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NBA Jam Review |
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by: Doom and Generalissimo Furioso 1996-09-03 Funny how the liberals want to ban video games for "corrupting our youth" by "encouraging violence" and yet they don't want to ban NBA Jam, a game that in no uncertain terms will tell our children that niggers are just funny little characters who play basketball as opposed to the violent thug criminals that they are. The reason I bring this up is NBA Jam is basically the Communist Manifesto of video games. |
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Nights: Journey of Dreams Review |
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Nights: Journey of Dreams Review by: Doom and Generalissimo Furioso 2008-08-31 [puts shotgun in mouth] |
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London Taxi Rush Hour Review |
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by: Doom and Generalissimo Furioso 2008-08-27 Fuck this. |
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MLB 2K8 Review |
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by: Doom 2008-07-06 Many of MLB 2K8's attempts to appear cool and 'with it' fail miserably, like with the soundtrack. You know who put it together? Pitchfork. Pitchfork fucking chose the songs and so I have to listen to fucking Flaming Lips when I'm going through menus in Franchise Mode. DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I don't want the fucking Cure when I'm trying to trade Chone Figgins and John Lackey to the Brewers for Ryan Braun. |
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The Incredible Hulk Game (Wii) Review |
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The Incredible Hulk (Wii) Review by: Doom 2008-07-02 This game takes much from its predecessor, Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, which itself was a pseudo-sequel to the mediocre (because of Banner stealth levels) Hulk game, in that both games feature free roam play and a focus on smashing shit up for fun. I don't want to mislead you by implying there is anything fun about Incredible Hulk, though. There's not. Nothing. This pseudo-sequel botches the enjoyable gameplay of the original and adds nothing good. |
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Iron Man Game Review |
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by: Doom 2008-06-13 If you expect there to be any variety in the gameplay, your expectations are out of whack. You're expecting way too much from this piece of shit. The missions consist of shooting shit and the only reprieve from shooting shit is when you have to shoot shit within a certain time limit. Should that sound exciting...kill yourself. While it probably helped to speed up the development cycle enough so Sega could shit Iron Man Game in time for the movie, it doesn't make for a fun game. |
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Mario Kart Wii Anti-Review |
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by: the Sad Clown, Vladimir Cole, Mr. Competitive, Masahiro Sakurai, Mark Foley, Roger Ebert, the Yellow Claw and Barack Obama 2008-05-28 BUT I DON'T WANNA PLAY AS A MII |
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Mario Kart Wii Review |
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by: Doom and Malice 2008-05-28 On the downside, there are a lot of fucking baby versions of characters playable as drivers. How many? Too fucking many. Baby Mario, Baby Luigi, Baby Peach, Baby Goddamn Daisy. I don't fucking get it. Why do Nintendo development teams concentrate so on the babies when creating Mario sports titles? Maybe we've finally found the most recent Gary Glitter place of asylum. |
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No More Heroes Review |
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by: Cho Seung-Hui 2008-05-04 The point of the story is that when you start killing, you have to keep on killing so that you won't get killed. Now I personally found that killing myself was a good way out of the whole cycle because who can kill you when you're already dead? But I have to credit No More Heroes for the storyline overall; it involves killing of douchebags and Cho Seung-Hui is definitely in favor of the murder of all douchebags, for they are douchebags and don't deserve human rights considerations. |
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Forgiveaness Pleaseuh |
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by: Masahiro Sakurai 2008-04-30 I would also like to apologize for online mode of game. We did not anticipate children across the world would want to play online mode and so we did not put as much work into it as we should have. This mistake Nintendo and I am paying dearly for. We do not have solution for allaying this problem except perhaps sending apology to all of your homes through Wii system and adding new servers to online mode as fast as possible. How can we make it up to you? I could come to all of your houses to grovel but that would waste some of your very valuable time. |
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Red Steel Review |
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by: Cho Seung-Hui 2008-04-16 Red Steel. Yeah. Didn't expect that, didn't you? You thought I was gettin' it off to Grand Theft Auto 3 or Gears of War or Halo 2. Well, you were wrong. Dead wrong. Hahahahaha! Not as dead wrong as those VT suckers, though. No way. I honed my killing gifts through Ubisoft's Wii game, and let me tell you, it fucking rocked. It was so good it almost made me think I should not kill people at all and instead just continue on killing fake people in AI-created situations. |
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Sega Superstars Tennis Review |
