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Anorexi Lexi
By The Red Jazz Fox
Music is a timeless art that, when done correctly, can be the most entertaining
thing in the world, or the most annoying thing if done wrong. After noticing the
horrible state that the music section of the web site is in, I took it upon
myself to try my own hand at this noble art. Being that I neither own nor know
much about any music out there it just seemed to make more sense to make music
rather than critique it. This song may not go double platinum any time soon, but
at least I tried, unlike you lazy bastards. Oh, and it's a rap song, so that
might help for it to make a little more sense. CHECK IT:
Yeah...Uh, uh yeah.
This is for all my homies in health class!
I knew this girl, she was so fine,
I just wanted her to be mine.
That girl seemed to be wherever I went,
She always made me pitch a tent.
But then I learned her problem one day,
When I heard all the people say.
(Chorus)*
Anorexi Lexi.
You think she's sexy.
We don't know, why oh why,
If she doesn't eat, she's gonna die.
It may look like she's ill,
Hey, don't worry she's on the pill.
I heard that but it didn't stop me,
There was nothing wrong from what I could see.
So, I took her out to a restaurant,
Where all those voices couldn't taunt.
I never had a cheaper date,
Saltine crackers is all she ate.
After that she went to the bathroom,
I just wanted her to come back soon.
I went to check on what took her so long,
Even I could tell that something was wrong.
So I, went to her not knowing what to do,
But when I got there she puked over my new shoes.
Then I remembered that little song,
And I knew why all of this went wrong.
(Chorus)*
Anorexi Lexi.
You think she's sexy.
We don't know, why oh why,
If she doesn't eat, she's gonna die.
It may look like she's ill,
Hey, don't worry she's on the pill.
So it came time for me to take her home,
She said she would be there alone.
Of course you know what I was thinkin',
And I had done a little drinkin'.
When we got to the door she moved to give me a kiss,
But even in my condition I was havin' none of this.
Her teeth were corroded, her gums were stained,
Of her tongue only a stump remained.
I knew I had to help her out in some way,
Plus I was scared, so I ran away.
I went to a phone and called my therapist,
And I tried to give him the gist.
About...
(Chorus)*
Anorexi Lexi.
You think she's sexy.
We don't know, why oh why,
If she doesn't eat, she's gonna die.
It may look like she's ill,
Hey, don't worry she's on the pill.
They came real fast, you can bet,
Caught that girl in a butterfly net.
When they finally carted her away,
There wasn't anything I could say.
When I look at that skeleton,
I knew that she wasn't the one.
I may have used to like that girl,
But now she just makes me hurl.
(Chorus)*
Anorexi Lexi.
You thought she was sexy.
We don't know, why oh why,
She got fed, she didn't die.
It no longer looks like she's ill,
All those doctors gave her some pills.
Anorexi Lexi.
*=Female backup singers, you know what I'm talking about.