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Telling the difference between Neo-Conservatives and Neo-Nazis

by Doom

A helpful guide

Don't you just hate it when you mix up Neo-Cons and Neo-Nazis? I know I do, and it's especially embarrassing when I do it in person. I'm talking to some guy, then I ask him, "So, what do you think of the Jewish threat?", just assuming he's a Neo-Nazi by his opinions and manner of dress. "No, I'm a Neo-Con," he angrily replies. Same with Neo-Nazis. They get pissed off if you ask them about their justification for Mission Accomplished way before Iraq became anything but a quagmire. "I'm a Neo-Nazi, not an idiot!" the Nazi often says. Well, I thought the best way to combat this problem of confusion for not only myself but for others like me is through education. I'm going to show you the subtle ideological, behavioral and clothical differences between the two, so embarrassing misunderstandings like mine won't happen anymore.

IDEOLOGY - WHO BLAMES WHO

Neo-Nazis: Neo-Nazis see America as ruled by a group of evil cabals, most notably the Jewish cabal, the gay cabal operating out of Hollywood, and the brute force of the unintelligent black and Hispanic forces, especially in light of all our border chicanery. Every possible problem from government comes from the Jewish run secret government, the government funding Israel and controlling the banks. Diversity scares them and sexual promiscuity in the media? Blacks, Jews, gays and Hispanics, all working in tandem in order to destroy the true America. Arabs too are hated but Neo-Nazis have a problem insofar as a lot of Arabs hate Jews and so do the Neo-Nazis. I believe their current policy is "Let the Arabs wipe out the Jews, then we wipe out the Arabs", but I'm not sure, my last journey to Stormfront occurred over six months ago.

Neo-Conservatives: At first, it looks as though Neo-Conservatives hate largely the same people as Neo-Nazis, but looks can be deceiving. Neo-Cons really, really hate Arabs to the point of making up evidence to go to war with Iraq, and Donald Rumsfeld cums a little every time he hears of sectarian violence escalating in Iraq. They demonize not Jews as the supporters of evil and purveyors of moral decay, but a vastly similar group called 'liberals', composed of anti-war, pro-criticizing government figures media figures, celebrities, artists and, apparently, homosexuals. Liberals, despite being the minority in government, secretly control everything, even when it's pro-Neo-Con, apparently. These liberals support the enemy, support the destruction of America, and according to White House officials/Rush Limbaugh, unless we do something about them, we'll continue in the Depression-era Weimar Republic.

Key ways to tell the difference: If they support exterminating the Jews, they're Neo-Nazis. If they support exterminating the liberals, they're Michael Savage. If they support labeling liberals as traitors and bring back the Alien & Sedition Acts, they're Neo-Cons.

IDEOLOGY - HOW TO ACHIEVE GREATNESS FOR THE NATION

Neo-Nazis: The Neo-Nazi Plan goes thusly: First, the United States must expel all the Jews to Israel or somewhere else, the important point to get all those Jews into one singular place, perhaps Alaska or Puerto Rico. Anyway, U.S. then either isolates or bombs said Jewish area, wiping out all the Jews who can exert influence and control over America. Next stage is to roll back Civil Rights to, oh, pre-Civil War time. This neutralizes the blacks. Thirdly, build a wall to keep the Mexicans out. The problems of minorities all sorted out, America is free to undergo fascist upheaval [aka Jeb Bush replaces George W. Bush as Supreme Leader] and start a lot of wars with countries who fail the paper bag test.

Neo-Conservatives: To the eye of the beholder it may look the same as the above, but some differing points and plans present themselves. Step 1 for the neo-cons, set up a democratic Arabic government in the Middle East in the form of Iraq. Then a fence between the United States and Mexico, kicking out all the Mexicans from America. Step 3 is already accomplished ahead of time thanks to a little thing we call Hurricane Katrina. By decimating the poor and the minorities, consolidation into one state is achieved and soon the United States can supersede the United Nations and become the world's one government.

Key ways to tell the difference: The simple question of "Who should go first, the Jews or the Mexicans" will tell you who's who. Jews for the Neo-Nazis, Mexicans for the Neo-Cons.

IDEOLOGY - WHAT'S THE 'NEO' FOR?

Neo-Nazis: The 'Neo' in Neo-Nazism refers to post-World War II Nazism after the brutish dictator of Nazi Germany, Adolf Hitler, killed himself in 1945. The basic tenets of Nazism comparable to Fascism are racial nationalization, anti-Semitism, and admiration for Hitler and the Nazi Germany regime. Whereas Nazism centered itself solely in Germany, Neo-Nazism takes a broader support base, everywhere from America to Russia to the U.K. to even Croatia! They deny the Holocaust as either being as bad as reported or as even existing.

