Blog Moron Week 277

Blog Moron Week 277: Ann Althouse

by: Doom

2012-06-03

I'm sure if Barrett wins the conservatives will say "all right, fair enough". Oh wait, they won't, they'll whine about voter fraud and niggers hanging from rafters like they do every time something they don't like happens. Fucking prigs like Althouse just prove that some people don't deserve democracy.

Blog Moron Week 262

Blog Moron Week 262: Big Freakout

by: Doom

2012-03-04

"A happy warrior in the world of ideas", I haven't read through the Twilight books lately, but that might be the worst phrase written in the history of the written word. Happy warrior? Seriously? That fucking phrase will be on this douchebag's tombstone, I hope; that abortion of a compliment ought to follow him the rest of his miserable bubble world existence.

Blog Moron Week 237

Blog Moron Week 237: 9/11 Tearjerkers, Vol. 1

by: Doom

2011-09-11

What's John Nolte doing, besides erroneously signing people's Cabin Boy DVDs? Uh...blogging about how the Left stinks and grousing over them letting us lose Vietnam too, even though Nolte was either too young or too deferments up his ass to serve himself. His self-realization he's a pussy who talks a military hardon game but doesn't walk anywhere but the convenience mart for some more salty snacks and perhaps an issue of Playboy leaves him with latent rage that manifests in public as screeds against his political enemies. We fucked up Vietnam! We fucked up the War on Terror!

Blog Moron Week 37

Blog Moron Week 37: GayPatriot

by: Doom, Rammspieler and Generalissimo Furioso

2008-09-14

Palin is a worse version of Khrushchev: a spineless toady when in her interest until it becomes politically in her best interest to get Beria killed and move up the succession. One only hopes she, like Nikita, gets shitkicked into private life later on in her joke of a political career. Bring on motherfucking Brezhnev.

Blog Moron Week 36

Blog Moron Week 36: Palin for VP

by: Doom, Generalissimo Furioso and Nerdlinger

2008-09-07

Something you shouldn't do when you resemble someone busted for child porn and flagrant fraternization with 'the ugly stick' is name yourself "the Elephantman". I mean, Jesus fucking Christ. Look at that fucking smeared abortion he would call facial hair.

Blog Moron Week 35

Blog Moron Week 35: Sad. Just...sad.

by: Doom, Generalissimo Furioso and Jedi Guardian

2008-08-31

One last thing: archbishops should be "the spiritual advisors to the dungeonmaster", not people with actual power. Archbishop sounds like a staff position on the Battlestar Galactica.

Blog Moron Week 34

Blog Moron Week 34: Kaiser Dammerung

by: Doom, Rammspieler, Generalissimo Furioso and Jedi Guardian

2008-08-24

We've covered gay Republicans and now it's time to cover another minority within the gay minority. The ever so obscure gay gamer! They say that female gamers are rare but that's just because most of your average 12 year-old Gears of War players still seem to think of girls as the carriers of cooties and would rather insult them first in the hopes of scoring a date with one. On the other hand, nobody hears about gay gamers! Why is that? Because much like Republicans, the gamer community is in itself homophobic.

Blog Moron Week 33

Blog Moron Week 33: Matthew Yglesias

by: Doom

2008-08-17

The gentry in particular interests me. They're nobodies, yet their aspirations are not grand the way in which every nobody hopes to be significant. People like Matt Yglesias appear content to become ensconced in a sea of like-minded, soulless, technocratic writers who took a couple Political Science courses in college and think it's time to pretend to be Zbigniew Brzezinski or Henry Kissinger or some other notable bloodsucker.

Blog Moron Week 32

Blog Moron Week 32: TBogg

by: Doom

2008-08-10

TBogg creates a visceral metaphor more than implying Naderites live in fantasyland and no way could he ever win so don't bother throwing your vote away it's useless BUT DON'T YOU DARE DO IT OR ELSE OBAMA WILL LOSE AND IT'S ALL YOUR AND RALPH'S FAULT.

Blog Moron Week 31

Blog Moron Week 31: Respublica

by: Doom

2008-08-03

Respublica, which is indeed a name that's as stupid as it sounds, is apparently written by the wife of a Lutheran pastor. Draw your own conclusion there and if you won't, I will: she's fucking stupid. No one would marry a Lutheran pastor if they didn't believe in God and shit. Unless the guy had a huge dick, although I highly doubt that.

