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Myspace Loser of the Week: Week 9
Let's all get caught by the FBI!
by Doom and Nixon
http://www.myspace.com/60968156
Today we award Myspace Loser of the Week to the FBI for its attempts to catch pedophiles/weirdos/sexual predators through the fake profile goddess of skulls!x. While, albeit, fairly generic in execution, the size of the friends list clearly proves the FBI is hard at work cleaning out one of the internet's cesspools. This thing has all the markings of a fake profile. General statement is about staying happy (to trap pedophiles who promise to make things better), love of Johnny Depp (Pedophile, "She loves Johnny Depp, she must be a real teen girl!"), swinger/bi status, and of course the finisher, pink fucking everywhere. So, like most government executed traps it is formulaic in execution, even if sounding good in planning. In fact, the only touch of creativity is the horrible taste in music, ala Cradle of Filth, but that's just trying to make the the 80's boxmobile car look unique by painting it turquoise, so to speak. It does nothing.
Let's dissect how the FBI uses this to sweep the most weirdoes, yet at the same time produces a Myspace obviously fake. For starters the "person" has 1500 friends. The FBI probably adds them spam style to give the profile a sense of depth. The pedophile goes, "Oh, she has 1592 friends, it can't be a trap!" Problem is, the jig is up. We found out about this profile when the "person" asked to add one of our loyal fans to her friends list. Clearly the FBI is simply inviting anyone it can find. None the less if the friends list gives the hint this person does exist, the blog is the contrary. Simply put, they have none. How does some who exists come off with 1592 friends without listing more the four interests a category and no blog? They don't, it's a clear giveaway. This is made even clearer when one notices that while having no blog, she does have pictures and videos. Clearly this is a Venus Fly Trap scenario hoping to get the pedophile/sexual predator to start trying to contact Goddess of Skulls!x, thus beginning a downward spiral that ends in a Dateline Exclusive report.
The FBI gets more desperate as one examines the side bar. Here lies the "dead giveaway" material, the kind of stuff you know rules this thing a fake. Why, oh why, is this person on Myspace? Oh, for "Networking, Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends " you say? Why that sounds like...all social functions ever. Sure, it's the widest net possible, but that doesn't make it effective so much as obvious. Another obvious giveaway is that she lists Scary Movie 2 as one of her favorite movies. Only a computer randomly generating interests off, say, an IMDB list, could make an error so grievous as to assume a human enjoyed that film to the point of "favorite movie". Music tastes, while theoretically possible, seem unlikely since anyone who listens to Cradle of Filth enough will eventually die of, say, ear failure. If this person has reached there late teens/early 20s by being a fan of it, they should by all means have died from it.
As you can see, Goddess' friends come from all different walks of life!
Lastly in the trip of FBI blunders is the friends/comments list. It proves, conclusively, that she is a FBI sting, because they used all their other pedophile/predator bots to post on this one. Nice job FBI, now that you figure one out, they all come down like a house of cards. That's just bad planning typical of government bureaucracy. However, I must tip my hat to the FBI for this brilliant method to dissuade people from harboring suspicions that goddess is nothing more than an FBI plant. In her profile it says she's from the United Kingdom; obviously anyone from the U.K. couldn't be a ploy by America's investigation bureau! An excellent tactic, whether done on ingenuity alone or as a result of a collaboration between the FBI and MI5. Either way, even though it's unlikely to result in catching a substantially larger network of sickos, it'll net a few more idiots than not.
To make a final note of compliment to the designers of the trap, Goth over Valley Girl was a smart touch, in that it avoids the most typical setup for "PLZ RAPE ME OLDER MEN" style of stings. However, in light of all the other flaws, this one "gem in the rough" idea is really overshadowed. I give this attempt by the FBI to catch rapists a 3/10, only capable of catching Homeland Security personnel.
Post-script: in the time it took to write this [a few days], this 'person' has changed their Myspace profile, the layout different but still stupid, and a change from 'swinger' to 'in a relationship'. This may be an indication that 'they' are on to what we're publishing, or old FBI Sting Operation #524 has hooked a weirdo that the Bureau's going to be reeling in soon enough.
Nice try, FBI, but we all know that goths are much paler and the blood they drink is much less Kool Aid looking.
View previous Myspace Losers of the Week:
Week 1: Autistic Josh
Week 2: Lor the Whore
Week 3: Juggalo Brandon
Week 4: Usagi Kou
Week 5: Stupid Wuss Man
Week 6: Jordan Powell
Week 7: Pat Lee
Week 8: Flora Bush