Don't bother reading about 'evidence'; NIGGERS ARE GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN NOT BLACK.
|
|
|
|
Intellectualism is Gay |
|
|
by: Toby Keith 2007-09-03 See, an eesy way to know if something's worth doing is weather or not Ah do it. No ya see here, these limoosine liberals all wint to college and shit, and yer pal Toby Keith here didn't even finish high school. See, I thinks in college they learn you how to hate America and hate God, an' thas just wrong! Theys all want us to pack into there liberries and try and brainwash us into loving Allah and niggers! And this is why all the peoples in mah town dun burnded down all the lie-braries (see, it's lie brary because they teaches you lies in there, funny ain't it?) in the entire county. |
|
|
|
Dogémon: Gotta Kill 'Em All |
|
|
by: Michael Vick 2007-08-28 Dogfighting is not only an alluring activity (who hasn't wanted to see Lassie rip out Old Yeller's throat?), but it is an activity that's fun for the whole family. I grew up with this sport, you see. Tiger Woods' father took him golfing at an early age; my father took me to dogfighting stadiums to see great trainers like "Iron Bull" Tompkins and "The Collar" Reyes send dog after dog into a no-holds-barred round robin tournament. |
|
|
|
Tsk, tsk, these muggles |
|
|
by: Charlie Sykes 2007-08-18 Why should we, the wizards and witches, the TRUE progressives of Earth (not progressive in the hippie Dumbledore sense), be kept down by their lack of progress and their pathetic primitivism? We can do with a mere flick of the wand what took them hundreds, if not thousands, of years to achieve. This one fact should throw out the window the theory that we are in any way related to these pathetic beasts, whether 'scientifically' or whatever else the muggles term their sad attempt at magic. |
|
|
|
Furioso: A Look Back |
|
|
by: Generalissimo Furioso 2007-08-07 I drew this after I visited Puerto Rico... Suffice to say, I didn't have much fun there. |
|
|
|
The Real Cause of Columbine: Besides that Queer-ass Music |
|
|
The Real Cause of Columbine: Besides that Queer-ass Music by: Toby Keith 2007-08-05 Course Ah'ma just talkering about the topic nows, but if you cain't git that right you gots to start all over or you'll help the niggers and other evil races screw up are music even more. To bad these KMMMM guys forgetted this and went on to make some evil and obviously satanic music. There's no acoustic guitar or banjo on any of theys songs 'cept for WWIIII and that song started off gud cause it was talking about blowering up evahthing and then theys done started declaring war on good old American policies. Fer a song to be good it ass to ass some of that daggum banjo or acoustic guitar the whole time, not just at the beginnings, none of this weird techno bullshit. |
|
|
|
WAKE UP, EUROPE! |
|
|
by: Jedi Guardian 2007-07-26 The UN is trying to convince America to drop out from Iraq, so they came make an agreement with Iraqis, and fix their economy through negotiations instead of torturing their citizens, raping their women, and other atrocities that have happened since the invasion of Baghdad. I believe the world already has had enough of the War on Terror; there's no need to add more problems. Come on, United Nations, THREATEN AMERICA!! |
|
|
|
Happy Birthday, America |
|
|
by: Toby Keith 2007-07-15 It wuz lahke 231 some years ago that the Earth, and America, was created, back on July 4th, 1776, A.D. (which is latin fer 'Jesus Rocks'). Back then America was at it's greatest, only the white land ownin' man could vote, and blacks and women folk knew their place. The cotton field and the kitchen, respectively. Yes'ere those founding fathers did a bang up job of setting up America, I love all the greats like George Washington, Patrick Henry, E.T., and of course my favorite, God. |
|
|
|
The Fourth of July is bullshit |
|
|
The Fourth of July is bullshit by: Doom 2007-07-11 I hate the Fourth of July more than any other holiday, even stupid bullshit like Christmas or Easter. And do you know why? Because it's a tribute to one of the most corrupt and megalomaniacal nations to be birthed in the past 300 years. I mean, fuck, at least Great Britain had several hundred years to build up the empire and the douchebaggery; same with France. |
|
|
|
Iranian Uncle's July 4th Rant |
|
|
by: Iranian Uncle 2007-07-11 Upon the opening ceremonies for this holiday, you gorge yourselves in a feast of pure gluttony! Feeding upon this "barbeque" food! Filled with the carrion of that vile and wretched beast, the swine! Filthy Americans! To think that you are no better than the animal you all can never get enough of to devour! And then you worship this gluttony as well! Every year, you take it upon yourselves to have an "eating contest", to see who can eat the most of that animal's diseased flesh! |
|
|
|
Zyklon-B is NOT harmful, quit whining |
|
|