Blog Moron Week 30

Blog Moron Week 30: Alas, a blog

by: Doom

2008-07-27

I'll give one thing to the Republicans: they're serious about shit. The shit they're serious about is ridiculous, sure, but those fuckers are hardcore while their equivalents on the left side drone on about pointless bullshit like Joss Whedon and facets of the Internet. That's also what I admire about activists in the 60s and Communists - except for the hippies and the college Marxists, reform and revolution is their priority one. These schmucks just come off as Internet cat ladies who whine about Old Man McCain being mean towards Shiny New Toy Obama.

Blog Moron Week 29

Blog Moron Week 29: Hip and Thigh

by: Jedi Guardian

2008-07-20

The first thing you should notice of this week's moron is that not only he's a fundamentalist Christian who is in full lust with his home state of Arkansas (also known as a poor man's version of Kansas, that's a sad case), but he's recently begun residing in the state of...California. A FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIAN LIVING IN CALIFORNIA! How does this makes sense, you ask? The simple answer is: it doesn't. Fred Butler lives in the only state in the union (barring Massachusetts) that legalizes gay marriage, for starters. Wouldn't that, I don't know, BOTHER HIM SOMEWHAT?!

Blog Moron Week 28

Blog Moron Week 28: Daily Pundit

by: Doom

2008-07-13

e's apparently of the neocon breed which believes we and the Arab world are experiencing a misery gap and we need to increase their misery as 9/11 like totally out miseries the Afghanistan and Iraq wars since GODDAMNIT THEY WERE AMERICANS DUDE WHOSE LIVES ARE WORTH 5 ARABS AT LEAST!

Blog Moron Week 27

Blog Moron Week 27: I am the King's Good Servant, But God's First

by: Doom, Generalissimo Furioso and Jedi Guardian

2008-07-06

Of all the things to bitch about in Iraq, it's no surprise God's gimp chose to highlight the horrible, horrible abuse those dastardly Iraqis mete out to those holy Iraqi Christians. They're 3% of the population! Oh, who cares. We've killed, ethnically cleansed or displaced far more than that. It says a lot when to write a post about anti-Catholic violence in Iraq, IN IRAQ, one needs to use the timespan of about a year to mine enough anecdotes for a perfunctory blog post.

Blog Moron Week 26

Blog Moron Week 26: Vladimir Cole

by: Doom

2008-06-30

Now, from the outset Vladimir does not seem like a yuppie because in many posts he scorns crass consumerism. But you need to realize yuppies are not solely defined by their love of commodity, their near erotic joy in picking up new clever furniture from Ikea or some other fucking slave labor outfit from Europe. See, the identifying characteristic of yuppies, the most important one, is that they feign. Feigning is key, people.

Blog Moron Week 25

Blog Moron Week 25: Paul's Ponderings

by: Doom

2008-06-22

Christians have the defense mechanisms of being pussies. It's very shrewd on their part. The veneer of sweetness and milquetoast simplicity translates to a larger scale "you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, now would you?" that leaves the aggressor looking like a mean bully. But the outward smile only obfuscates the hatred and idiocy underneath. Christianity has good marketing and little else.

Blog Moron Week 24

Blog Moron Week 24: Wine Blogging

by: Doom

2008-06-15

How can wine have a grip? How can wine have youthful aggression? I'd really like to know how a wine can be aggressive. Does the wine punch you in the face or what? Fuck metaphors. There's certainly a place for them, otherwise reviewing would get quite boring, but one must keep them in the realm of possibility, lest you start describing shit as a jungle when you're fucking drinking fermented grapes.

Blog Moron Week 23

Blog Moron Week 23: Suburban Survivalist

by: Doom and Generalissimo Furioso

2008-06-13

Suburban Survivalist claims not to be the kind of survivalist you and I are all thinking about when we hear the term. Indeed, there are no guns, no bombs, no paramilitary training on the part of the Suburban Survivalist. Instead he/she/it is suburban, meaning they don't do anything risky like oppose the government, refuse to pay taxes or buy up illegal weaponry for the coming Helter Skelter.

Blog Moron Week 22

Blog Moron Week 22: Kanye West

by: Michael Richards

2008-06-01

I suspect his albums are successes with the African-American community because The College Dropout is such a fantasy for them; the majority of black people are only able to drop out of high school, after all.

