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100 People Who Are Screwing Up America Review
Apparently celebrities are the biggest threat to our country.
Remember when Cameron Diaz destroyed democracy? Or how about when Janeane Garofalo personally killed the troops in Iraq? Anyone with a brain doesn't because none of those events ever occurred, just as anyone with a brain doesn't believe in 'the culture war' supposedly ruining the United States, bringing the country to a state of 'tolerance' and 'cultural diversity'. DAMN YOU, LIBERALS! Fortunately, cultural and political analyst Bernard Goldberg knows the score, and his book 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America will serve as a Who's Who of enemies in the fake culture war. Marvel as Goldberg unravels the pack of lies about 'people in power' having responsibility for what goes on in our nation; instead it's celebrities, because policy decisions, yup, ghostwritten by Charlie Sheen in attempt to kill the American Dream.
For the most part, the people 'screwing up' America are, surprise, surprise, liberals, celebrities and other people who don't worship at the altar of Ronald "The Deficiticator" Reagan. For example, Courtney Love, who Goldberg refers to as a 'ho' [which happens to be the ENTIRE entry on her]. Her existence sullies America with each breath she takes! The same with the host of Fear Factor. He has done more to liberalize [and therefore DESTROY] morals than Women's Lib, Gay Rights, and Civil Rights combined! Don't get Goldberg started on those latter 'people' too, because he don't like no broads, fags or niggers tryin' to assert themselves or close the gap between inequality and equality. After all, according to the author, a straight white male is the hardest thing to be in our liberal-filled, Jew-filled, sex-filled modern society. Well, clearly now me and Mr. Goldberg ain't going to agree on much in this book.
The REAL reason why there's a deficit!
Liberals, liberals, liberals! All the people screwing up America are liberals, and all the politicians, whether they're even in fucking office or not, charged with 'screwing up America' affiliate themselves with the Democrats or some liberal fringe group, probably the Pink Communists. Al Gore, despite not holding political office right now, finds himself #18 on the list for reasons I can't understand. First Goldberg calls him a panderer because of an amazing TWO circumstantial examples, one of which easily loses credibility if you're not pro-life, and then Goldberg compares him to Osama bin Laden. Sure, why not, Al Gore's global warming crusades obviously are a transparent attempt to hijack SUVs and drive them into children's hospitals. THAT FUCKER. Jimmy Carter slots in at #6 because he had the gall to say perhaps Palestinians have been mistreated by Israel [Hey, those dead Palestinians are COLLATERAL DAMAGE, that makes it okay] and that the United States election in 2004 might not be as democratic as we assumed, but the Venezuelan election went off without a hitch. But...Venezuela is a country full of SPICS....COMMUNIST SPICS! How can that be?! Al Gore and Jimmy Carter are fake generals in the fake war we're fake fighting against celebrities, liberals and Europeans.
My other favorite listings: the ACLU, because Goldberg apparently approves more of Nazism than he does NAMBLA. Bernie's fine with some nice guy who just wanna bring 1000 years of prosperity to white people, but pedos? No First Amendment rights for them! He also screws up with the assertion of "most Americans are people who care about civil liberties"; wrong! Most Americans don't know what civil liberties are and can be brainwashed into thinking they're unneeded if the Arabs hate our freedom enough. Goldberg invokes 9/11 several times, basically saying "Hey, sandniggers don't like us. We need to track them down and put them in camps and if you don't want to help us put bar codes on these different-looking people, FUCK YOU!" Then there's Noam Chomsky, whom the author deconstructs with help from a David Horowitz quote. 'Nuff fucking SAID.
More dangerous than Al Qaeda and ham sodas combined.
To be fair, Goldberg does include the token Conservative guys even the farthest of right-wing fucktards can't defend. Like Michael Savage, who, despite being, y'know, MICHAEL FUCKING SAVAGE, only slots in at #61 on the list. David Duke warrants inclusion as well, and shows up at number 66. Because Neo-Nazism, on the whole, is less dangerous than Maury Povich. The right-wingers included don't really support the Republican Party, even in its radical "Let's wash ourselves with oil and brush our teeth with Iraqi blood" incarnation that we're suffering through now, because the right-wingers included, well, murder abortion doctors and support the Nazi Party and are Michael Savage and other such nasty unforgivable qualities. Don't be fooled into thinking Goldberg is some balanced commentator; he just included the usual suspects of "too crazy even for the Republicans". Everyone else happens to be liberal, most often entertainers, with no conservative entertainers making the list to my knowledge. Because Conservative entertainers Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider, boy, they've really improved our society through Deuce Bigalow 2.