Zyklon-B is NOT harmful, quit whining by: Charlie Sykes 2007-07-11 And certainly the 'B' offers no offensive or dark meaning to it; B is one of the fundamental letters in the English language. Anyone who allies themselves on the side of the anti-B terrorists is a dirty fucking enabler of the anti-white Zedoristic (the British pronounce 'Z' Zed - another reason to wipe them out before they pervert our languages like jigaboos ruined our gene pool and public pools) forces. Zyklon-B, comparatively, is as American as apple pie or me, Charlie Sykes. |
|
|
|
Let me murder your family |
|
|
by: Chris Benoit 2007-07-11 Let me kill your wife. Trust me, I'm a professional, I know what I'm doing in regards to killing a man's wife. Killing a wife requires a strong yet also gentle touch, one which gives her respect as well as sucks the life out of her like some sort of suckerfish in wrestling spandex. The way I killed Nancy turned out to be pretty damn good, in my personal opinion. The bound wrists and feet added a lot more drama to what would have been a normal choking/asphyxiation double murder. |
|
|
|
Tsk, tsk, these niggers |
|
|
by: Charlie Sykes 2007-06-27 I'm standing up for what's white. |
|
|
|
SUE!: The Daily Raider vs. Steve Niles |
|
|
SUE!: The Daily Raider vs. Steve Niles by: The Daily Raider staff 2007-05-13 Bring it on! |
|
|
|
Cho Seung-Hui: The Asian Jackie Robinson |
|
|
Cho Seung-Hui: The Asian Jackie Robinson by: Doom and Dizz 2007-05-04 Cho Seung-Hui not only outshined all American boys Harris and Klebold, he's a Goddamn Jackie Robinson for the Asian-American community. He did for the Far East what Nat Turner did for Africans or Sacco and Vanzetti for the Italians. But what other significance does Cho's actions have for the Asian community? I'm glad you presumably asked the rhetorical question I just posed. He could very well help to make Asians the most hated minority in America outside of blacks, Hispanics and Arabs. Which means move the fuck over, Irish and Italians! |
|
|
|
Top 10 ways to offend people: Virginia Tech |
|
|
Top 10 ways to offend people: Virginia Tech by: Doom and Rammspieler 2007-04-28 When you see someone crying, laugh. The best way to piss off people emotionally distraught by the TRAGEDY is mock their pain in the most direct way possible: laughing. Most often, they'll respond by saying "HOW DARE YOU MOCK MY GRIEF!", which immediately transfers them from crying to anger. And if there's anything funnier than seeing people cry for bullshit reasons, it's seeing people lash out at you for bullshit reasons. |
|
|
|
Nazi Angst 4: Special Virginia Tech Edition |
|
|
Nazi Angst 4: Special Virginia Tech Edition by: Doom and Rammspieler 2007-04-27 Doom: I heard all the Jewish students at Virginia Tech were told by Ariel Sharon's astral form not to go to school that day. Rammspieler: He also played point man to Cho in guiding him to his targets. |
|
|
|
Living vicariously through 33 corpses |
|
|
Living vicariously through 33 corpses by: Doom 2007-04-23 The people who scream and scream about the eternal tragedy of Virginia Tech are the same people who turn a blind eye to how much shittier the rest of the world is. Human rights abuses in Saudi Arabia, China, Israel, Russia, shit, even America? No. The War in Iraq, at least when the car bombs kill Iraqis? Nah. Darfur? Fuck that, all those half-naked Africans depress me, man. The continued occupation of the Palestinians by Israel? Too confusing, mannnnnn. Chechnya? Fuck those possibly nigger peoples. |
|
|
|
THANK HEAVENS FOR VIRGINIA TECH! |
|
|
THANK HEAVENS FOR VIRGINIA TECH! by: Jack Thompson 2007-04-23 SURE, SOME PEOPLE MIGHT SAY "MR.THOMPSON, YOU CAN'T HONESTLY BE SAYING THESE SORTS OF HORRIBLE THINGS SO SOON AFTER THIS TRAGEDY!" WELL, YOU BETTER GET YOUR EARS CHECKED, SISTER! THERE'S NO BETTER TIME TO PUT THE BLAME ON THINGS! WHY, IF PEOPLE DIDN'T BLAME THINGS FOR TRAGEDIES, WE WOULDN'T BE DEFENDING IRAQI DEMOCRACY RIGHT NOW! AS A MATTER OF FACT, IF I WEREN'T BLAMING VIDEO GAMES FOR THIS TRAGEDY, THEN THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY JUSTICE FOR THE VICTIMS OR THEIR FAMILIES! |
|
|
|
100 Funniest Things about Virginia Tech |
|
|
100 Funniest Things about Virginia Tech by: Doom, Rammspieler, Bruce Banner, Scarecrow, the Jewker, Dizz, Generalissimo Furioso and Nixon 2007-04-23
|
|
|
|
Ten Ways for a Guy to Become the Perfect Gentleman |
|
|
Ten Ways for a Guy to Become the Perfect Gentleman by: Percival Niles 2007-04-18 Now I know that many men out there make the mistake of assuming womyn are incapable of doing the same tasks as men, such as putting on makeup, getting a manicure, driving a car or changing the diapers of her child from her previous relationship or her adopted child. But contrary to popular belief, womyn are not only capable of doing those things, but they have been doing it for ages and they are better at doing those things than we men do! |
|
|
|
You're a litterbug! |
|
|
by: the Liberal Fascist 2007-04-18 I hate litterbugs, they're my pet peeve, because it's all about them when they litter. Oh, please, don't patronize me and try to say you're not a self centered jerk. You are. If you litter you can't be anything but one. By littering all you are saying is, "Ha ha ha take that environment, I don't care how you feel or look, I only care about getting rid of my trash this second!"
