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MARRIAGE GOOD, FIRE BAD!
BY FREAKFACE
SOLOMON GRUNDY, DEFORMED ON A MONDAY
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
URRRRRGH! ME FREAKFACE! YOU READER! LITTLE THINGS ON VIEWING THING 'WORDS'! ME FREAKFACE WRITE ABOUT MARRIAGE GOOD AND MILITARY GOOD! US GOVERNMENT TELL FREAKFACE HE MUST WRITE ABOUT THINGS OR ELSE THEY PUT FREAKFACE BACK IN HOLE THEY KEEP FREAKFACE IN! FREAKFACE NO LIKE LIVING IN HOLE IT COLD AND DARK AND NOT HAVE LOTS OF AIR IN IT! BUT IF MILITARY SAYS FREAKFACE DESERVE IT (LIKE SAID FREAKFACE DESERVE IED IN FACE BECAUSE HE NOT 'KILL ENUFF IRAQS') THEN FREAKFACE DESERVE IT! BUT FREAKFACE TRY NOT DESERVE IT. MARRIAGE ALSO THING GOOD THAT IS! FREAKFACE ALSO TALK ABOUT IT IN ARTICLE. ARTICLE SOMETHING WITH WORD AND THINGS. WORD 'ARTICLE' CONFUSE FREAKFACE!
FREAKFACE USED TO BE NORMAL MILITARY TROOP! FREAKFACE WAS...ONCE A MAN! BUT THEN FREAKFACE GO TO IRAQ FOR TOUR AGAIN! SOMETHING HAPPEN TO FREAKFACE! SOMETHING...BAD!! BUT THE SOMETHING ALSO GOOD BECAUSE HAPPEN IN IRAQ AND GOVERNMENT TOLD ME IRAQ WAR THING GOOD, IRAQIS BAD! IRAQ WAR GO GOOD! GOOD...GOOD! ANYWHERES, FREAKFACE IN JEEP WITH FRIEND JOHNNY AND FRIEND NIGGER (NIGGER THE BLACK MEMBER OF DIVISION). SUDDENLY JEEP EXPLODE! FREAKFACE GO SLEEP SLEEP WITH HALF FACE TORN OFF IN DESERT. FREAKFACE WAKE UP 2 DAY LATER ON PERATING TABLE AT BASE. MAN IN MASK POINTING TOOL AT FREAKFACE BODY! FREAKFACE SCARED. BUT IT ALRIGHT! MILITARY TELL FREAKFACE HE GOOD MAN DOCTOR MAN GOOD. DOCTOR...GOOD! DOCTOR MAN GIVE FREAKFACE BODY PARTS MADE OF ROBOTS SO FREAKFACE COULD HAVE 2 MORE TOUR DUTIES TOURS! TOUR OF DUTY EXTENSIONS...GOOD! BUT DOCTOR ALSO SAID FREAKFACE LOSE LOT OF BRAIN, NOSE, EAR AND FACE. BAD!!! MILITARY GIVE LONG TALK AND HALFWAY THROUGH FREAKFACE FORGET WHAT BRAIN IS. THEY GIVE FREAKFACE DAN BROWN BOOK TO CHEER UP. MISSION COMMPLISHED! SEMPER FI! SEMPER FI! SEMPER CORN CHIPS!
FREAKFACE STILL HAVE SPEND LOT OF TIME IN HOSPITAL THO. ALL IN ALL 54 OPERATIONS. FREAKFACE NOT SURE, AND MILITARY TELL HIM NOTHING GO WRONG, BUT FREAKFACE RE-MEMBER HEARING DOCTORS CALL HIM GUINNEE PIG. FREAKFACE NOT PIG! FREAKFACE MAN. THEY ALSO SAY FREAKFACE GOOD GUINEE PIG (FREAKFACE NOT PIG!!!!!!) TO UUSE FOR EXPERIMENT LIKE TO SEE IF ZOMBIE SOLDIER CAN BE MADE AND IF SOLDIER STILL WILLING TO HELP ARMY EVEN AFTER TURNING INTO MONSTER. FREAKFACE NOT REALLY UNDERSTAND ANY OFF IT AND FREAKFACE SLEEP DURING A LOT OF THE BIG TALK. BUT EVENTUALLY DOCTOR MEN CALL FREAKFACE MAN AND NOT PIG AGAIN AND MAKE FREAKFACE ALL BETTER. THEY SAY BIG JAGGED SCARS IS COOL LIKE TATTOOS AND THE MORE YOU COLLECT THE COOLER YOU ARE. ALSO SAY EARS AND NOSE IS ARE GAY AND FOR FAGRAQIS. DO FREAKFACE BIG FAVOR BY MAKING FREAKFACE LOOK NOT GAY. SEE, ARMY...GOOD!
