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The War on The War on Christmas
by Bill O'Reilly
BUY THE BOOK
Today, December 2st, 2006, is Day 16 of the Second War on Christmas. The Secular-Jewgressives have tried to defeat us Traditionalists again by destroying Christmas, but we are not going to say uncle, nuh uh. Despite our steely resolve in the face of multicultural tolerance or accepting other holidays as valid, the SPs (buy my book, Culture Warrior, to see what 'SPs' means) are pulling out all the stops in their assault on the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Beyond their typical 'hating America' scope, even. Yes, they've begun criticizing The War on Christmas, marginalizing it. Worse yet, the SPs (buy my book) want to replace The War on Christmas with 'Stupid Bill O'Reilly Fake Wars' in terms of titling this eternal struggle. This is the trigger that will cause the War on the War on Christmas. I've seen it start to happen, and it looks bleak given the amazing power of the liberal media/liberal shadow government/Ted Kennedy/George Soros/The Gay-Juden Jewgenda. But the American people don't give up so easily! I'm calling on every Traditionalist (buy the damn book already!) in America to combat this War on the War on Christmas using ANY means necessary.
When I go to my local shopping mall and buy the appropriate number of copies of my own book (75), I am not greeted with a "Merry War on Christmas" by the beetle browed atheist nerds working at Barnes & Noble. No, they seem to not acknowledge the existence of this terrible, costly and dreadful war at all. Why? Part of the larger Jewish-Secular Conspiracy to destroy Christmas AND The War on Christmas. Outside of a few very well hidden books on The War on Christmas, none of the prominent displays had any War on Christmas literature, but the secularist elite did have a book on homosexuality AND a book on niggers. Talk about double standards, promoting radical and divisive lifestyles and staying away from traditional morality and moralizing. I should come to expect it, yet I routinely still hold out hope for America not losing the Culture War (buy Culture Warrior....now).
America is founded on tradition, and one of those traditions is religious freedom. You can be Lutheran, Baptist, Catholic occasionally, any sort of religious affiliation you want to have...so long as it's Christian, of course. Those denominations all celebrate Christmas, a federal holiday created by President Grant, so it must be set in stone. After all, as a Traditionalist, should we really be changing the decisions or laws we made 150 years ago? Smells like 'change' to me! Another tradition is unnecessarily flogging those who hold minority views, aka Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Tet and Winter Solstice followers. Can't knock it, it's American tradition, people. Despite widespread celebration of Christmas and an overwhelming majority of Americans holding to the Christian faith, Christmas is under attack. This leads me to another tradition - misplaced persecution. The blacks did it, women did it, Japanese in WWII did it, why not us, the REAL Americans? It makes total sense.
Once we understand tradition, we can understand why the War on Christmas exists and why the Liberal Media responded by waging their War on the War on Christmas. Minorities and liberals, bitter by the success of white people/Republicans, conspired to take down Christmas using their trojan horse smokescreen of 'tolerance' and 'laws'. We're under attack, people, from the ivory tower Jewish intellectuals, the Jihadists offended by baby Jesus in the manger, and atheistic homosexuals at the ACLU saying the government can't 'endorse' one religion over another. These are semantics, people. We don't need to necessarily always follow the 'law' or what some silly old document says, unless it supports my very thin argument. Now they see the success of the War on Christmas in rallying Traditionalist/white people/desirable Americans to support Christmas, Jesus, peace on Earth (the parts that matter) and other such things. And they're jealous. They want to persecute us like the persecution they fake feeling (those niggers asked for it). Therefore, The War on the War on Christmas.
The War on the War on Christmas is the name I use for liberals and their media elite buddies' attempts to ruin Christmas by trying to debunking those of us who believe in the War on Christmas. I believe the Constitution says something about respecting the beliefs of others, Mr. Liberal Elite. Tsk, tsk. Just like the good things in Iraq (schools built, Iraqis killed) not being broadcast in the leftie news, the War on Christmas is not accurately and fairly broadcast on CBS, NBC, ABC or any non-FOX NEWS network. There's a pervasive trend among the elite media which I'm not a part of - to marginalize real American views and to crush free enterprise and replacing it with communist sympathizer economic redistribution. My War on Christmas tote bags, audio CDs and lighters bring me thousands in income every month. Do I ever see economic reports on ABC extolling the War on Christmas' role in helping the economy along? Do I ever see anyone praising Bill O'Relly for his populist nature and can-do boycotting spirit? No, I see people mocking me for this War on Christmas is apparently 'non-existent' and 'stupid'. If it's so stupid, then how come I'm getting higher ratings than you?
I'd like to use an example of blatant hatred of the War on Christmas, as seen in Kalamazoo, Michigan, literal hotbed of Satan-loving liberal hatred and Secular Progressivism. The local government banned the placement of any War on Christmas trees on city property. Separation of state and cable news? Not so fast, 'Constitution' reader guy. The War on Christmas is a tradition and if we can't put traditions up in America, the terrorists have literally won. We might as well stop fighting the Culture War and give into the Islamofascist Jihadist Islamists. The War on Christmas exists, so stop thinking it doesn't exist. Experts from FOX NEWS and FOX NEWS agree with me; the War on Christmas is no laughing matter and making fun of it is yet another volley in the War on the War on Christmas. It is a federally recognized culture war, as seen by Bush's admission of it last December. Fake wars like the War on American Muslims and the War on Civil Liberties must be pushed aside in favor of a REAL fake war.
Some of my critics over at that liberal enclave and ratings weakling, MSNBC, question the veracity of the War on Christmas, and the War on the War on Christmas. The One Who Must Not Be Named even called the wars: "Ridiculous lies perpetuated by a bulbous ignoramus." Obviously the Secular-Progressives got to you, low-rated MSNBC! This is NOT fearmongering designed to scare a relatively sluggish populace into action in an effort to scare them into conservatism and reap profits from said fearmongering. This is fearmongering by the SPs designed to turn the unwashed masses onto atheism and science and all those other disturbing 'modern' things. Michael Moore, Cindy Sheehan, other anti-American troop haters want to turn this great country of ours into Iran. You know what Iran doesn't have? Christmas. And more importantly, a War on Christmas. See what I'm getting at here? A vast conspiracy targeting me and the rest of the populace that loves America. Only we can stop it, folks!
What can we as a people do to save Christmas AND the War on Christmas? The answer is simple. Go to BillOReilly.com, go to the Factor store, and show your Traditionalist support of American values by purchasing many fine O'Reilly products. My latest book, The War on the War on Christmas: How the media marginalizes the War on Christmas, as well as ornaments, tote bags, lingerie and The War on the War on Christmas For Kids are all available at the Factor Store on BillOReilly.com. Remember, the address is BillOReilly.com, where you can also read my latest columns and participate in Bill O'Reilly polls. If you fail to do so, Western Civilization may be on the brink of disaster and if these War on the War on Christmas tea cozies aren't all sold by Christmas, the Islamofascists WILL bomb something in America. Watch The O'Reilly Factor to find out what!