|
|
|
|
Cleaning Out Hate Speech From Our Language |
|
|
Cleaning Out Hate Speech From Our Language by: Ms. Feminist 2007-04-17 Women is the most obvious hate word that hasn't been fully added to our list of inappropriate terms. It implies we, the superior sex, are in fact inferior, by simply making our name an extension of the word for the male sex, men.
|
|
|
|
Progressives Against Horse Rape (PAHR) |
|
|
The Official Mission Statement of Progressives Against Horse Rape (PAHR) by: Carenage 2007-04-09 If you'd like to join PAHR's crusade for fair and ethical treatment to horses, please consult the local organic produce store (aka our base of operations). We have plenty of leaflets, pamphlets, bumper stickers and T-shirts we can give you to show your support in a cool and word-of-mouth spreading sort of way.
|
|
|
|
Ways to Stop the Patriarchy |
|
|
by: Ms. Feminist 2007-04-05 The only way we are going to break down gender roles permanently is to make sure all industries hire women and men equally. If half of the workforce must be women then if someone is going to "stay home" it will just as likely be a man as a woman. In fact, legally, it will have to be! Not only will we finally solve the age old problem of women staying home, we will rid the nation of the thought that some jobs are "better suited" for men. |
|
|
|
Why Can't America Be More Disabled Friendly |
|
|
Why Can't America Be More Disabled Friendly by: The Disabledist 2007-04-05 Whoa whoa whoa, look at the big man able to run down the field as fast as he can. What the hell is the point, people spend years to get to the peak of their physical perfection and they are able to outrun anybody else. What is the point? Money. Fame. Human contact. Who needs that. It is much more efficient just to have a machine do it.
|
|
|
|
McDonald's is Weightist! |
|
|
by: Fat Rights Activist 2007-04-01 Now when I walk into a McDonalds and order my usual five Big Macs and three Super Size Fries, the clerk gives me that look, the look that all weight-challenged people are used to. It's the look of "We don't serve that item anymore", the single most devastating phrase in the English language. Instead of my REAL FOOD, I get offered a Caesar Salad and a Yogurt Parfait, also known as "healthy" food. |
|
|
|
Why I Hate Niggers |
|
|
by: Toby Keith 2007-03-24 That gun I got is fer self-defense, unless it's nigger huntin' season (July-June in Texas). Then yes, Ah do use mah gun fer shootin' niggers to put on my mantlepiece's slave table. |
|
|
|
Saint Patrick's Day: The True Meaning |
|
|
Saint Patrick's Day: The True Meaning by: Dizz 2007-03-21 Saint Patrick. The very name angers me for two main reasons. First off, he's a saint, which basically means he was a good Catholic man, which essentially means he hated fags, darkies, and them peoples different and told them they would never get into heaven without a small fee. Oh wait, you haven't even heard the best part of it yet! HE'S THE FUCKING PATRON SAINT OF MICKLAND!!!!! |
|
|
|
How to make your suicide memorable |
|
|
How to make your suicide memorable by: Doom 2007-03-04 This is by far the darkest article you've ever read on the Daily Raider. Yes, even darker than the school shooting one. ...Maybe not the rape one. |
|
|
|
House Nigger History Month |
|
|
by: Josiah X 2007-02-22 First thing's first: the month. This is the first example of the White Man screwing us over. Not only is February the shortest month of the year, it's also one of the coldest of the year. That means crackers, well-equipped to cold weather because of their ice-like body structure, enjoy the month while black people don't. Allah forbid the crackers can't give us a summer month to celebrate our history, or even one in the beginning of fall. |
|
|
|
The World's 50 Greatest Blacks |
|
|
The World's 50 Greatest Blacks by: The Red Fox 2007-02-22 DJ Jazzy Jeff - My personal hero and, frankly, the person I was named after. He taught the world so much, like showing it was okay to throw black men from your home when they come in trying to date your daughter. |
|
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso: Origins |
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso: Origins by: Generalissimo Furioso 2007-01-17 Almost as awesome as Daniel Way's Wolverine: Origins. |
|
|
|
Scots and Micks: A Beginners Guide for Differentiating Celtic Races |
|
|
Scots and Micks: A Beginners Guide for Differentiating Celtic Races by: Dizz 2007-01-13 Once upon a time, Ireland was not populated by Micks. Actually, I just made that up, but that would be a great change to the land and is the final goal of a little military plan I designed with the help of Furioso entitled "DROP A BUNCH OF SCOTTISH PARATROOPERS ON MICKLAND AND HAVE THEM WIPE OUT THE MICKS SO WE CAN GET SOME GOOD LAND THAT CAN BE USED FOR FARMING OR SHEEP RAISING." The title speaks for itself, and brings up another good point of difference between Micks and Scots: Scots actually use their land; Micks just vomit potatoes on it when they get too drunk. |
|
|
|
Crimes Against Comedy 2: Dennis Miller Cumstained the American Flag |
|
|
Crimes Against Comedy 2: Dennis Miller Cumstained the American Flag by: Doom 2007-01-09 If you're going to hack it up with political handjob favors in mind, just go the Tony Snow route and join the White House. You'll no longer have to suck off the man, you'll be the man! I suggest Dennis Miller be nominated for the new position of White House Secretary of Jesting. He'll wear a loud outfit, with a bell-filled hat and sing sonnets and relay ribald jokes to our President. It cannot fail! |