Blog Moron Week 21

Blog Moron Week 21: A Religious Liberal Blog

by: Doom

2008-05-25

My atheist/progressive Christian conversation would go like so: Atheist: "You're fucking stupid." Progressive Christian: "Well, I respectfully disa--" Atheist: "OH SHIT I'M BEING POSSESSED HAHAHAHA I AM AN INSTRUMENT OF SATAN!" Progressive Christian: "Oh no!" Atheist: "Fooled you. You're still fucking stupid, you fucking stupid retard."

Blog Moron Week 20

Blog Moron Week 20: Spiritually Unequal Marriage

by: Doom, Generalissimo Furioso and Jedi Guardian

2008-05-18

Doom: "When does the plot start to unravel here? I mean, who is this girl? Is she political prisoner?"

Generalissimo Furioso: "There's no plot. It just goes on like that for an hour."

Doom: "Like what?"

Generalissimo Furioso: "Like that. Torture, murder, mutilation."

Blog Moron Week 19

Blog Moron Week 19: Blogs for Terri

by: Doom, Generalissimo Furioso and Jedi Guardian

2008-05-11

This blog is still semi-regularly updated with bullshit. Why? I have no idea. Isn't the issue dead, literally, people? What is there left to blog about. Really, it reminds me of the early SNL running gag of "Francisco Franco is still dead", since that's all you can say when updating a blog about Terri Schiavo. The rest of the available topics include ruminations on "NEVER AGAIN" and free advertising for Terri Schiavo family members who want to make money off the vegetable getting thrown out in the trash.

Blog Moron Week 18

Blog Moron Week 18: Anime Brog

by: Ho Chi Gookerson

2008-05-04

We spend arr day in cubicres cracking away on typewlitels to wlite TPS lepolts for Birr Rumbelgh whire my fleinds considel wliting up a ploglam to stear funds flom the company bank funds. Foltunatery, I am thele to lemind them that is storen flom the prot of Supelman Thlee, stalling Lichald Plyol, so they leconsidel. Some peopre might see this as possibry reaning on copylight inflingement for lipping off the wolk of Mike Judge, but to that I say, no sil, you'le the one who is lipping off the countress events that have occulled duling my riving cycre! Herr, I might take Mike Judge to Coult fol inflinging on the lights of Lichald Plyol and Chlistophel Leeve!

Blog Moron Week 17

Blog Moron Week 17: Northern Illinois

by: Cho Seung-Hui

2008-04-27

Only reason I like/liked the Second Amendment is it allowed me to get some killin' guns with little difficulty. Who knows, maybe I wouldn'tve bothered if I had to go through illegal channels or have one of those stupid 30 day waiting periods. On that last one I at least would've had to, like, wait till finals, which would be really shitty since I didn't intend on studying for any of my finals (on account of being wormfood).

Blog Moron Week 16

Blog Moron Week 16: Naziblogosphere

by: Doom

2008-04-20

Pay attention to the bolding, the underlining, the red font. All these are hallmarks of the crazy Nazi blog. They somehow believe these tricks make their writing (or in this case copy and pasting mostly) more true or valid. And note how the comments added by this blogger are entirely nonsensical (which says something, considering Eric Margolis' article is fanciful rubbish). "Stalin spoke fluent Jew"? What does that mean?

Blog Moron Week 15

Blog Moron Week 15: McCain Blogette

by: Doom

2008-04-13

What do we learn from the blog entries at McCain Blogette, besides the obvious 'nothing'? Well, the lesson I take away from her blog has changed my way of thinking about politicians' spawn forever. I used to believe they were ordinary human beings forced into a difficult situation which puts them in the public eye whether they want it or not. Now? Overentitled morons deserving of nothing but contempt. Meghan McCain does nothing of any merit and yet her activities are bankrolled anyway by her rich parents.

Blog Moron Week 14

Blog Moron Week 14: Political Blogs

by: Doom

2008-04-06

The thing is, people don't really read political blogs for nuance or analysis of current affairs. They may say they do, but they don't. Blogging is the fucking easiest possible way to proclaim your opinion while doing the least work possible. Therefore, people who read it do so to affirm their own opinion rather than learn anything new or alter their own perception of the world. Admittedly, that's true for everything people do, not just their political blog preferences. Yet it bears noting that people don't learn anything from blogs; they use the blogs as evidence of their being right.