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by: Doom 2008-04-02 Much like Mario Tennis, Sega Superstars Tennis has no story to discern, so one must assume these myriad characters decided to play recreational sports for the hell of it. Instead of being derived solely from the Sonic franchise, Superstars takes Sonic, Super Monkey Ball, House of the Dead, Samba de Amigo, Jet Grind Radio, Space Channel 5, and so on. I've never really liked any of the franchises, but at least I've heard of the majority of them. |
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Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law Review |
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Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law Review by: Doom 2008-03-26 Who told you to play the game? I didn't tell you to play the game. Reyes didn't tell you to put the game in your GameFly queue. No one told you play the game. Playing the Harvey Birdman game and expecting quality is preposterous, illogical, impossible. You cannot boil down legality into a video game about a man who has wings yet cannot fly. |
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Godfather: Blackhand Edition Review |
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Godfather: Blackhand Edition (aka Wii Edition) Review by: Doom 2008-03-26 Further hurting the game is the seriously retarded AI. And I do mean seriously. I'll give you an example. I'm trying to escape the cops. I hide in an alleyway, inside a room where I can duck behind a wall. Now, the cops see me going in there. Yet they do not follow me, despite knowing I have no ammo or weaponry or any fucking defense from them. It's almost as if when I disappear from sight I'm also some sort of invisible man capable of murdering them while they sleep. |
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Soulcalibur Legends Review |
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by: Doom 2008-03-23 RPG elements do nothing. Don't bother upgrading any of your weaponry or even using new weaponry received with completion of tasks. Who cares about upgradeable weapons? The difficulty never ramps up to a considerable degree. Therefore, you can kill enemies fairly easily by hitting them several times no matter what level your sword is at. I fucking it hate when adventure or action games extraneously put in RPG elements (almost always just upgrades which mean nothing) for the sake of simulating depth to what is always essentially a fucking 'hit things till they die' game. |
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Super Smash Bros. Brawl Anti-Review |
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Super Smash Bros. Brawl Anti-Review by: Reverse-Nerdlinger, Autistic Guy, Snap Foster, the Fanbot, Barack Obama and the Sad Clown 2008-03-12 We shouldn't complain about racism anymore so I find charges of racism against this game specious, spurious and without the audacity of hope. There are several prominent and positive black characters in the game, such as Donkey Kong and his little buddy Diddy Kong. Though they live in the jungle, they know important values like friendship, teamwork, collecting bananas and living life to the fullest. I'd be glad to have them as constituents. |
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Super Smash Bros. Brawl Review |
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Super Smash Bros. Brawl Review by: Doom, Generalissimo Furioso, Black Goliath, Nerdlinger and Josiah X 2008-03-12 This game is black all right...IF YOU'RE A MOTHERFUCKIN' RACIST. Seriously, every single fucking thing in this game Brawl is racist to the core. For starters, look at the black characters in the game. You won't see any unless you're a RACIST, in which case you see Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong and Mr. Game and Watch. Two apes and a motherfucker in blackface. That the best you can do, Nintendo? Why not put in mammy Candy Kong or blatant stereotype Chris Tucker "Funky" Kong? Motherfuckers. |
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Pokémon Pearl Review |
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by: Doom 2008-02-27 What a piece of shit. |
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Mario Party 8 Review |
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by: Doom 2008-02-06 Another thing that pisses me off is Donkey Kong's role, or lack of role, in the game. When I played the first three Mario Party games with my friends, I always chose Donkey Kong. I'm a DK fan and just generally a DK kinda guy. Who doesn't love gorillas who beat up lizards? Once the GameCube ones came out, however, I found out that they took Donkey Kong out of the playable roster and gave him a shitty DK spot instead. Huh? What the fuck kinda bullshit is that? He's Donkey Kong! |
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Super Mario Galaxy Review |
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by: Doom 2008-01-09 Let's get on with it. Super Mario Galaxy is the first Mario platformer for the Wii, and the third of the 3D Mario series. What makes it different from its predecessors? Here's a goddamn hint: look at the fucking box, asshole. He's in space. Floating around without any oxygen to keep his head from exploding. That's the hook. Mario in space. |
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Manhunt 2 Review |
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by: Doom 2008-01-02 The gameplay is pretty standard despite all the attempts by Manhunt 2 to appear edgy and groundbreaking. You go places, you kill people, that's about it. And you must do all the myriad tasks STEALTHILY. Ugh. Goddamnit. There's not much I hate more than stealth games. I tolerated Metal Gear Solid: GameCube, but everything else with stealth in it reminds me of those horrible, horrible times I watched Doctor Wankenstein play Splinter Cell ("FISHER! WATER MY PLANTS WITHOUT ME KNOWING!"). |
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Mario Strikers Charged Review |
