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The Poor Deserve It!

by the Libertarian

Disgusting.

On my favorite website, Slashdot, someone posted an article that caught my eye. The article said 2% of the Earth's population controls 50% of the planet's wealth. I thought to myself, "Sounds right." What I really looked forward to, however, were the comments on the article. Slashdot has the funniest communist/liberal/statist losers EVER. I love debating with them. They ALWAYS fail to remember the elastic nature of the market and how it can potentially (and will) solve any problem, no matter the size or severity. They severely underestimate the strength of the invisible hand. You can't keep the eagle of the liberty free market down! One of their oft-used talking points is the poor do not deserve their poverty. Poppycock! They don't 'deserve' anything at all. What do the poor provide for me? Nothing. So what good are they? Exactly. They're not any good at all. If anything, the only thing the poor deserve is poverty.

They do deserve it, because the majority of poor people are poor because they don't understand how money works, and just fritter what they have away. They don't think to save because they don't think because poor people are incapable of higher thought and reason. It's a proven fact. They are not like us, who are able to comprehend higher thought like reading Ayn Rand books or getting a Fortune 500 job. You'd think if poor people didn't want to be poor they would just do the smart thing and get a high-paying job. Yet they don't, so we can thus determine they have no brains or at least no functioning brains. I can't tell you how many times I've seen hobos use the change they've collected to buy some food or a bottle of water instead of doing the wise thing and investing it in the stock market. If the poor didn't want to be poor, they'd do something about it. Sure, investing might not work at first, but eventually they're bound to earn some money in stocks. I mean, come on! I invest in stocks and I have my own money in addition to the money my mom and dad give me every week. It's obvious that you need to invest your 38 cents in change if you want to become a millionaire someday. What fucking idiots. They don't know ANYTHING about the free market.

A lot of the time they just waste the money on useless crap like bum liquor and cigarettes. Although I frequently use tobacco and alcohol - because I can - I buy something a little classier than the $3 a pack Marlboros or the bottle of crappy $3 Thunderbird. Homeless and indigent, why don't you fucking buy something high class for once? Why must you always buy the lowest of the low products, which do not stimulate innovation and diversity in the market? See, this is why they get such a bad rap from everyone. They don't even try to act classy, they just act like bums all the time, buying the cheapest of the cheap products. Do you ever really want to fraternize someone who can't afford Ikea furniture or high end stereo equipment? I know I don't; hence why I don't have any poor friends. The great Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey said it best: "the poor are disgusting, inhuman freaks whom I do not want to waste my valuable (86% more valuable than the average human) compassion or companionship on." Well said, Jacqueline. Most poor people don't even have 4 names like her. They have, like, 2 or 3. Philistines.

He can't even spell kidnapped right, he deserves nothing.

The rich are genetically better human beings. No question. I'm not going to go into details because the media quashing all reports showing that the rich are genetic superiors to the disgusting poor, but let me just say the media prefers to pretend that the lower classes are genetically equal with the rich, the inventive and the Randian/Heinleinian supermen of both physical and mental nature. This is what's going to lead to our downfall, pretending everyone's equal. We're not. We as in me and other libertarians are better than the poor. Therefore, we should not give handouts to the poor because it will waste our money in an effort to make everything 'equal'. I don't wanna give MY money to some hobo! You better believe a hobo wouldn't want to give me money even though I deserve more money than them. So why should I give my money when he wouldn't give me money? It's rank hypocrisy from the communists, which is business as usual for the Stalinists running this country.

What you also have to realize that being poor is a choice. It's not something based on a myriad of factors including environmental. No, people simply choose to be poor. At the beginning of the day, they could either get a job or they could continue cashing welfare and unemployment checks. Guess what option poor people go for? The latter. Therefore, they choose to be poor instead of working hard and pulling up their own bootstraps. If the government does everything for them they'll never learn how it is possible for them to become real humans. That's why I call statist supporters supporters of a nanny state. The homeless and the poor won't ever die to improve the average net worth of an American if the government keeps on ensuring they don't die of poverty with their welfare bullshit. Well, I'm tired of that. It's time for Social Darwinism to truly be put into practice!!

I mean, okay, so what if the free market indirectly led to a lot of poor people dying. And? Who cares. They're not my responsibility. The poor are the most selfish people there are, if you're assuming I'm selfish for not caring about them. Do the poor ever think it's their responsibility to pay for a federal bailout of my company? No. All they care about is two things: themselves and their bottle of Jim Bean they probably scammed from someone else. I don't see why I should care about the poor if the poor don't care about me and want to tax me more so they can buy RVs and crack. To me, they're being more selfish than me because at least I actually deserve nice things whereas they totally do not. Why? Because they're poor, stupid. I also think the stupid should be gassed and killed. No, I'm not a Nazi.

Look, if you coddle the poor and help them out all the time what you're really doing is punishing useful, good Americans who earn their own money and work hard and invest in the stock market. It's just like in the Ayn Rand books where the fascists are keeping the young brilliant innovators down so it'd be fairer to the stupid people who can't do anything. The free market doesn't work if everyone receives handouts and help because you're giving them no choice but to be not destitute and poor. That's slavery in a way. So really I'm actually being more kind and considerate to those horrible throngs of poor by offering them a choice between dying in the snow and getting a real job. The big state liberals want the poor instead to become slaves to welfare and tax dollar opulence. I bet they don't even want that because they're too dumb to know what opulence means. I do. My parents sent ME to an Ivy League School!

In conclusion, we'd all be better off if we don't have the poor hanging around, bringing us down and Jewing us out of money. Yeah, we could just cut all social spending so the government won't give them any money or breaks anymore, but I don't know, it doesn't go far enough for my liking. I'd rather they didn't exist anymore. They'd make my life a whole hell of a lot easier even if it does kinda go against my ideology of liberty. If standing up for my principles means letting a black guy ask me for change every morning, fuck principles.