Blog Moron Week 13

Blog Moron Week 13: Comics Should Be Good

by: Doom

2008-03-30

The most annoying aspect has to be the writing style of the main contributor, Brian Cronin. I don't think I've ever seen the guy swear. As such, he uses words like "darn" in place of real curse words. I don't know why it irks me so, but it does. I mean, come on. It's not like kids read the fucking blog; so why bother censoring with Ned Flanders-esque substitutions for curses? He sounds like a fucking cheesy morning DJ, and so do most of the rest of the contributors to the blog, like myopic old man Greg Burgas or myopic-er old man Joe Rice.

Blog Moron Week 12

Blog Moron Week 12: Brew City Brawler

by: Charlie Sykes

2008-03-23

Only a real crumbum would criticize Scott Walker. Scott Walker is a devoted public servant, and despite my hatred of public and servants in general, I must tip my hat to Scott Walker. He is a fiscally responsible county executive and he shows how the job should be done. So what if he barely does the specifications of his job? That's the point! He's undermining the Jewish composition of the county government that's been ingrained ever since Comrade Zeidler and his buddies took over the state! We need more county employees like Scott Walker to destroy the big state government from the inside out.

Blog Moron Week 11

Blog Moron Week 11: Badger Blog Alliance

by: Generalissimo Furioso

2008-03-16

There's nothing worse for me than to see conservatives being jackaninnies on the Internet, most notably because I can't walk up to them and give them the swift kick in their pasty asses they so rightfully deserve. I don't know if I ever said this before, but I think that blogs are one of the worst things to happen to the world since the invention of the plague-filled sack being hurled over the castle walls. On average, they make the regular run-of-the-mill fucktard ten times more annoying since they seem to derive some sort of pride from having their words up on the Internet.

Blog Moron Week 10

Blog Moron Week 10: Roadsassy.com

by: Jurassic3000

2008-03-09

I see "The State Wants Your Children and Obama and Hillary Will Deliver Them", but to me it translates to "LIBRULS WANT TO BRAINWASH YOUR CHILDREN WITH TOLERANCE AND SHIT" and I don't have time for that ish. I find it funny that 'zee' feels that the public schools would spend time "... bringing their lesbian girlfriends to class for alternate lifestyle days". Where I lived, if someone even suspected you were a faggot, your social life became a living hell. In fact, my teachers spent more time trying to teach with outdated textbooks and an idiotic curriculum.

Blog Moron Week 9

Blog Moron Week 9: Game Politics

by: Generalissimo Furioso

2008-03-02

The clincher here lies in the idea that the website is run by the Entertainment Consumers Association. For those of you who don't know, the ECA is essentially that big Jewish entertainment conspiracy Charlie Sykes is always raving about. You know, the one that's got an incredible interest in making more money without the government getting involved? Gee, I can't possibly see why they would run a website dedicated to people who want the government to stay out of the thing that makes them money.

Blog Moron Week 8

Blog Moron Week 8: Ian Brill

by: Doom

2008-02-25

"What the Hell am I doing?" Man, you said it, Brill. I could not put it any better myself.

Blog Moron Week 7

Blog Moron Week 7: Expelled

by: Generalissimo Furioso and Nerdlinger

2008-02-17

Now, while this blog may claim that the film is not burying the theory of evolution, its trailer certainly makes it seem that way. Anything that even questions an argument is trying to bury said argument. It's rhetoric and that's the way it works in any debate you may come across. Trying to cover yourself with this half-ass claim only makes you sound like a jackass or a douchebag for not just coming out and saying "I'm trying to disprove Darwinian beliefs".

Blog Moron Week 6

Blog Moron Week 6: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

by: Nerdlinger and Iranian Uncle

2008-02-10

WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET, VENGEFUL ALLAH IS THIS?! This is not the Ahmadinejad that I have come to know and worship! This is some sort of imposter, trying to besmirch my leader's good name! Merry Christmas?! Merry Christmas to everyone?! Ahmadinejad is bestowing good will to those of a faith other than the one true faith of Islam?! What has become of this world?! Who could do such trickery to my great nation?! Why Iran?! Why Ahmadinejad?!

Blog Moron Week 5

Blog Moron Week 5: UFOCon

by: Nerdlinger

2008-02-03

So, let me just break this shit down for you all. The author is trying to make an argument against the validity of UFOs' existence by stating not that many gays see them. The same goes for blacks and Jews. So, barring them, the only people who do are white. Thus, the entire existence of UFOs is a conspiracy of the White Man. Then there's also the fact that Mexicans say they spot them too, but the author goes on about how they only do so to try and seem like they're important instead of just lazy fuckers.

