DailyRaider

[It's SCHILLINGER, Asshole]

12/23/09: what the hell

Dude, I have the funniest story to tell you.

I've been in jail for the last 19 days. Shit sucked. But I was able to
collect my thoughts, and I've developed some very interesting ideas
for the site. Also, I have conceptualized a sister site for the
Raider, one which is much less interactive and more informative in a
serious sense. It is perhaps a dangerous operation, but you ain't no
pussy, dude, so don't whine at me about "wiretaps" or "the NSA is
watching your every step via keyloggers". Who cares? They don't know
me, motherfucker!

I tried to hang myself when no one would pick up my collect calls. I
made a rather exquisite noose with the phone cord, and fed the cord
through the slot in the heating vent. Alas! My head would not fit in
the noose, and I could not untie my perfect knot. That's fucking
hilarious, you have to admit, right? I know I'm right.

Oh, and by the way, I have cancer of the balls. We need to start
making money so I can remove the toxic lump from my scrotum. It's
essentially a surgical operation I need. I doubt the cancer has
metastatized.

---Tom

(ps... load up on wine, I'm coming back)
_________________
Yeah, livestock...that's what you are. My livestock.

[Ed Gein]

...I though he died?! what the fuck fox CONTINUITY ERROR
_________________

[Jon Gorski]

Thom isn't dead.
_________________
Spiders are scary

[Nerdlinger]

I'm dying, Squirtle.

[It's SCHILLINGER, Asshole]

01/05/10: no subject

You know, saying that I have absolutely no morals because of what the
depravity of street living has made me into was the last straw.

I don't want your money anymore. If you want your money back from the
jail, you had better let me know pretty soon, because Moe and Evan are
actually going to give me a bit of a helping hand to at least get me
back to a familiar town. Yeah, I'm not going to have the money to
transfer the probation. Oh fucking well. The jail psychologist and my
public defender told me that I, most likely, would NOT be transfered
back to Oregon, because they wouldn't want to pay for it.

I know you are thoroughly disgusted with me. I know you have your
reasons. That being said, I have a lot that I am trying to accomplish,
and regardless of what you think of the poor (obviously you don't have
many poor friends), we're not all pieces of shit.

And also, you must think I'm pretty fucking stupid to talk as I do.
Yeah, I know that Dextromethorphan has damaged my brain. Apparently,
however, even complete raving psychotics can produce a semblance of
coherent English. Huh. I never studied semiotics or even finished
college. That obviously makes me an idiot.

I know you don't believe that there are any evil, sophisticated people
in this world. I know you don't believe that I was poisoned in Reno,
or that the Reno P.I. dropped Matt Stone's name ("You know, Matt Stone
doesn't like you..." I believe was the quote). Here's a hint - try
doing a wikipedia on Matt Stone - see if there's anything positive
there.

Yeah, I WAS a paranoid schizophrenic in Reno. I was also doing about
two bottles of Delsym per day (the big bottle), as well as when I
entered the mental clinic. And those meds? They made me even worse. I
took them solely for the fact that I might gain a semblance of respect
from my family. Apparently not.

I can't continue to worry what you think of me any longer. Although it
breaks my heart to know I won't ever get to go caving with you again,
or go to a good film, or anything we might enjoy together; well, as my
Mom said in a letter to the jail, "Don't go back to Milwaukee - your
Dad will always think of you as a criminal."

Well, she was right. You can throw out my mail. Sorry about the
creditor calls - I can't do shit about that anymore.

Oh, and as for the verbal abuse? Where did you think I learned it
from? You've always been relatively harsh in your treatment of what
you view to be indecent behavior - just like you smacked the shit out
of me and sent me flying across the basement when I accidentally
fucked up the computer monitor and you lost your resumes.

I'm mad as hell. Sure, I'll forgive you - but just like you, I'm NEVER
going to forget all the bullshit.

Think you're a saint? Well, maybe you should read the Bible yourself,
you damn hypocrite. Where did you think I learned how to be an asshole
in the first place? I barely even got out of the house as a kid - who
did I have to look up to?

Whatever.
---Tom
_________________
Yeah, livestock...that's what you are. My livestock.

[It's SCHILLINGER, Asshole]

02/20/10: no subject

Well, we certainly must have a drink when I get back. Apparently my dad hasn't even paid for the paperwork yet. A month, two perhaps?

I wish I had time to write an article today. Honestly, though, lately I've been suffering from Writer's Block. It seems that my brain is adjusting to sobriety in a debilitating way. I don't want to end up like Alex... but the ultra-violence has to stop! No more milk-plus-DXM. What's worse, I have no access to tryptamines. I've determined that abusing cough syrup has turned the clock back on my mental and spiritual development, especially the tenuous (though discernible) augmentations in consciousness I've experienced through LSD.

I assume that you aren't "frying" anymore. If you are, well, whatever. You're not, right?

Time's up way too soon on these computers today. Later,
---Tom
_________________
Yeah, livestock...that's what you are. My livestock.