Neo-Conservatives: The 'Neo' in Neo-Conservatism refers to post-80's Conservatism, specifically after brutish dictator of Fascist America, Ronald Reagan, died in 2004, and when his brain died somewhere in the mid-80's. The basic tenets of Neo-Conservatism comparable to Conservatism are virulent nationalism and patriotism, homophobia and classism, and admiration for Reagan and the Fascist America regime. Whereas Conservatism centered itself in America, Neo-Conservatism takes a broader support base, everywhere from America to America to America. They deny the Iraq war as either being as bad as reported or as even existing in 'war' terms [some prefer 'liberation' or 'conflict'].

Key ways to tell the difference: Ask them their opinion of the War on Iraq. If they're convinced the war is going great, assume Neo-Conservatism. If they answer to the negative, ask them if they believe the Right-Wing's comparison of Hitler and Saddam Hussein. If the person responds, "Nein! Hitler never killed anyone, the Jew media just fabricated all those dead bodies and cremation ashes! We baked cookies in those ovens!", assume Neo-Nazism.

MID TERM TIME!

Who is this guy?

If you answered 'a Neo-Nazi', you're wrong. It's actually Ted Nugent.

BEHAVIORIAL - ATTRIBUTES UNIQUE TO BOTH

Neo-Nazis: When I talk attributes, I'm talking attitudes. Neo-Nazis skew towards asshole in the traditional sense, where an asshole beats you up, calls you a fag, steals your lunch money, etc., but with a unique wrinkle of continual complaining about being oppressed by the minority forces of America, specifically the Axis of Judaism and Whites In Blood Only. It's tough to be an oppressed militant asshole, but I gotta hand it to them, the Neo-Nazis manage to pull it off easily.

Neo-Conservatives: Instead of asshole oppressed style, the Neo-Cons go for a subtler, and smarmier way of being assholes. Smarmy means suits, ties, company man clothing giving off the sense of "I have money, so fuck yourself, I own the shit out of you." You see them laugh or smirk and you just want to grab them and punch their faces in. They rub it in your face that the entire world belongs to them and their plans and ideas are paper tigers but the people follow them anyway.

Key ways to tell the difference: If the bloke appears to be jerking himself off while talking: Neo-Con. If not, Neo-Nazi.

CLOTHICAL - THE MANNER OF DRESS

Neo-Nazis: These guys love to wear classic Nazi Germany war uniforms; it makes them feel special and important despite never serving in any military, much less the proponents of blitzkrieging it up. A lot of armbands, monocles, brownshirts and T-shirts bearing slogans like "Throw the Jew Down The Well" and "I'm Gonna Shoot Me Some Martian Niggers" crop up in the usual pro-Jew killing circles, too. Shaved heads, while not really 'manner of dress' are notable too, since the strongest of the Neo-Nazis shave their heads or eventually go bald. The non-flamboyant Neo-Nazis don't typically openly dress Neo-Nazi, but Confederate flag related clothing is a favorite of Southerners who hide behind 'State's Rights'. Otherwise, look for fat, ignorant looking fuckers.

Neo-Conservatives: These guys love to wear military uniforms, despite never serving in volunteer wars and outright dodging Vietnam. Outside of military uniforms, T-shirts like "Club Gitmo", "Kill the Spics" and "Since when are Iraqis 'people'?" are popular too. But by and large, Neo-Conservatives wear suits and ties. Except at photo opportunities, then they roll up their sleeves in an effort to look like the common man, aka the voter. Most Neo-Cons are bald or are balding at this time. Non-flamboyant Neo-Cons often wear regular clothing, but you can tell someone's a Neo-Con by asking if Arabs are people or insects. Otherwise, look for smug assholes.

Key ways to tell the difference: Search for insignias or armbands, those tend to scream 'Neo-Nazi'. If they work for the government in their suit, you can easily assume Neo-Con, but it's not always the case [example: Michael Chertoff].

Afraid you read this but still didn't master the art of knowing who's who? Well, I put together a little quiz. Answers are at the end of the article. Have fun and remember the three r's: Republican, Reich and racial superiority!

David Duke: Neo-Con or Neo-Nazi?

Karl Rove: Neo-Con or Neo-Nazi?

George Allen: Neo-Con or Neo-Nazi?

Paul Wolfowitz: Neo-Con or Neo-Nazi?

Dick Cheney: Neo-Con or Neo-Nazi?

Adolf Hitler: Neo-Con or Neo-Nazi?

Rush Limbaugh: Neo-Con or Neo-Nazi?

George W. Bush: Neo-Con or Neo-Nazi?

David Duke, Karl Rove, George Allen, Adolf Hitler - Neo-Nazi

Paul Wolfowitz, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, George W. Bush - Neo-Con

If you got 1-3 right: You're an Adolf Quitler, not an Adolf Hitler! Read the article again.

If you got 5-6 right: You're a Karl Mauve, not bad but not at the level you need to be.

If you got 7-8 right: Good job! You're well on your way to exterminate the Jews or exterminate the Mexicans, depending upon your preference!