Blog Moron Week 4

Blog Moron Week 4: Red Pills

by: Generalissimo Furioso and Nightcrawler

2008-01-27

GASP! A conservative disagreeing with Micheal Moore!? Say it isn't so! But it gets worse, he's quoting Glenn Beck on this shit. Yes, Glenn "Evil Mormon From The Dark Side of Utah" Beck. Using the most batshit explanation I've ever seen, Beck essentially gives mathematics the Mormon treatment (you know, wildly deviating from the norm in order to sate the desires of a chunk of people who want believe that Jesus was the first American and that the Native Americans needed to die because they were the Devil's people).

Blog Moron Week 3

Blog Moron Week 3: Stoned Gopher

by: Ronin

2008-01-20

Stoned....gopher. How the fuck could you get more moronic than that? Now I'm wondering if there is an underground group for pothead furries, and that idea is nothing but terrifying to me. Still, I can easily satirize the majority of his posts, but do it BETTER than he does.

Blog Moron Week 2

Blog Moron Week 2: Texas Hold 'Em Blogger

by: Generalissimo Furioso

2008-01-13

Another trait usually found with fuckwitted bloggers is the fact that he claims to enjoy reading, but then goes on to list completely pointless forms of literature like historical non-fiction, biographies (because Reagan really did kill Gorbachev by impaling him with the American flag!) and other blogs. Then the American Legion baseball. I don't know what the American Legion is, nor do I really care since it sounds like something that involves saying the Pledge of Allegiance every time you score a run instead of chugging a beer.

Blog Moron Week 1

Blog Moron Week 1: Hearing It Right

by: Doom

2008-01-06

Aaron Jeske is notable for, indeed, having a picture of himself on the blog that shows him smoking a cigar and holding what I'm hoping is an alcoholic drink. Those elements connote class, dignity, upper crust attitude. Accomplishment. Yet, of course, as with all College Republicans, the guy's never really done anything. I mean, I searched him on Google and his name's not linked to any synagogue fires, any black business robberies, any homeless person murders. All I found in relation to him: a comment on McBride's shitty blog, a membership in a fucking video game clan, and the aforementioned UWM Post activity. So far it seems he's a really, really shitty FreiKorps boy.

Blog Fuckhead Month 5

Blog Fuckhead Month 5: The Jacksonian

by: Nixon

2007-01-31

To begin discussing the Jacksonian let's start by trying to figure out why he has two blogs for his ramblings. Now, the easy answer would be to visualize one as a kind of overflow control, insofar as when Jacksonian writes over 10,000 words a day on how the UN is evil or what his secret plan for Middle East peace is some tube switches directions and all his crap is dumped into a second blog for containment to prevent it from draining into Blogs for Bush and causing an ecological nightmare.

Blog Fuckhead Month 4

Blog Fuckhead Month 4: Tom DeLay

by: Doom

2006-12-25

Tom DeLay drenches his face in Reagan cum daily, to preserve his boyish creep face.

Blog Fuckhead Month 3

Blog Fuckhead Month 3: Kirsten Powers

by: Doom

2006-11-13

True to the nature of any Democrat Party registered pundit, Kirsten Powers is not liberal. No, liberal Democrats are obviously faggy troop hating homo terrorist abortionist commies not fit for air on corporate media stations. She is in fact a skewed misrepresentation of Democratic Party values (yes, they have failures outside of 'failing'), aka a Conservative Democrat.

Blog Fuckhead Month 2

Blog Fuckhead Month 2: Blogs for Bush

by: Doom

2006-10-01

I mean, Islamofascistfasciocommufascism has yet to back any of its promises substantially. 72 Virgins? Unverifiable. Paradise? Never seen a shred of evidence for it. Jesus on the other hand, well, he's certainly done a lot to prove and ensure that after death we'll (we as in the Christian non-gay non-liberal non-Catholic non-terror loving crowd, of course) all be magically transported to a magic land where everyone good lives and existence is pure bliss. Unlike Islam, which is COMPLETELY lacking in evidence.

Blog Fuckhead Month 1

Blog Fuckhead Month 1: Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey

by: Doom

2006-09-02

Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey, who from now on I will be referring to as "Jacque" for sake of not having to write out the damn name every time I refer to her, sees herself as a very good woman. An exceptional woman, even. This streak of arrogance invades every single post, because primarily she believes people care about what she says and what her worthless life entails and because she considers herself to be a cut above the majority of the populace. Hm, aristocratic arrogance from a Libertarian? I'm shocked. Very shocked.