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Myspace Loser of the Week
by Doom
guest appearance by Misery Paingoth
Week 91: Gothic Liberation Front UK
Yes. Something called Gothic Liberation Front exists. I was as surprised as you are now. I did not think such a thing had any chance of somehow existing until Rammspieler gave me the link to the Myspace. Really, just a link to their Myspace page would suffice for this article. We don't really need to elucidate the material with cunning insight because the idiocy speaks for itself much of time. But, you know, what the hell. Why not tear apart these idiots. I am a vaguely proud Goth fellow, but I'm not proud enough of my choices in fashion and music to devote a lot of my fucking life to advancing the Goth 'cause', whatever the fuck that is. But some people, like the Gothic Liberation Front, decided they need to, because apparently they have no lives and latching up people's deaths to popularize themselves is a noble act. And it's not only because I'm of the opinion people who devote themselves to causes are in almost all cases shitheads who try to supplant their lack of meaningful existence into a bizarre pseudo-collectivist group of people with whom they share only superficial similarities.
http://www.myspace.com/glfbrightonuk
The UK branch of the GLF was chosen because it includes a lot more inanery than the other Myspace pages for the group. The design of the GLF page inspires much laughter, of course. I mean, come on, look at it, people. It's fucking ridiculous. It's got the entirety of the needed ingredients for the cliché Goth Myspace design. First, the picture of a rose or some other sort of flower, accounted for in the hilarious GLF logo. Second, a picture of some mystical character, preferably something feminine because most Goth Myspacers are chicks. You can't see it very well in the screenshot above, but if you go to the Myspace and scroll down some you'll see the background has some sort of dark yet unthreatening figure with female attributes. Probably an angel or some other heavenly creature; I'm not sure because I did not brush up on my Bible, Anne Rice or other bullshit fiction Goth girls so love. The point is, this Myspace's graphics embody the very stereotypes which cause Goth people to get picked on and beaten up over.
Now, the biggest reason why the Gothic Liberation Front exists is the death of Sophie Lancester, some Goth-y chick who got offed supposedly because of her Gothic dress. I'm not entirely sure whether that has been proven to be the cause, but nonetheless it resulted in an outcry in the 'Goth community', the pussiest members of it crying about social intolerance and how, like, if this isn't curbed the Goths could all be put into concentration camps at some point in the future. Look. What happened to her was awful, but the reaction was a larger crime than the poor girl's death. Giving these whiny fucking people a fake cause to dedicate themselves to affects the world negatively much more than a single death does. Also, you must consider the unseemliness that occurs when people co-opt someone's death to form a vague movement aimed at ending a problem that by definition will never stop. Who benefits? These GLF fuckers - affixing themselves on the corpse of Sophie Lancester gives some needed publicity. Adding to that, the way they go about furthering 'the cause' is fucking retarded, reducing Lancaster to a dead body people can grandstand on.
But I don't overall think the movement offensive, because I do not get offended by anything. Rather, I find it ill-advised and idiotic, not to mention pointless. The writeup in 'about me' shows more of a naive ignorance than cold, calculating malice in concocting the group. The founder'd have to be a lot smarter than she appears to be from her writing. I mean, she calls herself 'Debz'. Debz? Someone who calls themselves that screams for attention without wanting to do anything which might compel people to give attention. It's even worse than a Suicide Girl name; at least those require a micron of creativity most of the time. When I assess movements or protests, the question I always ask myself is "what are they trying to accomplish and how are they trying to accomplish it?". Debz shows no clear idea of either. Sure, she and the GLF want to cover specific things, but there's no indication of what they're doing will result in a tangible effect. If you're going to expend effort, set goals. People are always going to hate people who look or act different. Legislation won't stop it, and it's difficult to ascribe intent (thus classifying a Goth beatdown as a hate crime) if there is no tangible evidence.
Hence the inability for the GLF to really do anything. A "Goths Are People Too" campaign won't really change anyone's minds because people inclined to treat other human beings as human beings won't need it and bigoted pricks won't listen to it. Incremental progress is had with future generations less beholden to idiotic prejudice, but that's about it. Going back to the hate crime thing, I think people who would be willing to beat the shit out of Goth or subculture people for existing wouldn't exactly be deterred by a harsher punishment. This applies for all hate crimes legislation, but it becomes more comical when it comes to legislating against crimes against Goths, since, uh, come fucking on. There's about a dozen minority groups who have been persecuted more than kids who wear a lot of black. Plus, doesn't the predilection for Goths and Rivetheads to kill people balance things out? Jocks and other assholes harass and bully Goths, Goths strike back by murdering them. Seems quid pro quo enough to me. And since most shooters off themselves before the pigs can, everyone gets theirs in that situation.
