Livejournal Moron Week 59

Livejournal Moron Week 59: The End

by: Doom, Rammspieler, Generalissimo Furioso and Jedi Guardian

2007-09-30

The party's over for this existence! It's the end of mankind as we know it! Hell and fire! Hell and fire! Cause the tides are rising and the sea's coming in! A storm's a brewin'!

Livejournal Moron Week 58

Livejournal Moron Week 58: Marilyn Manson Community

by: Doom

2007-09-23

I sometimes allude to in articles and other on-site...things...that a long running joke amongst the staff of Daily Raider North is me yelling "YOU'RE OUT OF THE BAND, JOHN 5!" as either a response to someone doing something I feel is termination worthy or as a shorthand for explaining Manson's jerkass status. Sure enough, the first thing I see on the community relates to the semi-iconic (in Milwaukee circles, anyway) phrase.

Livejournal Moron Week 57

Livejournal Moron Week 57: 9/11 Jokes

by: Doom

2007-09-15

You'd think on the surface I'd be supportive of this group and all it stands for. Well, I am...to an extent. I love the principle and the theory of a community devoted to jokes. However, what works in theory often does not work in practice. Like [insert stupid reference to communism/socialism/Marxism here]. Making jokes about 9/11 requires, you know, a sense of humor. It should go without saying, but sadly it needs to be reiterated time and time again to people who don't 'get' it. Countless people try and try and try to be funny, and some make money off it (Dane Cook), but it's not something easily learned.

Livejournal Moron Week 56

Livejournal Moron Week 56: Anti-Feminazi

by: Ms. Feminist

2007-09-09

These people have the unmitigated GALL to call feminists FEMINAZIS. Feminists do not resemble Nazis in any way. We don't want to kill Jews; we only want to change the world for the better by imposing a strict rule of tolerance and equality, which would strip the Jews of all their religious observances while still preserving their religious observances (it will make sense, trust me). Nothing Nazi-like about that at all! Right? Right? Right? DAMNIT, YOU WILL AGREE WITH ME OR FACE PUNISHMENT OF UNCONSCIONABLE PROPORTIONS!

Livejournal Moron Week 55

Livejournal Moron Week 55: Johnny Peter

by: Doom, Rammspieler, the Fanboy, Chuck Austen and CliffyB

2007-08-28

Chuck Austen: Chuck Austen likes threesomes, but not the m/m/f kind of threesomes. Trust me, I've had them. They're nothing short of disturbing and disconcerting. There's too much of a chance of your dick accidentally hitting the other guy's dick. So obviously it's only for gay guys like this Spider-Man and Human Torch. Now if I wrote either of those two, I would not make them gay. Sure, Johnny would be into bondage and Spider-Man a chubby chaser, but it wouldn't be as disgusting as splooging jizz all over the spider on Spider-Man's back. That shit's gay.

Livejournal Moron Week 54

Livejournal Moron Week 54: Forlorn79

by: Doom

2007-08-21

crossplay - Please, please don't mean what I think it means. Transvestites are fine and all, but I draw the line at a 30 year old guy who has no business dressing up like Sailor Moon...dressing up like Sailor Moon.

hardcore zen - I think the jokes write themselves here.

michael moore - ALL LIBERALS MUST READ "NOAM CHOMSKY FOR AMERICA LOVING LEFTIST DUMMIES"

pearl jam - Pearl Jam makes violence acceptable.

Livejournal Moron Week 53

Livejournal Moron Week 53: Harry Draco

by: Rammspieler and Nixon

2007-08-03

Nixon: Okay, first off, what the fuck is with all this Draco obsession. The whole point about writing slash fanfic is for there to be gay sex where there was none, so why the fuck do they keep picking the most bitchy character from the series and drawing him like a fucking female. Honestly, if all the fan art on the website wasn't labeled as Draco I would think Harry was fucking some girl with a butch haircut and A-cup breasts. I mean look at that. That's not how a man looks unless he's post-op.