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by: Doom 2007-12-25 The main mode is tournament. Like every other goddamn sports title Mario shows up in, the premise is winning a series of cups (fire cup, crystal cup, etc.) until you get tired of the game and stop playing. This operates on a quasi-'franchise' mode in that you choose a team at the beginning and must continue to use said team until the series of repetitive tournaments ends. Or your interest ends. Whichever. |
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Super Mario Galaxy Review |
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by: Nerdlinger 2007-11-25 Unrelated Spider-Man poem Doom forced me to put in the review: Spider-Man is a queer./ His Auntie May is dead./ He has all these bitches coming onto him./ And yet he cannot fuck one of them. |
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WarioWare: Smooth Moves Review |
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WarioWare: Smooth Moves Review by: Doom 2007-10-31 Apparently, Wario goes to a hidden and/or ancient temple and finds a Wii remote, though the game calls it a form baton, whatever that may mean or entail. Wario decides to use this mystical item to his advantage by utilizing it in the creation of the next batch of WarioWare games. It is your goal, nay, your duty to play these games so...actually, I don't know what the damn consequences of any of this are. |
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Spider-Man: Friend or Foe Review |
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Spider-Man: Friend or Foe Review by: Doom 2007-10-21 I've seen a lot of morons complaining about the graphical style, and of course their reasoning is the graphics look too kiddy. Yes, a Spider-Man game DEMANDS a realistic graphical personification of an alliterated man who climbs walls for a living. THE SERIOUS HARDCORE GAMERS NEED A SERIOUS LOOK, GUYS! KIDDY IS GAY. |
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Wapner Corps, Assemble! |
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by: The Fanboy 2007-10-14 No continuity shall escape our sight, let those who favor positive social interaction beware our power...the Wapner autism! |
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E3 2007: Nintendo: Ha ha ha ha ha |
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E3 2007: Nintendo: Ha ha ha ha ha by: Nintendo Imagineer #67 and Shigeru Miyamoto 2007-07-19 Nintendo Imagineer #67: Ha ha ha ha ha. We told you the Wii would be very successful, yet people underestimated us. That proved to be your ultimate folly. We at Nintendo learned our lesson from the previous two generations of consoles and have in turned used that knowledge to overtake all console markets in the world. We will most certainly not take this opportunity of financial and critical success to become large headed and blow our lead on arrogant, stupid decisions and shortsighted moves that alienate fans everywhere. |
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Super Smash Bros. Brawl Sucks |
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by: The Fanboy 2007-07-15 Masahiro Sakurai, this guy, this guy, he's just pissing, just PISSING all over us! And we just smile, and lick it up? Masahiro Sakurai KILLS FRANCHISES! He DEALS WITH THIRD PARTIES! He BEATS DEDICATED FANS! You know what he did yesterday? He screwed over my favorite character (Bowser) with the sole purpose of making this article seem like a personal vendetta! He may have assassinated a prominent character (Donkey Kong)! And that's just all in one day! I wonder what he's going to do today! I wonder what he's going to do to-MORROW! |
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Pokémon Diamond Review |
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by: Doom 2007-07-15 My favorite Pokémon ever - Infernape. I call him 'Rape' for his ability to sodomize any and all of his opponents. |
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Spider-Man 3: Wii Edition Review |
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Spider-Man 3: Wii Edition Review by: Doom 2007-06-20 If you put out such shoddy work in any other country, you would find yourself on the business end of a firing range. |
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Metroid Prime Pinball Review |
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by: Doom 2007-05-20 Seriously, out of all the Nintendo franchises to make into a pinball title, Metroid is at the bottom of the list, between Mario Paint and Mach Rider. It makes no Goddamn sense! Why would Samus become a pinball? Why would the various worlds she encounters turn into pinball machines? I understand Sonic indulging in that shit, but not Metroid. NOT METROID! |
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Trauma Center: Second Opinion Review |
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Trauma Center: Second Opinion Review by: Doom 2007-04-27 As for the House connection, Trauma Center boasts several references in the form of naming patients after House actors and characters. The downside? Atlus does the same for rival medical show Scrubs, aka Zach Braff's Comedy Bonanza. ARGH! HATE BRAFF! MUST...KILL...BRAFF! |
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Diddy Kong Racing DS Review |
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by: Doom 2007-03-10 An intergalactic warlord by the name of Wizpig [insert dirty joke here] tries to take over Timber Island. Timber, a friend to Diddy, calls upon the adolescent primate to help him ward off the attacks of the evil pig. The only course of action, the game tells us, is to race elaborately against Wizpig. Racing...stops world domination. Yes. I guess what magic pigs fear the most is being bested in cart racing. |
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Shadow the Hedgehog Review |
