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DC Comics/Warner Brothers: A Match Made in Heaven
by Doom
Warner Brothers has not had the best track record with DC Comics films. The Batman films were an abortion, the first of which was the only good one at all, and Catwoman...at least it had a woman in it. Okay. We've seen Catwoman. We've been scared by Green Lantern. But there are worse premises that WB hasn't come up with...yet. But it'll happen sooner or later.
THE FLASH STARRING VIN DIESEL
Vin Diesel stars as Max Flash, a secret agent who works for a shadow organization that serves to protect average American citizens. But a genetic monster named Cold
(Willem Dafoe) wants to start a war between China and Russia. Can Flash stop him? Starring Keira Knightley as romantic interest.
SUPERCHRIST
Superman (Bill Pullman) returns from the grave in this film. Superman becomes one of the living again after Toyman
(Ashton Kutcher) threatens to destroy Metropolis.
AQUAMAN
Arthur Curry aka Aquaman, is one of the most fearless boat captains in the history of the world. But what happens when he has to pilot the Titanic?
BASED ON A TRUE STORY.
THE ATOM
Ray Palmer, in a science experiment gone wrong, becomes an atom. Watch as he fights Maxwell Molecule, millionaire tyrant of Atom Atlanta. Starring John Hurt as Maxwell Molecule.
JLA
Green Arrow, Batman, Spawn, George Washington and Wonder Woman team up in this high octane adventure to save the world from the mighty Doctor Doom.
BATMAN BEGINS AGAIN
Batman fails to solve a crime that the Superfriends would've figured out. Starring Ray Jay Johnson as Captain Conundrum.
SWAMP THING
Eco-terrorists didn't expect the swamp to fight back. FROM THE MAKERS OF
ANACONDA AND ANACONDA 2: MORE SNAKES THIS TIME.
SPIDER-MAN
Join Spider-Man (played by the guy who plays Fez on That 70's Show) as he fights Lex Luthor, a man in a giant green bat suit.
GREEN LANTERN
Jack Black sta--
SUICIDE SQUAD
Many people want to be Superman. Others, The Flash. But no one wants to be Jaleel White and Cyndi Lauper
(well, maybe perverted men do). Therefore, they become the crimefighting duo THE SUICIDE SQUAD. Join Rollerboy and Rocketchick as they fight plaque.
PREACHER: THE MOVIE
Jesse Custer (James Marsden) and Cassidy (Some Irish douche) go from town to town, preaching the word of the Lord.
JSA
Green Lantern, The Flash, Hawkman and Savage Dragon unite to form the Jesus Saves Alliance.
HARVEY HAWKMAN: ATTORNEY AT LAW
Harvey is a down on his luck attorney, until he defends the case of Superman v. Jimmy Olsen. OMG JIMMY OLSEN'S GAY
THE FAST AND THE FURIOUSER
Impulse and Zoom are street racers in a dangerous game of cat and mouse. But Reverse Flash decides to change that in a game of killed or be killed. Join Emilio Estevez, John Stamos and Haley Joe Osment in a game you won't win.
DEATHSTROKE
A remake of the hit comedy 40 Days and 40 Nights. Starring Jason Biggs. Directed by Woody Allen.
MANHUNTER
Renee Zellwegger in another romantic comedy. Starring Colin Firth as the fucking jackass guy.
MARTIAN MANHUNTER
Hugh Grant in another romantic comedy...ON MARS. Starring Colin Firth as the fucking jackass guy.
FABLES
A 2004 retelling of Pinocchio starring Jake Gyllenhaal! Rated R for nudity.
Y THE LYING MAN
Starring Micah Wright. Micah Wright's the only man who has the ability to lie anymore. Starring the monkey from Friends that Schwimmer raped.
LOBO
Sheriff Lobo (Jude Law) makes his stunning return. Featuring Alan Rickman as Deputy Perkins.
H-E-R-O
A movie tangentially related to Quentin Tarantino. Starring Daniel Radcliffe as John HERO.
FIRESTORM
John Travolta. Samuel L. Jackson. Two men, one a rookie fireman, one a brazened vet. The vet has one more fire until retirement. But can they face the FIRESTORM and both survive? Starring Gwen Paltrow as love interest who is in 3 scenes.
IDENTITY CRISIS
Robin Williams can't decide if he's a man who steals jokes, or a woman who steals jokes!!
MC PARALLAX
He almost destroyed the universe. He killed all the Green Lanterns. And now...this fall...he's going to bust some rhymes.
GREEN ARROW
Batman rip-off uses arrows instead of boomerangs. Tagline is: "In Sherwood Forest, no one can hear you scream." Jude Law as Ollie Arrow.
PLASTIC MAN
Who the fuck cares?