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Blog Moron of the Week

by Doom

Week 30: Leftish blog hogwash

Idiocy comes in all forms, and on the Internet there is nothing special to exclude people from all walks of life to falling prey to the wonders and inanities of blogging. Although the site tends to favor mocking the conservative and the religious, that's not the entirety of the chaff that needs to be eradicated. Liberals are just as guilty of plugging the series of tubes that apparently is the Internet with fecal matter, used tampons, used condoms and baby alligators (not necessarily in that order or in conjunction). Alas, a blog (seriously, that's the real name) champions "progressive" issues while still being a fucking worthless organ for moronic Democratic hacks and false flag leftists who believe we ought to sit quietly when the Democrats need us to vote for them. At least Republicans are by and large too stupid to know any better. These schmucks are straight up Menshevik toads.

http://www.amptoons.com/blog/

Awful.

Right off the bat I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. The above design is the only explanation you need for that. Not only is it ugly, it's just fucking stupid. Anything with a design like that ought not be taken seriously by anyone. Color scheme is garish, header seems trying too hard to be whimsical or interesting - the equivalent of a girl having a tattoo on her back - and overall the monstrosity is worse than earlier builds of this very site. And that's saying something to the 3 of you who were around when we launched. Anyway, Alas, a blog, is also nominally the organ of a lefty hack who draws comics. A cartoonist lefty? You don't say. And like political cartoonists' works go down like paint thinner, Ampersand (terrible name) writes and draws pure bilge. It's typical liberal humor which thinks "Republicans are crazy" is itself high art, as opposed to a stepping stone to a, you know, actual joke. Before we delve into the political musings of the fucking morons behind this shit, let me set the tone by critiquing a post about critiquing Whedon. Whedon criticism on the Internet is as hard to find as a progressive blog with triple digit IQ, but it occasionally appears. Better yet, it's fucking stupid criticism.

Okay, this one fails by adhering to the premise Dr. Horrible is funny when it's not. That combined with the fuck's appraisal of anything involving Third Rock From The Sun being hilarious renders the entire opinion null. Nothing in Third Rock From The Sun can ever be considered hilarious, not even the one where Levitt becomes a boy prostitute as a result of John Lithgow molesting him when he was Levitt's Little League coach. The reason this Penny character isn't funny is twofold: Whedon can't write humor (the supposition that he can sticks in my craw; it makes comedic reeducation of brainwashed civilians all the harder) and the role conceived as definition of struggling between two affections is not inherently humorous. Humor often requires the character to behave stupidly and I'm sure if Whedon went with that people would complain about his poor depiction of women, as though one woman stands for all women. Also, as Christopher Hitchens proved, women aren't funny. Internet sitcoms shouldn't exist, like the Octoparrot shouldn't. End of discussion.

This is worse than the previous. If there's one thing I'm tired of, it's people opposing humor for ethical reasons. Humor has no ethos. It is sociopathic and nihilist, positing nothing is of meaning and all exists simply to provide fodder for comedy. Reining it in to make people feel better or to discourage societal constructs is foolhardy censorship. The arbiter of whether a joke ought to exist or not is whether it's funny. Hence, prison rape jokes are good as long as they're funny. For fuck's sake, schoolmarmish WON'T SOMEBODY PLEEEEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN attitudes are what got us warning labels and movie ratings and the nation freaking out about Janet Jackson's tit. Not taking a subject seriously does not make the subject acceptable. Well, I hope these guys didn't make fun of Bush for being stupid because he's responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent people, plus some US troops. IT TRIVIALIZES THE WARS AND MAKES THEM OKAY! See? See how fucking idiotic the arguments Ampersand copies and pastes in lieu of forming original thought are fucking stupid. But maybe the fuckoffosphere is right. I better submit my jokes in triplicate to the House Acceptable Jokes Committee. Goddamnit, I hate when right-wing losers are correct about the PC idiocy in our culture.

I wanted to comment on this one because I hate Jeff Fecke and he's of a type endemic on the lefty blogosphere, or rather the idiot lefty blogosphere for better clarification. As he notes, Jeff posts on Shakesville, a feminist run by basket cases for basket cases. He's a lickspittle Smithers to the patron saint of hemophiliac Internet shut-ins Melissa McEwan. Male contributors to feminist blogs are invariably the immoral stooges who suck up to women and give lip service to their concerns in an ill-advised effort to get laid. I call it the Joss Whedon Plan. I spared you the rest below the cut, so let me summarize. He claims he became a devoted feminist because he had a daughter and got divorced. The second one caused him to self-reflect and realize it was all his fault and no amount of Wild Turkey and pathetic come ons to co-eds at the local hole in the wall will ever absolve him. So Jeff had a pity party and works off his sins by writing about feminism and jerking off to substandard feminist writers. ("I'm masturbating to their ideas; that's not sexist.") How could I ever resist reading such an original, insightful writer! Oh, right, I read real people writing.

Now. Politics!

You should've demoted it to deletion, you fucking worthless, clenched asshole. How the fuck does the cover promote establishing minorities in society as the other? By satirically noting, yes, the prospect of an openly black president is a new situation for Americans to process and therefore he and his kin are subject to undue scrutiny which conflates these individual black people with harmful stereotypes not even close to representing them or their beliefs? It is simply an affirmation of reality, not the goddamn New Yorker basing their image on the question "how best can we ostracize those uppity blacks and those explode-y Muslims all at once?!". This is a slippery slope and the chief problem with liberals whose first instinct is to tut tut and non-binding resolution criticizing something for having any amount of daring or chance of controversy.

Ampersand's aka Barry Deutsch's comic, by the way, is horrible and I can tell that judgy from the minimalist indie fucktard art style and boring slice of life story complaining about the gender separation in Jewish culture. You know what might allay that? Not following a stupid religion based on the paranoid ramblings of various strung out junkies who like totally saw that burning bush talk to them. I never understand why people prefer indie over superhero. Yeah, there certainly are some great indie comics, but most of them are plodding, self-indulgent messes about authors working out their personal issues. You can't have a fucking giant headed guy with a tiny body in a chair in film or television, but you can have some mopey idiot devolve into an insular fantasy life that can never ever hurt them in any fucking medium.

I'll give one thing to the Republicans: they're serious about shit. The shit they're serious about is ridiculous, sure, but those fuckers are hardcore while their equivalents on the left side drone on about pointless bullshit like Joss Whedon and facets of the Internet. That's also what I admire about activists in the 60s and Communists - except for the hippies and the college Marxists, reform and revolution is their priority one. These schmucks just come off as Internet cat ladies who whine about Old Man McCain being mean towards Shiny New Toy Obama. What happened to people like Lenin, like Che, fuck, like Bukharin? They're either in other countries or they don't exist. America better become a Britain-like irrelevancy soon or else the world is doomed to become a chaotic corporate police superstate if it hasn't already. And these fucks are just...fuck! The assholes ought to stick to the dregs of the DailyKos diary system or better yet convert the blog into missives about kittens and how gosh darn cute they are. Read some Buffy fanfiction and roast in Hell, idiots.

I need a(nother) drink.