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by: Doom 2007-02-08 "I carry around guns and yet I've become so nummmmmmb!" |
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Super Monkey Ball Adventure Review |
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Super Monkey Ball Adventure Review by: Doom 2007-01-17 I sometimes wonder why the Dreamcast failed. Then I look at games like Super Monkey Ball Adventure and think, "Now I remember why!" The dolts at Sega have no idea of what to do with any of their franchises, eventually letting all of them atrophy from strings of bad spin-offs and sequels diverging from the original formula and replacing it with a terrible new formula. |
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The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii edition) Review |
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The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii edition) Review by: The Red Fox 2007-01-12 For my entire life I have been searching for something to give my life meaning. Only now do I find what I was searching for. Twilight Princess is perhaps the greatest game, no, greatest thing to have ever been created by man, but don't take my word for it. Simply read this completely unbiased review and you will know exactly what I am talking about. |
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Wii Love You |
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by: Nintendo Imagineer #67 2007-01-07 According to you, you don't want better graphics, do you? You don't. We checked by conducting an internal poll and by using our e-mind-reader technology to check, via mindscanning, if our fans (who we love) wanted graphics substantially better than the graphics found on the GameCube. At Nintendo, our main audience is the fans who love us who we also love. You great people don't necessarily need great graphics or better graphics or improved graphics or anything to make your gaming experience worthwhile. |
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Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects DS Review |
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Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects DS Review by: Doom 2006-12-25 "Defend the Grand Central which is now being attacked." (Now? THE LAST LEVEL TOOK PLACE IN GRAND CENTRAL YOU FUCKING IDIOTS) |
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Marvel: Ultimate Alliance: Wii Edition Review |
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Marvel: Ultimate Alliance: Wii Edition Review by: Doom 2006-11-30 Yes, like all great games, this DOES let you be a stupid white person. |
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Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Review |
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by: Doom and John Madden 2006-11-30 THROW UP THE BEEF HOME FRIES |
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Nintendo Wii First Impressions |
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Nintendo Wii First Impressions by: Doom 2006-11-23 The architecture is what it is. Nintendo never intended to improve the graphics much beyond the slightly better than Xbox graphics so don't bother trotting out that talking point, and maybe it's because I never played the wonders of the Xbox 360, but it's no big deal to me, the graphical limitations of the Wii. How many wrinkles and beads of sweat are needed to truly enjoy NBA Live 07 with Hats? As long as the game is fun, who gives a flying fuck. |
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Star Fox Command Review |
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by: Doom 2006-11-08 Furries, there's finally a DS title for you freaks, and norms, there's a good action shooter in it, too (so don't be turned off by the 'fox chick in barely any clothing')! |
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New Super Mario Bros. Review |
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by: Doom 2006-09-20 Oh, Luigi, you never stack up, not in stature OR penis size. |
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Astro Boy: The Omega Factor Review |
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Astro Boy: The Omega Factor Review by: The Red Fox 2006-09-15 What happens when time traveling robots fight in space in order to prevent the destruction of all his brethren? You get Astro Boy: The Omega Factor, where Factor stands for crap and Omega stands for a lot of. Now, pick up your buckets and dust off your pitchforks because we are going to dig right on in to it all. |
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Nintendo and the Jews |
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Nintendo and the Jews: Not-So-Strange Bedfellows in the War Against White and the PSP by: Lorne Michaels 2006-08-04 Anyway, Nintendo is trying once again to oust Sony out of console gaming king status, through their deceptive Nintendo Wii. They claim Nintendo came up with motion sensors, when in fact, obviously, Sony did. Nintendo just stole the idea, as all Jewish-run companies do. The Yakjewza is infamous for stealing ideas. The Game Boy? Sony. Nintendo Wii? Sony. Donkey Kong? Sony idea for a Betamax tape, Nintendo later stole it and made it into a video game. |
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Nintendogs Review |
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by: Black Widow 2006-07-22 In Bark Mode you use the Wi-fi capabilities of your DS to search for someone your dog can play with. When you choose this you have the option of taking a long a gift for that person and it's dog. However, being that I live on a mountain in Jersey, there aren't many people with a Nintendo DS. How horrible for me. But when I went to New York I got some responses and so, I experienced the joy of Bark Mode. It's actually fun...for a little. There isn't much to do in Bark Mode besides watch your dog and the other person's dog interact. Yay! |