Livejournal Moron Week 52

Livejournal Moron Week 52: Michael J. Fox Community

by: Doom

2007-07-26

Livejournal Moron Week 51

Livejournal Moron Week 51: Proanorexia

by: En Esch and Guenter Schulz

2007-07-15

En Esch: As a former smoker and as a former skeleton man, I find much offensive with this post. Back during my 'lean' years, Sascha used to force me to smoke his used up cigarettes because it supposedly 'brought people into flavor country'. My addiction to cigarettes cost me my friends, my hair, my job, and my vintage 60s dress collection. Now I'm just a man sleeping in a box.

Livejournal Moron Week 50

Livejournal Moron Week 50: Fatshionista

by: Steve Niles, Josiah X and Stan Lee

2007-07-04

Stan Lee: Attack of the Killer Tomato! Attack of the Killer Tomato! You can really tell she shops at Wal-Mart, because those are the kind of people who go there: uglos. I'd fear her wrath due to me making fun of her, but you know how the saying goes: if you're fat and need a scooter to go around, you're too fat to know how to run.

Livejournal Moron Week 49

Livejournal Moron Week 49: Manstream Comics Part Deux

by: Steve Niles

2007-06-24

Cunts used to say STEVE NILES lacked game because Steve Motherfucking Niles wasn't popular enough to join the FOOTBALL TEAM. "Oh, you're not popular enough, YOUR OPINION DOESN'T MATTER", those BITCHES said. Well, STEVE MOTHERFUCKING DICKEXPLODING NILES SHOWED THOSE CUNTS AND FAGGOTS THE SCORE WHEN STEVE NILES GAINED THE POWER COCKSMIC AND BECAME THE HERALD OF FUCKLACTUS, THE GOD OF SEX, WHO MUST DEVOUR ENTIRE PLANETS OF PUSSY TO SUSTAIN HIMSELF.

Livejournal Moron Week 48

Livejournal Moron Week 48: Manstream Comics

by: Doom and Steve Niles

2007-06-02

Women aren't just good for sex and cooking; they're also good for pointless moral crusades!

Livejournal Moron Week 47

Livejournal Moron Week 47: Krissy

by: Doom

2007-05-21

One of her biggest fandoms is Magic School Bus. Now, remember that I'm not referring to the classic song "Magic Bus" by The Who. Or some psychedelic drug trip involving a magic bus of sorts. No, I'm referring to the semi-popular educational book and television series aired in the 1990s. Uh...aren't those fucking books for children and not freaks on the Internet? I thought so, and everyone with a brain should concur with me.

Livejournal Moron Week 46

Livejournal Moron Week 46: Today, we are all Hokies

by: Doom

2007-05-02

I spent almost these last two weeks wondering what the crafting world's response to the Virginia Tech tragedy would be. Finally, I know how the crafting world feels about an American massacre! Although I will say they responded the way I expected them to respond: by offering to do completely stupid and inconsequential things to ease the pain. Seriously, how the fuck does knitting help ease the fucking pain of families who lost loved ones? It doesn't, unless they're easily distracted by woolen objects.

Livejournal Moron Week 45

Livejournal Moron Week 45: Ayako Akatsuki

by: Iron Man

2007-03-14

In fact, this reminds me of the time I plowed five chicks at the same time. Some of you must be wondering "How could Tony Stark, a mere mortal, fuck five women at once?" Two words: Extremis, baby! Extremis allows my brain to run several different Iron Man suits at the same time, with none of the lag plaguing previous attempts to do so. With Happy on point as wingman, I fucked an Asian, a Mexican, two blondes and...uh...a stiletto wearing Suicide Girl wannabe. Yeah. That's the ticket.

Livejournal Moron Week 44

Livejournal Moron Week 44: We Speak English Community

by: Doom

2007-02-28

The reason behind why immigrants assimilated so quickly then and not now was if you didn't speak the language, the racists in Old Timey America would beat you with pipes and burn your shitty tenement down. 100 fucking years ago, Italians and the Irish weren't considered white. Italians and the Irish! In the 21st century we're a bit more tolerant of other cultures, so long as the other culture is suitably white enough or has enough good ideas for us to co-opt and take into American culture (I'm looking at you, black America!).

Livejournal Moron Week 43

Livejournal Moron Week 43: Buddhist Moms

by: Doom

2007-02-17

Unitarian? Those sick freaks! BURN THEM! BURN THE HERETICS! THEY'RE THE RELIGIOUS VERSION OF NIHILISTS! Anyway. This confirms my worst fears: the community attracts new age parents. The ones who let their kids refer to them by their first times. The ones who never beat up or rape their children as a show of dominance. The ones who let their kids have whatever their snotty little hearts desire. Fuckin' hippies.