|
|
|
Day by Day: The Unfunniest Excuse for a WebComic...EVER! |
|
|
Day by Day: The Unfunniest Excuse for a WebComic...EVER! by: Doom and the Jewker 2007-01-03 Doom: We've fallen to jokes based on a dog's name resembling a 'liberal commie Jew' commentator's name? Oh, come ON. It's not even a fucking joke! Hey, everybody, start comparing Al Gore's name to the word 'bore'! COMEDIC GOLD. |
|
|
|
Also sprach Rammspieler |
|
|
Also sprach Rammspieler: On Why I Wish For A Certain Group Of People To Go To Hell by: Rammspieler 2006-12-28 "But Rammspieler, Christopher Columbus didn't "discover" the western hemisphere! It was the Native Ame..." Fuck you. The Indians didn't discover shit because they didn't keep records and they didn't have anybody to brag about their "discovery" to. Columbus didn't discover shit either, as Leif Erikson pretty much did discovered the New World nearly 500 years earlier. |
|
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso's Cavalcade of Forgotten Holidays |
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso's Cavalcade of Forgotten Holidays by: Generalissimo Furioso 2006-12-28 For those of us who weren't alive during the 60's and 70's, Vietnam is just another country we can proudly talk about on nostalgia shows like I Love the 70's and to some lower extent of reason, a Family Guy joke ("Hey guys, remember that time I met Jane Fonda in Vietnam?"). But for those of us who are smart enough to graduate 5th grade history (We did win WWII, sorry for the suspense, kids), Vietnam is the first case of our country making a big fuck-up that everyone could see and agree on (except for those who still insist that the hippies ruined it for everyone, like Adam Butler or Satan aka Karl Rove). |
|
|
|
The Conservative Arts Program |
|
|
by: Toby Keith 2006-12-25 Economics = Stopping the Jew while loweing Taxes. I hate Jews! Economics, the profession of the Jew, therefore bristles my horse radishes as well. In a Conservative and fair/white system, there'd be no Jewonomics, especially no Jewonomics classes (their purpose is to breed knew Jews). Gettin' there hooked claws outta the schools system is 1ne of mah trop prioritaies. |
|
|
|
The UWM Post - A Newspaper for Hacks by Hacks |
|
|
The UWM Post - A Newspaper for Hacks by Hacks (Fuck the Leader Mix) by: Doom 2006-12-25 The UWM Post's readership consists of a few unique groups on campus: a) people who don't know how to read, b) people who believe USA Today is a high-point in contemporary journalism, c) people who deliberately seek out bland, homogenized bullshit (see also: Dane Cook, fans of, and 15-year-old suburban white girl music, listeners of) and d) people who read Wiesend's sex column with one hand. The maggot infested, DDTalicious crap of the crop, people. |
|
|
|
Nazi Angst 3: Stormfront 2 |
|
|
by: Doom and Rammspieler 2006-12-10 Stormfront is exactly like every other stupid forum on the Internet, only with slightly more White Man veneration. As the great Franklin Delano Roosevelt (another Socialist Jew in disguise) once said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And staircases. Goddamn do I hate staircases." |
|
|
|
Fanfiction based on Real-Life Events Part 3: Iraq War |
|
|
Fanfiction based on Real-Life Events Part 3: Iraq War by: Doom 2006-12-01 TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES HADITHA ON A HALF SHELL TURTLE POWER! I can think of, oh, 7000 things to do which better help the families of the fallen in Iraq than writing shitty TMNT fanfiction about the complex geopolitical conflict. Donating to charities, campaigning against the war that took away their loved ones, putting a stupid "Support our Troops" yellow ribbon on the car, and for this specific case, sterilizing yourself on a copy machine. |
|
|
|
I Hates Them People Different (Cause They's Different) |
|
|
I Hates Them People Different (Cause They's Different) by: Toby Keith 2006-10-31 |
|
|
|
I'M NOT OUT OF ORDER, YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! |
|
|
I'M NOT OUT OF ORDER, YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! by: Jack Thompson 2006-10-28 I'M NOT OUT OF ORDER, YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER, LEGAL SYSTEM! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO DESERVE CONTEMPT OF COURT! I AM NOT IN ANY WAY CONTEMPTUOUS OF COURT, MR. BIG ACTIVIST JEW JUDGE LIBERAL NUTBAR! IN FACT, THE ONLY THING JACK THOMPSON HOLDS IN CONTEMPT FOR ANYTHING IS THE VIDEO GAME INDUSTRY AND THEIR PURE MEXICAN-LIKE EVIL! |
|
|
|
Crimes Against Comedy 1: Dane Cook Hates America |
|
|
Crimes Against Comedy 1: Dane Cook Hates America by: Doom 2006-10-21 The Danester somehow manages to tap the zeitgeist of informing the masses of simple observations. How does he get away with such unfunniness and blatant, well, unoriginality? Well, it's all about the audience. To be frank, the audience is composed entirely of idiots. Entirely. Dane Cook is able to get away with his shit (literally, shit) since fratboys drink too much to remember clever nicknames like 'The BK Lounge' for Burger King. So they throw money at a substandard comedian who jogs their collective memory through 'jokes'. |
|
|
|
School Shooting Dead Pool! |
|
|
by: Doom 2006-10-11 DON'T dawdle too much in your execution of various classmates. Dawdling, like forcing kids to beg for their lives, almost always leads to someone trying to play the hero, or the Republican kid in the school to using his right to conceal and carry to kill you, the Young Democrats, and all the Arabic students, or gives more time for the cops to arrive.