WHAT FREAKFACE LOOK LIKE DURING SURGERY.
AFTER DOCTOR MAN MR. DOCTOR PATCH FREAKFACE UP, FREAKFACE GO THROUGH WHAT DOCTOR CALL RECOVERY! FREAKFACE NOT KNOW HOW TO WALK AFTER ACCIDENT. THEN AGAIN, FREAKFACE NOT SURE FREAKFACE KNOW HOW TO WALK BEFORE ACCIDENT! AT RECOVERY FREAKFACE MEET NICE NURSE. SHE NICE BECAUSE SHE NOT LAUGH AT FREAKFACE FOR FREAKFACE'S DISABILITY (MILITARY NOT CALL IT DISABILITY THOUGH THEY CALL IT PURPLE HEART! FREAKFACE TRY TO RIP OPEN CHEST TO SEE IF HEART PURPLE. HEART NOT PURPLE! FREAKFACE HAD PERATION AFTER THAT!). FREAKFACE IN LOVE! UNFORTUNATELY SHE NOT RETURN FEELINGS FOR FREAKFACE SO FREAKFACE HAVE TO KNOCK HER OUT, THROW HER INTO LAKE WHERE SHE SINK AND DIE. FREAKFACE LEARN HOW TO THROW DAMSEL INTO LAKE FROM ARMY TRAINING WHERE ARMY MAKE FREAKFACE ARMY STRONG! ARMY STRONG! ARMY STRONG! ARMEE STRONG! RME STONG! RM ST! RMST! ST! S! S!!!!
AFTER FREAKFACE RETURN BACK FROM WHEREVER FREAKFACE GO IN MILITARY (FREAKFACE CALL IT SANDBOXLAND), FREAKFACE REUNITE WITH GIRLFRIEND! GIRLFRIEND...GOOD! WE GET MARRIED TOO. MARRIAGE GOOD, UNLIKE FIRE. LOT OF WOMEN TURN OFF BY FREAKFACE'S FREAKFACE, BUT NOT GIRLFRIENDWIFE. SHE MAKE FREAKFACE WEAR MASK WHEN GOING OUT IN PUBLIC, BUT SHE LOVE FREAKFACE JUST WAY FREAKFACE IS! SHE ONLY SHUDDER THREE TIMES OR FOUR WHENEVER SHE LOOK AT FREAKFACE, UNLIKE OTHER WOMEN WHO USUALLY SCREAM IN TERROR AT ALL TIMES WHEN AROUND FREAKFACE. WOMEN SCREAMING IN TERROR MAKE FREAKFACE SAD AND USUALLY CAUSE FREAKFACE TO KIDNAP LADY AND TAKE HER TO OLD MILL. FREAKFACE DID SAME THING IN IRAQ ONLY THERE NO OLD MILLS THER SO FREAKFACE JUST RAPE THEM INSTEAD. RAPE OF FORIN WOMEN...GOOD! BUT FREAKFACE NO LONGER RAPE IT WOULD NOT BE NAHOGAMOUS TO RAPE IF MARRYED. IT ONE OF MANY SACRIFICE IN MARRIAGE.