The entire book screams "Won't somebody please think of the children?!?!!?" coupled by the philosophical tract of "human beings are nothing more than mindless media conduits who will be controlled by the most popular television show", neither of which are what I believe to have any bearing in who or what screws up our country currently. Goldberg really thinks that because of TV like Will & Grace, society has become more accepting of gayness and frank talk of sex. Maybe it's because network shows are for grownups and grownups can talk about grownup things without using placeholder words like "wee-wee" or "pee-pee". At least I hope so. And don't forget the Janet Jackson incident! I've yet to come across ONE CHILD, EVER, who got fucked up as a result of the horrible baring of breast. Assholes like Bernard Goldberg get offended for children because they know children will either not give a shit or be fascinated, not horribly warped like social conservatives expect anyone below the age of 35 hearing the word "fuck" or looking at a breast to be. The author uses an example in the introduction where a guy on an airplane says the word "fuck" in an airplane. Now, anyone with brains will realize the world does not end with an utterance of the word "fuck" because no one who watches the news for more than 3 minutes can't not yell out "fuck!" at least five times.
Goldberg's biggest stumbling block comes in scope. Far too often he focuses on people who, while annoying, do not matter on any significant level, and certainly not on a level to damage 'America'. Nowhere on his list does he charge the current Presidential administration, the think tank(s) behind many of the policies and institutions that are actually screwing up America, or the large government-complicit business monopolies which outsource and lower health and living standards every year [though he does list people like Ken Lay, which is fucking easy now that the general public has been TOLD he's evil and no longer has any connection with our President. Haliburton, though? Nice guys, totally not profiting on death and destruction], with, well, anything. Instead he targets people like Maury. And Margaret Cho. And Barbra Streisand. When was the last time anyone EVER said, "I give a fuck about what Barbra Streisand thinks!" Never. So how can she be screwing up America?! SHE HAS NO INFLUENCE ON ANYTHING AT ALL. Jesus Christ, man, if you're going to make up a fake culture war, at least involve some credible people.
Before reading 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America I had no idea who author Bernard Goldberg, and after some rudimentary research, I can safely say I regret knowing of his existence now. He's really a clipshow of other conservative media personalities who become personalities by attacking the 'liberal media' that of course they're not a part of, because the mainstream media affords to have a few sense-talkin' conservative preachers. And like every other right-winger, he bleeds hypocrisy. He bitches about celebrities and such lowering the public discourse but labels people with titles like "moron" or "ho", and generally makes completely nonsensical ad hominem attacks. The guy accuses Michael Moore of dividing the American people...but Bernie, you do the exact same thing in your book, even creating categories of bad Americans like 'America Bashers', 'Hollywood Blowhards' and 'American Jackals'! Hilarity. Goldberg takes the hacky conservative approach of "those dad-gum liberals think they's better than us with their support of gay marriage and curse words", further feeding the fire of anti-intellectualism, a mentality I like to call "Reading is for fags". A mental midget courting fame by way of saying all those things right-wing hacks have been whining about for years, Goldberg brings little to the table other than opportunism and flagrant "Good Ol' Boy" style pandering where a rich media-oriented guy tries to convince people he's just like them [see: Bill O'Reilly]. I don't have to mention that 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America lacks notes, references, substantiation of anything, but I thought I might as well for anyone not familiar with the pundit way of book writing. Anger first, fact second!
Who exactly does Bernard Goldberg want to win his fake war? If the enemies in the fake war are liberal intellectuals, the target market of Bernie's book AND the 'good guys' in the cultural battle we must fake win must be...idiots. If so it fits perfectly because Bernie Goldberg just so happens to be a card carrying idiot himself. I hope he makes a lot of cash peddling his fake war to fake news shows like The O'Reilly Factor, so I can add him to my list of "73 People I Want Thrown Off A Bridge".
I KNEW IT