|
|
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso in: The Lukewarm War |
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso in: The Lukewarm War by: Generalissimo Furioso 2006-10-08 "If we have to kill 3/4ths of the world, it does not matter, so long as the 1/4th that remains is Communist!" |
|
|
|
Facebook: Myspace for the cultured, more sophisticated pedophile |
|
|
Facebook: Myspace for the cultured, more sophisticated pedophile by: Doom and the Red Fox 2006-10-07 You can even search out people with the same guidelines as you, but I doubt very many people have actually succeeded on this path. For example, I searched for women between ages 18 and 22, who described their political beliefs as 'very liberal', their relationship situation as 'single' and their intentions as 'dating'. The 28 results I got back, put me in a coma for 3 weeks. All of them liked Family Guy! If only there was an idiot filter. Oh, well there is the religion search by, but I don't think they intended it to be used that way. |
|
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso in: C:\DOS\KILL! |
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso in: C:\DOS\KILL! by: Generalissimo Furioso 2006-10-01 They have the Internet on computers now. |
|
|
|
Fanfiction based on Real-Life Events Part 2: Hurricane Katrina |
|
|
Fanfiction based on Real-Life Events Part 2: Hurricane Katrina by: Doom 2006-09-23 Ross: Guess who I just fucked! [beat] The monkey! |
|
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso in: Press Start Now... |
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso in: Press Start Now... by: Generalissimo Furioso 2006-09-23 You are winner! Ha ha ha! You are winner! Ha ha ha! |
|
|
|
Wrongful death of Soy Say No |
|
|
by: Shigeru Miyamoto 2006-09-23 These beneficiary products' battle sponsored by Jack Baitlin will not stop until one is defeated. After careful and cauliflower deliberation it is decided upon by all that meat is the right and the vegetables are the wrong to be sentenced to their death by big supertime battle. |
|
|
|
Dane Cook - Retaliation Review |
|
|
Dane Cook - Retaliation Review by: Doom 2006-09-17 I'm ZANY in a telegraphed way! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! |
|
|
|
Making the most out of your 9/11 Day |
|
|
Making the most out of your 9/11 Day by: Doom 2006-09-11 Buy board games like Middle Eastern Hegemonyopoly, World Trade Center Jenga, and a special version of Chutes and Ladders where your goal is to slide all the way down out of the burning towers! I also found a gas station selling red, white and blue gasoline for only $5 more per gallon. It may cost a lot but if I don't buy it the terrorists win. |
|
|
|
9/11 ROCKIN' EVE |
|
|
featuring Dick Clark, Doom, Jack Thompson, Chuck Austen, Toby Keith, The Fanboy, Rudy Giuliani, Dick Gephardt, Bill O'Reilly, Osama bin Adam Reed, Hitler Devil Thompson, Steve Niles, Lorne Michaels, The Libertarian, Deathkill-360 and Blitz Niggardly 2006-09-10 Self-explanatory, I hope. |
|
|
|
Spic & Span Follies: Vol. 1: Fucking Puerto Ricans! |
|
|
Spic & Span Follies: Vol. 1: Fucking Puerto Ricans! by: Rammspieler and Generalissimo Furioso 2006-09-09
Generalissimo Furioso: Just tell them what I tell people who ask me what's
the difference between a Mexican and a Puerto Rican
|
|
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso in: Spuds of Wrath |
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso in: Spuds of Wrath by: Generalissimo Furioso 2006-09-09 I'm Idaho! |
|
|
|
Fanfiction based on Real-Life Events Part 1: 9/11 |
|
|
Fanfiction based on Real-Life Events Part 1: 9/11 by: Doom 2006-09-04 Spider-Man: "My exploitation sense is tingling! Anybody call for a cash-in on a national tragedy?" Electro: "We must save the people trapped in the World Trade Center because the attack was wrong, even though I've killed hundreds of people in my career!" Venom: "Lives are at risk and brains are not good to eat if no longer working!" Vulture: "WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!" ["When the Eagle Cries" starts playing] |
