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Myspace Loser of the Week
Week 79: Lemansky
AND INTRODUCING The Iranian Nephew
Well now, the Daily Raider has come a long way in its time for Myspace Loser of the Week. Coming up we will soon reach a milestone of 80 Losers by the next week. Since next week's is such an important Myspace, it will obviously be dealt with a more competent team other than myself and someone Doom believes needs to contribute to the site more often. So I have decided to dedicate this week's article to the one member of the site who needs to stop getting fucked over by the White Man and CONTRIBUTE, DAMN IT! You see, Lemansky has gotten himself fucked over these last few weeks, and he continually gets re-fucked right after his ass has already taken a previous pounding. This has left him in a void in which there is little time to write any articles for the site, come to any meetings. Hell, he barely even comes onto the forums anymore. I'll let you all know that ever since his fuck up, I have become the sole writer capable of doing Myspace/Facebook/Blog on a weekly basis. So if you all have a problem with these Nerdlinger Team-Ups, BLAME LEMANSKY! MOTHERFUCKER FORCED ME TO WRITE 7 WEEKS STRAIGHT OF NERDLINGER TEAM-UPS AND FOR WHAT?! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE FIRST TEAM FOR TEAM-UP, ON A MYSPACE I HANDCHOSE AS A PERSON HE COULD EASILY MOCK! AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS?! HE GETS HIS ASS IN TROUBLE WITH WHITE LAW AND I'M LEFT TO WRITE IT MYSELF! WELL, FUCK YOU, LEMANSKY, FUCK YOUR MOTHER ASS AND MOUTH IN HELL!
Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to start off with the whole experience when one first views Lemansky's Myspace page. The first thing that comes to mind is "Why the fuck is there music blaring through my speakers?" Yes, it seems even Lemansky has fallen prey to the old "autoplay" habit that every Myspace Loser is victim to. I won't complain too much about it though, since he actually decided to use, you know, GOOD MUSIC as opposed to shitty music. The Combichrist song is nice and gives the page a nice feel, it's just that WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE THAT SHIT ON AUTOPLAY?! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE YOUR SHIT BLASTING OVER MY PORN (THAT IS PURELY FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES FOR AN ARTICLE I'M DOING) AT ONE OF THE PIVOTAL SCENES! ALLAH DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!
Fuck your "British" heritage!
Have a look over at his profile details. Male, 18 years old, those two are in line, but then there's this: "Manchester, Northwest United Kingdom". It seems that he likes to take his British act even over to his Myspace. Our Lemansky likes to lie to all of his "friends" and denounces that he was ever born in America, let alone the state of Texas. I can see where he's coming from, to an extent, but why try and hide your true origins, Lemansky? Why lie to everyone? Why try to be someone that you are not? Why try to be British when you can't even name the UK's last 5 Prime Ministers? WHY MUST YOU DROWN IN THIS SEA OF LIES?! IT PROVES NOTHING ABOUT YOUR TRUE CHARACTER OTHER THAN THAT YOU ARE A LIAR! A LIAR WHO DOES NOT UPHOLD HIS PROMISES OF DOING A COLLABORATION WITH ANOTHER FOR A MYSPACE ARTICLE! I HOPE IT MAKES YOU FEEL SUPERIOR, BELIEVING THAT YOU ARE OF BRITISH DESCENT! BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH OF IT ALL! I KNOW YOU ARE TRULY A TEXAN - INBRED AND RACIST TO THE CORE!
Even if you do not factor in the lying, Lemansky is still a sad, sad man. I mean, let's have a look at his top friends: Suck my Vic, Rammspieler, mEGaN, Nathan, PIG, KMFDM, Combichrist, and The Absence. Two online "friends", two others whom I assume he knows in real life, and then 4 bands. What the fuck is this shit, man? I will never understand why the fuck anyone would "friend" a band on Myspace. It's as effective as "friending" a movie, like Cloverfield. You can't really do much shit with a "friend" like that other than say "YOUR BAND ROCKS, DUDE!" on their wall. And even then, there's little chance said band would even give a shit about what you think, since they're too busy swimming in their pools of money, prestige and love. Then there's the question as to why he only has 8 top friends. ARE YOU NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO HAVE MORE THAN 8?! ARE YOU THAT LONELY OF A MAN, THAT YOU ONLY HAVE 2 REAL FRIENDS WITH THE REST ALL BEING PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE WITHOUT MAKING A PAYMENT AT THE FRONT DOOR?! IS THIS TRULY THE WAY YOU ARE, LEMANSKY? SOME POOR LOSER WITHOUT ANY TRUE FRIENDS?! ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!
Yes, Lemansky truly is a true Loser when it is all said and done. Little actual top friends, and he befriended Doom and Rammspieler on Myspace when he damn well knows they rarely use the social networking site. I mean, what's the point in having them as friends when they will rarely write on your wall with a little .gif of Snoop Dogg dancing or link you to a hilarious YouTube video? THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF MYSPACE, LEMANSKY! YOU NEED PEOPLE WHO WILL CONSTANTLY POST ON YOUR WALL IN YOUR TOP FRIENDS! THAT'S HOW YOU CAN TELL THEY ARE A TOP FRIEND! At least you actually have one person doing this, a Mr. Matthew has been someone who has courteously posted time and time again on Lemansky's wall with horribly done html code for pictures that now lead to no actual images. It was the thought that counts, as he posted these filling up about half of the entire space of the wall. These are the kinds of friends Lemansky has take in; they are one of his own and it befits him to the fullest extent.
You friended a SPAMbot, you dumb shit.
Now, I'd like to finally take a rest from all this. It's become apparent how fucking retarded Lemansky is from this Myspace. I mean, to friend a SPAMbot? I've only seen that shit on the Myspaces of the pornstars I've been on (again, purely for the Raider, guys). For now, let it be known that Lemansky has become lucky enough to be a recipient of this treatment twice over now, once for his Facebook and once for this. Now there's nothing else the Daily Raider can use to mock him. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, LEMANSKY?! NO LONGER WILL I BE ABLE TO POINT OUT YOUR IDIOCY TO THE OTHERS! AFTER THIS YOU'RE OFF LIMITS TO ME, AS DOOM HAS MADE IT CLEAR! BUT BELIEVE ME, I WILL FIND OTHER WAYS! EVER SINCE YOU LEFT ME TO HANG ON THAT MYSPACE ARTICLE! AND NOW IT HAS BEEN A CONSTANT STREAM OF THEM I'VE HAD TO WRITE! I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I LEAVE WITH THIS MESSAGE, LEMANSKY: FUCK YOU!
View previous Myspace Losers of the Week: