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Blog Moron of the Week
Week 32: TBogg
When election season comes, liberals who may otherwise be decent people lose their fucking minds. It's not the conservatives who do it; they're always crazy. A liberal will spout rhetoric decrying torture, war, lack of social rights for homosexuals and other anti-progressive issues continually until it's time to elect some more Democrats. Then it's all about rooting for the home team and doing everything you can to ensure they win the Big Game. Of course, there's the question of whether said liberal was decent in the first place, if they're willing to sell out their principles for pragmatism which continues to accrue them shit, but let's not speculate here and now. The fellow I'm about to write about for a while is TBogg, a blogger for Firedoglake, which I suppose is some liberal haven of like-minded morons who actually give a shit about Joe Lieberman stabbing them in the back and keeping them from winning World War Election 2004. Or was that Nader? Well, it's hard to tell as TBogg lines up several official party enemies and pillories them for the amusement of the rabble that comprises this pathetic non-movement. I need a drink.
I'll admit I only chose this guy for the post you see above you. It was enough. Some Blog Moron article ought to speak about the hilarious hatred of third parties progressives/liberals/whatever have. For all their love of democracy, liberals hate hate HATE it when someone else DARES to run against the Democratic Party. They're enemies of the people, of the working class and pretty much are Republican plants designed to steal away votes from Democrats. Votes, I'll remind you, that were mandated to the Democrats from the day each progressive turned 18. To suggest that maybe people ought to choose who they vote for based on their personal beliefs and not whether they're shirts or skins, well, you're just as bad as Nader. TBogg creates a visceral metaphor more than implying Naderites live in fantasyland and no way could he ever win so don't bother throwing your vote away it's useless BUT DON'T YOU DARE DO IT OR ELSE OBAMA WILL LOSE AND IT'S ALL YOUR AND RALPH'S FAULT.
But better yet are the comments, who take TBogg's excellent post of amazing satiric wit and expand it into naked vitriol against the tireless consumer advocate who ensured everyone had to provide cars with seat belts, among other things (then again, HE NEVER WROTE A BOOK THAT WAS ON OPRAH!). You'd think Nader killed their dog, raped it and then used the dead raped dog to rape their parents. That'd be putting it kindly, actually; they hate him far more than that. These fucks argue pragmatism over hippie idealism (like, we couldn't do the shit Nader wants so fuck it and compromise with a band of robber baron war criminals), label Naderites as naive and Nader a narcissist who runs only for his own benefit. Wait, what? That last one is just fucking insane. These guys support Obama, a man so narcissistic he probably is a solipsist, and Nader's the preening sociopath? Really? Goddamn. I need to take their off-brand Ritalin; seems like good fucking stuff. If Nader were all about himself, he'd take a lucrative position in the leftist establishment, making bank off mealymouthed Nation articles and MSNBC commentator appearances. Instead, he takes a bold stand every 4 years against the two party system. How odd it is that the people entrenched in said system don't like him for it. One commenter goes so far as to say the following: "Will someone please buy Nader a Corvair, rip out the seatbelts, adjust the throttle so it sicks [sic], and then send him down Pike's Peak?" YEAH! FUCK HIM FOR...EXISTING! It's not like he's a war criminal. He's RALPH FUCKING NADER. Why not put out a hit out on Mr. Rogers while you're at it? Fucker robbed Dukakis!
But I can't spend the entire article mocking anti-Nader shitheads, can I? Well, I could, but I choose not to.
Yet this remains in kind with the anti-Nader post insofar as here he lambastes Clinton for not giving up immediately and not forcing her supporters to pledge unequivocal support for the Obama for President blitzkrieg. Of particular note, check out the third paragraph. "The reality on the ground for us is that we do pretty well for ourselves under a Republican administration" reveals way more about TBogg than I think he intended. The truth of Democratic Party hacks is they don't have incentive to do anything as they're white, middle class Little Eichmanns who don't have their apple cart upset no matter who's President. So it boils down to the 'integrity' of person, meaning Hillary acted meanly and tried to win a nomination too long into the primary season. Come on. I like neither candidate, but even I know Clinton's done worse shit than this, like the Iraq War vote, her general hawkishness (Patriot Act, wiretapping, Iran saber-rattling, etc.), penchant for censorship and morality policing, and so on. And of course there's the fact that she's not attractive and all women need to be attractive for them to be taken seriously. (But not too attractive; they'd be considered bimbos. Hillary needs looks on the...let's say Demi Moore circa 1997?)
That TBogg seemingly sets all of that aside in favor of duplicity in the primary season, which fucking everyone does, indicates his party hackery runs strong in his Renfield veins. Hillary stands in opposition to The Party, and she must therefore be crushed or assimilated into it. Like Ralph Nader. He will literally let John McCain win if it means preserving the Party. The Party's preservation must be perpetuated at all costs, apparently. This, this is why I find in-party fighting so fucking hilarious, it leads to situations where guys like TBogg will accept a Republican president with a Democratic majority Congress in spite of his presumed bitching about the last two years of governance and the Dems' general incompetence to do anything with their majorities. Also, don't forget the irony of the second post of his I analyze refusing to choose the lesser of two evils if the lesser evil is Hillary Clinton. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS JUST LIKE RALPH DID, TBOGG!!!! What a guy.
Most of the rest of TBogg's blog focuses on the idiocy of Republicans, the mainstream media and also blogging about his dogs. Basset hounds, you know. Called firedoglake for a reason, you know what I'm sayin'? I know this is a shorter Blog Moron than most. I defend that choice for two reasons: a) his blog is otherwise a lot of attempts at him being funny, which don't work as he verses his humor in the blogosphere terminology, like going on about "seriousness" sarcastically and using countless stupid, terrible nicknames for politicians and media figures and b) the two posts I did talk about proved what I wanted to prove from the outset: Democrat hacks go batshit when an election runs around, to the point of nothing else mattering beyond the horse race. It's mercenary and decadent, and its pervasive reach throughout the country can be used as evidence that America is a deeply fucked up country. Cause we always need more evidence.