Livejournal Moron Week 42

Livejournal Moron Week 42: MoSinging1986

by: Doom

2007-02-10

The explanation she'd love to have about why global warming threatens us more than ISLAMOFASCISM!: YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT. LOOK AT FUCKING PICTURES OF GLACIERS FROM 30 YEARS AGO AND THEN LOOK AT CURRENT ONES. I APOLOGIZE IF IT DOESN'T FIT WITH YOUR IDEOLOGY IF THE GLACIERS MELTING DO NOT INVOLVE ISLAMOFASCISM WHATSOEVER.

Livejournal Moron Week 41

Livejournal Moron Week 41: Gay Anarchists

by: Generalissimo Furioso

2007-01-31

But what really made me want to write about this particular group, was the fact that it was compromised entirely out of gay people, which just bewildered me. As most of my loyal readers know, I have nothing against homosexuals. I'm not even one of those people who stands for Gay rights just to be PC. I do it because they're human beings with the same rights as any of us have. So when I heard about a group of Gay Anarchists, the first thing that went through my mind was, What?, followed by I'm hungry and finished by I need to write about these losers!

Livejournal Moron Week 40

Livejournal Moron Week 40: Patriot Pen Pals

by: Doom

2007-01-25

The community starts off on the wrong foot by assuming everyone in our military is a hero. In fact, the vast majority aren't. Sure, some are, some do in fact sacrifice greatly to help other human beings. But most other are poor people or suckers buying into the idea of the military paying for college or providing job opportunities after the requisite 70 tours of duty. The military won't get you a job, unless Def Leppard needs a new one-armed drummer to complete their tour lineup.

Livejournal Moron Week 39

Livejournal Moron Week 39: Lost in Ur Tear

by: En Esch and Guenter Schulz

2007-01-09

En Esch: This reminds me of when I was a teenage girl struggling for acceptance and faced with the dark thoughts of suicide.

Guenter Schulz: I tried killing myself once, but the knife wouldn't go through my wrists. My doctor blamed my clogged arteries.

Livejournal Moron Week 38

Livejournal Moron Week 38: Leon Westbrook

by: Doom

2007-01-03

Leon is the classic example of what the hipster disease does to a person after too much exposure. While hipsterism first starts out as a calming influence, it soon becomes a parasitic entity that influences everything a person does, until the final result is becoming some pseudo-hippie beatnik soul patch douchebag. I liken it to the evil yellow space bug Parallax, only Leon won't end up killing the entire Green Lantern Corps; no, he'll just sip coffee in a Starbucks and pretend to be writing a 'really awesome script' that will 'revolutionize Hollywood'.

Livejournal Moron Week 37

Livejournal Moron Week 37: White Racialism Community

by: Josiah X

2006-12-25

The Jews created circumcision in order to determine who was to live and who was to die when they would unleash their Jewish monster, Ziononyus. The monster would have no eyes, only a foreskin vision. Anyone with foreskin would perish. Then they forced circumcision on us black men, because the Jews wanted to control us. See, the Jews have secret third eyes that they can use to control any circumcised non-Jew. It's all a part of their scheme to rule the world more than they already rule the world.

Livejournal Moron Week 36

Livejournal Moron Week 36: Republicat

by: Doom, Steve Niles, Gay Ultron, Sgt. Major, Bill O'Reilly, the Libertarian, Lorne Michaels and Wild Bill Fetus

2006-12-10

BITCHES LOVE ME CAUSE THEY KNOW STEVE NILES CAN ROCK! BITCHES LOVE ME CAUSE THEY KNOW STEVE NILES CAN RHYME! BITCHES LOVE ME CAUSE THEY KNOW STEVE NILES CAN FUCK! BITCHES LOVE ME CAUSE THEY KNOW THAT STEVE NILES IS ON TOP! WHAT UP, MY MOTHAFUCKERS! STEVE NILES IS HERE TO TEAR REPUBLICAT A NEW ONE (AND NOT FUCK HIM IN THE NEW HOLE, THAT'S JUST WHAT HE WANTS)! Remember when Steve Niles stole the girlfriend and killed the mother of some stupid faggot? Republicat makes him look cool by COMPARISON.