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P.N. 03 Review |
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by: The Red Fox 2006-07-08 In the not so distant future, in a world ruled by robots who appear out of thin air, a world of continuously repetitive white rooms, a world which only one human actually lives, there is but one norm, everything...is...BORING. This new world is probably one of the worst creations ever made by the hands of man or Capcom, showing that, if this future did turn out to be true, most people would have committed suicide simply due to the monotony of their everyday lives. |
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E3 2006: Nintendo |
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by: Nixon 2006-05-21 While it doesn't try to be all the multi-media center extra features offered by the other consoles, this recognizes a very important point. You buy a video game console to play video games. Hence, not spending money on making extra features means you don't need to charge for them.
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Gun Review |
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by: The Red Fox 2006-05-21 Most of the game can be played going around killing people and, if they don't die from the bullets, you can take their "top knot." Hell, Colton doesn't even discriminate about who he scalps, anyone from Indians to women are fair game. Honestly, who can admit to scalping an entire town just for the fun of it. That's right, I can.
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The Nintendo Wii is for Gay People |
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The Nintendo Wii is for Gay People by: Deathkill-360 2006-05-14 My first job is to establish Xbox 360's supremacy over that FOREIGNER FAG COMPANY Nintendo's new system, The Wii, and establish how I am TOTALLY STRAIGHT unlike MS Halo Helper! |
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Star Fox Adventures Review |
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by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2006-05-04 HULK HATE STAR FOX ADVENTURES! GAME IS LIKE BAD ZELDA RIPOFF, NOT AS GOOD AS ZELDA AND IT SUCKS! ANOTHER THING HULK HATE IS ARWING MISSIONS! THERE AREN'T MANY, BUT THEY'RE STUPID! NOT FUN AND COMPLETELY EASY. HULK THINKS RARE PUT THEM IN JUST SO RARE COULD SAY "LOOK, IT IS A STAR FOX GAME! THERE ARE CRAPPY ARWING MISSIONS, SEE!" |
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Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker Review |
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Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker Review by: Shigeru Miyamoto 2006-03-29 Fight Club only with R button! |
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Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis Review |
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Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis Review by: The Red Fox 2006-03-05 What may be even worse than the actual horrendousness of the game itself would be the fact that there are people out there who actually enjoyed it. No, I'm being totally serious. When searching for information about Aquaman I stumbled across the review page on GameFAQs and was disgusted. There, three separate people reviewed the game and each person gave the game at least a seven out of ten. |
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Pokemon Channel Review |
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by: Jack Thompson 2006-02-07 I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF WE STARTED SEEING NEWS STORIES WHERE KIDS SCRATCHED PEOPLE WITH THEIR LONG NAILS, CREATING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF SCRATCHES AND EVEN SOME CASUALTIES! THAT'S WHY NINTENDO MUST BE STOPPED, SO OUR NATION IS NOT BESIEGED BY CHILDREN WHO WILL EMULATE THINGS FROM THIS MURDER SIMULATOR VIDEO GAME, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THOSE BRATS ARE MINDLESS CONDUITS FOR TELEVISION, RAP MUSIC AND VIDEO GAMES TO WORK ITS EVIL THROUGH AND WILL NOT BE GOOD HUMAN BEINGS UNLESS WE DESTROY ALL NEGATIVE INFLUENCES! |
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Feel the Magic XY/XX Review |
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by: Black Widow 2006-01-31 Japan! |
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Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance Review |
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Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance Review by: Doom 2006-01-08 I'm going to take a stab and say it's a group of heroes who fight an evil army of something or other that wants to rule the world for a poorly explained reason. Betcha I'm right. That's why I play RPGs for the game, not for the story. |
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Viewtiful Joe Review |
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by: Doom 2006-01-01 Viewtiful Joe is a game originally designed for the Gamecube that stars an average joe coincidentally named Joe. He's a nerdy young adult who's still into those cheesy hero movies he watched as kid, so he takes his girlfriend to see Captain Blue at the theatre that he works at. Needless to say, shit goes down. |
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Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction Review |
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Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction Review by: Doom 2005-12-08 Do you want to smash up tanks? Helicopters? City streets? Soldiers? Weaponize shrapnel? Do you want to throw cows? Well, brace yourself, because Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction has all that and more. Basically the only thing you can't knock down are buildings, and even then you can level certain ones, just not the entire city.
