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Blog Fuckhead Shithead Crumbum Nigger with a Faggot Nigger Son Moron of the Week
by Doom
Week 1: Debut!
So, what's with our Blog section? We had one (and by one I mean 'addition to') in September 2006, October 2006, November 2006, December 2006 and January 2007. Then it never showed up again. Why is that? Well, there's not really a concrete 'reason'. We just sorta lost track of it and never really made an effort to resurrect it because I didn't want to do it and no one else around here does anything. Until now (on both fronts!). Now we are bringing it back as a weekly feature to compensate for us offing the Livejournal weekly 'thing' a few months ago. For a while I had to think of what the new title should be, to differentiate it from its monthly predecessor. As you can see by the strike filled title of the article, I eventually settled on 'Moron'. Hey, it's not as though we're using it for anything else anymore, so why not recycle it. To make a protracted introduction less protracted, here's the first moron for this shit:
http://www.hearingitright.blogspot.com/
Look, it's the banner from every crappy conservative webpage circa 1996!
You might say "But Doom, that blog only has 3 entries on it! Obviously it's a shitty excuse for an idiotic blog!". You'd be correct. Hearing It Right is definitely not the best example of crazy wingnutism. I chose the above for two reasons: 1) the moron writer is a local moron who goes to UWM (my college) and 2) it's the (bad) quality, not the quantity that matters. The high concept of the blog is the author wants to set the record straight, as in his view the record's been hopelessly distorted by those evil, communistic, atheistic, homosexual liberals who run the media, the banking system and the Congress. (Iraq War? On a fucking soundstage in California. The REAL war ended when we toppled that Saddam Hussein statue.) So far he has completely failed in this regard, so it makes it all the funnier. A right-winger who starts something and then lets it peter out into wasted space? I've never heard of THAT before.
First entry lays out the concept I described to you previously. But it contains the added comedy of receiving a total of 1 comment in over a month. 1 fuckin' comment. Methinks his glorious quest to rid the world of LIBUREAL lies has fallen quite short. Said 1 comment comes from some woman named Allyson. I did not probe further into her background information, mainly because she's not all that attractive and I'm not all that interested in women I don't want to suck my dick. Call me misogynistic if you must... But anyway. The next entry gives his thoughts on The Kingdom, the famed "Arabs are inhuman scum who need to be annihilated for White Rights to take hold" film I actually decided to watch upon reading his glowing 'review'.
See? Isn't that marvelous? Does it not say, succinctly, what we all assume to be the mindset of conservative jerkoffs who watch these sorts of exploitation trash films? For Lucifer's sake, the fucker cites World Trade Center and United 93 (he erroneously calls it Flight 93...I assume he's not referring to the shitty direct-to-TV exploitative rubbish, but rather the shitty THEATRICAL exploitative rubbish) as 'good' movies! What more do you need! If you do need more, just look at his comments on The Kingdom. They have no substance to them and contain the same old same old rhetoric of Muslims being ruthless killers so ruthless and crazy and NOT FROM HERE they don't care about their own lives. So they're the Japanese, only less zipperhead and more towelhead? Then he goes so far as to suggest Hollywood make more of this crap. Why? What would more xenophobic garbage do? Improve the US reputation? Foster more racism in the US of A? I see no positives for more The Kingdoms. Then again, I'm not the target audience as I have no belief that "they will come again to destroy us". The 'again' would imply the terrorists behind 9/11 could 'come again'. Not so! Last I checked, they all died in plane crashes. I'm also not the target audience because I can reach orgasm without the aid of seeing pictures of dead Palestinian kids.
The third and, dare I say it, greatest entry directs us to his first and as of today only editorial for the UWM Post: a rebuttal to a previous editorial which extolled the virtues of Cuba (or so Jeske claims). The editorial Jeske took issue with actually just pointed out some of the differences between the perception of Cuba created by American propaganda and the reality of Cuba. For this, the author cited sources, quoted real people and, you know, did research. Our boy, however, has some sources of his own. Too bad he crams all of his 'facts' into one paragraph and barely addresses what the fuck he's trying to say. Out of the 6 paragraphs in the 720 word editorial, the first two don't even broach his actual argument (he spends time claiming Iraq is a 'success', for one...). The criticisms of Cuban government he does mention apply to the American system as well. Read the thing for yourself here. My favorites: Jeske complaining about Cuba lacking due process and the executive having unchecked authority. I wonder who that reminds me of! It's overall a rubbish editorial indicative of his National Review hack personality and argumentative skills. When he went into "God-given right of freedom" I just lost interest.
His ashtray? Homeless people.
Aaron Jeske is notable for (well, 'notable' for the purposes of this article; otherwise he's an inconsequential piece of shit), indeed, having a picture of himself on the blog that shows him smoking a cigar and holding what I'm hoping is an alcoholic drink (if not, then he's trying to look cool while drinking some Coca Cola derivative). Those elements connote class, dignity, upper crust attitude. Accomplishment. Yet, of course, as with all College Republicans, the guy's never really done anything. I mean, I searched him on Google and his name's not linked to any synagogue fires, any black business robberies, any homeless person murders. All I found in relation to him: a comment on McBride's shitty blog (Jessica McBride being a female version of Charlie Sykes, only somehow more annoying and soulless), a membership in a fucking video game clan, and the aforementioned UWM Post activity. So far it seems he's a really, really shitty FreiKorps boy. He talks the talk but doesn't crush the skulls. See, that's what I hate about the right-wing youth of today. Most of them become right-wing youth because of their parents' wealth and the sense of entitlement created from that wealth. They just fall into the activity of hating gays and the homeless. You never see good old fashioned curbstomping anymore. Well, I think a good reicher should really put some effort into being conservative. Until Aaron Jeske can kill a Jew his way out of a paper bag, I'm not impressed with his faux sophistication. The College Republicans may comport themselves as douchebaggy A/V club nerds, with their suits and ties and all, but they haven't done the conservative touchstones. Beginning statements with "you know what the problem is, it's the problem with the niggers". Defacing a synagogue. Wearing SS earrings. Go in a hood for Halloween...and every other day. The current crop just disappoints me in comparison to the all-time greats of Heinrich Himmler, George Wallace and Edward Norton from American History X (pre-prison).
I suspect Aaron Jeske's Hearing It Right will never receive another update again. It started off as a shitty concept and it never took off. The name itself makes no sense, for one. "Hearing It Right" would mean the blog posits a way to 'listen' the conservative way. How the fuck could one do that? It's ridiculous, unless conservatives have gone so insane they propose alternate methods of listening in order for reality to more closely resemble the reality in their heads. Thus, "Telling It Right" or "Saying It Right" would be a more appropriate blog title, especially as Jeske intends/intended to refute the LIBERAL LIES OF THE JEWSTREAM MEDIA. When the name doesn't make sense, the rest sorta follows in the same direction of incoherent, poorly executed bullshit. Aaron Jeske's better off organizing meetings of 'like-minded individuals' who feel 'the growing tide of multiculturalism' needs to be 'whited out'. Or he could suicide bomb an abortion clinic. At least that would be a tangible impact on the world, as opposed to his current path of living it up as a starched shirt mediocre petty-bourgeoisie-in-the-making for the ever more crumbling Republican corporatist fascist dynasty.
View previous Blog Morons of the Week:
Month 1: Jacque Randroid
Month 2: Blogs for Bush
Month 3: Kirsten Powers
Month 4: Tom DeLay
Month 5: The Jacksonian