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Black Friday

by Josiah X

I see how it is.

Yeah, I do. First you fucking crackers cut us out of Thanksgiving by noting it's a holiday where only fuckin' redskins are killed, and now you're giving us all this Black Friday shit. Well, for all y'all uneducated crackers out there (aka ALL CRACKERS EVER BECAUSE THEY'RE TAUGHT IN JEW PRIVATE SCHOOL), let me clue you into a little history lesson THE MAN doesn't want you to hear. Black Friday is not an occurrence that exists the way you think it exists. It wasn't always about fat white people shopping at cracker shops to buy cracker presents for their cracker friends. Like everything in the UKKKSA, it started out having to do something with whitey's subjugation of THE BLACK MAN.

See, you ever wonder why Black Friday is called 'Black Friday'? It's not just cause white culture is racist and wants to make anything full of dread 'black'. It's not just cause a lot of people in a small area reminds them of how my people were treated on those fuckin' slave ships. It's cause 'Black Friday' started out as a black event. Back in the days of slavery, Black Friday was the day after Thanksgiving where all the slaveowners would go into town to show off their best slaves, in the hopes of selling them to someone else. Black Friday gave Whitey a day to buy and sell black people just as the holiday season of Christmas began. You needed a good strong slave to get a Christmas tree, of course, as well as a couple good slaves to serve as donkeys and shit for those manger nativity scenes. Everything relates to slavery, you fuckin' spawn of Jefferson Davis.

The whole concept of the holiday was predicated on slave labor. How else could you fatass crackers get all those lights and reindeer and cornucopia and shit get done? Do it yourselves? Fuck no. You needed proud, strong Africans to do it for you. Hell, we invented Christmas back in the 1970s. It was called Harlemmas back then (the rival holiday, Comptonkkah, showed up two years later. The rivalry between the holidays claimed 35 young men and women over 7 years.). Course, then THE WHITE MAN saw how successful and innovative it was and took his blasted time machine back in time and then watered it down to Christmas. Ever wonder why Christmas has no soul or dancing to it, but a lot of shit about 'white snow'? Exactly. Co-opted and whiteized by Whitey. But I mutherfuckin' digress. As I was saying, black slavery did all the shit work for all holiday preparation. We hung the lights, we made the tree, we carved the turkey, we did all that shit. The turkey is of special note for a reason I'm about to explain for your slow ass cracker minds.

The turkey used to be the original symbol of black power. That's why black nationalist Ben Franklin (he got turned into some lily white motherfucker by the racist history books) suggested it be the US' national bird. But then fuckin' Washington said it should be the eagle. The bald, WHITE eagle. Anyone see a connection here? The black power turkey defeated by some old white cracker bird. That is just a symbol of the oppression the black nation has faced all throughout history. B-Frank also suggested Black Friday to be a day of remembrance for all the black innovators, inventors and founding fathers. Washington and his milquetoast ass fuckers said instead it should be some shit about dressin' your slaves like fuckin' Barbie dolls (ANOTHER RIPOFF, BY THE WAY, OF THE ORIGINAL NAPPITY ANN DOLLS). This is another pattern throughout history. Black man suggests something, white man shoots it down. Another example: Frederick Douglas suggests abolishment of slavery, Lincoln suggests he have a banana on the house. MotherFUCKER.

In the 19th century people like me were sold for holiday purposes while people like you were selling people like me for holiday purposes. Of course you don't fuckin' see how wrong that is because you're all a bunch of racist motherfuckers. You just wanna go on your merry way, buyin' your shit, goin' to your malls, eatin' your fucking turkey stuffing. I'll tell you another reason Black Friday is racist, now that I'm thinking about it. Turkey stuffing. You fuckers just think you made it at some point and then it became a post-Whitesgiving staple. Not so. Us black slaves had to struggle for decades to get that fucking stuffing JUST right. My great-great-great grandfather got his black head put on a pike just cause some fuckin' slaveowner didn't like how the stuffing tasted. Bullshit. Nothing more than cracker bullshit. Yet you still accept it today. The subjugation, the enslavement of THE BLACK MAN for your precious turkey leftover stuffing soup bullshit or whatever the fuck it is you fuckers do with the rest of a turkey. Gorging yourselves on shit is showin' contempt for all the starving masses in Africa. Then you just throw a lotta shit out cause you're too lazy to give it to someone who needs it. Fuck you. Next time we fuckin' create jazz music, we'll tell you fuckin' heroin-addicted poseurs to fuck off.

All your Black Friday activities are steeped in racism, not just the ones which have racist history. Football? Football was originally created in 1831 by that CRACKER Eli Whitney. He thought "now that I made the cotton gin, I don't need my darkies no more". So he cut off one of the slaves' heads, then tossed it around with his friends. Thus, football was born. Now you fuckers watch it in your white man chairs, eat your white man artery clogging food, and root for the black man to tackle another black man for your amusement. Or you wish for the black man to do a funny dance after running really far. As though in your mind running a lot for a black man is an accomplishment. Bitch, that's racist. What, you think we gotta go to a liquor store before we go 100 yards to some fuckin' end zone? Why don't I clap a lot whenever you get yourself a dick over 3 inches, motherfucker? How'd you like it then?

Shopping in and of itself is racist too. Us black people don't have the kind of money for your flatscreen bullshit because we're tryin' not to get the AIDS you injected us with in your fuckin' CIA jew laboratories in the 70s. But yet you put all your consumer consumption bullshit on your white news stations, cause you gotta show off your richness to black man. Knowing black man doesn't have cable or satellite or any of that shit. What, you think we're satisfied with that fuckin' token Donkey Kong Tavis Smiley on PBS from time to time? Fuckers, we desire actual black people who ain't crackheads or dead bodies on the news. However, it isn't going to happen because you're too busy with your Black Friday coverage of "Oh shit, white people gotta shop! Let's show them shop for things the minorities can't possibly afford because they ain't capitalist motherfucker bitches!" It's one step away from Jesse Helms going on ABC and showing off the brand new negro he got at the Sears bargain bin. I know ESPN already does that sorta shit once a year with their NBA Draft. "Oh look, David Stern got himself another negro to put in the NBA plantation! Lucky him!" But I again digress.

Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Christmas, they're all part of the White Man's conspiracy to keep the black man from achieving his true role in society as ruler over you motherfuckers. The black man is naturally smarter, stronger and better than Whitey at everything. Yet we're still oppressed because the white man uses his laws and jew mysticism to keep us down. But eventually that third guy from Public Enemy will be right and Israel won't control the world no more. And then we'll get our holidays back. You'll be the ones making the stuffing and manning the registers for OUR shops WE shop in. You'll be playin' sports for OUR amusement (hockey is too boring and racist and baseball got too many spics in it now for it to be funny). The tables will turn and you'll know how it feels. Get ready for a fuckin' White Friday where we force you to put coal (ever notice how Santa put the BLACK thing as the shit to give to 'naughty' kids? David Duke gets treats but Malcolm X got coal. RACIST) on the Harlemmas tree. I'll be motherfuckin' laughing then.