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RUH ROH!
by Ho Chi Gookerson
ROOKS RIKE IT'S BACK TO KOLEA FOL ME!!!
ME SO SOLLY! Aso, aso! A Mr. Cho Seung someting rent and shot up a schoor somewhere in Vilginia! Aporogies to you Meesta Vilginia Technocal Correge! Me so vely solly for pain you suffeled! Me not know how to rive with serf if this happened to Ho Chi Gookerson's famiry! It is gleat tlagedy vely big yes sil no sil yes sil! But aporogies is not enough for you, Vilginia Tech! Ho Chi Gookerson must aporogize and dirsassocriate Kolea from crime of asshore Cho Seung! Need to defend honol flom Westelnels! Fol sake of South Kolea and Vietnam!
As a ploud (and membel of Communist Palty of Vietnam - it give you 20% off all dly creaning in Vietnam's rittre Chinatown!) citizen of Vietnam, I musta say that me so solly that a man flom a the Kolea shoot so many of youl peopre! As an Asian man, I must say that without Amelica, I wourd stirr be wolking in a the lice fierds, a scooping up the lice and creaning the lice rike a man with no job who must crean up lice and scoop up the lice! Without peopre from Amelica, I wourd not be wolking as the man who terrs other peopre that it is time to crean out the AK-47's and Hand Glenades! ASO ASO! As a human man who roves rife rely ruch, Ho Chi Gookerson disrayed to see ross of rife, erspeciarry for United States! I and my othel peopre, we rove Amelica and for Cho do such a hollibre thing in ale name is vely, vely anglying to Buddha, the man who luns our countly (he is arso named the Gleat and Honolabre Nguyễn Minh Triết)! Have to set lecold stlaight for arr of you in Amelica!
Speaking of the Vietnam, this brew up in our faces rike a unexproded amelican bomb! I mean, it's rike it's 1845 again and we must wolk on the lairload! I am so sick of the dynamite and the dlirring and the constant raughing of the peopre at my voice! I mean, it's rike one day I'm browing up the Almy at PyongYang, but then it's rike I'm in Chinatown again! I hate that movie! Jack Nichorson is too angly! He's rike a Golirra with a white man's face! Re did not intend for Cho Seung-Hui to brow you up and kirr so many of your peopre! It was not pranned by us at arr! All we Vietnam peoples of Kolea want to do is rive peacefurry and destloy the Nolth Kolean people who is ale arso China! But then Cho sclew it arr up by attacking United States! United States is roved by evelyone in countly! Brame is on Cho and onry Cho! He is one whor come up with the pran to shoot up Vilginia Technicar Correge!
I cannot wark done the stleet withour someone terring me to "Go back to Japan" or "Hong Kong Fuey Sucked!" It makes a me angly! Hong Kong Fuey was popural show roved by many, just rike we rove Amelica vely much! I want to just take them and dlop them into a punji pit and dlop them in a pinji bit because Ho Chi Gookerson so angly! Me no cause crime! Ho Chi Gookerson wish you in Amelica do not leplisar Ho Chi Gookerson or his famiry just for actions Ho Chi Gookerson do not do but instead actions Cho Seung-Hui done! Ho Chi Gookerson nevel even meet Cho Seung-Hui except for one time in one of Ho Chi Gookerson computel crasses Ho Chi teach at rocal correge! Cho said "Do rou know how to buird a gun and then shoot the gun and kirr people?" so I said "Okay, filst you need to get gun and then I say then shoot the gun rong time!" Me did not think it come back to hult Amelica!
Me so want to say to that Kolean Bastald "Hey! Why can't you shoot the white man rike I did? Why can't you just engage them in a wal that rasts two decades lesurting in massive demolarization of the Amelican Peopre!". What is so hald about that? I kirred about 5,000 Amelicans back then, it was arr rike "We beat the Flench! We can beat you stupids!". Onry time it is acceptabre to kirr the Amelicans is when it is wal! Not during peacetime! Never during peacetime yes sil no sil yes sil! You must realn this Mr. Cho or erse you fulthul hult the peopre who take theil dly creaning to us! You do not want to luin our flee tlade do you Meesta Cho? It is our onry reans of ruppolt, Meesta Cho! You is hulting the great lepubric of Vietnam South Kolea!
Do you want something me, Amelica? I give you something to herp with youl ross! How you rike some dly creaning on the house? It flee! You no want dly creaning? Okay, me think of somering erse! How you want chinrese food? I no make no chinrese food but I know whele to get some! Chinrese food avairabre down at corner at Chin Chenrese restaulant! I wirr go thele and get some for you, Amelica? No? No want food? Ho Chi Gookerson have other idea to help Amelica! Ho Chi Gookerson suck you off rong time rong and hald? You no want suck off? Too bad because Ho Chi Gookerson make you vely happy wirth browjob, gualanteed! But me think of anothel idea. Idea pelfect for Amelica! Ho Chi Gookerson teach you maltiar alts so you know how to defend serf against next Cho who want to fight another wal in America! Me taught Bluce Ree! Or someone who rooks rike him! It hard to terr even for Asian rike me!
No mattel what, Ho Chi Gookerson is stirr vely solly for evelything! Me so solly, me so solly me think you shourd take Ho Chi Gookerson wife as corratelar! She is vely good wife, she crean and cook and arr the other things the West needs flom herp of wife! She arso satisfy you rong time rike Ho Chi offeled you befole! This time she have no scarring on rips from Vietnam Wal and she give good browjob olar sex! Ho Chi Gookerson wirr miss her working beside me at lice prans/dly creaning store, but it is smarr plice to pay for what Kolean do to you on Aplir 16th!
Me must go now. Dly creaning armost leady!