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YouTube Fuckhead of the Week
by Doom, Generalissimo Furioso and Jedi Guardian
Week 13: Shite parody shite
A recent phenomenon, or fad, plaguing YouTube is recutting a movie and making a trailer contrary to its genre classification. Like, The Lion King becomes a horror movie. Now, some of these trailers are in fact funny and well edited, such as the horror version of Seinfeld and the David Lynch version of A Goofy Movie. Those are the outliers, however. As we know, anything even remotely original or funny gets destroyed with a cacophony of imitators who don't understand what made the originals work. Such is the danger of the Internet: anybody is able to do anything they want and publish it for the world to see. This may be seen as a good thing to some, but it's not if you correctly identify the human race's lack of talent. Without quality control in place, you encourage people to produce content such as the following videos we will show to you as part of YouTube Fuckhead of the Week. I'd say enjoy, but I know you won't.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nddDeTK79w (Asshole doesn't allow embedding)
Suffering Succotash! Fan made trailer! Somebody shoot me! This particular fan made trailer is of the film Who Framed Roger Rabbit?. Now, as a fan of the film, I'm deeply insulted by this trailer, not because it basically covered most of the whole fucking movie (what's the point of the trailer if the trailer basically shows the film in about two minutes?), but because it confused me. It's like watching those old Looney Tunes cartoons, the ones that are based in some 'famous' movie studio, where the rascal protagonist of the skit tries to screw with a director's motion picture by butchering it to make a compilation of randomness? This is what reminds me of. Some of the dialogue don't fit the scenes. The guy could have put a scene of the Hindenburg's collapse or a clip of an interview of Tommy Douglas, and it would have made more sense (in that how random it is). Besides, isn't Disney going to sue him for this, or even better Gary K. Wolf? Last time I checked he has to ask permission to Eisner about making a fan made trailer and posting it on YouTube. Luckily for us, this will get removed for copyright infringement soon enough. P-p-p-p-please, remove this shit!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vM28OYzSvLo (Still no fucking embedding)
You know what I fucking hate? Pirates. Pirates are gay, no use trying to argue with me, because it's a known scientific fact that any male that spends prolonged periods on a boat, solely with other men, is gay. Nothing wrong with being gay, but combine it with the trappings of pirates (peg legs, pirates, first mates), it becomes gayer than Arbor Day at Allen Ginsburg's house. Why this video's creator thought it'd be a good idea to cross Reservoir Dogs with fucking pirates is beyond all fucking understanding of the universe from any sane scale. One's a movie about a heist gone awry and Steve Buscemi, the other is a concept that leads to movies that have fucking ORLANDO BLOOM AND JOHNNY DEPP fucking each other up the ass while various retarded females find it entertaining. (If you like a movie with pirates in it, your're either gay or a woman. This does not apply to things with space pirates or Somali pirates in them however.) To be succinct, this isn't funny, it will never be funny and I wish to God that Michael Madsen stumbles into your house in a drunken haze and cuts your ear off with a razor blade.
The Lion King bullshit you see above is a perfect example of what I was talking about in the introduction (seeing as how I also used this very trailer in the introduction as an example of the concept). It's been done before, so it's not original. That in and of itself is not a crime because originality is fleeting in art, especially as this stage of civilization has more art or pseudo-art than ever in addition to all the works created in the past thousands of years. The crime is nothing interesting is done with the idea, the video instead relying on cheap tactics others have already fucking used ad nauseam. There's no thought put into this edit as it simply uses methods anyone could understand from watching three or four shitty horror trailers in a row. Pointing out the elements of bad horror trailers is almost as cliché as bad horror trailers themselves. The Lion King isn't a good choice for a horror recut as it is, since it's neither appropriate nor so incredibly inappropriate it becomes funny for the revamp.
Oi, what a piece of shit. Seriously, who the hell thought it was a good idea to try and make it seem like a bad comedy would make a funny trailer for a thriller. They didn't even do it right; again, just like the original. For fuck's sake, they should have went with the angle of corrupt cops harassing that spindly white kid from that movie. There's nothing scary at all about high school, unless they decided to splice in that shot where that kid got period blood on his pants. Then again, that scene from The Boys was a million times funnier for the sheer sake that face + period-blood = funny whereas pants + period blood = sad. In summary, this fucker needs to get shot, preferably with a rusty bullet that'll give him hepatitis.
Crap. That's what this is, pure and utter crap. This isn't funny and I OWN THAT GODDAMN MOVIE AND GET WHY IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. The Seinfeld thing worked because comedy is just tragedy without incest. Battle Royale can't be funny because you take one goddamn scene from the director's cut and make it seem like it's a movie about basketball, when in reality it's a movie about kids being forced to murder each other violently. PURE FUCKING HUMOR RIGHT THERE PEOPLE. Comedy isn't a fucking mathematical property, X + Y /= Y + X in this situation, fuck that shit.
Nothing tires me more than Brokeback Mountain inspired recut versions of non-gay romance films. Get it, the film had guys kissing and fucking! Hahaha, hilarious. Who would ever think homosexuality existed among cowboys? This "clever" video establishes a gay romance angle between Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro in the Meet the Parents movies. Guy didn't even bother to do some voiceover to make it seem professional, instead opting for title cards. And he reuses a scene twice. If nothing else, the thing is incompetently made. It not being funny adds to the annoyance I suffered when trying to watch the tripe. Some of the clip choices ring true, but it's still not funny because it comes from a shitty premise. I mean, Brokeback Meet The Parents? Really? This asshole's comedic wit illustrates why he ought to take his talents to someone amenable to his brand of low hanging fruit (BECAUSE GAYS ARE FRUITS LOL), like Jay Leno, Seth MacFarlane, or inoperable brain cancer.
In summation, this shit isn't funny and not even clever. Just because it's humor on the Internet doesn't mean standards need to decrease dramatically. Furthermore, when something's hilarious, and contains a shred of originality and/or innovation, expect for it to be ripped off multiple times. For if the Internet populace loves one thing, it's a meme reliant on mimicry of something better or just simply repeating the original funny concept until it becomes so awful you want to kill yourself and others for having witnessed it. This goes for everything and not only the re-cut movie/television trailer. Now, you may wonder how the Internet differentiates itself from the rest of life, as Hollywood certainly isn't reluctant to rip off something that works (or what the idiotic public says works). The Internet lacks any sort of filter, so the chaff overwhelms the wheat. Until a sort of net eugenics program is instituted, expect such shit to float up to the top far too often for comfort. Goddamn, I need a drink.