[It's SCHILLINGER, Asshole]

01/04/10 - Save the Tom Foundation

First off, Evan, I'm sorry for the bitch fits. I have to blame myself,
DXM and alcohol addictions notwithstanding.

Secondly...

It is becoming increasingly apparent that I have no real means of
getting out of here any time soon unless I can raise the cash for the
Greyhound. Thus, I am attempting a last-ditch effort to unfuck this
fucked-up situation.

I hereby announce the Save the Tom! Foundation. Friends of Tom, lend
me your ears!

Whatever cash, whatever pawnable expendable items, can be afforded to
the needs to the most pathetic of gimps (you can keep me chained up in
a box, if it so pleases you), I beg of you - wrastle up dat grub! I
can't stay at the Gospel Mission anymore, due to a fairly hazy
incident involving alcohol, and my food stamps are gone (since,
without a place to sleep, I have literally required a 24-hour, high
energy diet to survive).

I don't want to suck some truckers' dick (for fear of catching the
AIDS), and I don't know how to hitchhike anyhow. I'm basically shaking
my dirty can at my friends here, except without all of my friends,
there is absolutely no fucking way I'm going to get $230. I've been
caught shoplifting TWICE, and the cops seem to know me by name.

Contact Moe, Matthew, Garrett, Eric, Darrell, fuck... I'm probably
forgetting someone but I doubt that anyone else would cough up the
dough for a fuck-up like me. But I've got a shitload of material, man,
and I'm waiting to communicate in the flesh about matters pertaining
to the future development of the site's popularity. You own a piece of
electronic real estate that is going to fly once we start the site
wars, as well as some unmentionable posts.

As for me, I guess I'm going to start collecting cans. As far as that
goes, I'm going to need well over 4000 to reach my goal. Fuck.

At least consider it. I know Anthony has my guitar effects processor,
which will easily sell, except I fear that he has already pawned it.
If he has, he better not see me on the street. I'm desperate, and
perhaps I am desperate enough to sell it. Perhaps I can find another
way. Keep me posted.

If this effort is indeed not doable, then at least keep the wine
stockpiled. I'm going to need to get fucked up to do the next series
of reviews, which will include some of the earlier, shittier films of
John Woo, as well as several band reviews (Butthole Surfers,
Sleepytime, MSI, NIN, et cetera).

Also...

We are going to need to do a comprehensive review of the Obama
administration. The O-man is seriously fucking up this country, I'd
even say a la Bush, except Obama's a MUCH more intelligent man, which
makes him potentially far more dangerous to the stability of this
country.

And then...

The commune. We are going to need to discuss the serious possibility
of Albequerque. It'll take a shitload of cash (probably in the
neighborhood of $20,000) just to get the plot of land, and then we
will need to do some guerilla advertising to attract the manpower for
the operation.

Whoa dude! I almost forgot. I walked into an Irish pub the other
night, trying to score some pussy (as always, complications arose). I
started talking up this woman, who was HOT, and she showed me her
ring. Undeterred, I ended up getting deeper into the conversation...
and then her fiancee stepped in, claming to be a cop. "Let's go,
buddy." Turns out he was joking. He wanted to know who fucked up my
face so bad. He eventually got me to admit it was a Medford cop. That
was all he "needed to know." Well, it turns out this woman and her man
were - get this - FEDS!

How the fuck did I attract federal attention? Must be all this touchy
communication I've been spinning for the last few years. But I haven't
been taken into custody.

Turns out, not all feds are that bad. Unless they weren't feds... but
they said they've "read my file", which leads me to believe that they,
indeed, were.

Shit. What have I stumbled upon?
---Tom
_________________
Yeah, livestock...that's what you are. My livestock.

[It's SCHILLINGER, Asshole]

8-18-09: hello

My favorite movies are 2001: A Space Odessey
Full Metal Jacket
Videodrome
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Fight Club
Ichi the Killer
Existenz
et cetera

my favorite bands are
Radiohead
Tool
Opeth
Primus
Mastodon
various others

I used to work at an Opera Theater, serving wine and food to patrons.
I have significant food service history, as I can illustrate:

Culver's Restaurant
3705 N 124th St, Brookfield, WI
(262) 781-6610
August 2004 - May 2005
Salary - from $5.25 to $6.35
Duties Assigned: Food running, cash register, dining room service,
shake preparation, cleaning various areas, etc.

Skylight Opera Theater Bar & Restaurant
158 N Broadway, Milwaukee, WI
(414) 291-7811
May 2005 - June 2007
Salary - From $6.50 - $7.00
Duties Assigned: Serving, line cooking, dishwashing

Kikka Sushi Counter located at Whole Foods
2305 N Prospect Ave
Milwaukee, WI 53211
(414) 223-1500
April 2007 - August 2007
Salary - From $7.00 to $8.00
Duties Assigned: Line cooking, produce cleaning, food prep for line,
station cleaning detail, dishwashing, etc.