Livejournal Moron Week 35

Livejournal Moron Week 35: Goth is not Emo

by: Doom

2006-12-04

First, let's address the name and the assertion it makes. Goth is not emo. Hm. Similarities between the two: both lead to shitty music, shitty trends, shitty fashion (fashion so shitty even someone like me who doesn't care about fashion notices it) said trends eventually got incorporated into corporate marketing, they both cut themselves fairly often, I get pissed off by both of them equally, and way too many of them populate the online landscape.

Livejournal Moron Week 34

Livejournal Moron Week 34: Crazy Pagan Lady

by: Doom

2006-11-22

For fuck's sake, she is a Goddamn English major. And an aspiring writer. Anyone who says they aspire to be a writer yet regularly keeps a Livejournal and reads Fanfiction is not a writer; they are a hack in artistic clothing. The same type of motherfuckers you see in coffee shops telling their friends their intricate plans to write brilliant scripts or write beautiful music or perform amazing plays, none of which ever come to fruition because they spend too much Goddamn time discussing it in coffee shops with their knuckle-dragging, message bag carrying friends.

Livejournal Moron Week 33

Livejournal Moron Week 33: Emonazi

by: Doom and Rammspieler

2006-11-13

WHY MUST PEOPLE POST ABOUT THEIR CATS ON THE INTERNET? NOBODY FUCKING CARES!

Livejournal Moron Week 32

Livejournal Moron Week 32: Gnarly Guy

by: Dizz

2006-10-28

THROW YOUR ARMS IN THE AIR LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE THAT I'M STEALING YOUR GIRLFRIEND FROM YOU, BITCHES! You know who Steve Niles hates other than fags, homos, queers, bitches, whiny bitches, gays and Ben Templesmith (WHO ISN'T RETURNING PHONE CALLS FROM THE NILESPHONE!)? This fag, who I'm going to call from now on FAGDOR THE FAGGY ELF! FAGDOR IS SUCH A FAG EVEN STEVE NILES (PROFESSIONAL FAG HUNTER) IS SHOCKED!

Livejournal Moron Week 31

Livejournal Moron Week 31: Shadow Chameleon

by: Doom and Pope Benedict XVI

2006-10-21

My favorite aspect of the journal is the times she writes entries...to God. Holy son of a fuck. And I thought I was weird for writing blog entries in my own blood to Jena Malone while listening unironically to the Best of Devo. The idea of an immortal, inconceivable being reading Livejournal entries puts the fear of God in me. "Ho ho, yes, indeed, an astute juxtaposition of I'm The Juggernaut, Bitch, and the cast of The Practice if I've ever seen one! You're definitely going to Heaven, HaloFan420!"

Livejournal Moron Week 30

Livejournal Moron Week 30: xbrokenx

by: Bruce Banner/The Hulk

2006-10-14

RAGH!!!!!! HULK ANGRY (STUPID JERKLUMINATI!) AND HULK READY FOR HATING STUPID NON-DRUG GIRL! HULK SMARTER THAN THIS GIRL AND PUNY BANNER ALWAYS TELL HULK HULK NOT VERY SMART! HULK HATE RETARDS AND STUPID GIRL IS RETARD! HULK NEVER LOCKED KEYS INSIDE CAR, EXCEPT ONE TIME WHEN HULK LOCKED KEYS TO FANTASTICAR INSIDE FANTASTICAR (HULK AND DEFENDERS BORROWED IT FROM STRETCH-MAN, STUPID JERK WHO SENT HULK INTO SPACE).

Livejournal Moron Week 29

Livejournal Moron Week 29: Christian Sex

by: Doom

2006-10-07

Okay, the first thing you gotta do, Marty, is go back in time and rally for a flat tax! The flat tax will solve everything! The government will stop taxing you hardly and then you'll be able to enjoy life without the carnal pleasures involved in premarital sex! But then you gotta go back in time even further and tell God to automatically install a universal flat tax! Look how it's doing in Latvia, God would be crazy not to use it! With the flat tax, cigarettes, drinking and other habits won't even exist anymore, obliterated by the forces of good, and by forces of good I mean the flat tax!