The page contains a printable flyer for you to...I don't know, really. What would you do with a GLF flyer? Where would you put it? At a Goth club, where people already know not to kill each other based on personal appearance? (I do reserve the right to beat and kill people wearing Pigface shirts.) Somewhere where people think Goth people practice Satanic witchcraft that tries to kill the baby Jesus? Shit. Well, irrespective of those things, it exists. Lemme show it to you here so you can read the horrors for yourself without having to spend time on Myspace.
First of all, the fucking thing is hilarious. Come on. Even if you sympathize with their mission, you gotta admit, the fucking downtrodden Goth chick with mismatched clothing and THE BLACK BALLOON... you can't make this shit up, folks. I don't have a joke for that; the image itself should provide more laughs to you than I could. The girl establishes the cheesiness of the flyer and the accompanying text does nothing to counter. When dispensing results from a poll in a flyer or a brochure or other propaganda, it's a good idea to give some context as to what the poll was, who took it, who collected the data, when, where, all those details. This has none of those. The flyer uses scare capitalization to illustrate points and engender shock while still failing to offer any sort of corroborating evidence to back the claims. It's fine if you, you know, just believe every piece of text you read. While it has good intentions, come on, people who think Goths are the Devil are never going to not think Goths are the Devil. Changing the minds of shitheads is difficult if not impossible.
For dissenting opinion on the GLF being inane, here's Misery Paingoth, resident Goth with an entitlement and crucifixion complex:
You are totally not taking persecution against Goths seriously, Doom! You're not a real Goth if you don't have solidarity with the Gothic Liberation Front and if you don't own every VNV Nation CD. Our people are persecuted horribly. I can't tell you how many times people have made fun of me for what I wear or what I listen to. Us Goths are unique because obviously no one else is discriminated by basis of their appearance. I mean, if there were, I'd probably like have heard of them before. The Gothic Liberation Front has a goal important to all true Goths: stopping hate crimes against Goths. If you oppose that, you're a self-hater or not a true Goth. Either of those is DISGUSTING to me. It makes me cry because you're making things worse, not better. Things need to change, people, and I don't need to tell you that. The GLF is a force for good in the world of forces of hatred and intolerance against me (just because I wear black lipstick!). Obviously the most important issue in the world right now is discrimination and violence against Goths.
In case you believed the Gothic Liberation Front was not susceptible to the petty infighting, factionalism and backstabbing that permeates the Goth 'scene', don't worry! As the following post will indicate, the GLF has unauthorized splinter cells the Central Committee/Central Kommand doesn't approve of. Splinter cells. Oh, Jesus Christ.
I'm reminded of the Soviet Union, when members would constantly be expelled from the party for not falling in line with the Stalinist ideology of the day. What could the unethical and unlawful behavior perpetrated by Middy possibly be? An overly aggressive leaflet campaign? Calling for perpetual worldwide Gothic revolution? Considering how pussy the GLFers are, one must wonder what their definition of unethical and unlawful is. Also, you gotta love that the organization already has a central bureaucracy to it despite it being, you know, something called the Gothic Liberation Front. They already take themselves too seriously, but squabbling about the legitimacy of the Missouri chapter just increases the hilarity. Who gives a shit about Goths in Missouri? That's like caring about black people in Nebraska in that neither exist. And who cares about GLF United having no official affiliation with the 'real' GLF? Does legitimacy given from the central bureaucracy really matter that much? Really, come on, this isn't like Stalin's Soviet Union. The satellites don't need to follow the communism of the central government. GLF Missouri isn't fucking Yugoslavia, nor is that rascal Middy Tito. Mainly because that'd make the main GLF Stalin, and Stalin's way cooler than these losers.
Gothic Liberation Front UK bears a bit more resonance than any other GLF branch since the death of Sophie Lancester occurred there and is one of the only reasons this stupid shit exists. But it's still idiotic, the concept ridiculous and the execution even worse. You know going in the thing's going to be fucking stupid, but when you go through it the stupidity becomes more than expected. One last point: after all my fucking hours of drinking/work on this bullshit, I still don't know why it's called Gothic Liberation Front. If it's not about other people liberating Goths, what are the Goths liberating themselves from? Tyranny? Taxes? I don't fucking know. And I don't think the GLF knows either. It's like the Avengers; the name sounds cool, but it doesn't make any sense. None of this makes any sense.