Best viewed in 1280x1024
The Daily Raider is brought to you by the Project for an Unamerican Century and the Ronnie Gardocki Beard Preservation Society. The Daily Raider accepts donations, but we will only use them for liquor, cocaine and South American prostitutes.
Welcome to Myspace Loser of the Week!
by Rammspieler
Greetings sentient beings! It's that time of the week again where we round up the idiots found on Myspace and pick only the best of the worst for yours and our childish, imature and stupid yet totally necessary section. The Myspace Loser of the Week! This week we bring you a loser who obviously can't be anything else other than a loser because he's the kid of person that Doom loathes the most. A goddamn indie comic book writer/artist. The kind that thinks that everybody wants to read about his dull life in a cheaply bound indie comic book. His name is Carlos and we found him in the friend list of one of Rammspieler's friends. With friends like those however, we now know why Rammspieler prefers not to engage in any human contact!
So right from the start, from the dubious profile title to the fact that in his 'about me' section, we are told that he's a fan of 'Real Life' comics, we can ascertain that Carlos is the kind of loser that thinks highly of himself because if he decided to write a 'romantic comedy' comic book (that is the first time and I hope the last time where I hear the two terms being used together!), then surely his life must have been noteworthy enough to put into sequential art! Yeah, I sure love to lay back and read a good comic based on the non-descript and average life of John Everyman, complete with random whining on why life sucks and retellings about that time when he got stoned and swore that his legs detached themselves from his body and ran away from him!
So besides samples of shitty looking covers of his excersise in ego masturbation, we also get a look at Carlos's crap tastes. So besides listening to bands that can easily fit the 'emo/indie' mold perfectly, we can see that he must have thought highly of the "Constanteen" movie where John Constantine was nothing like his comic book self, because Carlos gets 'inspired' by it. I guess that's one explenation as to why his comics must be shit. Oh! What's this?! A FUCKING SMALLVILLE FAN. It makes me hope that this guy doesn't get picked up one day by DC to ruin even further their already fucked up and shat on line of incomprehensible fanwank books, although a Smallville fan could help DC in it's attempts to re-introduce the vague homosexuality that used to be a DC trademark, though! It will also piss off Doom to no end the fact that he misspells 'Sienfeld'. More evidence for the inanery of his books can be found in the fact that he actually likes the Teen Titans cartoons, worships the Dark Lord Seth McFarlane and reads Green Lantern! Is this guy a member of H.E.A.T.? He must be!
And here we finally see the disaster that is Carlos's book and in turn, the disaster that is his life, based on the fact that his book is after all, 'an autobiographical romantic comedy'! I for one wouldn't want to be the one reviewing his books. Infinite Crisis turned me off to reading comic books for a while and I sure as hell don't need some book telling about the time when Carlos's was caught with his fly undone or his experiences on the vendors floor of the comic book expo to turn me off from the desire to read comics on a more permanent basis. The only thing that could happen now is that when we inform Carlos that he won this week's Loser title, that we will probably end up in a rant in comic form, talking about the time that some losers from some low-traffic website made fun of him because they have nothing better to do than to make fun of overweight geeks who think that people are genuinely interested in reading about them. Now that would be what I call advertising!
View previous Myspace Losers of the Week:
Week 1: Autistic Josh
Week 2: Lor the Whore
Week 3: Juggalo Brandon
Week 4: Usagi Kou
Week 5: Stupid Wuss Man
Week 6: Jordan Powell
Week 7: Pat Lee
Week 8: Flora Bush
Week 9: FBI Sting Operation #524
Week 10: Cipriani