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Ultimate Spider-Man Review |
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by: Doom 2005-11-17 You know how often games are fun but have one element that drives you up the fucking wall? Ultimate Spider-Man has that in the form of the chase missions. Text descriptions do my extreme hatred of chase missions little justice. |
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Animal Crossing Review |
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by: The Red Fox 2005-11-17 The main thing with all these timed events is that they take place during holidays that many people celebrate with their families. This is kind of hard for me to wrap my head around, considering the only people who would play this game on those days would be either orphans or losers, but I doubt even orphans would hate themselves enough to play this game. |
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Star Fox: Assault Review |
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by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk 2005-11-10 HULK ALSO HATE HOW BOSSES REPEAT FROM STAR FOX 64! ANDROSS CLONES? HULK COULD PULL BETTER BOSS OUT OF HULK'S BIG GREEN BUTT! SERIOUSLY HULK COULD IF HE WANTED TO. ATE THE BEETLE WHEN BEETLE WAS GIVING HULK GUFF!
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X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse Review |
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X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse Review by: Doom 2005-11-02 If you're an X-Men geek, you'll be thrilled. Even Stryfe makes an appearance. STRYFE! |
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Donkey Kong Jungle Beat Review |
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Donkey Kong Jungle Beat Review by: Doom 2005-10-28 It's an ape with bongos. How can you NOT love it?
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X-Men Legends Review |
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by: Doom 2005-10-05 X-Men fans have always been whiny annoying nerds. Guess who else fits that description. RPG FANS! |
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Spider-Man: Mysterio's Menace Review |
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Spider-Man: Mysterio's Menace Review by: The Red Fox 2005-07-21 Fishbowl...Amusement Park...Mysterio must be at the abandoned amusement park! |
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Resident Evil 4 Review |
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by: The Red Fox 2005-07-04 Resident Evil 4 has probably the best graphics I have ever seen. Even without the pre-rendered setup, the entire environment seems realistic and really gives the feel of a dreary environment. Plus the “Widescreen” effect gives the game a twist, as well as making it more complicated. It's almost as if you can really experience the game, just don't try and really experience the game. |
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Tales of Symphonia Review |
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by: The Red Fox 2005-07-04 I've heard many people complain “I don't like RPG's because I get lost all of the time. Wah, wah!” There's no fear of that happening while playing Tales because a synopsis is available for viewing in the pause menu. Not only does it say what is going on and where you need to go, it highlights all of the things you need to complete. If you ever get lost, find something that's yellow and complete it. If anyone needed a walkthrough for this game they need to be locked in a dumpster with a bunch of hungry raccoons. |
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XGIII Review |
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by: The Red Fox 2005-07-04 The only problem is that the cycles all look like futuristic versions of Kawasaki's. Now, I'm from the Milwaukee area, home of Harley Davidson, and I find it offensive that they don't have a wider variety of vehicles driving down the street. I mean, what could be better than seeing a chromed out Harley barreling down the street blowing up those wimpy Kawasaki's. In my mind, nothing, or, at least, close to nothing. |
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Sonic Adventure 2: Battle Review |
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Sonic Adventure 2: Battle Review by: The Red Fox 2005-06-17 Sonic...only EEEEEEVIL and EXTREME. Until the sequel, when he's a conflicted anti-hero. Then we can herald the coming of Negasonic, the ultra-evil version of Sonic! |
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Rebel Strike Review |
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Star Wars Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike Review by: Doom 2005-06-02 You can play as Luke and fifth banana Wedge Antilles in levels where everything is usually broken up into two or three sections - starship, on foot and vehicle (AT-ST, speeder bike, etc.). For those who are dying to know: The Battle of Hoth does show up in this game. Oh, my hatred for Hoth levels abound. But this time you get to play it on foot. Joy! |
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The Nintendo Revolution |