Livejournal Moron Week 28

Livejournal Moron Week 28: Christian Geeks

by: Doom

2006-09-30

Why would a Christian be depressed when it's so easy to cure depression in Christians? It's a very simple one step process. Step 1 of 1: Think of gays, Jews, Muslims, Communists, liberals/atheists, Buddhists, all the other heathen religion people, and bask in the glory of knowing, "They're all going to Hell and I'm gonna be kickin' it Judea school with Jesus in his kickin' Heavenly pad!" See, depression all cleared up.

Livejournal Moron Week 27

Livejournal Moron Week 27: Fanfiction Race Freaks

by: Doom

2006-09-24

Doom's girlfriend: Anything interesting happen to you today?

Doom: Yes, I learned that there are people more pathetic than people who write fanfiction.

Doom's girlfriend: Wow!

Doom: I know.

Livejournal Moron Week 26

Livejournal Moron Week 26: MoSinging1986

by: Doom, Hitler Devil Thompson and John Madden

2006-09-17

The primary information about MoSinging or 'Mo' as we'll refer to her as from now on, can be summed up by the following words: "The nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind", coincidentally her journal title! When someone says 'lunatic', 'nonsensical', 'ravings', what comes to mind? Conservatism? Blind faith? Racism? You're right, all those and more.

Livejournal Moron Week 25

Livejournal Moron Week 25: Left Behind Community

by: Doom

2006-09-09

My favorite characters had to be Ray, the guy who goes 180 degrees from uncaring cheating-on-his-wife-and-hating-his-kids atheist to verse spoutin', Bible thumpin', you're going to Hell if you don't believe evangelist psycho. He's exactly what the Christian fundamentalists want us all to become!

Livejournal Moron Week 24

Livejournal Moron Week 24: Hulkamaniacs

by: Generalissimo Furioso

2006-09-03

SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN SCREW HULK HOGAN

Livejournal Moron Week 23

Livejournal Moron Week 23: Imortal Misery

by: Doom

2006-08-26

So, let me get this straight. She created an entire livejournal, full of hyperbolic statements of gothdom, in order to catch people prone to insulting such hyperbolic gothery? All in an effort to stop children which for all we know may be as real as Scarlet Witch's twin sons (actually composed of Mephisto's soul!)? Come. Play a little smarter, girl. I worked at setting traps for pedos and assorted Internet nasties for years, you don't spring traps through behaving in the manner of a self-entitlement cow.

Livejournal Moron Week 22

Livejournal Moron Week 22: Greg the Fuckhead

by: Doom

2006-08-20

Normal human being: "Argh! Stubbed my toe." (ignores it the rest of the day)

Drama Asshole: "Gasp! My toe is stubbed! The injustice of it all, what did I ever do to deserve this?! My life is so horrible! It's events like these that make me wonder why I haven't killed myself yet. I think I will write about this in my livejournal, shamelessly whoring for replies of sympathy."

Livejournal Moron Week 21

Livejournal Moron Week 21: PSP Community

by: Expendable Sony Executive #524

2006-08-14

As you know, we here at Sony love all our products, as a father loves all his children. But even we must admit some of our children are technologically and aesthetically better than other children. It fosters competition between the children and leads to better products for the consumer. The new ceramic white PSP has a better volume system, a higher directional pad and higher buttons. No, I won't out and out say people who continue to buy the original black PSP are morons, but one can assume a lot about a person if they choose not to purchase an obviously superior product.

Livejournal Moron Week 20

Livejournal Moron Week 20: Xbox Community

by: Expendable Sony Executive #922

2006-08-06

See? Right off the bat. Blatant anti-Sony aggression. Grounds for execution. Thankfully for us and for America, as soon as we were made aware of this post, the poster behind it was located, captured, tried, executed and then tried and executed again for good measure, to make sure he didn't respawn. We then burned his corpse for fear of his anti-Sony virus spreading to the rest of the American populace. Truth be told, his burning corpse stunk of evil.

Livejournal Moron Week 19

Livejournal Moron Week 19: Underwater Ally 3

by: Doom

2006-07-29

Why would a girl who looks eerily like a transvestite want to hang out with a grad student in Cairo?