|
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso in: Komikkkon |
|
|
Generalissimo Furioso in: Komikkkon by: Generalissimo Furioso 2006-08-29 CHOKE ON IT! |
|
|
|
Fuzzy Flase-Jumping |
|
|
by: Dizz 2006-08-20 Or, How to Get PETA to Murder You in an Excessively Brutal Way. |
|
|
|
Blu-Ray is God |
|
|
by: Expendable Sony Executive #524 2006-07-31 R&D's theory is that once we no longer see the need to go outside, Sony's profits can triple due to monthly costs for use of the Blu-Ray format, which as we all know, will eventually become the ONLY way to view reality. Some may say it's an unfair monopoly on reality, but hey, that's what our customers should come to expect from the greatness of Sony corporation. |
|
|
|
Sony, Lorne Michaels Forge "Holy Alliance" |
|
|
Sony, Lorne Michaels Forge "Holy Alliance" by: Press Release Man 2006-07-31 "I know I have a lot of loyal Lorneiacs buying my books and my DVDs, but many Jewish-controlled chain stores like Target and Best Buy won't carry them. It was getting to the point where the largest sales Live From New York, It's Mein Kampf got was through my website, stopthejews.edu. So to team up with Sony in order to distribute my work seemed like a great idea." |
|
|
|
DVD Re-releases: Fuck You |
|
|
by: Doom 2006-07-09 The Director's Cut as a whole has more justification than the other two rehashes, but even then it's dicey as a concept. Often you'll see an 'unrated director's cut' as opposed to just 'director's cut', like with The Grudge. Oh, what wondrous scenes the director placed back in to fully realize the artistic vision starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. |
|
|
|
World Cup? More like World Cup...of Gayness! |
|
|
World Cup? More like World Cup...of Gayness! by: Deathkill-360 2006-06-30 Who wants to see OTHER COUNTRIES THAT AREN'T AMERICA PARTICIPATE IN ANYTHING? NO ONE, NO ONE STRAIGHT AT LEAST. ALL THESE SOUTH AMERICAN COUNTRIES NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT SOCCER. These wetbacks want to IMMIGRATE to AMERICA without following the AWESOME AMERICAN LAWS, the VERMIN at least should adopt our REAL AMERICAN SPORTS, LIKE BASKETBALL AND REAL FOOTBALL. |
|
|
|
Being mistaken for a Newyorican |
|
|
Being mistaken for a Newyorican by: Rammspieler 2006-06-16 "Cuz we yall reppin da same flag even tho im american of boriqua decent and can't spell “Boricua” fo shyt, yo!" |
|
|
|
Education of Piece 1 |
|
|
by: Shigeru Miyamoto 2006-06-16 The your uselessness exactly together. It is well, or does not have be that. He who in the factory must work. And bitter throws away we time it the person and suspects of Asia? Foolish that afterwards comes. The possibility is no Anh, goes from its and your oneself and in order here if this to save, which it manages justice, it allows a fact. |
|
|
|
Live aus San Francisco |
|
|
by: Doom 2006-06-14 San Francisco is fucking expensive. The standard of living is higher than I can ever hope to afford and increasing all the time. Thus, retail opportunities, when presented, are very, very expensive. I'll give the example of the Virgin Megastore, a 'Megastore' where everything is outrageously priced to the point where regular customers of the store must just enter it with their pants pulled down and their wallets open, likely buying 2 or 3 CDs...for a total of $90. |
|
|
|
Fascism.net |
|
|
by: Doom 2006-03-22 Why the fuck would a decision to hire someone or not hinge on something as idiotic and unimportant as a Myspace page? "He has all the credentials for the job, and his Harvard transcripts are impressive, but, son of a bitch, the guy put 'Your mom' under 'Who I'd like to meet' on his Myspace. Consider him out of the question!" |
|
|
|
March: The Madness |
|
|
by: Nixon 2006-03-15 March is, by far, our favorite month for clinical insanity. Sure there's December Dementia and February Freakout, but March Madness defines America's love/hate obsession with actions that warrant institutionalization.