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by: Doom, Rammspieler and Scarecrow 2005-05-24 While details are scarce about the NR, we can ascertain that it will also be a true Next Generation console in terms of media versatility, using HD-DVD and mini-discs, like the Game Cube. A free online gaming service is also in the horizon. But what should definitely be exciting to most is that through the planned online service you can download NES, SNES and N64 games. So including direct backwards compatibility with GC games, we have about 20 years worth of gaming goodness to come all in one small package. |
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Mario vs. Donkey Kong Review |
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by: Doom 2005-05-07 Mario vs. Donkey Kong gives Nintendophiles clamoring for a sequel to Donkey Kong that doesn't involve gorillas in diapers or exterminators an addictive game with fun gameplay and nice replayability. It also gives me the first good Donkey Kong game since Rare was bought by Microsoft. |
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Mario Power Tennis Review |
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by: Doom 2005-04-09 The basic storyline is that there is none. This is to be expected, but it would have been nice to add in a Tennis Alien who wants to imprison all of the Mushroom Kingdom unless they defeat him in a high stakes game of tennis. |
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Spawn Review |
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by: Doom 2005-02-01 Go to your local Funcoland and purchase a used copy of Spawn for the SNES. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, and by ‘pleasantly surprised', I mean ‘incredibly angry'. |
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Donkey Kong Country Review |
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by: Doom 2005-01-23 The Nintendo vs. Rare thing is really idiotic, considering that Nintendo fans loved Rare, oh, 4 years ago. But now Nintendo fans are acting like the jilted ex-boyfriend, who burns all the photos he has of Rare, and consistently calls Rare a bitch and a slut. It's insane. Nintendo has made good games. Rare has made good games. Can't we all get along?! |
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Pokemon Fire Red/Leaf Green Review |
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Pokemon Fire Red/Leaf Green Review by: Doom 2005-01-02 Nintendo's dominant marketshare in the handheld market has made them lazy; I can't remember many original Nintendo GBA games other than Zelda Four Swords or Metroid Fusion. |
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Medal of Honor: Frontline Review |
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Medal of Honor: Frontline Review by: The Red Fox 2004-12-01 You are Lt. John Patterson, or as I like to call him Fisher II. To be honest, when I was playing the game I thought I was seeing the retro version of Metal Gear Solid or Splinter Cell. All you hear from you superior officer is “Patterson, infiltrate that U-Boat,” or “Patterson, go into the Nazi base and get me a diet cola.” |
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TMNT 4: Turtles in Time Review |
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by: Doom 2004-11-07 Level 3, known to the Japanese as “Bonus Stage Power Force!” has your turtle surfing in a sewer, fighting radical Foot soldiers on surfboards, and also horribly mutated yellow alligators. I think this is where a plot could've come in. “Johnny Foot has just challenged Leo to a sewer race. Who will wins!!??” |
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Perfect Dark Review |
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by: Doom 2004-10-23 The Artificial Intelligence of your foes is quite good for the time Perfect Dark was released. Instead of going in one by one like a bunch of Stooges, enemies often work together to fight you. They hide. They duck. They slice. They dice! |
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WWE: The Reckoning Review |
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by: The Red Fox 2004-10-21 For a game with a plot that seemed like it was written by a ten year old, this game actually has pretty good graphics. The different selectable characters do look like they do in real life and even the audience has some reaction to them. There were a few problems when my character kept losing his arm into the mat, however. Other than that this was probably the best graphics in a wrestling game that I have ever seen. |
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Hunter: The Reckoning Review |
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by: The Red Fox 2004-10-17 This game could be played by a complete moron if need be. [Editor's note: vyralsurfer had no problems playing this game.] |
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Super Smash Bros. Melee Review |
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Super Smash Bros. Melee Review by: Doom 2004-09-06 I can't normally get into fighting games much, as most seem to be 'punch kick punch kick' with stereotypical Japanese characters like 'old guy who can fight', 'possibly homosexual muscleman', 'young girl who is used to serve as jailbait for older gamers' and 'WAAAAAAAAAACKY joke character', who is something completely asinine, like a giant banana or a robot that shoots kittens from it's ass. |
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