Livejournal Moron Week 18

Livejournal Moron Week 18: Furry Republicans

by: Doom and Dizz

2006-07-21

Do you think Donald Rumsfeld would be a lion or a wolf? I'm thinking lion.

Livejournal Moron Week 17

Livejournal Moron Week 17: Weise

by: Doom and Rammspieler

2006-07-14

If I had to give him a rating on how his entry moved me, I'd give only a 2. Frankly, the "Surprisingly, my inaction changed nothing and things still remain the same! GET OUT THE SAFETY SCISSORS AND MAKE PAPER DOLLS...OUT OF MY WRISTS!" line of whinery only annoys me, not endears me to the writer.

Livejournal Moron Week 16

Livejournal Moron Week 16: ComradStalin

by: The Jewker

2006-07-05

I was a bit confused at first because at first glance ComradStalin appeared to be the standard Livejournal douchebag, airing his complaints about the world through a website which contracts more shit on a daily basis than Michael Moore on Thanksgiving.

Livejournal Moron Week 15

Livejournal Moron Week 15: Sissy

by: Rammspieler

2006-06-26

Just when I thought that bloodsports as a fetish couldn't be anymore weirder, along comes a guy who likes to be treated as a baby and wears diapers. Proof enough that nothing can get too weird for the Internet.

Livejournal Moron Week 14

Livejournal Moron Week 14: Self Injury Icons

by: Misery McGee Painford the 3rd

2006-06-14

Doom asked me to write this because "These fuckwads remind me of what a stupid, worthless pussy of an androgynous whatever you are." Despite how his cruel phrase reminded me of how, like, hateful these stupid conformists are, it also rang true because this is a community that is about self injury icons, and self injury is about the only thing I do well in this pain filled joyless existence people call "life". The people are just like me too!

Livejournal Moron Week 13

Livejournal Moron Week 13: Anti-Game Addiction Community

by: Rammspieler

2006-05-29

As any man who has discovered the finer pleasures in life, be it alcohol, drugs or video games will tell you, it's more fun to be doing what they are doing, even if it kills them, than to have to face a reality with an ugly girlfriend, bills and having to deal with mediocrity on a daily basis

Livejournal Moron Week 12

Livejournal Moron Week 12: Family_Guy Community

by: Bruce Banner

2006-05-17

The underlying irony of disliking references to contemporary film or blatant product placement for current wares, but loving Seth MacFarlane's work for tackling The Goonies and featuring such former blatant huckster product placement such as the Noid is lost on 'archervixen'.

Livejournal Moron Week 11

Livejournal Moron Week 11: Sepherotica

by: Rammspieler

2006-05-10

If the background art doesn't give away the fact that this Moron is serious when it comes to providing quality masturbatory material for the FF VII fan communtiy, then I really don't know what does. Hmm, BDSM, Explicit sex and profanity? The fact that it's implied by the "Reno/Yazoo" thing? Either way, this sort of shit was one of the reasons why I eventually turned away from all that was Final Fantasy related.

Livejournal Moron Week 10

Livejournal Moron Week 10: Raven55

by: Rammspieler

2006-05-04

Apparently, raven55 has not received the memo on why people drink. Well, you see raven, the reason why people drink is simply because it's fun, it helps us forget our problems for the moment and it's more effective than reading the Bible when it comes to comforting one's tortured soul.

Livejournal Moron Week 9

Livejournal Moron Week 9: Steel-Spine

by: Doom

2006-04-26

Steel-Spine has no job, no education, no prospects, and to make matters worse, lives in Scotland, a land whose only good exports are Grant Morrison, Mark Millar and Groundskeeper Willie. All in all, a total washout of a person, normal in all aspects of loserdom except for that blood masturbating thing. Also, from referring to the user info page, Steel-Spine is a woman, but I don't believe that for a second. Does THIS look like a woman to you?

Livejournal Moron Week 8

Livejournal Moron Week 8: Crazy Cat Lady

by: Nixon and the Red Fox

2006-04-14

Oh, Crazy Cat Lady. Reading her journal was like delving into some world of bizarre, and generally frightening, contradictions. Apparently she:

• Has gone to prison.
• Is a lesbian/isn't but wants to be.
• Is one of those crazy pet people who will eventually end up being arrested for owning 65 cats.

