Best viewed in 1280x1024
The Daily Raider is brought to you by the Project for an Unamerican Century and the Ronnie Gardocki Beard Preservation Society. The Daily Raider accepts donations, but we will only use them for liquor, cocaine and South American prostitutes.
Livejournal Moron of the Week: Week the Fourth: Fighting inanery by moonlight, kicking ass by daylight
by Doom and John Madden
Yes, this week we are proud to present you a crossover, in that not only is the Myspace Loser of the Week Usagi Kou, so is the Livejournal Moron of the Week! This may be seen as 'piling on', to devote the entire week to an obviously mentally sick person, but it's good for comedy to make fun of the worthless and pathetic, and this girl is about as worthless and pathetic as one can get without becoming a Los Angeles Dodgers fan. So strap yourselves in people, we're going on a comedy acid trip through the magic world of cosplayer sociopaths!
Now, her journal is friends-only, and there's no fucking way in Hell that I'm going to be friends with a fucking cosplayer, so there's not much material to put in the ol' comedy rocket launcher, but that's never stopped the Raider before. Let's roll the first clip and see what we've got for our viewers at home.
http://sailormoon.livejournal.com/
Hm. This is one of the only posts of her livejournal that I can access. It's a heavy paragraph of bullshit that needs something we like to call a LIVEJOURNAL BULLSHIT BREAKDOWN. And who better to break it down than the man himself, John MADDEN!
Thanks Doom! Usagi Kou begins her post by saying that people piss her off. This shows that Kou is oddly enough somewhat human in that people piss her off sometimes, something that happens to a lot of people, but I can't say all the way human for obvious reasons. Anyway, the body of the post begins strongly with the hopeless plea "Why can't everyone just be happy?" but then it quickly devolves into a series of clichés and ideas we've all heard before. She sounds like an afterschool special combined with an athlete public service announcement telling kids to buckle their safety belts. I mean, what next, is she going to start appearing on motivational posters alongside the "Hang on there, baby!" cat? There have been better livejournal posts on this subject written a long time before this one. It's like if the Cincinnati Bengals took the New England Patriots playbook and said "Here, let's show the League our new plays!" You don't praise that team for being unique and having important plays that need to be showcased on the national level, you laugh at them and then cut to a Steelers game! And that's exactly what should be done with Usagi Kou.
Nice to see you back, John. Now that we have the only entry she's made public done and over with, all we have left is her profile page which is where the REAL freakshow begins. First of all, she's some crazy chick pretending to be an anime character, Sailor Moon in this instance obviously, and apparently she forces her boyfriend to dress like that gayass Tuxedo guy from Sailor Moon, too. I really have to question the sanity of someone who physically and mentally models themselves after a TV show character intended largely for children and pederast men. It'd be like someone naming themselves Optimus Pri...oh, wait. But my point still stands.
What's most interesting is that apparently there are people who idolize her, I guess in the way some deluded fuckwits idolize Charles Manson. I don't think I will be able to understand why people would be friends with, much less follow, a crazy girl who thinks that she is the reincarnation of a cartoon character. I don't have as exact knowledge of her 'fanbase' as Rammspieler does over at Myspace Loser of the Week, but I can make some predictions based on Bruce Banner's curve of Internet stupidity. A small amount of people listen to her because she's an idiot and they like mocking her behind her back, the large majority of people are idiots who listen to her because there's some sort of sick master/slave queen/hive relationship going on, and the other minority of the curve are people so stupid, they are comatosely drooling in front of a computer with Usagi Kou's livejournal on perpetually. You see, these are the kinds of people that the Daily Raider was destined to fight, the worker bees of Usagi Kou's proverbial queen bee.
Usagi Kou is obviously not a sane person, so I feel somewhat bad about mocking her mercilessly. Well, not really. But either way, she's a head case who thinks she's Sailor Moon. What else is there to say?
View previous Livejournal Morons of the Week:
Week 1: Exnine
Week 2: Imortal Misery
Week 3: Malibu Stacy