MARRIAGE IS FOUNDATION OF GOOD LIFE, SUCH AS ONE FREAKFACE HAVE. WITHOUT MARRIAGE, FREAKFACE HIDEOUS MONSTER UNABLE TO SEE, HEAR, SMELL OR DO ANYTHING ELSE COOL. WITH MARRIAGE FREAKFACE HIDEOUS MONSTER UNABLE TO SEE, HEAR, SMELL WHO'S MARRIED. SEE DIFFERENCE (FREAKFACE CAN'T NOT BECUZ FREAKFACE EYE ONLY WORK SOME OF TIME). AND WHO NOT LOVE GOOD WEDDING? FREAKFACE GOOD WEDDING HAD. WIFEGIRLFRIEND THROW FLOWERS AND FRIEND OF GIRLFRIENDWIFE CATCH THEM. FREAKFACE CONGRATERULATE HER AND SHE SAY THANK YOU AND RUN AWAY. FREAKFACE THINK SHE GO RUN TO GET MARRIED! ALSO, WEDDING ONLY TIME FREAKFACE HAVE ALCOMOHOL NOW. IT PUMP INTO FREAKFACE VEINS, WHICH ARE LIKE LITTLE LINES IN WHAT LEFT OF FREAKFACE'S SKINS. BEER GOOOOOD! IF FREAKFACE HAD OTHER HAND TO POP OPEN BEAR CAN, FREAKFACE WOULD DRINK BEER ALL TIME WHEN STANDING ON CORNER BEGING FOR HELTH INSURANCE. ARMY NOT GIVE HEALTH SURANCE CAUSE THEY SAY FEAKFACE NEED TO EARN HEALTH INSURANCE. THAT WAY FREAKFACE GOING PAY SPITAL BILLS UNTILL YEAR 2094. 2094 MINES...2007 EQUAL 10 YEARS! AND FREAKFACE HAVE LOT OF BILLS! BUT MARRIAGE MAKE IT OK CAUSE WIFE SAY SHE HELP PAY FOR THEM WITH HER JOB AT WENDY'S! SEE, MARRIAGE GOOD.
ARMY LET FREAKFACE DRIVE BIG PEOPLE CAR. FREAKFACE LOVE ARMY.
FREAKFACE STILL ABLE TO DO ALL ACTIVITIES FREAKFACE LIKE DOING. LIKE WATCHING TV, SITTING DOWN, LOOKING AT THINGS, PLAYING PIN TAIL ON DONKEY, NOT GETTING BENEFIT CHECK FROM MILLITTARY, WATCHING JUDGE WAPNER, DROOLING AND DRIVING CAR. LOOK AT PICTURE ON TOP! FREAKFACE DRIVE CAR! IT REAL CAR, TOO. THIS WHY YOU NOT SHOULD MAKE FUN OF FREAKFACE CAUSE HE DIFFERENT. FREAKFACE NOT ABLE TO CRY NO MORE PHYSISICALLY, BUT FREAKFACE STILL HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS! IT NOT LIKE FREAKFACE IRAQFACE OR SOMETHING. FREAKFACE HERO OF AMERICAN MARINE ARMY! HERE ECAMPLE. ONE TIME, FREAKFACE DRIVING CAR AND CHILD POINT TO FREAKFACE AND LAUGH. FREAKFACE REPLY BY RUNNING DOWN CHILD AND BREAKING LEGS OF CHILD. NOW CHILD HAVE NO LEGS LIKE A LOT OF CHILDREN FREAKFACE 'LIBERATE' FROM ARABLAND! YAY! FREAKFACE HEEERO!