Livejournal Moron Week 7

Livejournal Moron Week 7: Pheowulf

by: Doom and Rammspieler

2006-04-05

He reminds me of that brief period in my life where I went to church every week and was forced to deal with other Christian youths so that I could be confirmed to take communion. In one of those classes I mentioned that I live in a mostly Jewish neighborhood and later someone said to me "Why do you live there? You do know that your whole neighborhood's going to Hell, right?" And that was someone from a liberal church! I'd hate to see what church this weirdo goes to.

Livejournal Moron Week 6

Livejournal Moron Week 6: Dante the Furry

by: Rammspieler

2006-03-29

She even tries to be a yiffin' furry when going out to medical appointments! Apparently, she manages to scare people. I would be scared too if I were her dentist. I just hope that she doesn't go to the dentist that I used to go to when I was a kid. He was a mean old mother fucker, but he had his dental suites decorated in a jungle motif so the kids wouldn't freak out. She would probably try and jum the dental lamp and tray stand though, as those were decorated as giraffes and she would just be following her 'natural predatory instincts' or something.

Livejournal Moron Week 5

Livejournal Moron Week 5: Billy Corgan

by: Doom

2006-03-22

Some would feel sorry for Billy Corgan, because this livejournal proves that he doesn't have much of a life left and is getting pathetic, even for him. I understand their view, even though I cannot share it because of Zwan, because these posts do make Corgan sound like a loser with nothing left in his life except 'post old stories about me back when the world didn't despise and loathe me'. It appears that a lot of people feel sorry for him because he has at least 900 friends, which I'm sure is out of sympathy because his solo album sold less than 900 copies.

Livejournal Moron Week 4

Livejournal Moron Week 4: Usagi Kou

by: Doom and John Madden

2006-03-12

The body of the post begins strongly with the hopeless plea "Why can't everyone just be happy?" but then it quickly devolves into a series of clichés and ideas we've all heard before. She sounds like an afterschool special combined with an athlete public service announcement telling kids to buckle their safety belts. I mean, what next, is she going to start appearing on motivational posters alongside the "Hang on there, baby!" cat?

Livejournal Moron Week 3

Livejournal Moron Week 3: Malibu Stacy

by: Doom

2006-03-05

A lot of her recent entries are about the Winter Olympics, which I found amazing because that means there's at least one person in the universe who cares about the Olympics. She can go from talking about politics to how AWESOME COLDPLAY IS!!!! It's pretty amazing and by amazing I mean scary, disturbing and fucked up. These parts of her livejournal are boring to read, but they do help to paint her as someone who's unaware of how much of an idiot they really are. That and her love of Joel Schmaucher's Phantom of the Opera. No, that's NOT a typo. She actually likes that piece of shit.

Livejournal Moron Week 2

Livejournal Moron Week 2: Imortal Misery

by: Doom

2006-02-27

Oh no, homework is numerous! TIME TO SLICE AWAY MY PROBLEMS! I'm feeling some vicarious philosophy in this post, folks, because every original thought reads very second hand here. Perfectionist? Fuck the world? Misanthropy? Reminds me of the Ben Stiller Show called 'Clichéd Tales of Low Budget Horror', about a misanthropic DJ named Damien Faustman who hates people 'almost as much as I hate...myself'. Llike Ben Stiller's character, this clichéd little girl will go on to spend eternity in a low budget version of Hell where clocks have blood on them.

Livejournal Moron Week 1

Livejournal Moron Week 1: Exnine

by: Doom, Nixon and the Red Fox

2006-02-14

There's something to be said for trying to style your LiveJournal as a book of poems. It's a stupid idea. Most poetry printed is shit, for that matter the ramblings of a guy who thinks Dashboard Confessional is cool. In fact, his list of interests reads like a diagram for the most lame ass emo person ever. Books? Chuck Palahniuk. Bands? Thrice, The Birthday Massacre, Sisters of Mercy. Films? Tim Burton films like Edward Scissorhands and The Nightmare Before Christmas. Plus, he's a straight-edge. I'd go into that more but I don't want to have to kill someone today.