Bayou Cajun Restaurant & Lounge‎
2060 N Humboldt Ave, Milwaukee, WI
(414) 431-1511
October 2007 - January 2008
Salary - $7.00
Duties Assigned: Dishwashing, food prep, some cleaning

Sake Tumi, Inc.
714 N Milwaukee St, Milwaukee, WI
(414) 224-7253‎
March 2008 - May 2008
Salary - $6.50
Duties Assigned: Dishwashing, detailed cleaning of four floors of
restaurant, kitchen help

Progressive Future
September 2008 - November 2008
Salary - $8
Duties Assigned: Managing crews of 4-6 for canvassing work,
door-to-door canvasing, data collection

Amazon.com
2600 Newlands Dr., Fernley, NV
(775) 575-8000‎
November 2008 - January 2009
Salary - $11.50/hr
Duties Assigned: Picking, Inventory Control, Quality Assurance

At-Your-Service Staffing
955 S.Virginia Ave.
(775) 786-9980‎
Salary - $7/hr
March 2009 - August 2009
Duties Assigned: Fine dining, concessions, food preparation

Let me know if I can help you out.

Shalom,
---Tom
_________________
Yeah, livestock...that's what you are. My livestock.

[Rum Ham]

While I continue to read, I am surprised that you have not taken many
of these things for granted. Obviously I am a very talented
individual. That is a statement of fact, not pride. I don't know if
this reply will return to you - perhaps it mustn't.

Bethea - what a strange moniker.

Weird means fate

You may have to contend for the position of drawing my album lyric-art
with another extremely talented artist who I just met. That is, if you
are who I think you might be. Abtruse? Obtuse? What do my words ever
mean? I'm just playing games. I only have 20 minutes remaining and I
need to contact Evan. Oh, and yes, DXM is certainly embedded within
this message.

On 12/22/09, Bethea <Bethea@myhealthwealthandhappiness.com> wrote:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> To view this message in html format, click here:
> http://www9.myhealthwealthandhappiness.com/r/?id=t49a26191,ca1d9ec,cb11986&p1=d219db63f304cb2662
> or copy this link inside a Web browser
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> Dear Thomas,
> Having déjà vu or intuitions that come true is a sign that you have "the
> gift" and will be able to use the secret techniques that will be revealed to
> you in my letter. I want you to see for yourself how you can develop this
> gift.
>
> I guarantee you'll be amazed when you see how easy it is to see into
> peoples' lives and to know what the future will hold! And this is only the
> beginning.
>
> Please click below to learn how to develop your own psychic powers!
>
>
> Your friend,
>
>
>
> Bethea
_________________
RUM HAM! I’M SORRY RUM HAM! I’M SORRY!

[It's SCHILLINGER, Asshole]

South Park - First Sketch: 3/31/10

"Say, Phillip."
"Yes, Terrence?"
"I was reading on the telegraph the other day... isn't it illegal to show pornography and sadistic violence to children in the colonies?"
"No, Terrence. That's why they call it South Park!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"[Farts erupt from both]

A little bit of context. Now, everyone knows that South Park, for all its abusive language, is secretly Neil Patrick Harris for Hollywood. Hello! All that Paris Hilton crap, the obsession with Rob Reiner's weight... I mean, c'mon! Family Guy Resorts to celebrity gags, but even they don't spend whole episodes mocking Mel Gibson or using Yoko Ono and Kenny G to foul up something as seemingly innocent as a recorder concert [insert brown sound]. But think about it for a minute... South of the Park, it's all Green... or something to that effect. There's a Neil Patrick Harris innuendo in there somehow, but c'mon! Anyone seen Basketball? Fags. And I think Matt Stone is the man in the relationship, but it's pretty fucked up being a hard bottom. Gotta give him props for proper grounding.

Long story short, Hollywood's the bull[-fruit], South Park is the whip. And I think that Matt Stone is the one all the gayer for Hollywood. My theory is this:

Matt Stone wears his war wound like a crown
He calls his child Kyle[aka kike]
`Cause he likes the name
And he sends him to the only school in town
Matt Stone likes his money
He makes a lot they say
Spends his days counting
In a garage by the motorway
He was born a professor to a pawn on a Christmas day
When the Jew York Times said God is dead
And the war's begun
Neil Patrick Harris satan had an abortion today

And he shall be Matt Stone
And he shall be a good man
And he shall be Matt Stone
In tradition with the family planned
And he shall be Matt Stone
And he shall be a good man
He shall be Matt Stone
Matt Stone sells a cartoon bullshit town
His family business thrives[do I HAVE to say it all racist-like again, or do you get the point?]
Butters blows up balloons all day
Sits on the porch swing watching them fly
And Butters, he wants to go to Venus
Leaving Matt Stone far behind
Take a balloon and go sailing
While Matt Stone slowly dies
He was born a demon to a brawn on a Christmas day
When the New York Times said God is dead
And the war's begun
Gerald Stone has a son today
_________________
Yeah, livestock...that's what you are. My livestock.

[Nerdlinger]

What the fuck did I just read?