Best viewed in 1280x1024
The Daily Raider is brought to you by the Project for an Unamerican Century and the Ronnie Gardocki Beard Preservation Society. The Daily Raider accepts donations, but we will only use them for liquor, cocaine and South American prostitutes.
Blog Moron of the Week
by Doom, Rammspieler and Generalissimo Furioso
guest starring Isaiah Washington
Week 37: GayPatriot
Gay people get a bad rap in this country. Every country, really, with the exception of those trendy Euro socialist ones. They're forced to conceal their identities because of the all too justified fear that those around them won't accept them for who they truly are. The US' laws are weighed against gay people, and the argument over whether to give same-sex partnerships the same rights as heterosexual couples has been raging for longer than David Duchovny's average erection. (For fuck's sake, until five years ago sodomy was still on the books as a crime in Texas.) Our country's shoddy treatment of people with a sexual orientation outside of societal definition of 'normal' is appalling and wholly unjustified. Or...is it? When you see GayPatriot, a website catering to conservative men who are open about sucking cock and do not deny bathroom hook ups, you will be seeing a gay man who seemingly doesn't think he deserves rights. Of course he is a gay Republican, the most ridiculous combination since Jewish Nazis. Isaiah Washington is so confused right now. Confused...WITH ANGER.
You know, whenever I hear gay men going on about 'divas' or some other stupid, retarded, Bette Milder Cher Liza Minelli bullshit, it brings out my inner Dan White. What the fuck are divas? And why do gay men give a shit about them? They don't fuck women, so why the fuck should they give a shit about "strong, confident" women, most of whom look ugly may I add. The term diva doesn't fucking mean anything. Sarah Palin is not a strong woman nor anything out of the norm when it comes to stupid fucking bitches who think God exists. This post above simply reinforces stereotypes people have that gay guys are vapid girls with penises. "Ooh, Sarah Palin, like, has really pretty hair! Heavens to Betsy!" I mean, according to this, GayPatriotWest defines "diva" as a "strong woman we love because she has pretty hair which means it doesn't matter if she hates us and prays to God to remove us from the face of the Earth". Who the fuck cares if she thinks homosexuality is a choice and opposes gay marriage, she pretends to fight corruption while whoring out to big oil interests. Already the first post we look at, this fuck is divorced from what we refer to as reality.
True. But I mean, voting for a VP just doesn't carry the same flare as voting for President. I mean, what does the VP do beside sit in the Senate all day? Nothing of importance, really, unless you're Dick Cheney and shrewd enough to expand power for yourself without anyone being able to do anything about it (Sarah Palin is definitely not shrewd enough for that shit). The VP is just the spare for use if anything happens to the President. Other than that, they keep them in the Senate just to keep them busy and not go bugging the big guys while they play. I've read a comment on another posting of this blog that Palin would be more qualified than Barack Obama to run the country simply because she's in command of the Alaskan National Guard. Also true (that she commands the Alaska National Guard, which does nothing), but irrelevant. How did this argument turn from "McCain vs. Obama" into "Palin vs. Obama"? They're not even running for the same office, for fuck's sake! I guess this is just Republicans way of feeling "socially conscious" for this election year and pimp out their token minority in the hopes of showing Democrats that they too have women in their ranks, albeit in token positions of little to no influence. For them it's always been about the boring old white rich guy.
And Palin is not a 'strong woman' by any stretch of the right's fevered imagination. Strength connotes, I don't know, principles, ability, that sort of shit, of which America Mayor (Female Edition) does not have any. Strength does not connote going into labor and then flying all the way to Alaska from Texas. That connotes massive fucking stupidity. She doesn't fight corruption or take on any special interests either; she just shivs enough people to get herself higher up on the governmental ladder, much like a member of the USSR's Communist Party back when Stalin died. Palin is a worse version of Khrushchev: a spineless toady when in her interest until it becomes politically in her best interest to get Beria killed and move up the succession. One only hopes she, like Nikita, gets shitkicked into private life later on in her joke of a political career. Bring on motherfucking Brezhnev.