|
|
|
|
Lazy Sunday and the Apocalypse |
|
|
Lazy Sunday and the Apocalypse by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2006-03-15 Should Lorne Michaels actually be the Anti-Christ, his four Horsemen of the Apocalypse would have to be Jimmy Fallon as Death, Horatio Sanz as Pestilence, Colin Quinn as War and Tina Fey as Famine. |
|
|
|
The I Are Sam [More or Less] Complete Compendium |
|
|
The I Are Sam [More or Less] Complete Compendium by: Doom 2006-03-15
JDPLVY to me |
|
|
|
Larry the Cable Guy - The Right to Bare Arms CD Review |
|
|
Larry the Cable Guy - The Right to Bare Arms CD Review by: Doom 2006-03-05 His act consists of 'Larry tells people about his fictional life as a redneck because Dan Whitney was really never a redneck', 'Larry makes fun of liberals because he hates Ay-rabs and carpetbaggers', 'Larry wants people to learn American because diversity is new and wrong' and, of course, fart jokes. Basically, he'll be a FOX News Commentator in about 3 years. |
|
|
|
7 Skills of Highly Successful Internet Pedophiles |
|
|
7 Skills of Highly Successful Internet Pedophiles by: Doom 2006-02-07 If you want to molest the younger set, you have to hang out in the right places on the internet. For example, the best place to be a pedophile right now is Myspace.com because the amount of information preteen cam whores put on their pages. And the pictures! Oh, the pictures! It's the veritable nirvana for the child molester in all of us. Another good choice if you want to molest with the best is the AIM chat rooms. Sexual or romantic chat rooms will do the job perfectly, but I also suggest chat rooms based on popular television programs like The O.C., chat rooms that are certain to have young teenagers in them if that's who you fancy. |
|
|
|
Singapore Kid |
|
|
by: Rammspieler 2006-01-31 There are some things that I should tell you about Skykiller before I continue, as I am sure that knowing these things will make him look even more hilarious to you. You will see that he loves soccer to the point of obsession. He is a Power Rangers fan since he was 4 years old, enjoys writing fanfics and is also a big Darth Maul fan. |
|
|
|
Commando 5: Jason Takes Manhattan |
|
|
Commando 5: Jason Takes Manhattan by: Commando 2006-01-31 Master Shake! |
|
|
|
The Vestibule |
|
|
by: Nixon 2006-01-31 See, the Vestibule contains all that is wrong with the internet in one place, something few other places can offer. Shallow, pointless discussions on dumbass topics, mixed with a love of MySpace, pre-pubescent sex, and of course, Family Guy. In varying order. |
|
|
|
The Greatest Story Ever |
|
|
by: Commando 2006-01-23 No hyperbole intended. |
|
|
|
Nazi Angst 2 |
|
|
by: Doom and Rammspieler 2006-01-16 Doom: I'm going to take a stab here saying that none of these guys are jackboot thugs that populate the fascist wet dreams of girls, and instead they're fatass 34 year olds who post at Stormfront in the safety of their basement computers, working dead end jobs while every day worrying that the Jew is going to destroy their family. |
|
|
|
Behold, David Pickerill |
|
|
by: Doom 2006-01-16 The only reason’s or at least in my book for saying a film is truly a bad film
is if: |
|
|
|
Kidnap White Girls |
|
|
by: Doom 2006-01-01 Geraldo Rivera, the most useless concentration of human tissue I've ever found, is apparently the maverick newsman for many of these stories as well as other miscellaneous fluff news that's regarded as important at FOX NEWS. Why? Probably because Geraldo is a fucktard who can't be trusted with real news. |
|
|
|
Faithmouse |
|
|
by: Nixon 2005-12-08 Okay, at best this comic claims that John Kerry is a wood based product who's primary application could be the crucifixion of enemies of the Roman state. Okay, no, fuck that, this claims John Kerry's a Jesus killer. |
|
|
|
Oh, The Tragilarity! |
|
|
Oh, The Tragilarity!: The Silver Lining to Hurricane Katrina by: Doom 2005-09-03 It's pretty obvious that cats make shitty meteorologists. It's a proven fact. Their cat Doppler radar is way off all the time and the last time I asked a cat whether it's going to snow or not, he licked himself for 20 minutes. I assumed that was a 'no'. The next day: snow! |
|
|
|
Live aus Mexiko |
|
|
by: Doom 2005-08-18 ESE!
|
|
|
|
Understanding Ziggy |
|
|
by: Nixon 2005-08-03 "We all lived through the 70's. The clothes, the music, the heartwarming but rarely amusing Ziggy cartoons." |
|
|
|
Nazi Angst 1.5 |
|
|
by: Doom and Rammspieler 2005-05-24 Doom: So Hitler irrationally hated the Jews but decided to do nothing about them. Ramms+einFan4Ever: he actually had plans for them Ramms+einFan4Ever: massive deportation Ramms+einFan4Ever: he even gave them 5 years to leave but they didnt, idiots! Doom: STUPID JEWS, NOT LEAVING THEIR COUNTRY |
 |
|
|
Commando 4: Krazy KopKillah |
|
|
by: Commando 2005-04-02 Hey hey!