BAAAAAAAAAAAD
A LOT OF YOU WONDER MAYBE WHY FREAKFACE HATE FIRE SO MUCH. FIRE BAD BECAUSE...FIRE BAD! THAT NOT GOOD REASON ENOUGH FOR YOU? FIRE BAD BECAUSE FIRE BAD JUST LIKE ISLAMOFASCIST IRAQIS BAD BECAUASE ISLAMOFASCIST IRAQIS BAD. DOCTOR TELL FREAKFACE NOT TO THINK HARD AND FREAKFACE NOT GOING AGAINST ORDERS OF MAN WHO GIVE BIG LOLLYPOP TO FREAKFACE AFTER HE GAVE FREAKFACE A ROBOTOMY OR WHATEVER. WHENEVER FIRE APPEAR NEER FREAKFACE, IT NEVER GOOD SITUATION. LIKE SOMETIME TOWN PEOPLE GO TO FREAKFACE HOUSE WITH FIRE AND TRY TO MAKE FREAKFACE GRAFT SKIN MELT. PEOPLE THINK FREAKFACE "CORRUPTION OF GOD'S WILL". HAY, GOD MAKE FREAKFACE IN GOD OWN IMAGE AND GOD NO MAKE NO JUNK!!! OTHER TIMES FIRE APPEAR IS IN BAD TIMES LIKE FREAKFACELASHBACKS TO IED SPLOSION OR WHEN FREAKFACE OWNED BY UNIVERSAL STUDIOS! FIRE IS ANTI-MARRIAGE. IT BIGGER VILLAIN THAN IRAQ AND TERRORISTS AND 9/11 RUBBLE COMBINE!
WHAT FREAKFACE HATES MOST OF ALL, MORE THAN FIRE AND IWAQ, MORE THAN PEOPLE CALLING FREAKFACE "UNCLE FESTER", WHEN PEOPLE WHO DO NOT KNOW FREAKFACE WAR HERO, REACT TO HIM IN FEAR! FREAKFACE IS NOT TO BE FEARED. FREAKFACE LOVE YOU! EXCEPT WHEN PEOPLE HOLD FIRE IN FRONT OF FREAKFACE OR WHEN PEOPLE IRAQIS. FIRE BAD! THEY MAKE FREAKFACE TREATRE TO OLD MILL. STUPID OLD MILL! FREAKFACE HATE OLD MILL! IT HAVE...MILLS...AND THINGS! WAR HERO NEED SPECT, NOT OLD MILL. FREEKFACE GET BLOWN UP TRYING TO DO...SOMETHING (FREAKFACE FORGET WHAT) AND YOU REPAY FREAKFACE BY MAKING FUN AND RECOLING IN HORROR AT SITE OF FREAKFACE!! YOU TAKING FREAKFACE SACRIFICE IN VAIN! VAIN BAD...THINK! NOW FREAKFACE REMEMBER! FREAKFACE BLOWN UP TO PROTECT FREEDOM! IF FREAKFACE NOT BLOW UP AND BECOME FREAKFACE, YOU ALL RULED BY IRAQIS NOW! YOU HAV TO RESPECT FREAKFAC!
FREAKFACE GET MANY MEDALS FROM PURPLE HEART ARMY AND SPECIAL LYMPICS. FREAKFACE HERO FOR BEING MAIMED! FREAKFACE NOT LIKE PIN THOUGH IT HURT FREAKFACE! GRAHHH!
FREAKFACE DONE RITING NOW. FREAKFACE BORED BECAUSE MICERSOFT WORD KEEP ON PUTTING LITTLE LINES UNDER THINGS FREAKFACE PUT IN ARTICLE. STUPID LINES! HATE LINES ALMOST AS MUCH AS FIRE! WHAT NEXT FOR FREAKFACE OTHER THAN 45 MINUTE TRYING TO USE BATHROOM? FREAKFACE GOING REINLIST FOR IRAQ! MILITARY SEZ COUNTRY NEED FRAEKFACE TO SCARE IRAQI INTO SURRRENDERING TO AMERICA MILITARY. IT FREAKFACE DUTY TO GIVE EVERYTHING FOR COUNTRY EVEN FREAKFACE OTHER EYE AND ARM AND LEGS AND HART. FREAKFACE NOT NEED REAL HEART ANYWAY FREAKFACE HAVE PURPLE HEART! IT BETTER AND COOLER! FREAKFACE MITE WRITE BLOG WHILE IN IRAQ IF FREAKFACE STILL HAVE HAND TO TYPE WITH. GOODBYEEEE! AND REMEMBER NOT TO USE FIRE EVER CAUSE IT BAD AND TERORIST LOVING.