Well har dee fucking har! This article reeks of bad comedy and even worse seriousness. Who in their right mind would ever possibly think to vote for a candidate because the spouse of the Vice President happens to be an Eskimo? It's fucking stupid. Though if you're bringing up the whole Eskimo thing, why not go all out? Why not call him Pieface and have him trot around in one of those big fuzzy suits while brandishing a harpoon and chomping down on an Eskimo Pie? Or better yet, run on the image of one of the many other prominent Eskimos in modern history like uh... oh yeah, Vulcan Raven. That motherfucker was an Eskimo and he had three good things going for him, 1) He was an Eskimo 2) He was magic and 3) Fucker had a big gun. Shit be cracking if he ran for President!
GayPatriotWest's justifications as to how he thinks it will benefit McCain do not fucking make sense. As stated before, you'd have to really fucking hate Native Americans to believe they would vote Republican, the very people responsible for their present condition, based on the vice presidential candidate having an Eskimo husband. What really is the "welcome sign"? "Hey, native population we whittled down to a minority of drunken reservation no-hopers, you too can marry a white woman if you apply yourself!" GayPatriotWest's argument bases itself on Indians wanting to become white. How very progressive of him, it will surely win votes for Republicans. Of course, his post loses all of its meaning upon learning from other people information such as Todd Palin not being possibly the first Native American in the White House and Native Alaskans not considering themselves Native Americans. Wuh-oh!
So rather than addressing the issues, you prefer McCain omit any mention of gay issues, since it will be a sign of "tolerance"? Especially when anybody with half a mind knows full well that by not mentioning gays it means "if there is one good thing about sandniggers, it's that they stone those fucking faggots to death!". I guess the government should have remained neutral on civil rights for blacks as well, like the Confederacy and the Dixiecrats wanted. "We neither condone nor condemn slavery as long as we can appease both sides of the abolitionist argument!" Yeah, the government tried that and as I recall, when the government finally did decide to take a stand on the issue, it had to go into a useless and bloody war against half of its own population just to get itself back together again. So clearly that was a real waste. The government adopting a position on letting gays live is too much of an intrusion into private life. I mean, first the government stops gay people from getting dragged from the back of trucks, then what? Fascism, my friends. Fascism.
I like how gay conservatives act like they're confused as to why people don't like them. It's obvious to everyone and even more obvious to me (even with my crippling brain problems) why they're not liked. For one, they're gay, yet they support the party that's the least fucking likely to give them the rights that the majority of gays want and second, they're gay so the party that they support wants nothing at all to do with them. They're a fucking antipode! It's two completely separate ideas that make no sense when put together like Democratic Anarchists or Flaming Icicles! I'm surprised that the universe doesn't scream to a fucking halt when they enter the room. That raises another question, why don't they ever come out to one of the big events like the Republican National Convention? Are gay Republicans creatures that cannot stand the light of day or are they beings that only exist on the Internet like the hot girl who plays video games? Think about that for a while!
Isaiah Washington, take it away.
You cannot be a faggot while also being Republican. It is not possible, and I, as a doctor of Faggotological Studies, am a reputable source for this information. Faggots are not true Republicans because Republicans dedicate themselves to protecting the traditional family structure. Faggots try to destroy that traditional family by going on television and having anal sex in full view of impressionable children. How can a gay Republican protect the family while also seeking to break it up with anal sex and hazardous measures like "adoption"? He cannot. It is impossible. A scientific impossibility. Just as you cannot have a perpetual motion machine, a faggot cannot be a Republican. Thus, we can conclude the faggot here is a secret Democrat who is pretending to be a Republican to make people think Republicans approve of faggots. Ingenious. But it won't work. Because just as I was able to defuse T.R. Knight, I will tell the world of the threat faggot Republicans pose to us.
While it is true the Democrats treat gays like shit too (they do towards every minority group whose votes are guaranteed to them every election), it's clear supporting Republicans when you're gay is self-defeating to the extreme. Thus, we can extrapolate from that that the only thing separating gay Republicans and regular Republicans is gay Republicans make it no secret they want to fuck men as opposed to the mainstream Mark Foleys and Larry Craigs of this country who fool themselves into believing they aren't going to Hell for having bathhouse indiscretions. The Right is overall a bastion of faggotry, a bunch of cowardly assholes who hide what they truly are in favor of bullshit posturing while also masturbating furiously to images of the troops. Republicans of all stripes are fearful of big black men who will invade their homes and taxing them into oblivion. The only difference is gay Republicans get turned on a bit by the scenario.