|
|
|
|
Downloading is Wrong |
|
|
by: MS Halo Helper 2005-03-26 The RIAA is trying sooo hard to stop evil pirates from stealing the excellent music their group protects. And yet everyone hates them for arresting young kids downloading Brittany Spears songs! They deserved it! Stealing is wrong, online stealing is called sharing, sharing is communism, and everyone knows communism is evil. At least those young kids will learn a good lesson about stealing now and never give or do anything without getting paid for it! |
|
|
|
Dear Nixon [not Abby] |
|
|
by: Nixon 2005-02-28 Now your ‘traditional' doctor would never suggest home surgery to remove the offending flesh, but I am not a ‘traditional' doctor. In today's fast pace Starbucks and ATM world, long medical treatments involving creams and pills can take days, even weeks! You can't wait that long to get her in a tube top! Simply using a common steak knife to remove the acne riddled skin will get it done in hours. |
|
|
|
Daily Raider Fan Art |
|
|
by: Doom, Nixon, and The Red Fox 2005-02-25
Our fans love us. |
|
|
|
Doom vs. Toby Keith |
|
|
by: Doom and Toby Keith 2005-02-13 Toby Keith: "I love me because God made me, and I love all God's creations. S'ept peoples different. But they're made when God was drunk. On Budweiser." |
|
|
|
Commando 3: The Revenge |
|
|
by: Commando 2005-02-12
Look at me, I'm the space Jew! |
|
|
|
The Tsunami |
|
|
by: Toby Keith 2005-02-10 People are criticizing the President saying he should'a given more money to Tsunami relief. I think that's wrong. The President was right, because the terrorists wouldn't use the money we gave 'em to help people or rebuild houses. They'd just buy more weapons and kill more brave soldiers. |
|
|
|
Maddox Sucks |
|
|
by: Doom and Nixon 2005-01-16 When you burn through topics as fast as Maddox does, and make so many broad sweeping arguments, the new offensive topics run out pretty fast. Before you know it, you are remarking how dumb women are again, and answering the same damn hate mail. |
|
|
|
Best of AIM Vol. 2 |
|
|
by: Doom 2005-01-16 The Undersigned: Italy? |
|
|
|
Perspectives |
|
|
by: Doom and Commando 2005-01-16 She also thinks that the outrage of McCarthyism was just a ruse so that the Democrats could deal with Soviet agents in treasonous activities. Well...I guess that...um...makes...no! It's insane. |
|
|
|
Proper Internet Conduct |
|
|
by: Doom 2005-01-09 Really, I just don't care if your cat died. |
|
|
|
Nazi Angst |
|
|
by: Rammspieler 2004-12-31 We will always have teen angst with us. But just like any teen fad, it always comes in phases, dictated by what MTV deems to be cool. This is not always the case, but most of the time it's like that. Ten years ago, it was “nu-metal. Now it's “punk” music. But I believe that this too is coming to an end. So greatfully, punk music once again will die and another stupid excuse for kids to act like attention whores will arise. |
|
|
|
Toby Keith Sports |
|
|
by: Toby Keith 2004-12-29 Speed Channel made me love Dale Earnhardt, rest his soul. His lack of safety is what makes this the land of the free. God bless him. But I never seen a colored folk on Speed Channel. I think they all ain't allowed to play Nascar. |
|
|
|
GameFAQS' Paranormal/Conspiracy Board |
|
|
The Paranomal Conspiracy Board by: Nixon 2004-12-29 Mayan 2012, one of my favorite Doomsday fads. Turns out a race that was wiped out by poor management, overcrowding, and a lust for human sacrifice (but made a bitching calendar) decided that making it past 2012 would be hard, so they ended it. If the world were to end on 2012 I would be more likely to blame it on current world events than a fallen civilization. Also, good luck finding me to tell me I'm wrong. |
|
|
|
Live aus Chicago |
|
|
by: Doom 2004-12-28 Chicago is oft referred to as the Windy City. Ironically, while in the city, it was the wind that was windy, instead of the politicians, who were mostly honest Democratic centrists. |
|
|
|
Non-Fabricated Mallard Fillmore strips |
|
|
Non-Fabricated Mallard Fillmore strips by: Nixon 2004-11-29 Man, Mallard Fillmore sure is a politically balanced funny comic strip. |
|
|
|
Commando Chicanery Vol. 2 |
|
|
by: Commando 2004-11-27 The Edge of Reason is, in fact, a slippery cliff. |
|
|
|
Best of AIM |
|
|
by: Doom 2004-11-14 The Undersigned: Call
Wonder Man and Yellowjacket! We need to take back the mansion. |
|
|
|
Commando Chicanery |
|
|
by: Commando 2004-11-05 I am so high right now. |
|
|
|
100 Names for vyralsurfer |
|
|
by: Doom and Nixon 2004-10-29 |
|
|
|
The Truth About Mr. Clean |
|
|
by: Commando 2004-10-15 Mr. Clean has the worst Jew-killing record of any individual ever (with the notable exception being God). I am sick of this poor excuse for a human being.He complains that all cable is owned by the Jews (except for the great Fox News Channel) and that he is tired of diversity on TV. |
|
|
|
MS Halo Helper on the Internet |
|
|
MS Halo Helper on the Internet by: Nixon and MS Halo Helper 2004-10-03 Instant messenger is a great way to make and keep friends, but it also has an ugly side. Not cool! First, always use proper language. I know, with all the new hip-hop fads and our super speedy fun life style everybody loves to use slang, but don't because it makes Webster cry. Plus, don't swear and use slurs. Words hurt feelings, and we all love feeling good, so why should we hurt others? |
|
|
|
Hunting Pedophiles Vol. 3 |
|
|
by: Doom 2004-09-27 BIGWIG1088: cool, i love it when chicks titty fuck my dick really good |
|
|
|
Hunting Pedophiles Vol. 2 |
|
|
by: Doom 2004-09-06 XiXiFireiXiX: do you like watchin' tv,
snuggled up under a blanket? |
|
|
|
Hunting Pedophiles |
|
|
by: Doom 2004-08-25 Agent of Matrix4: just......send me a pic of a naked girl in her teen years dont give a fuck if it black of fat |
|
|
|
The Dan Brown Oeuvre |
|
|
by: Doom 2004-08-23 skyblueVd: That's why you suck dick for schillings at the Tower of London! |
|